Buying forest land, implementing solar

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Re: Buying forest land, implementing solar

Postby swbluto » Sat Aug 12, 2017 9:34 pm

Dauntless wrote:
swbluto wrote:I suspect there's a good chance she was a former junior in highschool and her services were terminated probably not long after that situation.


A former junior in high school could mean your mother, unless she never went to her junior year. So I guess this departure from her job means she's on to you. Perhaps they're ALL on to you. Might you be delaying the parking of your trailer until you get her buried there? I mean, it would EXPLAIN both the fact the trailer never gets parked and the desperation of your search by way of needing to get it parked.


:?

lol.
y
I pretty much confirmed I can't find her, so she's definitely yesterday's news. And, her reaction to my leaving was not exactly... one where she was "on to me", lol.

But... you know what... I did write an article that could've possibly made it's way back to the store, and it's quite possible she could've left very soon after. So, yes, that's actually not a bad possibility. I probably should have first confirmed her employment there before writing that article, lol.

And, yes, the writing of the article was kind of disturbing actually (But at that point, I was like "Whatever", kind of gave up hope I would ever see her again.), so I can easily see the alarm it could set off in some people to take action. The question is if she could've been identified because I only knew her hair color.

I sure hope I didn't come off as a predator, but I could easily see it being taken that way.

Anyway, the idea she has seen my article though... that feels like a satisfying outcome because at least I made contact with her, even if I'll never know about it. If she chooses not to respond, that's ultimately her choice, though it'd be nice if I knew that she has seen it [the only thing I can confirm is she's seen and hasn't responded or she hasn't seen at all]. Even if my anonymous self might be thought of as "possible sex offender" in some people, it's not really tied to my identity so I have no worries. And, I'm not seeking to break laws or anything, I just wanted to see her again because it'd been a longtime since we were both happy about how it ended and I feel she was hoping to see me again soon after but then I wasn't, so I kind of felt like I had a duty to make a satisfying attempt to reach her again. Even today, I didn't feel like I was particularly motivated to see her again... I haven't felt motivated for some time actually... I just felt like I had to reach a firm conclusion to end the case and "move on".

Anyway... that's just a possibility... I wouldn't say it's a strong possibility... but it's a possibility. If it's true, no skin off my nose, I resigned making HEB my goto grocery store at this point [too far away].

Now if they were onto this thread... oh.... that'd be effin creepy, lol. And I'd be wondering who "they" were, lol. Even though I don't believe I have a reason to be scared, oh I'd be scared, lol.

And, I find it very curious the topic of dead bodies are being brought up. Not sure where that's coming from. Because, I know I don't have that intent, but somehow it sometimes gets foisted onto me by certain people for no particularly good reason. And you seem to be one of them. The people back in restriction, I'm pretty sure, were trying to get a reaction out of me... but I don't know if that's your intent here.

And that patrol car that drove by about a week ago... hmmm...

The timing with my article is kind of suspicious.

Hmmmm... this is getting sketchy... I hope I'm not being too paranoid here, lol.

Regardless, I know the law and I don't intend on breaking it, so I have nothing to worry about... I HOPE, lol.
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Re: Buying forest land, implementing solar

Postby swbluto » Sat Aug 12, 2017 10:46 pm

BPD girls are easy girls... eh. I wouldn't mind me some BPD girls, lol, especially if they're the seductive kind.

But I am /assuming/ said girls were like this girl, which might not be the case at all.

But... I don't know if BPD girls have loyalty. I kind of got the sense this girl didn't really possess loyalty.
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Re: Buying forest land, implementing solar

Postby swbluto » Sun Aug 13, 2017 12:01 am

She was gone before I wrote the article, so, not likely responsible. I just really wonder why. Frustrating having so many questions I know will likely never get answered, lol.

I guess I could start asking around the HEB staff. There is someone who works there I "know" who worked at the same time she did. But... oh... I'm not sure if I want to poke around too much, lol, if in the event it's a "sensitive matter" where "compromising my identity" might be a really bad idea, lol.

It's interesting, there was another girl working there with her who is also gone. I think I might surmise that the HEB turnover rate is just incredibly high and I shouldn't read too much into it. Here today gone tomorrow. Now I'm starting to wonder if I should've asked for a phone number... I just didn't feel like it though... it's not that I didn't have balls (I obviously had plenty of balls doing what I had already done)... I just didn't feel like I would want to contact her later, but I didn't anticipate how the memory would grow onto me so pervasively like two weeks later, lol.

I've noticed that my memory of her and the situation seems to highlight the positives and suppress the negatives. Like, negatives being like how weird she came off at times... it's like something I don't even think about now in recalling it, but it was definitely there at the time. I guess I look at memories with rose-colored glasses, just like I look at lots of things with rose-colored glasses, lol.

I'm just really starting to wonder why it seems to be that way.

"Big city"
"Spread out"

Combination of the two?
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Re: Buying forest land, implementing solar

Postby Dauntless » Sun Aug 13, 2017 12:27 am

Maybe this will do the trick.

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Re: Buying forest land, implementing solar

Postby swbluto » Sun Aug 13, 2017 6:29 am

Not sure where the ASMR with Ashley Graham comes in at, but we seem to have a pretty similar facial structure and the look she has when she looks into the camera looks a lot like mine. Just thought it curious. That's really irrelevant in certain matters.

http://flawlessgene.com/101-unfair-adva ... ttractive/

In court, Good-looking criminals receive more favorable sentences and have lower fines imposed on them.


Hmmm. This is curious.

I never really had this impression I "Looked attractive" before.

And reading through the list, I still don't have that impression, lol.
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Re: Buying forest land, implementing solar

Postby swbluto » Sun Aug 13, 2017 10:02 am

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/physical-m ... -wife.html

Now, this might be an outliar, but an interesting story nonetheless.

I can't quit loving my BPD wife

So we drive around the corner and park. She proceeds to pull down her blouse ( DD's) and start grabbing my crotch. I tell her that's not what I want... I want a LTR, not sex on the first date in my truck.

Fast forward, a month in and I am so infatuated I can't see straight. We are at the watering hole and she tell me about 10 months ago 20 or so people from her work rented a mansion at Rocky Point for a week and the trip is in 2 weeks. Tells me she want me to come along. I tell her I can't, didn't put in vacation time and didn't have any money saved for it (house poor). She says she'll pay for it. I said I am not going to Mexico with no cash to meet your coworkers at Pat's new 'bum' boyfriend.

FIRST RED FLAG ( I didn't see): If you don't go we are through. WHAT? We break up because I didn't plan for a trip I didn't know anything about?

We don't talk for a couple days. I call her and she finally see's my point of view. She goes on her trip and we miss each other emensely.

We start having the most intense sex at around week 6.


Oh yes, this girl was lascivious just like this girl appeared to be, and the fantasies were pretty damn intense, lol. So, I'm thinking there's something to these BPD girls... desperate for your love... stretching to get it as quickly as they can... just the intensity of her person... not hard to imagine parallels with this story. Definitely nothing vanilla about it.

What I've previously described as "A bitch in heat". I'm starting to think that's just her personality.

So that intense sense of longing in that instantaneous reaction after meeting my stare was definitely because she was desperately looking for love. Just like Sia.

And no doubt had she might've been unloved in her life due to her weirdness, thus compelling the never-ending desperate search for it.

I suspect the lack of trust, impulsivity and never-ending search for love might lead to promiscuity in certain persons.

Anyway, in other news, I can confirm that girls don't like penny pinchers, lol. They like guys who are 'generous' with their money, more likely to share.

Anyway, I suspect that HEB might have been affected by the slow late July sales, because I noticed the staffing seemed sclerotic compared to what I last remembered on July 1st when I met her. So, she might have been, along with others, laid off. With HEB's cutthroat pricing, they appear to operate on thin margins, so they likely have to be careful with the staffing costs. And she likely would've been the first to be laid off... she might have been among the youngest[I don't really know]... she might've still lived with her parents[I don't really know]...

I noticed HEB did away with their organic bananas, too. So did Krogers. Where am I going to get organic bananas? I think I'm going to try walmart the next time.

It's hard to believe organic banana farms just disappeared overnight.

And, with my tight-fitting holes which makes handmixing the concrete in place very difficult, I need another method of mixing concrete, I need the standard method or preparing it before pouring.



Wheelbarrow. Check.
Water. Check.
2 Cup measuring tool. Check.
Shovel. Check

I need half a gallon of water or 8 cups per 60 lbs. of concrete.

Now how will I clean up the concrete from the barrow when complete? Need to clean it in a timely manner I think.

Using gloves, scoop it all out by hand. Use damp rag for the rest of the concrete residue.

And, I need to prepare multiple posts ahead of time, just in case my one bag can fill multiple holes. So, I'll need to do post setup for multiple posts as the next step. Will need multiple 2x4s, might need to cut my existing ones up. I'm thinking I'll need six 2x4s, of lengths between 2 to 3 feet each.

For securing the braces, I think I might try hammering it into the ground, or I might just put sand bags on it. Only have enough sand bags for 4 braces, so 2 posts.

And apparently you use pipe wrenches to remove pipes and fittings. Never knew.

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Re: Buying forest land, implementing solar

Postby nicobie » Sun Aug 13, 2017 1:36 pm

If you are using regular concrete you need a hoe to mix it up in the wheelbarrow.

I'd use the smaller bags of post hole cement and mix the water in when the cement is already in the hole.
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May your tote always stay tight and your edge eversharp :wink:

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Re: Buying forest land, implementing solar

Postby swbluto » Sun Aug 13, 2017 3:57 pm

nicobie wrote:If you are using regular concrete you need a hoe to mix it up in the wheelbarrow.

I'd use the smaller bags of post hole cement and mix the water in when the cement is already in the hole.


Thanks for informing me, I see a bunch of videos online confirm this need for a "not-so-wide flat implement" (Hoe, spade shovel, etc.). I picked up a really sturdy spatula in place of the hoe that was presumably sold out along with a bunch of other gardening equipment.
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Re: Buying forest land, implementing solar

Postby swbluto » Sun Aug 13, 2017 4:13 pm

http://www.anewmode.com/topic/what-caus ... le/page/3/

Value in making your sexual intentions known fast as demonstrated in this story.

When I look back to how it all transpired I honestly can’t say that I ever saw it coming. This sweet young man with the wry smile, twinkling eye and twirled mustache tapped my shoulder and it was a shock to see him standing there like something I HAD to learn. The rest of the room faded away and I lost all ability to rationalize anything and felt overwhelmingly compelled to respond. I heard him. His intentions were instant and intense and immediate and urgent. And boyish. And charming. And dangerous. And I succumbed without any fight. He took me to a place of passion and intensity like a drug addict to a junkie. So…I gave in.


Instant, intense and immediate. Wow, just like my advance on her and she succumbed and overwhelmed so quickly likewise. And she really did want to f me by the end of the encounter, thrusting her pelvis upwards while making that huffing sound. She was definitely 'turned on' by that like a light switch. (Which, seems so conflicting you hear in all these player handbooks... she's like a tea kettle, slow to boil. No, that was not slow at all, that was pretty instantaneous. And I have a strong feeling that's precisely how men are supposed to work; you feel that connection, you just go for it as passion drives you, blitzkrieg her and her defenses immediately surrender. Women surrender to passion.)

Interesting noting the drug addict to a junkie metaphor she uses, with the morphine withdrawal symptoms I noted and all that. Only when morphine was returned, did the violent convulsions stop and the passionate warmth return. (And then soon after, she turned into a weird little girl. A rather charming weird little girl, actually, lol. When I say "weird", it's just the way she sounded, but I can tell it was an "immensely happy/excited" kind of tone reenacting the tone. And I too was immensely happy for a few days. I don't really want to say we were unofficially bf/gf, but it definitely felt like it, and I don't want to assume we were in love, but... again... it felt like it, lol.)

If the story were to have developed fully, 'passion' would definitely have been the ambiance. (I mean, it already was.)

It's funny too, her putting me down and me thinking "F you" is what instantly drove my pursuit of her. It wasn't like I saw her and knew exactly she was the person I wanted... it's only when she got angry when passion flared. (Though, I thought she reminded me of myself when I saw her laughing, and I suspected she was like me, but it was just a suspicion at that point. When 'the feeling' crescendo'd throughout, I knew my suspicion was likely not far off the mark.]

Anyway, in other news, it looks like sales are slowing down again. I hope this isn't a longterm trend, but I feel somewhat better prepared now with at least a little savings to draw off of and a fence ready to be installed. Start work today at 5:30 p.m.; hope to install 2 posts out of 6.

I'm of the opinion now to delay durable goods purchases as long as possible. And, I've practically eliminated going out to eat. My going out to eat is ordering a fuji apple and some cheddar cheese when I go grocery shopping, lol.

For example, I was tempted to buy pipe wrenches today. But did I? Nope, I'll buy it when I /really/ need it; the longer I delay a purchase, the better chance I'll be in a better financial position to afford the purchase.

Update: By 7:33 p.m., done with first two of six fence posts, waiting for concrete to dry. One 60lb bag could fill 1.5x 6.5" holes that were dug 3 feet down. The fence posts look satisfyingly high. No way someone could look in by standing there assuming a blocked out front fence. I'm thinking about that though... maybe someone would be less emboldened if it weren't hidden. And not hiding would be cheaper. The intended housing structure should be naturally hidden, and I just need to improve the blocking of the backyard (Should b easy once I get the back fence up), and escaping to the backyard undetected (If need be) should be possible.
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Re: Buying forest land, implementing solar

Postby Dauntless » Sun Aug 13, 2017 10:32 pm

Good gwad, this Ashley Brewer on the post game show for the Chargers. So polished, so polite, so dignified while gorgeous. That is what's driving me nuts about her. Pardon me if I have NO understanding of you trying to read the tawdriest things into nothing for your own tittlation.

Okay, the woman writing that story wasn't writing about you. That's just your imagination. It might also be her imagination, sounds like just another wild internet tale.

ASMR, meanwhile, is just an overblown theory regarding the fact that people respond better to you when you're nice to them, sticking to things that don't create sensory overload, etc. I don't see how the tale of the BPM woman makes some real point.

As for you mixing concrete in your overly tight holes.
.
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Re: Buying forest land, implementing solar

Postby swbluto » Sun Aug 13, 2017 11:02 pm

Dauntless wrote:Okay, the woman writing that story wasn't writing about you. That's just your imagination. It might also be her imagination, sounds like just another wild internet tale.


It's a man writing about his BPD wife and, no, I didn't think he was writing about me or the girl I knew. I was just drawing parallels. Granted, it's hard to say if our situations are comparable enough to draw accurate parallels, but they seem similar enough assuming his wife really had BPD. (Given all the other horror stories I'm reading about BPD women in relationships, I'm wondering if she was mislabeled...)

If I actually thought these random people were talking about me, that would be an indicator of paranoid schizophrenia or similar. But.... no....

I probably just misworded a sentence.
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Re: Buying forest land, implementing solar

Postby swbluto » Sun Aug 13, 2017 11:13 pm

Dauntless wrote:Good gwad, this Ashley Brewer on the post game show for the Chargers. So polished, so polite, so dignified while gorgeous. That is what's driving me nuts about her. Pardon me if I have NO understanding of you trying to read the tawdriest things into nothing for your own tittlation.


Oh, sorry for not sharing the same perspective/tastes in woman. She looks ... like a beautiful celebrity I guess... so that's all about I can say about her. Anyway, I don't expect I would share the same tastes in woman as random other guys.

Talking about my tastes... that slovenly dressed girl back in Grapevine Mills in Dallas. She gravitated towards me and I certainly noticed, if I were staying there, I would've certainly been forward with getting to know her. Just that messy haired girl that looks like she just doesn't give a /f/, I think she might be kind of easy, and ohhh.... walking so sensually as she was.... like a lazy cat. I can just imagine making out with her.

This recent girl had frizzy hair. I couldn't tell if it was "Doesn't treat hair" kind of hair, or a look she was specifically going for. Seems like almost all girls in this area have straight hair, with the frizzy inducing affects of humidity, I suspect many of them use lots of hair control products to get that straight look. Hmmm... maybe this girl didn't have hair control products, like someone couldn't afford it. That's not actually a bad suspicion about her or her family. And if she were a poor girl, she may have been specifically looking for someone to support her (i.e., sugar daddy)... and she might have found one...

Among Hollywood celebrities, Kristin Stewart is up there in my book. As far as "Driving me nuts" persons.

Image

And there she is rocking that messy hair look. I swear.... I'm not attracted to messy hair... but all the girls I seem to adore seem to rock it. [I take that back; the messy hair definitely helps make her seem so kissable, lol, at least I think]

ASMR, meanwhile, is just an overblown theory regarding the fact that people respond better to you when you're nice to them, sticking to things that don't create sensory overload, etc. I don't see how the tale of the BPM woman makes some real point.


Interesting. I don't think that really applies to emotionally overwhelming women. They respond better than when they're being underwhelmed ("Being nice to them"), that's for sure. Granted, in real life, a mix of the two seems likely ideal... overwhelming at times... "nice" other times. I'd think it's pretty much impossible to always overwhelm them, so that really shouldn't be a concern, that is, "overwhelming them too much".

So in conclusion, if you know how to manipulate those heart strings, go ahead and pluck 'em. Girls will f'in love you.
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Re: Buying forest land, implementing solar

Postby marty » Mon Aug 14, 2017 12:28 am

Marty's time saver post in concrete method. Please note that this is the WRONG way to do this. The way that things are supposed to be done is not always the same as the way that people do things. That is why the World Trade Center fell down.

Put post in hole. Get it level. Use brace if needed. Pour concrete into hole. No water. Water from the ground will make concrete hard. This works and I have tested this method.
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Re: Buying forest land, implementing solar

Postby swbluto » Mon Aug 14, 2017 12:51 am

So relevant...

Image

http://www.thewhiskeyjournal.com/eye-fu ... ye-regret/

AUSTIN, TX – Through a series of brief glances at Jake’s Jivehole Lounge last Friday, Tim Shirk and Tina Tumm lived a lifetime in a single night, according to friends who witnessed the scene.

Their relationship started with a simple eye frock, after Shirk, upon entering the bar, locked into an X-rated stare with Tumm. The pair then engaged in a “wild corneal hump,” said a weak-stomached onlooker.

But the night didn’t end with an act of eye love. The couple quickly transitioned to an affectionate eye cuddle, as their glance lingered for “what felt like a lifetime,” said the visibly shaken source.

Seconds later, Tumm, who claims to “never eye frock without lens protection,” gave birth to eye children. Shirk first denied eye frocking Tumm, then claimed the eye kids belonged to someone else.

Sources say Tumm and Shirk eventually fell out of eye touch, as Tumm spent most of the evening cradling a vodka tonic, while Shirk pretended to play shuffleboard, eyes cast to the sawdust floor.

The night ended with a final look of regret, as the couple wondered how things might have been if they’d made a different decision at the start of the night.


Did this really happen and they had children? JUST WONDERING because I COULD SEE IT HAPPENING! lol. (I know the story is fictional... but... I just wonder if it was "inspired by a true story")

I swear, I /cannot/ find a male performing a passionate eye frock anywhere on the internet (Google images). I wonder... do I need to create an image so that the world actually knows what this thing looks like in males? lol.
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Re: Buying forest land, implementing solar

Postby swbluto » Mon Aug 14, 2017 2:09 am

Another mindless drivel post: Did not see a post potentially belonging to her on the local craigslist, apparently she's not looking for me. I can't imagine where else someone might focus their trying-to-find efforts if they ever thought of it. But, I'm well aware, that not everyone thinks of craigslist either, so there's no guarantee she hasn't been looking or at a minimum thinking about it. I just want to know what happened to her, the mystery is driving me insane. I'd be quite satisfied with "She's been fired". Or "She quit shortly after meeting some guy in her line."; I'm just so curious because she seemed to be searching and I don't know what/who she was searching for, and I have guesses... but just guesses.
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Re: Buying forest land, implementing solar

Postby Dauntless » Mon Aug 14, 2017 2:29 am

swbluto wrote:Another mindless drivel post:


Now even YOU are picking on yourself?

Okay, I'll tell you what. That singer Tove Lo. Good looking, right? On the one had this going topless onstage thing, I don't really have a problem with it. On the other hand I wonder if it's a crass commercialism thing to make herself a star. She just keeps doing it, suggesting it started in her teens when she was insecure and she would seek approval. (I'm sure she got it.) But I'm not sure it's not just her knowing how to create a sensation and she knows she'll bet positive feedback on her looks. I just think it's about her having a problem, underneath it all. It'll come back to haunt her. Possibly real soon.

swbluto wrote:
Dauntless wrote:Okay, the woman writing that story wasn't writing about you. That's just your imagination. It might also be her imagination, sounds like just another wild internet tale.


It's a man writing about his BPD wife and, no, I didn't think he was writing about me or the girl I knew. . . .

I probably just misworded a sentence.

When I look back to how it all transpired I honestly can’t say that I ever saw it coming. This sweet young man with the wry smile, twinkling eye and twirled mustache tapped my shoulder and it was a shock to see him standing there like something I HAD to learn. The rest of the room faded away and I lost all ability to rationalize anything and felt overwhelmingly compelled to respond. I heard him. His intentions were instant and intense and immediate and urgent. And boyish. And charming. And dangerous. And I succumbed without any fight. He took me to a place of passion and intensity like a drug addict to a junkie. So…I gave in.


Instant, intense and immediate. Wow, just like my advance on her and she succumbed and overwhelmed so quickly likewise. And she really did want to f me by the end of the encounter. . . .


More than ONE sentence. It's a woman. But you seem convinced that she'd call you a sweet young man.

Okay, so I can add to the story from Tuesday. I was downtown, walking past storefronts at the sidewalk. As I get there out comes the chunky girl I'm talking about the boyfriend dumping her I assume because she bulked up, I of course say he's a fool to give up such a dream come true personality. She's there with a friend who was there Tuesday as I was typing the post and she, too, didn't know what I was writing. So we're accidentally face to face for a moment of pleasantries, etc. They go one way, I go on the other. But it's crowded, I don't actually go. So the friend suddenly calls something out as though it's to me I guess. The girl swats her solid, the friend just giggles. I don't think I was intended to hear it, I was supposed to keep walking and be farther away, right? Now, I could imagine you writing several 1,000+ words of postings on that, as though I'm supposed to read into that the friend is telling me that the girl wants me to behave as badly as you dream of behaving. More likely it was one of those jokes about the friend prodding the WRONG guy so the girl is like 'Thanks a lot, I should do something for YOU sometime.' Not painful to look at, but hardly beautiful, she's content anyway.

So I went on walking past the bar/restaurant where the OTHER woman from the post worked, she's actually sitting along the fence of the raised patio along the walkway looking out over my head and not noticing me. Looking unhinged, as always. Walking on I see a guy I know trying too hard to talk to the girl at the corner trying to tout some specific bar to the passersby. So he's obviously not impressed by his efforts, but he's had a few there and not picking up on cues. Coming back I walk past the woman still sitting up there but another woman has joined her and this is one stressed out conversation. I just think such a face, such duress. Rather in conflict about what you're saying about beautiful people, in the time I've known her she's always been unhappy. Just as the touter at the corner was unhappy that she had the guy that just HAD to talk to her. But I caught up with him and said he could go back and talk to this other one (I'd already told him the story) but he didn't want to take me up on that. . . .

Oh, that flawless gene link was bull. First of all, the more favorable treatment thing allies to things like if there's an assault charge they're considered less threatening, sometimes more readily believed when they say they didn't do it or they're 'Sorry.' But anything involving a congame or taking advantage of someone they get it worse than someone not so attractive. That's the full story. I could pick apart quite a few of those reasons but it's not worth the trouble.

So you might remember the show where they guy would say "I'm Larry, this is my brother Daryll, this is my OTHER brother Daryll. . . ." When that show started they weren't regulars, they worked for a regular. Their boss had an obsession with mixing with the 'Beautiful People,' saying "They love life because life loves them." Hey, I work with the beautiful people. Just get near Hollywood, you'll really get in touch with just how unattractive you really are. But then you might also have some really beautiful woman who shouldn't notice you're there suddenly chasing after you. Because you're the one that DIDN'T hit on her.

Have you ever heard of women disfiguring themselves just to get people to leave them alone? How about communicating on a board like this one and then fearing to meet anyone for fear of the reaction when they see this really IS quite a fantasy woman? There is so much reality that doesn't suit the fantasy of that little article. So much I could go on about that I've witnessed. Just because their problems seem surreal to the rest of us make them no less real to the one experiencing them.

Among Hollywood celebrities, Kristin Stewart is up there in my book. As far as "Driving me nuts" persons.


Short a trip as that is, she's sworn off men and is supposedly marrying a woman, I guess she'll only drive you to the nearest main street to get rid of you.

Image
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Re: Buying forest land, implementing solar

Postby swbluto » Mon Aug 14, 2017 7:40 am

Recent CL ad.

I was at the light and you caught me looking. You looked back again as I did too. Thought we had a moment. Tell me what I was driving and what you were putting gas in, please. You are hot!


Interesting phrase, had a moment.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=a+moment

A silent moment between two people (either gender, hetrosexual, homosexual, or bi-sexual) in which prolonged eye contact is made and initial feelings of attraction are felt. Often referred to simply as a "moment."


Silent and prolonged, eh. I didn't know it was the standard, lol, but I certainly complied with it.

I wonder if it's normal for the "initial feelings of attraction" to include pretty explicit displays of sexual desire, lol.

I'm thinking my prolonged eye contact wasn't "normal" prolonged eye contact; I think it definitely pretty explicitly conveyed "I want your body".

And, oh yes, it was a moment to remember, especially right after when her eyes met mine, that instantaneous unforgettable reaction of "overwhelmed by beauty, tinged by sadness, steeped in longing" like something just immediately swept over her. I'm thinking that's probably the only time I'm going to see that in my life; once in a lifetime.

http://www.badassyoungmen.com/prolonged ... ntact.html

Interesting article on this topic of prolonged eye contact in the role of attraction.

Image

She definitely was wild eyed with desire after that.

https://books.google.com/books?id=oKWaB ... sQ6AEISTAJ

Trembling, left shaken with desire, Stephanie tried to control her breathing as she stared wild-eyed at Damon standing close by in the darkness with...


Making that bitch go crazy for me, lol. [Pushing her away was probably effective in having that effect. But, that was something I felt like doing, not something I calculated.]

Let's have a closer look at that passage where that excerpt comes from:

sweetCurrents.jpg
sweetCurrents.jpg (123.91 KiB) Viewed 248 times


Oh look, an unanticipated rise in intense passion and euphoria immediately preceding her wild-eyed desire for Damon. So Damon's passionate "wanted her fiercely" kiss was essentially identical in effect to my impassioned and unrelenting "I want you so bad" stare (Especially with the "Sweet currents of warmth", "feeling weak","euphoria","Intense passion arousing in her"). So inferring 'fear and ecstacy' is probably not far off the mark. The fear might not have even been there, might've just been euphoria.

I think girls might just really get turned on by nothing-holding-you-back impassioned instances of "being wanted so bad". (And so far, kissing and staring are methods known to work. In the right context, staring immediately leading to kissing is not hard to imagine.)
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Re: Buying forest land, implementing solar

Postby swbluto » Mon Aug 14, 2017 10:58 am

Anyway, now 1 month and 14 days past the initial encounter. The depression from missing her seems to be gone this morning (It definitely wasn't late afternoon yesterday), so looking good in that regard. I still look fondly back on that moment, but I'm not /as/ emotionally chained to the memory as I was not too long ago. My drive seems to be back, and the positive effects of that encounter still seem to persist, so yes... I can say I appreciate the dividends of my having made that move even if circumstance intervened and burning questions may annoyingly remain unanswered. So, yes, I can say not holding back your urges/compulsions when it comes to love/etc. is definitely something awesome in retrospect. [Granted, I wonder if I was somehow instrumental in her leaving... and maybe she really hates me for it, lol.]

Starting to really like Tegan & Sara's songs recently. This is the one that's currently stuck on repeat in my mind, lol.

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Re: Buying forest land, implementing solar

Postby swbluto » Mon Aug 14, 2017 9:27 pm

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.p ... ove%20gaze

Passionate Love Gaze

A lustful gaze using the visual connection of the eyes. Some say the eyes are the windows to your soul, but they are most definitely the window to your tingling genitalia.
ox - Passionate love gaze STA
sta- catches Ox's passionate love gaze and reciprocates the action.
OX & STA then proceed to do the dirty by ruffling the sheets many times in the span of 4 hours


Lol, I'd say that's where it was heading, lol.

Image

One of the rare images that actually makes reference to this particular kind of gaze, but totally different situation. (I'd be curious where this was happening?)

Image

That being the lustful way? lol.

I just don't see what's wrong with lust. And, many web pages are telling me it's often a wellspring of love. And, given how psychologically identical we seemed to be, I didn't have a hardtime imagining love would've been the eventual outcome if it wasn't already.

I just have a hardtime believing that stare was purely lust. The connection being formed seemed a little too effin' strong for 'lust'

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/em ... difference

Signs of lust:

You're totally focused on a person's looks and body.
You're interested in having sex, but not in having conversations.
You'd rather keep the relationship on a fantasy level, not discuss real feelings.
You want to leave soon after sex rather than cuddling or breakfast the next morning.
You are lovers, but not friends.


Okay, I think that's a huge negative. I wasn't attracted to her looks/body, it was her personality that took time getting to know. The conversation was actually kind of awesome. Cuddling definitely wasn't off the table. Yeah, so I think there was an element of more-than-lust in my advance. Honestly, I don't think I really "lust" that much anymore. Looks/body rarely /seriously/ turns me on like that, definitely not enough by itself to make an impassioned advance.

The conversation did initially flow as if we were closer friends.
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Re: Buying forest land, implementing solar

Postby swbluto » Tue Aug 15, 2017 7:53 am

The Harlem Dancer by Claude Mckay

Applauding youths laughed with young prostitutes
And watched her perfect, half-clothed body sway;
Her voice was like the sound of blended flutes
Blown by black players upon a picnic day.
She sang and danced on gracefully and calm,
The light gauze hanging loose about her form;
To me she seemed a proudly-swaying palm
Grown lovelier for passing through a storm.
Upon her swarthy neck black shiny curls
Luxuriant fell; and tossing coins in praise,
The wine-flushed, bold-eyed boys, and even the girls,
Devoured her shape with eager, passionate gaze;
But looking at her falsely-smiling face,
I knew her self was not in that strange place.


I see, a young prostitute was compelling the drunken boys passionate gaze. It's certainly a good question what kind of girl this was, she didn't seem to be unskilled in the tease department and she was more-than-normal flirting with every man going through that line. And she was pretty straight to the point with the sexual stuff, like she knew exactly what she was doing (And me being "What the hell is that? Looks seductive, lol"; I think she might've been a little scared because I didn't respond to her orgasm suggestion, and she was expecting a response. I really had no idea she was suggesting sex so I didn't think a response was desired... I thought it was some kind of infatuation instinctual reaction of some sort, lol.).

Anyway, it's interesting see all the activism going on at Texas A&M University as I see in the national news, since they're less than 50 miles away from me. It's actually a town (College Station) my neighbor likes going to frequently because "They have everything", but they're just a little bit further away than alternatives (About 10 more miles one way), so I don't normally go there. I wonder if there's something about the town that I'm not fully realizing that I would possibly fall in love with, much like the French Market in New Orleans? Like, a bustling and diverse walkable town square or some such.
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Re: Buying forest land, implementing solar

Postby swbluto » Tue Aug 15, 2017 8:32 am

Link Spam! I like your website however, I do love animals. :lol: (Not in that way, though)
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Re: Buying forest land, implementing solar

Postby swbluto » Tue Aug 15, 2017 9:54 am

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/06 ... tists-man/

Highest levels of homocysteine found in men having sex less than once a month, and lowest levels found in men having it at least twice a week. Homocysteine having a strong relationship to heart disease and vascular risks (stroke,etc.).

This is interesting.

Makes me wonder of oxytocin's and cortisol's relationship with homocysteine? I'm not sure how sexual activity would affect homocysteine levels directly, but I could see it affecting those two factors (or associated receptors & neurochemicals) which may in turn affect homocysteine.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18827476

Serum homocysteine levels correlate positively with cortisol (r = 0.36, p <0.01) and age (r = 0.49, p < 0.001), and negatively with ascorbate (r = -0.30, p < 0.05) and folate (r = -0.31, p < 0.05). A negative correlation between serum levels of cortisol and ascorbate (r = -0.30, p < 0.05) was also observed.


So vitamin C and folate (Abundant in fruits and vegetables) lowers homocysteine and cortisol, interesting. There is already a known strong association between high fruit intake and stroke prevention. A moderate association with high vegetable intake. I suspect there's an interaction between oxytocin->cortisol->homocysteine, possibly explaining the relationship between frequency of sexual activity and homocysteine.

(I guarantee I'm getting more than enough vitamin C and folate with peanut butter and bananas; each banana is 17% vit C, 5% folate, 8% magnesium, each serving of peanut butter is 9% folate and 12% magnesium. With 12 servings of bananas a day and 8 servings of peanut butter a day, I'm getting 204% vitamin C, 142% folate and 192% magnesium, about 100% dv of protein.)

But, I think there might be a direct relationship between oxytocin->homocysteine.

I think there might be a more important neurochemical/receptor associated with sex. Because, hypothetically, bonding could occur without sex, thus oxytocin levels could be high, thus negating homocysteine assuming there's a relationship between the two, suggesting that either there's a particularly strong association between oxytocin and homocysteine with frequent sex (Significantly higher levels of oxytocin) or some other neurochemical / receptors I'm not accounting for.

So, again, I don't see anything wrong with lust.

Update: Finished concreting up the rest of the fence posts this morning. Just have the back gate hole to get going, then cement it, then t-posts (Should take one entire evening), then applying the fencing (Should take another evening) and then the gates (Maybe another evening), then minor security upgrades (Shed, RV), and I should be pretty much good to go.

I don't work during the day because it's way too freaking hot in my bee suit. If I don't wear my bee suit, I get relentlessly attacked by mosquitos and midges.

And, I'm seeing relatively significant weekly improvements in my savings balances with my tight expenditure controls. Yep, so this is good habit to have.

-No going out to eat
-Delay durable good purchases as much as possible (Until strictly necessary)
-Minimize durable goods purchases (Ideally, none)

But after predicting expenses and the expected minimum cash position for the week, I'm not really building savings that fast. Yep, I definitely need to find a full-time work replacement for this income, ideally something in my field. This used to be a fairly profitable business, but it's been trending a little bit too close to living expenses in the last month or so, so I'm not building savings. And, I would need to build savings to afford generators when they go down to make this business viable longterm, so this business is essentially a dead-end with an expected lifespan of another 2-4 months(Until the current generator dies). If I were hooked to the grid, it wouldn't necessarily be a dead end because I would have scalable cost-effective power thus boosting profits and not limiting expansion capabilities. I just totally did not expect a generator with a 2 year commercial warranty to die in 6 months. On the bright side, I may find a more positive future finding work here. Though hard to anticipate all the benefits, maybe there'll be more personal, professional, financial and romantic opportunities.

It's an OK side business, but currently not a good source of bread-and-butter income in the context of my power capabilities/costs.

And solar isn't going to work; straight to the point, it would cost $5000 minimum to implement to satisfy my power requirements. And, I don't have that kind of money right now, just not happening. Further, the cloud cover is 50% during the colder months, so solar is only partially usable during the colder 5 months or so since the cloudy days tend to cluster. If I were operating in the deserts around phoenix/yuma/mexifornia, where the sunlight percentage is 90% during the summer and winter months, I could practically power my business year round off of solar, but I would still need a $5000 investment.
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Re: Buying forest land, implementing solar

Postby Dauntless » Tue Aug 15, 2017 12:09 pm

swbluto wrote:
I see, a young prostitute was compelling the drunken boys passionate gaze. It's certainly a good question what kind of girl this was, she didn't seem to be unskilled in the tease department and she was more-than-normal flirting with every man going through that line.


The "Kind" of girl would be 'Dancer.' 'Stripper.' Whether she's lumped in with the prostitutes he's waxing poetic over I'm not sure. So you're imaging you were there in the poem? The guy wrote it how long before you were born?

So Mom and Dad met at the University of Texas, Austin, 'Hook 'em Horns!' Although they'd moved to California my oldest brother went there also. Mom's sister married a guy from Texas A&M, where there son went. That was always such an interesting rivalry in the family. The Longhorns were mostly winnning.
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Re: Buying forest land, implementing solar

Postby swbluto » Tue Aug 15, 2017 12:57 pm

Dauntless wrote:
swbluto wrote:
I see, a young prostitute was compelling the drunken boys passionate gaze. It's certainly a good question what kind of girl this was, she didn't seem to be unskilled in the tease department and she was more-than-normal flirting with every man going through that line.


The "Kind" of girl would be 'Dancer.' 'Stripper.' Whether she's lumped in with the prostitutes he's waxing poetic over I'm not sure. So you're imaging you were there in the poem? The guy wrote it how long before you were born?
r

Clearly I wasn't being very specific with my pronoun use to differentiate "The dancer" from "The girl I met". I was referring to "The girl I met" in the second sentence.

I'm pretty sure this dynamic is what happened with the girl who fell for the "wry smiling,twirly mustache" guy who just "dangerously" kissed her; I didn't clearly differentiate my pronoun use. It's interesting this whole idea of taking "dangerous risks", because it felt like what I was doing was a dangerous risk as well, but wow, did that work out so well. Yep, so I think taking "dangerous risks" is exactly what a guy /should/ be doing to kick it up a notch fast. Don't "play it safe" and "treat her like a porcelain doll" if you want results.

I might suggest pulling away, though, to see if she starts chasing you to gauge her interest. But... that's only a suspicion... might not actually be all that important if she's obviously falling for you. That's a big "I don't know" based purely on my experiences, lol. I don't get the sense the twirly mustache guy pulled away and she embraced it much the same, she fell under the spell of his passion and desire. (It is odd how he picked her out without presumably talking to her first... I don't normally fall for girls I haven't talked to, lol. Anyway, yes, I remembered who this girl reminded me of ... she reminded me of that one girl back in Anime club in highschool, who also excitable and irascible and didn't hold back. I kind of had the hots for her, too... and she did come from a poor family.... I wasn't in her classes and I wasn't in anime club either, so I only really noticed her on the way to spanish class when she was getting out of japanese class, lol. So I came across this girl who reminded me of her (She got mad at her own town) and I'm like "Don't let her get away!", lol, and... oh... like a salmon in the stream which slipped through my fingers. Wow, that just felt like it was going to work out, but I guess time and circumstance intervened... god damn it, lol. Maybe it was for a good reason; she might have only been 16.)

It's funny how her personality suddenly changed when she ... for a lack of better word... "fell in love". I just can't imagine this irascible anime club girl back in highschool would start acting like a charming little girl when falling in love, lol, but I don't think I ever observed her in love, either.

I wonder if she gave up on the idea of love... because no one approached her. I'm sure someone did eventually, but I'm just curious how much she was actually like this girl.
" b
I'm starting to think I like short-tempered girls. That really seems to be the one thing that really gets me going.

I wonder how much overlap that has with me "hypothetically" being an asshole. Maybe I just like seeing people mad, hmmm... including girls...

I don't think I'm always an asshole to everyone, though. Maybe it's only certain people... people I perceive to be beneath me. Now that's a suspicion.

It's probably influenced by how hungry I am, too [eating many eggs or too much meat->insulin surge and crash->hungry->irritable]. Or how high my cortisol levels are (Early morning vs. later afternoon).

Cocoa seems to habitually make me quite happy. I'm a hyper chipper little chipmunk right after having cocoa, lol.

It's interesting that both cocoa and bananas contain tryptophan, two things I consume pretty regularly. Trytophan is otherwise quite rare in the plant kingdom.
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Re: Buying forest land, implementing solar

Postby The fingers » Tue Aug 15, 2017 3:19 pm

swbluto wrote:Cocoa seems to habitually make me quite happy. I'm a hyper chipper little chipmunk right after having cocoa, lol.
It's interesting that both cocoa and bananas contain tryptophan, two things I consume pretty regularly. Trytophan is otherwise quite rare in the plant kingdom.


Years ago I once lost 20 pounds by cutting out daily morning cocoa and donuts at work. Recently lost another 20 just by eating less at meals. Small changes in diet can really be effective, wish every change was easier to predict as to the outcome.
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