Feeling pathetic, pissed off and generally down :(

Hang in there, but it's hard to be cheerful when they took your fun. When I took sick, I thought I was going to fall to depression for sure. Not only was I too weak to work for years, but in the first six months I could not even have sex anymore. When I tried, I'd pay a horrible price and barely be able to get out of bed for 3-4 days. Talk about having your fun taken away, sure I missed my bike, but too sick to enjoy sex was just TOO MUCH. Worst of all, the condition prognosis was improvement in 3-5 years if at all, and a very good chance of no improvement for 20 years or more. Holy crap, I'm way too into sex to have that happen.

It was a big adjustment. No sex was just not something I could live with. I did eventually learn to have sex with less effort, and only feel like crap for 2 days. That I could live with. I nearly gave up all riding the bikes, and did give up pedaling at all for 2 years. I just kept thanking God that it wasn't cancer, It was only a metabolic disorder with no cure. It could kill me if I wasn't careful, but not quickly.

But even though I thought it could not ever get much better, this year it did. I wised up and quit punishing myself trying to keep working. I began to improve immediately, just because I wasn't pushing my self so hard. Now I have recovered a lot. Still can't work a regular job, but I can make myself useful doing long neglected home maintenance. Not pounding myself to death daily, I seem to be actually making tiny bits of progress towards returning to 50% of what I could do before. I will be very happy to get that much recovery. With that, I could work a 20 hour week again. Meanwhile, I do as much as I can every day, but stop as soon as I need to. Get through 5 more tough years, and retirement income starts for my wife, that we can live on without either of us working. Same date, the house is paid in full.

Anyway, the point of the long ramble is, the Dude Abides, and if you will too, you will get through a temporary depressing period in one piece. As Clint Eastwood said in a horrible movie,

Adapt, Improvise, and Overcome.
 
Hi Neil,

Sorry to hear about your thumb. Bit of a nightmare with your job to say the least.

If I wasn't working, our benefits wouldn't scratch the surface of my mortgage, I'd have to start selling assets.

I don't think people from outside the Channel Islands understand the cost of living here.

The relentless rain and wind don't help either.

However, your thumb will heal eventually and you'll be back in the saddle. Until then I would keep as busy as possible with whatever you can manage.

All the best and Happy New Year!
 
You are not alone, Neil. So far I have had a shit new year. Got so frustrated, I started getting high BP readings, and, eyes have "hairs" floating around inside the eyeballs. :roll:

Need to get a project completed for a member, need to get the dam built for the hydro system, changing over house lighting to 12V LEDs. Started that on Thursday, then, phone wouldn't work. Only disconnected one shitty wire from the original rats nest wiring job. Ended up having to change out the wall outlet that was typical Chinese shit. Portable phone so needs electricity.

Then, felled a tree, so I could get some sample lumber for John to look at, and, had the sawmill re-leveled. Took the 5HP motor off the planer, and set it up on the sawmill. Sawed a log, just fine. Quit for lunch, went back out and threw the switch and all the magic smoke escaped from the motor. Wanted to finish up adding 8S 3P of battery to make my 24S packs for the Ebike-Moto, but, soldering iron won't work.

Threw that down and heard a racket inside the green house. Damn water pump went out. Had to rig up a different type spare. Looks like Rube Goldberg made it up. At least the fish are still alive.

Went in the house to relax, turned on the computer and it was so slow, it was impossible to watch a couple wind turbine videos I had saved for viewing. Need to get the wind turbine built. Wind is steady 15-20 MPH with gusts, for the past several days. Found out the Internet connection was bad inside the house, so, had the company repair guy come out and fix it. Added a phone line extension into the shop and he tested it. Went out later and hooked up each of 2 spare phones. NO GO. Finally, had to shave a little plastic off the chinese connector box, so the phone line would seat properly.

BP is high enough I have to take pills and just sit and relax, so I don't get that screwed up more.

No, I don't have your problems, but, thought you might get some relief, laughing at my pitiful existence, here in Paradise. :roll: :lol: Stay cool and you will be back in the air, real soon. :) :)
 
HA! I've been on holiday for decades (since I escaped employment). The only down side? If ya find something you love to do (and are good at), ya get to work eight days per week (recently, someone told me there are still only seven. Kinda upsetting.)
 
LockH said:
HA! I've been on holiday for decades (since I escaped employment). The only down side? If ya find something you love to do (and are good at), ya get to work eight days per week (recently, someone told me there are still only seven. Kinda upsetting.)
Click to expand...

I'd love to work 8 days a week in my job...if I could do it!! Most people have to pay to fly..I get paid to do it :)


Harold.... I'd come and help yo do all that stuff if i could . had days like that also..every way you turn in a project and something else comes along to trip you up.
I have a mate in CR..he is building a new house..he was down here in jersey in the summer. if I can ever afford the air fare out to you I'll make a point of dropping in on you...with my tool belt and DVM packed in the luggage ;)

spinningmagnets said:
Neil, Photoshop is a fun thing to learn, and consider also possibly learning Solidworks, Google Sketchup, etc...with an eye towards 3D printing.
Click to expand...

Have had a play with Google Sketchup..but not really got anywhere...been trying to draw a basic axle (Xlyte 5304) to scale ..initially 2D and then a 3D version. Also tried doing drawings of wheel / axle/ spoke patterns but got no where. need to learn how to group items and work out how to keep the centre point the same when drawign the circles for the different diameters when drawing concentric circles for an axle.



kudos said:
Hi Neil,

If I wasn't working, our benefits wouldn't scratch the surface of my mortgage, I'd have to start selling assets

I don't think people from outside the Channel Islands understand the cost of living here. .
Click to expand...

Well i have been lucky, in that it is a small apartment 50 sq meter...520 square foot or so and I have paid off enough in the past 6 years that now my minimum payments are less than if I was renting...about £600 per month (985 USD) If I'd be renting this over here I'd paying at least £750 per month ($1250 per month).

the sickness benefit is £190 pr week ..so i am just about covering the 'rent' The GF is working, but she is only part time and on less than the sickness benefit..but at least it is paying t=for the food..Thankfully we both have e-bikes ..so transport costs are minimal

is the runway extension in Guernsey finished yet? so long ago can't remember what the situation was last time I was there.

dogman said:
Hang in there, but it's hard to be cheerful when they took your fun. When I took sick, I thought I was going to fall to depression for sure. Not only was I too weak to work for years, but in the first six months I could not even have sex anymore. When I tried, I'd pay a horrible price and barely be able to get out of bed for 3-4 days. Talk about having your fun taken away, sure I missed my bike, but too sick to enjoy sex was just TOO MUCH. Worst of all, the condition prognosis was improvement in 3-5 years if at all, and a very good chance of no improvement for 20 years or more. Holy crap, I'm way too into sex to have that happen.

It was a big adjustment. No sex was just not something I could live with. I did eventually learn to have sex with less effort, and only feel like crap for 2 days. That I could live with. I nearly gave up all riding the bikes, and did give up pedaling at all for 2 years. I just kept thanking God that it wasn't cancer, It was only a metabolic disorder with no cure. It could kill me if I wasn't careful, but not quickly.

Anyway, the point of the long ramble is, the Dude Abides, and if you will too, you will get through a temporary depressing period in one piece. As Clint Eastwood said in a horrible movie,

Adapt, Improvise, and Overcome.
Click to expand...

Thankfully for me the sex issue is not a problem...get what I need but can quite happily go without..not something that has ever been a worry for me..if i get it..great.if not ...I probably don't even notice.

Not so much depressed as pissed off and bored at not being able to do stuff...and the stuff i do want to do ...needs cash..upgrade the computer ...etc and stuff that does not cost money..need use of both hands..photography, metal detecting..building the new clamping drop outs for the X5405.

just had good news about an hour ago . although the tendon has snapped, the specialist surgeon is over next week..and since I 'know people who know people' due to my ambo work...i managed to get in on his operating schedule this month..no 6 month wait :D so under the knife again on 16th Jan :lol:
So ..if all goes well..back at work in March. I broke my arm in August..and told them...Ah..8 weeks and I'll be back at work...5 months later and I am still stuck sitting on my arse at home..but hopefully this time..the end is in sight
 
Mine is usually the pile of straws to break the camels' back. Last year I was sick almost nonstop, sinus trouble that just wouldn't let up, though only giving me the serious hacks about 15% of the time. This after a two year recovery from shoulder trouble that kept me from working out much, so I'm bad out of of shape now.

Finally, 10 years after the New Years' resolution that was to put me into Physics classes, I got my first. Scoring 100% so far, but I feel like I borrowed a car from an Al Queda member, I'm not really getting it.

You know, they're saying there's to be a Velvetta shortage in time for the Superbowl. Oh, wait, I don't eat that stuff anyway.
 
Didn't meant to imply I was having sex every day. Far from it, by now. But after 33 years together, it was quite a shock to have getting laid cost me like I did a 50 mile march with no water or food. The wife was not too thrilled either.

I felt all the stuff you are feeling now, bored and pissed off more than depressed most of the time. But the worst thing of all about it was how sudden it all happened. Staving off the inevitable aging fairly well with lots of biking, I was feeling pretty good. Then a mosquito bites me and west nile virus makes me almost an invalid overnight. It was, and still is, very frustrating.

Lots of reading, lots of wasting the morning on ES. Way too much TV, but Netflix at least keeps me from watching daytime talk shows. Fortunately, in my climate I need to start the gardening in the solar heated porch of the house right now. And the 10x10 greenhouse out back will warm enough soon to be used. It still freezes in there till about april 1. By then the sprouts from the porch will be ready for bigger pots. Very therapeutic for me to start seeds in the spring. I miss my 174 flowerbeds at work dearly, it was fun to have that much flowers to grow every year. But I still have a third of an acre at home, so I still get one flower garden to play with.
 
NeilP said:
kudos said:
Hi Neil,

If I wasn't working, our benefits wouldn't scratch the surface of my mortgage, I'd have to start selling assets

I don't think people from outside the Channel Islands understand the cost of living here. .
Click to expand...

is the runway extension in Guernsey finished yet? so long ago can't remember what the situation was last time I was there.
Click to expand...

I'm not sure there was ever an extension planned, i think they just levelled it and fixed the apron at at a cost of 80 odd million.
I believe it is finished now.
 
Definitely an extension at the western end.. but maybe the runway is staying the same 'length' and the run off areas have been increased..cant remembe or find accurate info just now

http://www.sustainableguernsey.info/blog/2010/10/psd’s-proposed-option-c-guernsey-airport-expansion


what fuckwit puts an ' apostrophe in a url...cunts...it just wont format properly to paste here in the tags
 
Hi NielP

Sorry to hear of the troubles. What may work to get things calmed down a bit is a good old fashioned shock to the system. Some up north will run around in the snow near bare ass and then jump into a hot tub. Also, I hear a steam bath helps much the same way. Bright lights also are a definite help if you can not get out and walk in the sunshine. Sitting frustrated at a computer trying to learn new stuff, may work or may go the other way. Small doses work best. Keep the faith.

cheers
 
NeilP said:
Definitely an extension at the western end.. but maybe the runway is staying the same 'length' and the run off areas have been increased..cant remembe or find accurate info just now

http://www.sustainableguernsey.info/blog/2010/10/psd’s-proposed-option-c-guernsey-airport-expansion


what fuckwit puts an ' apostrophe in a url...cunts...it just wont format properly to paste here in the tags[/quote] [url]http://www.susta...-proposed-option-c-guernsey-airport-expansion

NeilP and torker, hope you both make full recoveries.
Click to expand...
 
mark5 said:
NeilP said:
Definitely an extension at the western end.. but maybe the runway is staying the same 'length' and the run off areas have been increased..cant remembe or find accurate info just now

http://www.sustainableguernsey.info/blog/2010/10/psd’s-proposed-option-c-guernsey-airport-expansion


what fuckwit puts an ' apostrophe in a url...cunts...it just wont format properly to paste here in the tags[/quote] [url]http://www.susta...-proposed-option-c-guernsey-airport-expansion

NeilP and torker, hope you both make full recoveries.
Click to expand...

Thanks.. Brain damage and 3 days in ICU makes you look at life. It was strange the first few weeks. I didn't drive so I just rode and I was pretty quiet around people,even family. I could not process fast enough to join a conversation with more than one other person. That was hard,lonely. Gave me some time to think about what is really important I guess. Also was a big wake up for me. Sitting drinking coffee Sun. morning and all of a sudden I can't talk. Now it is the small things that make me smile. Now if I could be the hero my dog and my grandaughter think I am :mrgreen:
Click to expand...
 
torker said:
Thanks.. Brain damage and 3 days in ICU makes you look at life.
Click to expand...

HA! Amateur. I didn't come out of a coma (open my eyes) `til Day Eight. So, I wonder watt the record on ES is, for "holding yer breath", so to speak.
 
what they have found with brain damage from concussions is that if the brain is allowed to be idle constantly and not pushed into mental exercises before the healing has been allowed to begin, then it takes much much less time for the brain to recover. you should really avoid alcohol too if you are recovering from stroke. it may be that just sleeping for a month is the best remedy.

brain research is on the very cusp of new breakouts and yet the congress has cut back research in the very area that our country has a preeminent position.

all so we can afford to spend $600 billion/year to kill everybody and maintain huge fleets of ballistic missiles and aircraft carrier battle groups. for what purpose? why do we have to go invade all these countries and now unleash this sunni shia conflict across 1/2 the world.

too bad all sports are now locked into the escalation of violence and the loss of these guys to brain trauma. i never saw runners deliberately trying to hurt the catcher at home plate when i was young so what the hell is it now about sports that makes it so common now.
 
Umm tempting..but that sort of medication stays in the blood stream and collects in the hair.so i believe..and in my work you could get tested any time..Don't need that as well
 
NeilP said:
Definitely an extension at the western end.. but maybe the runway is staying the same 'length' and the run off areas have been increased..cant remembe or find accurate info just now

http://www.sustainableguernsey.info/blog/2010/10/psd’s-proposed-option-c-guernsey-airport-expansion

what fuckwit puts an ' apostrophe in a url...cunts...it just wont format properly to paste here in the tags[/quote] http://www.lagancons... time to allow us bigger planes is beyond me.
Click to expand...
 
NeilP said:
Umm tempting..but that sort of medication stays in the blood stream and collects in the hair...
Click to expand...

Wattasec... You still got hair on your head??? Hehe... In truth, so do I, butt I am trying to give it up (other guys don't seem to have this problem).
 
Don't worry, you will recovery soon. I broke my wrist about a year ago during a horrible motorcycle accident. I was in the hospital and required surgery which included plates and screws. I thought I would never be able to ride again, but here I am riding another motorcycle, road, mountain, and an almost complete ebike. Just hang in there, your going to be ok. I had no insurance so I lost the bike, pay medical bills, and more.





 
That is nasty..glad to hear you are riding again...my motorcycle on blocks..has been for about 3 years now,...just cant get around to putting it back together..just can not be bothered...e-bikes just as much fun and cheaper
 
Hi Neil, sorry to hear you are not 100% at the moment, if you don't get all the treatment you think you could get look into the hand clinic at Derby royal hospital, We are reputed to have the best hand surgeons here!
My son rolled a car a few years ago and got both hands trapped between the car and the road! they where a mess, looked like they had been in a tank full of Pirhana (the film variety)!! to see them today you would not believe the extent of the damage! fully functional and unless he showed you you would not even notice any scarring!
I believe Prince Charles also came to derby to have a hand sorted, cant remember why?

Keep your chin up Neil,

Simon.
 
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