The Ebiker Joke thread...

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Lock
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The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by Lock » Aug 30, 2013 6:15 pm

`Kay... At a quick/brief search in ES, I do not see any "Joke Thread"... But it'd been a while since I've been "aboard" the Good Ship ES, so if anybuddy here has a link to such a thread, please "post up" here!

OK... So I'll "kick" things off here, just so folks here get the idea...

Q: Watt might an Ebiker (some of them) refer to as a "stink-mobile"?

A: The 20th-century horseless carriage. (currently referred to as the "automobile", or "car" for short, and most of them powered by the reciprocating gasoline or diseasal engine...)

Another one (file this maybe under how to drive other drivers/riders crazy)...

OK... Recently I was esconsced at the TERA Skips fav coffee shop on the Danforth... Overheard in the back patio.... A pretty Triumph motorcycle drives up (with a "GB" sticker) and parks... Another patron sitting on the back deck, near the back door/parking lot exclaims "Boy, that sure burns a lot of oil!"... And the conversation goes on from there...

I wanted to interject "Odd, my electric bike (tricycle) doesn't seem to be "burning" ANY oil?"

Hehe... But I shut up... moved on...

So that's all for now... But maybe I got a "million" of them (ebiker jokes... with apology to Jimmy Durante). Anybuddy else here got another one?

Lock
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by Lock » Sep 01, 2013 5:57 am

OK... In the city of Toronto, Ontario, on many routes ya get to meet (pass) many electric vehicles... Actually, they are almost entirely electric "street cars", ya see on many routes about the downtown... So some ebikers (shouldn't mention any names... Hehe) like to draw up beside the open (front) door of the stopped streetcar (stopped to pick up/drop off passengers) and ask the driver "Say, is that *electric*?!!!", and the driver (he or she, assuming you are an "out of towner") proudly puffs out their chest (the ladies seem to do this better than the gentlemen... Hehe) and exclaim that "Yes, it is!"... And the ebiker retorts "Hey! So is mine! Guess ya have really big batteries, eh?", and the driver replies and points to the overhead wires "No need of batteries, it (the vehicle) is connected to (the "grid", etc)... And the ebiker replies innocently, "So you (your vehicle) is "tethered" like some animals? Ya (your vehicle) can't take folks EVerywhere they want to go?" And the ebiker drives off, not waiting for the response...

Hehe...
L
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by deVries » Sep 01, 2013 6:02 am

Welcome back Lock! Great to see you back in such a foul mood...

:lol:

Just joking, of course! :P

We sure have missed you tremendously! Now you've got to catch-up with a few thousand posts. :mrgreen:
Uhhh, another bad joke...

Lovely to see you here again!!! 8)

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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by Ykick » Sep 01, 2013 6:40 am

Sure is good to see you posting again!

In the spirit of laughs, fun and LIFE, here ya go:

A nerd was walking down the sidewalk one day when his friend rode up on an incredible shiny new eBike.

The nerd was stunned by his friend's sweet ride and asked, "WOW! Where did you get such a nice eBike?"

The eBiker replied, "Well, yesterday I was walking home, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want!'"

The nerd nodded approvingly, "Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit."


All the best Lock!
Talent must not be wasted.... Those who have talent must hug it, embrace it, nurture it and share it lest it be taken away from you as fast as it was loaned to you.

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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by Lock » Sep 03, 2013 5:36 am

Hehe... "Foul mood"? Ya maybe have no idea...

Recently, on the site "Wall St. Cheat Sheet" (they say "... one of the largest financial media companies in the U.S. with over 13,500,000 monthly unique visitors"), they posted the article "8 Awesome Discontinued Cars That We Want Back"... here:
http://wallstcheatsheet.com/stocks/8-aw ... back.html/

My "comment":
Apparently, I understand is actually is more "eco-friendly" to be run over as a pedestrian or a cyclist etc by an electric automobile...
Hehe... It seems their site visitors may be too "confused" to "Thumb Up" (or "Down") my "comment"... Well, maybe "file" this on ES under "Ebiker Jokes" anyway?

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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by deVries » Sep 03, 2013 6:40 am

Lock wrote:Hehe... "Foul mood"? Ya maybe have no idea...
I've never seen you in a foul mood, nor have I by reading your posts.

So, that was a Foul Joke, instead. :mrgreen:

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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by Lock » Sep 03, 2013 7:18 am

Hehe... So, is there one "lone star" left in Texas any more?

Thing is, as an ebiker, I want to Rage, rage against the dying of the light. (With apologies to that crazy Welsh guy, who died the year I was born...)

Maybe our American friends could organize a "protest march on Washington, D.C." for "ebiker rights", or something?

L
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by Lock » Sep 03, 2013 12:51 pm

OK... Ebiker joke time (again)!

Anybuddy here NOT remember Eddie Murphy in a "fat suit", in the 2007 American comedy film "Norbit"? Here's the movie trailer on YT:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmSZJ17ppEQ

So the other day, I was having a chuckle with El Presidente, the Meistro (one of them), watt a mariner (Navy guy or grrrl) would call "Number One", for the group the "Toronto Electric Riders Association" (TERA for short, the web site isn't hard to find, and we're about to pass our first 1000 "Members" - doesn't cost anything for access... all ebikers or ebiker-wannabes welcome...)

I suggested I wanted to rent a "fat suit", to ride around on my ebike (trike) on/in...

Because in Toronto at least, (and some towns across the Canadian province of Ontario) our "politicians" (so-called) are passing bylaws in their towns banning and/or restricting the electric bicycle...

Some of us suspect that some are alarmed to see so many ebikes appearing suddenly, many/most of whom believe ebikes do not benefit from pedaling (although the Europeans at least understand pedaling can "smooth out" the wattage "spikes" from startups or hill climbing , and extend range per charge). And at least some of them (ebike riders) believe ebikes offer a "free ride"... Or at least, a free lunch... Hehe...

And one reason maybe that some of these new/novice ebikers are not pedaling is that they appear "obese"... AKA "grossly overweight"... Who is to blame? Some suggest eating too much at MacDonalds, and other "fast food" restos... Others blame the 20th-century horseless carriage, where young folks travel around with their parent/parents, and some of them exit the vehicle as fully-formed young adults... Some maybe TOO "fully formed"...

And it's a "toss up" at least for our American friends, whether they are still winning the "Number One spot" for the fattest population of all time...

Seen here:
http://mdjonline.com/view/full_story/23 ... ght_column

In part:
We’re not No. 1 anymore. Mexico, according to the U.N. Food and Agricultural Organization, has surpassed the United States as the fattest nation in the world.

An estimated 70 percent of the population is overweight, and about one-third of Mexicans are obese. Just one fat-related disease, diabetes, accounts for almost 70,000 Mexican deaths per year.
So in my neighbourhood, many are buying the cheapest "scooter-style" ebikes they can (mostly bad "Vespa" scooter clones/copies). So my thought was to ride around town in a "fat suit", watt some might mistake as being "Jolly Old Saint Nick", except this is the wrong time of year for him/costume rentals...

So some might be younger, with "athletic" physiques, or "Lance Armstrong"-wannabes, but some really do have some walking disability, and they may not find this joke funny at all...

Hehe...

L
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by Lock » Sep 04, 2013 3:52 pm

OK... Sorta a "in" joke for ebikers...maybe... NOT to be shared with any non-motorized bicyclists please?

I sorta refer to many of the "Lance Armstrong"-wannabes etc types that pass me (or try to) as the "bucket brigade"... Because many of them appear (to me) to be wearing a plastic ice bucket on their heads... Me, OTOH, did pick up one of those "funky" (?) bicycling helmets designed by our Norwegian friends... Made for the "Yakkay" Company... Very like one of these:
http://shebicycles.files.wordpress.com/ ... t-crop.jpg

So apologies to any ebikers here that also ride "bucket-style"... Obviously you have already entered a whole different class...

L
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by Lock » Sep 04, 2013 5:43 pm

Well, I'm jealous... Watching beautiful young "things" (wymen) stopping to pet a young pup on the sidewalk... Usually folks just say "Nice bike" (when I KNOW it's a tricycle) when they (or I) am passing by... Well, I WOULD show ya (here on ES) pics of some of those pretty young things drapped over my trike, but unfortunately I can't...

Please, nobuddy here "eat yer hearts out"? I am sure some of you here (on ES) suffer from the same "malady"...

Hehe...

L
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by Lock » Sep 04, 2013 10:19 pm

OK... Not a joke exactly... but a "PSA" ("public service announcement") promoting the electric bicycle... Just one scene, a "one act play" if you will... For broadcasting on PBS, wattEVer...

The opening:

A mum or dad etc pedaling watt some of us might consider an "antique" (a bike without electric power-assist), very young boy or grrrl in the back "bike seat"... The bike is being followed (paced) by some old guy on a pedal-assist tricycle. He's kinda lame (doesn't pedal very well), with a broken right or left arm hanging at his side... (OK, that's me currently, but a pro actor could play this part...). The tricycle has a front and rear basket, (a big one in the back), and that back basket has some stuff in it, plus rattles along... (Hey! That's me again... This is getting weird...). Anyway, the "action":

Young boy or grrrl says to parent/wattEVer in front:

"Mommy! Mommy! (or wattEVer) Why is that old man following us?"

And "mommie" replies:

"Pedal faster kid"...

And the child replies:

"But Mommie (whomEVer), you are already grunting and puffing? Besides, my seat doesn't have pedals?"

Mum:
"Gotta get THAT (situation) fixed..."

Child:
"Why does that man (his tricycle) have a big comfy seat with a back rest? It's bigger than yours (your bicycle seat, I mean)!"

Mum:
"Shutup kid"...

Kiddo:
"Mummie? Why is he still following us? Why isn't he pedaling?"

Mum:
"I bet it is that darned electric guy..."

Kiddo:
"Mummy! He's passing us! I'm scared!

Mum:
"It's your Dads/Mums job at the (insert here the name of a car manufacturer, car repair shop, etc, etc) I'm really worried about"...

Closing credit:
This public service message brought to you by your friends at the Endless Sphere (or friends at the Toronto Electric Riders Association, etc... Could be modified to suit the target market...)

Now, maybe just need some ebike sellers to chip in, to pay for this PSA...

But you folks on ES think the ad is maybe a "winner"? Or at least could be mildly amusing, with some work?

L
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by Lock » Sep 05, 2013 4:23 pm

OK... Watt an ebiker maybe says to a motorcyclist (burning gasoline, maybe diseasal), when they pull up, or the ebiker is passing them:
"Ohhhh! I love antiques!"

And if they are riding one of those noisy little 50cc etc motorcycles:
"Does it convert into a chain saw (or a "weed eater"?) too?"

Remember, the crafty ebiker nEVer wants to anger another rider... Just leave them to wander off (or ride away) confused...

L
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by John in CR » Sep 05, 2013 4:49 pm

I really like your idea of referring to all of them as antiques, both gassers and pedal only bikes. I'm definitely going to use that.

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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by Lock » Sep 05, 2013 4:53 pm

Yeah John! Say, I thought Little Exuma in the Bahamas was "paradise"? :)

Anyway...

OK... Ya can try this at home, but maybe better on the road somewhere...

In my town, it seems I may be riding some sort of "alien" technology... Chances are many folks nEVer took that awkward stuff called "physics" or "chemistry" in school? And recent reports about the literacy rate in North American countries are "not encouraging", shall we say...

So when I am "in motion" (riding my ebike/trike) sometimes some passersby want to ask questions... (Stuff like "Oh, it doesn't have a tailpipe?", wattEVer...). But much of the time I can't stop (gotta be somewhere, or they appear like they may need waaay too much education), and my quick "brush off" is just to say "I'm French", and ride away... And they maybe exchange knowing looks with their companion... It helps to have a "foreign" looking helmet on (see earlier comments or elsewhere here about my Yakkay helmet...)...

L

PS... Memo to self: Must remember to pick up a pack of Gauloises cigarettes to hold one between my fingers... And pick up a yellow marker, to paint some of my fingers yellowy, to help complete the disguise...
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by Lock » Sep 06, 2013 8:21 am

Call this "The Campaign to Rename Coxwell"...

Currently I am esconsced beside a city road named "Coxwell Avenue" (in Toronto, ON)...

When I was younger (much younger) I got to visit the Guggenheim Museun in NYC... Just across the street from "Central Park", and just a coupla blocks away from Park Avenue...

Well, Toronto has one street named "Park", but it is just a "street", and not an "avenue"...

The Coxwell "avenue" I am getting to know and love (not really) is a north/south road near downtown Toronto...

At the foot of Coxwell though are "funky" things, like "Woodbine Park", and a "skate park", and "Ashbridges Bay" (a bay on the shore of Lake Ontario), and "park lands", including the "Martin Goodman Trail" (pleasant for walking and cycling along the Lake, but ebikes are "verbotten"/not welcome, according to a Toronto city bylaw)...

One "problem" with Coxwell (as far as I am concerned) is that the road is functionally a "park"... Where cars are parked/literally for some parts of some days, and routinely, sections of the road are "parked bumper to bumper" with cars, basically "crawling", sometimes north-bound, sometimes south-bound, depending on the time of the day, the day of the week, events happening by the water/lake or downtown, etc...

So the thought was (would somebuddy here *please* stop saying "oh oh"?) was to set up a web site/campaign to rename "Coxwell Avenue" to Coxwell Park Avenue"...

After all, NYC has that lovely (and spendy/pricey) Park Ave, why not Toronto? Hehe...

Our Mayor in Toronto would *hate* the idea, if/when he discovers the truth of this campaign... So please nobuddy on ES breath a word?

I thought maybe "Ebiker Jokes" was as good a thread on ES as any to put this idea...

Is anybuddy here on ES NOT having a chuckle?

L
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by Lock » Sep 07, 2013 9:25 am

Current ad on Canadian cigarettes:
kids.jpg
kids.jpg (100.09 KiB) Viewed 9587 times
Unfortunately, the "caption" fails to mention whether they are referring to tobacco, or gasoline... And EVen us seniors get to "enjoy" the "second-hand smoke" of some others... Well, at least some gasoline-powered car occupants get to wave and smile as they drive by... Maybe wondering why some of us are covering out faces (nose and mouth)...

Hehe... Sorry if my "humour" is a bit "off colour" for some here... At least I tried to pick one of their more brightly coloured images?

:lol:
L
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by Lock » Sep 08, 2013 8:06 pm

Ad stolen from here:
http://billybishopfacts.ca/images/ad_5.jpg
BillyBishop.jpg
BillyBishop.jpg (170.32 KiB) Viewed 9565 times
Similar ebike ad:
MYTH:
The Ebikes are a Major Source of noise on the waterfront.

FACT:
We're WAY quieter than local Car Traffic.
:)

L
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by Eskimo » Sep 09, 2013 2:20 am

Slightly worn bike path. About 20km from my home.
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by Lock » Sep 09, 2013 3:23 am

Hehe... "...slightly worn..." Here in Toronto/southern Ontario we got whole roads that are "slightly worn" from car/truck traffic...

Say "Eskimo"? Shouldn't that be "transplanted Eskimo" or something? Theoretically ya should be Sami, no? Well heck, I suppose near all of us in North America are sorta "recent transplants"... Euro "mongrel" myself... (maybe víkingr, by way of Scotland, then northern Ireland... So... Seen any good longboats lately? (Hehe... Sorry, couldn't resist... Sorta a "boat addict" myself... ) Just FYI, my name actually IS "Lock"... Short for "Laughlin", meaning "one who dwells at the fjord-land". This was the Irish term for invaders from Scandinavia."

Fair winds and following seas... (A landlubber might just say "Cheers")

L
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by Eskimo » Sep 09, 2013 4:54 am

Lock wrote:
Say "Eskimo"? Shouldn't that be "transplanted Eskimo" or something? Theoretically ya should be Sami, no? Well heck, I suppose near all of us in North America are sorta "recent transplants"... Euro "mongrel" myself... (maybe víkingr, by way of Scotland, then northern Ireland... So... Seen any good longboats lately? (Hehe... Sorry, couldn't resist... Sorta a "boat addict" myself... ) Just FYI, my name actually IS "Lock"... Short for "Laughlin", meaning "one who dwells at the fjord-land". This was the Irish term for invaders from Scandinavia."
L
Not Sami, no. Thanks for asking. I dig Samis though, they are our natives here. They have their own language, which is sound-wise pretty close to language of american natives.
That nick is just a joke basically, commenting our climate, and north-south location, which is same as Nunavut.
Many here have mixed blood too. Sami, Russia, Germany, Sweden, Estonia. Me too.
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by Lock » Sep 09, 2013 7:51 am

Oh goody, a joke... Hehe... Here's another one...

Perhaps DC Comics prophesied the ebike, when they released "Number One" in 1986/1987...
ElectricWarrior.JPG
ElectricWarrior.JPG (24.06 KiB) Viewed 9505 times
Per Wikipedia:
The series in set in a future where the rich live in luxury, their lifestyles supported by an array of cybernetic devices and robots, while the poor are forced to struggle for their existence in the lower levels of the city. When one of the robot guards, known as the Electric Warriors, develops self-awareness, it begins to question the correctness of the social order.
:)

L
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by Lock » Sep 09, 2013 8:26 am

Today, in towns around Ontario, some folks believe the ebike is their salvation... "Look Ma! I don't have to pedal!"
Fat_ebiker.JPG
Fat_ebiker.JPG (48.49 KiB) Viewed 9504 times
... and they are NOT grossly obese... they are "pleasantly rotund"...

L
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by Lock » Sep 09, 2013 11:46 am

Ad from the past:
Reddy.JPG
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Ad today for electric bicycles:
Ride Electrically
And enjoy the difference!
- Says Reddy Kilowatt...
(Your electric servant.)
Hi Reddy!
L
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by Lock » Sep 09, 2013 12:22 pm

When Frenchman Albert Joseph Penot (1862-1930) painted this "risque" painting of bicycle racers, perhaps he was pre-nascent... He maybe saw the day when many folks rode in their gasoline powered horseless carriages, creaping along, bumper-to-bumper, on their way to work, etc...
Butt_sniffers.JPG
Butt_sniffers.JPG (26.56 KiB) Viewed 9493 times
They may be "protected" by their wind screens, but occasionally might "crack" their side windows... or roll them down, to "enjoy" watt used to be called "fresh air"... "Sucking up" (breathing) the exhaust of the car/truck in front of them, and/or all around them... But ebikers can laugh at them, thinking of them just as "butt sniffers"...

L
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Lock
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by Lock » Sep 09, 2013 1:21 pm

Adam Beck was a huge "ebike booster"... or would have been, had he been alive today (maybe file this image under "Gods on the ebike"...).
Adam_Beck.JPG
Adam_Beck.JPG (55.07 KiB) Viewed 9489 times
Adam lived in Ontario, from 1857 to 1925, and is largely responsible for watt is still termed euphamistilly today "hydro" in Ontario (he orchastrated many hydro-electric dams in Ontario, including some little thing stretched across the Niagara River...). Today he would be "rolling over in his grave" to know "hydro"/electricity in Ontario is currently maybe more than 60%, and Ontario "Hydro" says "There is currently no economical way to store large quantities of electricity for later use...". Oh really?

Maybe one day somebuddy will invent a thing called a "water tower", or learn how to pump water up hill...

Anywaaay... Current Ontario energy(electricity) "demand"/consumption, here:
http://www.ieso.ca/imoweb/siteshared/we ... asp?sid=ic

Some maybe suggest Adam was just about money, but he did like to race horses... Oddly, horses don't seem to run on electricity...

One day, maybe some Ontario ebikers might like to visit the statue of Adam Beck, and raise a toast to him... He meant well, anyway...

L
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