1-I would look hard at the tires as part of the suspension. Tires that run around 25-30Psi MTB/Cruiser sizes) and Tannus liners (not only prevent flats but absorb bumps and provide some damping that just the tires don't). Do as much as you can to get things smoothed out before that big hub starts moving around. I've had very good results on hardtails with this approach. This is how Older American luxury cars got away with heavy rear live axles, and squishy springs for so many years
2- Engineers look at this as a weight, and a spring that produce a certain frequency. There are formulas and calculators for this.
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Sprung weight (weight on that axle) unsprung weight (The hub and suspension weight) Desired frequency (comfy,sporty,HD?) and spring rate ( adjusted for suspension ratio) are the variables.
This may give you some ideas of which way to go from where you are. Shock absorbtion comes down to limiting the number of cycles that occur per bump. Probably much stiffer to control this hub. The ratio of motion between the spring and axle is important because it makes the spring rate exponential to the leverage. 2x lever=4x spring,3x=9x. etc. Forks are 1:1
3- Taking this further, it's normal practice to have a faster frequency for the rear than the front suspension. This allows the rear to "catch up" to the front over each bump based on the wheelbase and speed. This has a lot to do with fore and aft pitching movements, which on a bicycle are actually very large. You may actually achieve this with just the tires at some speed over small bumps at that speed. It's nice to be aware of this in case it happens for you. Tire pressure can tune the speed up and down some.
I don't think anyone can answer this for you. But understanding the principles can get you headed in the right direction.