I will check into ES probably a lot to keep my mind off of things. I guess I have a lot of time, since this was the first real day of my week's vacation after the stressful remodels the last six weeks.
I can't go back to the house until late tomorrow at the earliest because firefighters will be back to check for restarts of smoldering, and investigating the source. My neighbors will be keeping an eye on the place while I am not there and it is mostly boarded up, to keep theives out. My Delta Tripper and CrazyBike2 are still at the back porch; there was no way Bill or I could unload either of them from his truck so we did not try to get anyone else to help us load them. I wanted to bring DT with me because I want something to get around on, but Bill is retired so he will drive me for now I guess.
I know I am rambling, probably worse than usual. But I can't stop thinking of things, and want to write them down now. So I guess this will be my "fire blog" thread. I am kind of blank inside now so when I start feeling things again I may say stuff no one wants to read; if it's too much another mod should edit it to tone it down. I have already felt bursts of anger so bad that I wanted to smash things but I have resisted them all so far, turning them into grief and crying instead. Hopefully that is better for me. Its definitely better for my surroundings.
I don't do well with any sudden change because of my AS/autistic tendencies and now EVERYTHING has changed; I can't even wear my usual clothes or have my usual spoons or blankets or cups or dishes or food or anything, much less the things that matter most--the dogs. They were my FAMILY, and now they are all horribly horribly dead.
I am not alone. I have a lot of friends; more in the neighborhood than I imagined, and some really good ones I've had for decades. Even my boss at work came out to the house to see if I was ok (how she heard I don't know but she was there when I arrived, waiting for me), and bought me clothes and stuff at Target so I would have stuff to wear. Other friends and neighbors also brought me things, including shoes (all of mine were in the bedroom, except the kind of crappy old ones I was wearing). My landlord's son will be bringing more tomorrow.
One of the firefighters sent my info to the Red Cross and said I should call them tomorrow to get help there too, but I don't know what kind of help that will be.
Just about everyone that has seen the house said that I have basically lost everything because what isn't actually burned is covered in soot and probably not salvageable. Maybe my bike junk is, but not a lot else. Furniture, clothes, etc. I have no bed; that's just some not-quite-melted springs out in the front yard now. Maybe the metal frame is still ok but even that is burned. It used to be an adjustable hospital bed which was the only way I really got comfy, along with piles of little throw pillows and blankets, which are all destroyed now.
I hope they're wrong and I can save stuff.
The landlord is going to rent a dumpster and put my stuff out by it in the yard so I can go thru it and decide for myself what to toss. But it all has to be taken out of the house--everything, in every room, so they can take the house apart and put it back together, to repair the fire damage and the firefighter damage done to put the fire out and get inside. So I hope there is no wind or rain for the next few months, which is how long it will all end up being out there in the open. I also hope thieves don't decide it's good pickings and take what little I have left. It's going to look like a scrapper's dream out there with all the metal bike stuff and whatnot that I had to store in the house because of the city a couple of years or so ago.
I doubt I'll be doing any of my projects anytime soon. I will probably have to tell my workplace not to bother with signing me up for the next remodels, because I needed to build a new CrazyBike2 to get there and was going to do that this week (I had already started last week). The Delta Tripper might survive another month or six weeks of 30+ mile round trips...maybe not.
Oh, wait, it's actually going to be much worse than that. I forgot that now I will be riding down from Greenway instead of Northern, so even my regular work commute is twice as far, and it's basically 5 miles north of my house, so what would have been a 30+ -mile round trip to the Laveen store remodel is now a 40+ mile round trip. I don't think my battery pack will like doing that every day, especially if I get the winds I ahd to deal with at the last one. I call it a 50-mile pack, but that's under generous conditions. 40 is safer, adn this will be more than that.
But I am not sure I will even be able to go back to work by then. I don't know that I can handle it. I hope so cuz I kind of have to; I don't have that much PTO left.