With that screwdriver approach it looks like 3 hands are needed, because you need to double up on the screwdrivers to keep the nut straight and prevent taking it off cross-threaded, which will create added problems. You mentioned vice grips, so I'd try them first. Just get a good grip, pull and turn at the same time, all the while making sure the nut stays square with the shaft.
I'm working out a stripped shaft problem right now on a motor that arrived that way. To solve it I'm making sleeves to screw onto the shafts that result in a 25mm diameter with 20mm flats and modifying and strengthening the dropouts so no torque arms are needed.
Is it normal to cut slots for the wires on the threaded portion instead of cutting them in the flats? Cutting the slot there makes that portion of the shaft useless as far as threading is concerned. While I understand that they want to make these motors fit standard dropouts, that whole connection is poorly engineered and a class action suit waiting to happen as ebikes gain popularity. Just make the shafts larger diameter, so proper gauge wires fit through anyway. So what if modification and strengthening of the dropouts becomes part of a standard install, since it's cheap enough to get done and necessary anyway. For rear mount motors an even better solution would be to have the motor come with strong attachments to the both frame tubes on both sides and not even use the existing dropouts at all other than as a guide for proper alignment and to bear some weight but no torque.
Sorry about the soapbox, but I'm sure the problem is common and wheels coming off can be devastating.