The Ebiker Joke thread...

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LockH   100 GW

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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by LockH » Apr 23 2017 8:37am

Favorite oxyMorons? Can add to list traffic "ACCIDENT" instead of COLLISION... :roll:
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Eff. June, 2014 Phoenix Ebike Promotions

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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by LockH » Apr 26 2017 6:57pm

In newz currently, Beijing heeds US calls to put squeeze on Kim

Includes:
Foreigners living in Pyongyang report that prices at petrol stations have gone up by about 80 per cent in the past week, as North Korea and the US continue to trade threats. Some petrol stations have closed and others are giving priority to diplomatic and official cars, as other drivers form long queues.
Meanwhile, in other newz, sales of ebikes soar...

:mrgreen:
ES changed my life (for the waaaaay better).

Eff. June, 2014 Phoenix Ebike Promotions

(Current ride? High speed lawn chair.)
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Phoenix Ebike Promotions conversion kit (work in progress. More drink holders, etc etc)
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by LockH » Apr 30 2017 4:46am

Giggle [S]earch STILL confused...
GiggleSearch.jpg
GiggleSearch.jpg (41.82 KiB) Viewed 1896 times
... with their "cheapest" electric bicycle appearing to have no wheels at all! (Sneaky advertisers...)
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Eff. June, 2014 Phoenix Ebike Promotions

(Current ride? High speed lawn chair.)
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Phoenix Ebike Promotions conversion kit (work in progress. More drink holders, etc etc)
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by LockH » Apr 30 2017 7:03pm

Art by Swedish artist Karl Jilg... "reveals how much space we give to cars". Seen here:
http://www.businessinsider.com/car-illu ... ilg-2017-4

Image
ES changed my life (for the waaaaay better).

Eff. June, 2014 Phoenix Ebike Promotions

(Current ride? High speed lawn chair.)
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Phoenix Ebike Promotions conversion kit (work in progress. More drink holders, etc etc)
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by LockH » May 03 2017 9:28am

In ES Newz:
Trying to overcome Diseaselgate, Volkswagen (OTCPK:VLKAY) is talking to Exxon Mobil (NYSE:XOM) and Gazprom (OTCQX:GZPFY) to back its efforts in promoting cars that run on unnatural gas. "We are now really trying to think out of the box and find solutions that can be helpful at least in this transition period of 10 to 20 years," CEO Matthias Mueller told Austria's ORF radio.
:roll:
ES changed my life (for the waaaaay better).

Eff. June, 2014 Phoenix Ebike Promotions

(Current ride? High speed lawn chair.)
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Phoenix Ebike Promotions conversion kit (work in progress. More drink holders, etc etc)
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by LockH » May 05 2017 10:19pm

Flowers Planted in Potholes | Autoblog Minute


:roll: :mrgreen:
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Eff. June, 2014 Phoenix Ebike Promotions

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Phoenix Ebike Promotions conversion kit (work in progress. More drink holders, etc etc)
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by LockH » May 06 2017 10:36pm

Giggle [S]earch on a "Bad Day"... where in a search for "electric bicycle" in fact NONE of the options presented are actually with an electric assist!:
GiggleBadDay.jpg
GiggleBadDay.jpg (38.67 KiB) Viewed 1822 times
ES changed my life (for the waaaaay better).

Eff. June, 2014 Phoenix Ebike Promotions

(Current ride? High speed lawn chair.)
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Phoenix Ebike Promotions conversion kit (work in progress. More drink holders, etc etc)
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by LockH » May 09 2017 9:27am

Words and phrases seen in a current TV "traffic report": "bootle neck"... "slow down"... "crawling"... "bumper to bumper"... "get away" (car)... "accident"... "banned" (cars, for a parade)... [goes on and on...] OH! Commercial "break" from a car manufacturer! "powerful"... "fast(er)"... [back to a "traffic report"]... "very slow"... "STILL slow"... "eases off"... One 21st-century Urban Guy doesn't know whether to laugh or to cry... It's a JOKE, right? OH! Commercial "break" for a law firm... "Accidents CAN happen"... (ED: Locally, collisions actually DO happen all day and night, every day... in the hundreds)... So. Better to LAUGH than to CRY. Correct?
ES changed my life (for the waaaaay better).

Eff. June, 2014 Phoenix Ebike Promotions

(Current ride? High speed lawn chair.)
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Phoenix Ebike Promotions conversion kit (work in progress. More drink holders, etc etc)
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by LockH » May 11 2017 12:11pm

¿Habla español? Apparently, in March during the Tropical Bike Motril competition in Spain NONE of these folks had an assist on their bikes! (Weird, eh?)

ES changed my life (for the waaaaay better).

Eff. June, 2014 Phoenix Ebike Promotions

(Current ride? High speed lawn chair.)
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Phoenix Ebike Promotions conversion kit (work in progress. More drink holders, etc etc)
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by LockH » May 13 2017 8:27am

Well. THERE'S something ya maybe don't see EVery day? A Police 6V Bike! Oh! "Size Large"! Better see...

















Image

Well DANG. It's a kids trike. [Grumble Grumble]



Hehe...
ES changed my life (for the waaaaay better).

Eff. June, 2014 Phoenix Ebike Promotions

(Current ride? High speed lawn chair.)
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Phoenix Ebike Promotions conversion kit (work in progress. More drink holders, etc etc)
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by Eskimo » May 17 2017 12:52am

Brand new bikelane in FInland. Ride carefully.
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http://helsinkiheroes.com/

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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by LockH » May 19 2017 11:25pm

^^ :shock: :roll: :?

Image
ES changed my life (for the waaaaay better).

Eff. June, 2014 Phoenix Ebike Promotions

(Current ride? High speed lawn chair.)
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Phoenix Ebike Promotions conversion kit (work in progress. More drink holders, etc etc)
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by LockH » May 22 2017 3:35am

ES Newz reports "GM Franchise Owners Confirm: Giant "Facing Its Final Days"

Oh. Sorry. That's a report about McDonalds. NEVer mind. (Sorry):
http://theantimedia.org/mcdonalds-franc ... inal-days/

(Darned "fake" news...)
ES changed my life (for the waaaaay better).

Eff. June, 2014 Phoenix Ebike Promotions

(Current ride? High speed lawn chair.)
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Phoenix Ebike Promotions conversion kit (work in progress. More drink holders, etc etc)
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by LockH » May 22 2017 10:21am

The automaker is reportedly considering a major reshuffle of its leadership team following a slump in its stock price. Sources say CEO Mark Fields has been replaced by Jim Hackett, who oversees Ford's (NYSE:F) self-driving cars and ride-sharing unit. The departure, along with other executive changes, comes days after rumors surfaced stating Ford was planning to cut 10% of its global workforce. F +3% premarket.
Geee... Hope it wasn't anything WE said. [Cough Cough]
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Eff. June, 2014 Phoenix Ebike Promotions

(Current ride? High speed lawn chair.)
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Phoenix Ebike Promotions conversion kit (work in progress. More drink holders, etc etc)
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by LockH » May 25 2017 11:31am



:lol:
ES changed my life (for the waaaaay better).

Eff. June, 2014 Phoenix Ebike Promotions

(Current ride? High speed lawn chair.)
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Phoenix Ebike Promotions conversion kit (work in progress. More drink holders, etc etc)
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by LockH » May 27 2017 11:01am

Having another "bad day"... another Giggle [S]earch for "electric bicycle" where two of "Top Five" (price-wise) pics don't actually have assist? One is "Electric shifting ready"!

:mrgreen:
Giggle1.jpg
Giggle1.jpg (58.26 KiB) Viewed 1666 times
ES changed my life (for the waaaaay better).

Eff. June, 2014 Phoenix Ebike Promotions

(Current ride? High speed lawn chair.)
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Phoenix Ebike Promotions conversion kit (work in progress. More drink holders, etc etc)
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by LockH » May 27 2017 12:56pm

Seen on a GumTree site from Oxford, Oxfordshire, England:
Fully legal electric bike no need for insurance tax or mot

Not like one of those only partly legal bikes... :mrgreen:
ES changed my life (for the waaaaay better).

Eff. June, 2014 Phoenix Ebike Promotions

(Current ride? High speed lawn chair.)
viewtopic.php?f=3&t=57408

Phoenix Ebike Promotions conversion kit (work in progress. More drink holders, etc etc)
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by LockH » May 28 2017 6:12pm

Per Wiki, "List of Car Free Places" mentions "bicycle" thirty-three times.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_car-free_places

Your challenger for today (if you accept this assignment), to name each of 33 places. ;) :

"Town center is free of cars and bicycles"
"The city's bicycle paths are extensive and well-used."
"Shopping street Yliopistonkatu and large parts of the streets siding the Aura River are only for pedestrians and bicycles, service traffic allowed during low-traffic hours. Riversides connected with several pedestrian-only bridges and the free-of-charge pedestrian-only ferry Föri."
"In addition to cars, bicycles are banned."
"Sustainable urban design encourages people to travel by bike and train."
"Cars and bicycles are both banned (quad bikes are allowed, but only for maintenance)"
"Bicycles are permitted on ferries."
"Historic industrial district; red brick streets and architecture, bicycle parking, adjacent to Don Valley bicycle trail network through the city."
"Wilderness on a 5 km-long man-made peninsula area near downtown. Access by bicycle, pedestrian or boat."
"Section of the Park Driveway permanently converted to pedestrian use; remains accessible for emergency vehicles. The inside lane of another street in the park—the Park Roadway, which follows the shoreline of Charlottetown Harbour—is converted to a bicycle and roller blading path during the summer months."
"Extensive bicycle path network linking all points into a regional bicycle transportation system. Large areas of the city are "bicycle only"."
"Transit mall with pedestrian-only extensions. However, electric buses and police cars drive throughout the area at all times, alongside pedicabs and horse-drawn carriages. It is forbidden to ride ordinary bicycles along the mall except on Sundays, and bicycles parked on the mall are impounded by police after a few hours' notice."
"Parking will be located on the perimeter of the village. Access within the village core will be by walking, carts, and bicycles."
"Features sidewalks on either side and is lined by apartments, museums (with cafes), hotels, and the White River State Park. Opportunity to rent kayaks, Segways, bicycles, paddleboats, etc. Completely car-free."
"Resort island; bicycle and horse-and-buggy transport"
"Most of the island is accessible only by passenger ferries, or by foot or bicycle from the parking lot at the western end (which is reachable by a cars-only bridge); wagons used for transport. Residents can get car access permits for non-summer months. The community of Cherry Grove has boardwalk streets only five feet wide and is completely inaccessible to conventional motor vehicles. It may be the most populous truly car-free area in the USA."
"Cars and trucks are only allowed for specific purposes. Electric golf carts and minibuses are in limited use by park staff and contractors. Bicycles and human-powered quad vehicles are allowed and available for rent. Access is via ferry or private, human-powered boat."
"Pedestrianized main downtown shopping street, 4 car free blocks. Ebikes must be walked."
"6 block car free retail street connecting the university and the capitol. Traditional street & sidewalk layout; the street is used by buses, bicycles, police cars, taxicabs, and numerous delivery (motor) vehicles; pedestrians and the occasional delivery vehicle (parked) on the sidewalks."
"State park, ferry access from nearby Washington Island. No cars or bicycles allowed."
"Parts of Old Havana are car free. Large swaths of Central Havana are devoid of cars. The population, is not yet a car culture. The cars in use are mostly taxis taking multiple passengers. In Central Havana, cars generally stick to just a few thoroughfares. In other parts of Cuba, in many small towns, bicycles and pedicabs are the main source of transportation."
"Large car-free island off the coast of the state, part of Angra dos Reis municipality. Only allowed vehicles are bicycles, tractors and rentable jeeps."
"Until very recently (2004), most of the city saw very little cars on the street, and transport within the city basically consisted of the bicycle or by foot. This was because of the cities' urban planning (mostly boulevards planted on both sides with green trees or baobabs), yet presumably also because of the villager's low income. At present, more mechanized transport is seen on the streets such as motorcycles and small cars."
"All vehicles, including bicycles, are banned on the island, with some electric vehicles circulating for tourist transit and emergency services."
"No cars allowed on island, all transport is on foot, bicycle or the regular bus service."
"No cars allowed on island, all transport is on foot or bicycles. Most of island is national park."
"No cars allowed on island, all transport is on foot or bicycles. Park rangers are only permanent residents."
"A small number of resident permits, however most transport is on foot or bicycles."
"No private cars, some exemptions for Swanston Street. Bicycles not allowed on Bourke Street Mall."

:mrgreen:
ES changed my life (for the waaaaay better).

Eff. June, 2014 Phoenix Ebike Promotions

(Current ride? High speed lawn chair.)
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Phoenix Ebike Promotions conversion kit (work in progress. More drink holders, etc etc)
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by LockH » May 29 2017 1:12pm

More BIG NEWS from the Dutch today...

Image

High praise for Tom Dumoulin's Giro victory; First major cycling victory for NL in 37 years:
http://nltimes.nl/2017/05/29/high-prais ... l-37-years

Ends:
And as far as anybody can tell, Tom used NO assist! (Judges still checking...TBA)
ES changed my life (for the waaaaay better).

Eff. June, 2014 Phoenix Ebike Promotions

(Current ride? High speed lawn chair.)
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Phoenix Ebike Promotions conversion kit (work in progress. More drink holders, etc etc)
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by LockH » May 31 2017 8:11am

CYCLIST’S HORROR as his testicles end up lodged in his anus after freak accident
http://southendnewsnetwork.com/news/cyc ... -accident/
Image
Article ends:
The area manager for Halfords in Essex has contacted our Newsdesk to confirm that they are now stocking pothole-proof saddles with testicle receptacles for £69.99.
:shock:
ES changed my life (for the waaaaay better).

Eff. June, 2014 Phoenix Ebike Promotions

(Current ride? High speed lawn chair.)
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Phoenix Ebike Promotions conversion kit (work in progress. More drink holders, etc etc)
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by The fingers » Jun 01 2017 12:02pm

Shopping-at-Walmart-bike-550x413.jpg
Shopping-at-Walmart-bike-550x413.jpg (67.73 KiB) Viewed 1630 times
Maybe if she shopped at Nordstrom it would be an ebike. :lol:
Black Schwinn High Sierra
Blue Schwinn Cruiser 5
Blue Schwinn High Plains
Black Fiore Cruzer 5: Amped Warp Drive 26" Front DD/SLA kit
http://ghostbikes.org/
http://www.rideofsilence.org/main.php
Hebrews 9:27

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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by LockH » Jun 02 2017 8:29pm

^^ Hehe. Meanwhile...

Funny Giggle [S]earch...
GiggleSearch1.jpg
GiggleSearch1.jpg (39.33 KiB) Viewed 1606 times
First up, an "electric bicycle" from Daymak:
http://www.daymak.com/pages/scooters/em1se.php

"In Box Weight: 125kg or 275lbs in a box" (Sounds like really hard to pedal...)

"Battery: 72v/20ah"... and "Battery Life (charges): 300-400"... Oh Oh... Smells like lead-acid... *

"Max load: 300 lbs"... and "Pegs for second rider: Installed" So. Can comfortably seat two (tiny) North Americans...

* Fine Print: When ambient temps "warm". Downhills... w/a tail wind. When new. When ridden w/no stops.
ES changed my life (for the waaaaay better).

Eff. June, 2014 Phoenix Ebike Promotions

(Current ride? High speed lawn chair.)
viewtopic.php?f=3&t=57408

Phoenix Ebike Promotions conversion kit (work in progress. More drink holders, etc etc)
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by LockH » Jun 03 2017 7:28pm

Silly Giggle (Giggle [S]earch)... The USUAL reports from Giggle for "car free" go something like today "patrons free woman pinned beneath car's bumper"... "Firefighters called to cut free victim of three-car crash"... "Two people cut free from wreckage after three car crash"... "UPDATE: Casualty taken to hospital after being cut free from crash wreckage"...

Interestingly enough... or not, have yet to read any reports of "Ebiker cut free from accident"... Odd, eh?
ES changed my life (for the waaaaay better).

Eff. June, 2014 Phoenix Ebike Promotions

(Current ride? High speed lawn chair.)
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Phoenix Ebike Promotions conversion kit (work in progress. More drink holders, etc etc)
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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by LockH » Jun 07 2017 9:39pm

Image
ES changed my life (for the waaaaay better).

Eff. June, 2014 Phoenix Ebike Promotions

(Current ride? High speed lawn chair.)
viewtopic.php?f=3&t=57408

Phoenix Ebike Promotions conversion kit (work in progress. More drink holders, etc etc)
viewtopic.php?f=15&t=60564

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Re: The Ebiker Joke thread...

Post by LockH » Jun 10 2017 8:32pm

Trump converts White House to run entirely on coal:
Image

:shock:
ES changed my life (for the waaaaay better).

Eff. June, 2014 Phoenix Ebike Promotions

(Current ride? High speed lawn chair.)
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Phoenix Ebike Promotions conversion kit (work in progress. More drink holders, etc etc)
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