LockH
1 PW
Seen on the wuh-wuh-wuh:
The Ebiker Joke thread...
- Thread starter Lock
- Start date
LockH
1 PW
From the sleepy little Canadian backwater of Thunder Bay, eh?:
and
LockH
1 PW
Charge your mobile ebike device with the bionic battery box:
LockH
1 PW
Seen here:
http://www.bassresource.com/bass-fishing-forums/topic/133242-sea-eagle-frameless-one-person-pontoon/
In part:
Yes, some on-the-water fish killers may want to move into the future (and give up the rest of that stinky business that has maybe killed so many other animals - see "humans").
http://www.bassresource.com/bass-fishing-forums/topic/133242-sea-eagle-frameless-one-person-pontoon/
In part:
Yes, some on-the-water fish killers may want to move into the future (and give up the rest of that stinky business that has maybe killed so many other animals - see "humans").
LockH
1 PW
In the news, "E-car batteries contribute to China's pollution problem", here:
http://www.thestarphoenix.com/business/batteries+contribute+China+pollution+problem/9621298/story.html
Unfortunately, the author may have overlooked the damage caused by gasoline or diseasal (sp?) powered vehicles. In north America for example, about 100 years ago by one estimate there were well less than 1000 "horseless carriages" across the whole continent.
Per the above article, in part:
"fouled air and water, damaged crops and raised health concerns"?
Sounds like a straight copy, from last months article on gasoline/diseasal (sp?) fossil fuel ("fossil"... really?) vehicles.
Also from that article:
Of course, the average north american car might carry an air-fuel bomb ("gas tank") of maybe 16 gallons (about 26 pounds weight, aka 12 kilograms). So, maybe 12/26 ebikes per one car worth of poisons or explosive chemicals...
Math may or may not be correct.
http://www.thestarphoenix.com/business/batteries+contribute+China+pollution+problem/9621298/story.html
Unfortunately, the author may have overlooked the damage caused by gasoline or diseasal (sp?) powered vehicles. In north America for example, about 100 years ago by one estimate there were well less than 1000 "horseless carriages" across the whole continent.
Per the above article, in part:
"fouled air and water, damaged crops and raised health concerns"?
Sounds like a straight copy, from last months article on gasoline/diseasal (sp?) fossil fuel ("fossil"... really?) vehicles.
Also from that article:
Of course, the average north american car might carry an air-fuel bomb ("gas tank") of maybe 16 gallons (about 26 pounds weight, aka 12 kilograms). So, maybe 12/26 ebikes per one car worth of poisons or explosive chemicals...
Math may or may not be correct.
LockH
1 PW
Ebiker Etymology:
The common name "Passenger Ebiker" derives from the French word passager, which means "to pass by" in a fleeting manner.
(See also "Passenger Pigeon".)
The common name "Passenger Ebiker" derives from the French word passager, which means "to pass by" in a fleeting manner.
(See also "Passenger Pigeon".)
LockH
1 PW
One hundred years on, two possible ebikers killed near Ypres (in western Belgium), and killers went "old school". (Weapon in this case was not a "car".)
BBC news:
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-26654314
BBC news:
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-26654314
LockH
1 PW
North Dakota wants you: New campaign seeks to fill 20,000 jobs
(Ebikers stay out of town.)
(Ebikers stay out of town.)
LockH
1 PW
LockH said:
Apparently some nasty ebiker has struck:
It may appear to some the [C]ommenter was thinking of the car (truck-sized vehicle) as making a lovely flower planter.
LockH
1 PW
In unrelated news (maybe), Goodyear has announced the new name for their NT ("new technology") airship... the "Blimp".
An assortment of... "large" North Americans have been invited to attend the first launch. (Goodyear has promised in production the airship will have optional pedals for the passengers to use as an optional inflight option. Optionally.)
Invitees are still suspicious, however have agreed to attempt to squeeze out of their giant "SUVs" and waddle over to the boarding escalator.
An assortment of... "large" North Americans have been invited to attend the first launch. (Goodyear has promised in production the airship will have optional pedals for the passengers to use as an optional inflight option. Optionally.)
Invitees are still suspicious, however have agreed to attempt to squeeze out of their giant "SUVs" and waddle over to the boarding escalator.
LockH
1 PW
Carenomics in Plain Engrish
(Sorry, talking head/text only)
Hi. I'm ("LFP", "Justin" somebuddy, etc., etc., etc. Inset name here.)
This is Car-enomics in Plain Engrish (sp?), where I answer your questions about getting buzzed and dineros, etc. in plain engrish (sp?).
You asked: Why are "cars" (the horseless carriage, etc.) so expensive?
"It's a good question. But the first question I had in response is, expensive compared to what? Compared to the stuff ("cars", etc. See above.) that you drive off the dealers lot (any reference to that guy on the corner are entirely coincidental), the vehicle itself is not that expensive to manufacture."
(Etc. Sorry, this a rough draft, to be continued.)
PS. In keeping with my new struggle to be Master of the Electric Bicycle Promotion, the above might be termed "subliminal advertising".
If the next time you are viewing some television commercial for a Burp Filter (TM) and think (chuckle, guffaw, etc.) of this joke, Congratulations! (You've been had.)
(Sorry, talking head/text only)
Hi. I'm ("LFP", "Justin" somebuddy, etc., etc., etc. Inset name here.)
This is Car-enomics in Plain Engrish (sp?), where I answer your questions about getting buzzed and dineros, etc. in plain engrish (sp?).
You asked: Why are "cars" (the horseless carriage, etc.) so expensive?
"It's a good question. But the first question I had in response is, expensive compared to what? Compared to the stuff ("cars", etc. See above.) that you drive off the dealers lot (any reference to that guy on the corner are entirely coincidental), the vehicle itself is not that expensive to manufacture."
(Etc. Sorry, this a rough draft, to be continued.)
PS. In keeping with my new struggle to be Master of the Electric Bicycle Promotion, the above might be termed "subliminal advertising".
If the next time you are viewing some television commercial for a Burp Filter (TM) and think (chuckle, guffaw, etc.) of this joke, Congratulations! (You've been had.)
LockH
1 PW
In 2011, in the US alone there were 32,367 maybe unjustified homicides by using the car (or self-inflicted).
(Numbers from other countries still flooding in. And should NOT to be confused with current ads from *those* others, the "anti-gun" people, that I shoot on sight myself.)
(Numbers from other countries still flooding in. And should NOT to be confused with current ads from *those* others, the "anti-gun" people, that I shoot on sight myself.)
LockH
1 PW
All grrrls love a sailor (some of them may be ebike riders on shore).
LockH
1 PW
Introducing the new GERA Electric Bicycle television commercial (targetted for those that can still see, I guess).
Drive Dumb, Waste Tons! (Lock in at Zero Centavos (or one-hundreth of a centum, should any Romans be reading this? - Spanish language version - Per "Liter" - some might confuse this ad with that darned French guy.)
(Readers should note this message bears NO relation to some current advertising by that fossil fueled "car" outfit
[youtube]g9_H6hjEYD0[/youtube]
Drive Dumb, Waste Tons! (Lock in at Zero Centavos (or one-hundreth of a centum, should any Romans be reading this? - Spanish language version - Per "Liter" - some might confuse this ad with that darned French guy.)
(Readers should note this message bears NO relation to some current advertising by that fossil fueled "car" outfit
[youtube]g9_H6hjEYD0[/youtube]
LockH
1 PW
It happened on March 22:
1457 - Gutenberg Bible became the first printed book. Many trees looked on disturbed. The cyperus (a large genus of about 600 species of sedges, including papyruses, distributed throughout all continents in both tropical and temperate regions) weedy stuff looked alarmed collectively.
1895 - Auguste and Louis Lumiere showed their first movie to an invited audience in Paris. (sorry. Slipped in there.)
1903 - Niagara Falls ran out of water due to a drought. (I never said it was a "happy" Diary.)
1915 - A German zeppelin made a night raid on Paris railway stations.
(Hehe. Currently, the subject of discussion elsewhere.)
1919 - The first international airline service was inaugurated on a weekly schedule between Paris and Brussels. (DELAG, Deutsche Luftschiffahrts-Aktiengesellschaft was the world's first airline. It was founded on November 16, 1909 with government assistance, and operated airships manufactured by The *cough, cough* zeppelin *cough, cough* cor(puscle).
(Hehe. Sorry again, but again, currently the subject of discussion elsewhere.)
1933 - U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed a bill legalizing the sale and possession of beer and wine containing up to 3.2% alcohol, and ebikes.
1941 - The Grand Coulee Dam in Washington began operations. (Per that Wickid Pee thingee, it is the largest electric power-producing facility in the United States and one of the largest concrete structures in the world.)
Goes on:
1978 - Karl Wallenda, of the Flying Wallendas, fell to his death while walking a cable strung between to hotels in San Juan, Puerto Rico (narrowly missing an ebike. He didn't appreciated zeppelins anyway.)
1990 - A jury in Anchorage, Alaska, found Captain Hazelwood not guilty in the Valdez oil spill. (Skip explained that "car" addicts were contributing.)
March 22 Birthdays
Chico Marx 1887 - 1961
(It's funny to see HIS name HERE.)
Actress and ebiker Reese Witherspoon is 38 today.
Actor William Shatner is 83 today. (Apparently acting captain of a tourist ebike-pulled sight-seeing rickshaw-ing crew was taken.)
Country singer Glen Campbell is 78 today (some may or may not have any Rhinestones on any of their clothing - or on their ebike(s).
National Goof Off Day (like, as if some ebikers need any "sleep" interruptions, with any "being serious" business.)
Thanks for shopping any ebikes or parts and service shops and enjoy your Saturday! (Well it was Saturday, a while ago.)
1457 - Gutenberg Bible became the first printed book. Many trees looked on disturbed. The cyperus (a large genus of about 600 species of sedges, including papyruses, distributed throughout all continents in both tropical and temperate regions) weedy stuff looked alarmed collectively.
1895 - Auguste and Louis Lumiere showed their first movie to an invited audience in Paris. (sorry. Slipped in there.)
1903 - Niagara Falls ran out of water due to a drought. (I never said it was a "happy" Diary.)
1915 - A German zeppelin made a night raid on Paris railway stations.
(Hehe. Currently, the subject of discussion elsewhere.)
1919 - The first international airline service was inaugurated on a weekly schedule between Paris and Brussels. (DELAG, Deutsche Luftschiffahrts-Aktiengesellschaft was the world's first airline. It was founded on November 16, 1909 with government assistance, and operated airships manufactured by The *cough, cough* zeppelin *cough, cough* cor(puscle).
(Hehe. Sorry again, but again, currently the subject of discussion elsewhere.)
1933 - U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed a bill legalizing the sale and possession of beer and wine containing up to 3.2% alcohol, and ebikes.
1941 - The Grand Coulee Dam in Washington began operations. (Per that Wickid Pee thingee, it is the largest electric power-producing facility in the United States and one of the largest concrete structures in the world.)
Goes on:
(Some old ebikers may or may not have seemed grumpy by then.)
1978 - Karl Wallenda, of the Flying Wallendas, fell to his death while walking a cable strung between to hotels in San Juan, Puerto Rico (narrowly missing an ebike. He didn't appreciated zeppelins anyway.)
1990 - A jury in Anchorage, Alaska, found Captain Hazelwood not guilty in the Valdez oil spill. (Skip explained that "car" addicts were contributing.)
March 22 Birthdays
Chico Marx 1887 - 1961
(It's funny to see HIS name HERE.)
Actress and ebiker Reese Witherspoon is 38 today.
Actor William Shatner is 83 today. (Apparently acting captain of a tourist ebike-pulled sight-seeing rickshaw-ing crew was taken.)
Country singer Glen Campbell is 78 today (some may or may not have any Rhinestones on any of their clothing - or on their ebike(s).
National Goof Off Day (like, as if some ebikers need any "sleep" interruptions, with any "being serious" business.)
Thanks for shopping any ebikes or parts and service shops and enjoy your Saturday! (Well it was Saturday, a while ago.)
LockH
1 PW
"Electric scooters are a threat to the auto industry."
(The description I added in posting this pic on the online forum for the Toronto Electric Riders Assoc. some years ago.)
"HEY! Look at the damage that so and so caused (to my giant "SUV")! I'll sue!" (You know, if that rider is still living.)
(The description I added in posting this pic on the online forum for the Toronto Electric Riders Assoc. some years ago.)
"HEY! Look at the damage that so and so caused (to my giant "SUV")! I'll sue!" (You know, if that rider is still living.)
LockH
1 PW
It happened on March 23:
1919 - The Italian National Fascist Party. Benito Mussolini establishes the Fascist Party, just 2 years later in 1922 they took over power in Italy and ruled until 1943. (Of course, some might rudely suggest today in "North America" some governments are also "fascist", especially to the ebiker.)
1942 - Japanese-Americans Evacuated: More than 600 Japanese "aliens" and Japanese-Americans from the Pacific Coast assembled at Pasadena's Rose Bowl under military orders to evacuate to a camp in Owens Valley, California.. (Japanese subsequently get revenge. See "Honda", "Mazda", "Nissan", etc.)
1963 - Peace Talks: An offer to schedule peace talks in Seoul, Korea was made by minister Won Woo. ("Western" countries capitulate, and agree to buy Korean product. See "Kia", etc.)
1981 - Supreme Court Abortion Ruling: The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that states could require, with some exceptions, parental notification when teenage boyz and grrrls seek "abortions" (aka the 20th-century horseless carriage).
2009 - Mount Redoubt volcano Eruption: The Mount Redoubt volcano in Alaska has erupted again, and sent a cloud of ash to around 50,000 feet. (Some may think Planet Dirt is NOT happy.)
(See also the "Second invasion" - eg Toyota/Yamaha electric bike, Honda "Step" (electric bike). Many in North America just turn back to watching "their" fav sports team/competition, and "Honey" brings them another beer.)
Burp.
And Birthdaze?:
1645 - William Kidd, Pirate Legend From Scotland (Who may have an ebiker, if the tech were around at that time).
1898 - Hazel Dawn, [LaTout], Utah, actress (Niobe, Under Cover, Feud Girl, I Wanna be an Ebiker Grrrl.)
1921 - Donald Malcome Campbell, Surrey UK, boat racer (1955 speed records, and suspected ebike rider - on shore, I mean.)
1933 - Monique van Vooren, Belgium, actress (Andy Warhol's Frankenstein, plus suspected wannabe ebiker grrrl. )
1937 - Craig Breedlove, LA, auto-racing champion (613 MPH-Spirit of America. Sadly, his ebike was pretty darned quick also, but is NOT on display in the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago. Some old ebikers grumble.)
1949 - Ric Ocasek, Balt, rock vocalist (and lesser know for his Alt. Group Ebikes-Double Life, Bye Bye Love)
1958 - Etienne De Wilde, Belgian cyclist (Last seen riding his electric bicycle. Also mentioned by Jan Cappelle in his seminal Belgian 2008 paper "Performance Analysis of Pedal Electric Cycles: an Objective and Subjective Approach", here
https://lirias.kuleuven.be/bitstream/123456789/278479/1/PhDdef.pdf
1963 - Ana Quirot, Cuba, 800m runner (Olympics-bronze/silver-92, 96)
(Gave up running, when she figured out ebikes are waaay quicker.)
1972 - Jennifer K Chapman, Miss USA Ebiker - Massachusetts (1997)
(Sorry of I missed any ebiking luminaries here. Or anywhere.)
1919 - The Italian National Fascist Party. Benito Mussolini establishes the Fascist Party, just 2 years later in 1922 they took over power in Italy and ruled until 1943. (Of course, some might rudely suggest today in "North America" some governments are also "fascist", especially to the ebiker.)
1942 - Japanese-Americans Evacuated: More than 600 Japanese "aliens" and Japanese-Americans from the Pacific Coast assembled at Pasadena's Rose Bowl under military orders to evacuate to a camp in Owens Valley, California.. (Japanese subsequently get revenge. See "Honda", "Mazda", "Nissan", etc.)
1963 - Peace Talks: An offer to schedule peace talks in Seoul, Korea was made by minister Won Woo. ("Western" countries capitulate, and agree to buy Korean product. See "Kia", etc.)
1981 - Supreme Court Abortion Ruling: The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that states could require, with some exceptions, parental notification when teenage boyz and grrrls seek "abortions" (aka the 20th-century horseless carriage).
2009 - Mount Redoubt volcano Eruption: The Mount Redoubt volcano in Alaska has erupted again, and sent a cloud of ash to around 50,000 feet. (Some may think Planet Dirt is NOT happy.)
(See also the "Second invasion" - eg Toyota/Yamaha electric bike, Honda "Step" (electric bike). Many in North America just turn back to watching "their" fav sports team/competition, and "Honey" brings them another beer.)
Burp.
And Birthdaze?:
1645 - William Kidd, Pirate Legend From Scotland (Who may have an ebiker, if the tech were around at that time).
1898 - Hazel Dawn, [LaTout], Utah, actress (Niobe, Under Cover, Feud Girl, I Wanna be an Ebiker Grrrl.)
1921 - Donald Malcome Campbell, Surrey UK, boat racer (1955 speed records, and suspected ebike rider - on shore, I mean.)
1933 - Monique van Vooren, Belgium, actress (Andy Warhol's Frankenstein, plus suspected wannabe ebiker grrrl. )
1937 - Craig Breedlove, LA, auto-racing champion (613 MPH-Spirit of America. Sadly, his ebike was pretty darned quick also, but is NOT on display in the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago. Some old ebikers grumble.)
1949 - Ric Ocasek, Balt, rock vocalist (and lesser know for his Alt. Group Ebikes-Double Life, Bye Bye Love)
1958 - Etienne De Wilde, Belgian cyclist (Last seen riding his electric bicycle. Also mentioned by Jan Cappelle in his seminal Belgian 2008 paper "Performance Analysis of Pedal Electric Cycles: an Objective and Subjective Approach", here
https://lirias.kuleuven.be/bitstream/123456789/278479/1/PhDdef.pdf
1963 - Ana Quirot, Cuba, 800m runner (Olympics-bronze/silver-92, 96)
(Gave up running, when she figured out ebikes are waaay quicker.)
1972 - Jennifer K Chapman, Miss USA Ebiker - Massachusetts (1997)
(Sorry of I missed any ebiking luminaries here. Or anywhere.)
LockH
1 PW
1847 - Al (Alexander Graham) Bell born. (that dingaling... Little known fact maybe, he organized the Aerial Experimental Association, and among its members, Glenn Curtiss, a famous motorcycle racer, who was appointed director of experiments, and experimented in electric traction - he was considered a visionary by some.)
1989 - Not a good day for Joseph Hazelwood, the captain of the Valdez (accused by some of dreaming about ebikes on this day.)
(Slow day today in history. Sorry. Anybuddy on Alt. Planet "ES" make any? - in electric traction I mean, obviously.)
1989 - Not a good day for Joseph Hazelwood, the captain of the Valdez (accused by some of dreaming about ebikes on this day.)
(Slow day today in history. Sorry. Anybuddy on Alt. Planet "ES" make any? - in electric traction I mean, obviously.)
LockH
1 PW
Seen elsewhere:
7 Signs Divorced Couples Say They Missed:
"My husband stopped going places with me without his ebike - family functions, work events, dinner parties." - Meredith T., Philadelphia
"Whenever I walked in the door, my husband greeted me by yelling - about the phone bill, disorganized cabinets, the latest battery chemistry, anything and everything!" - Judy L., Pittsburgh
"She invited my in-laws on every vacation instead of having us spend time alone together. (They both rode ebikes.)" - Nate S., Charlotte, NC
"He always spent money on things without telling me-on tools, electronics, etc. for his darned ebike. The tipping point was when he bought his mom an ebike and didn't understand why I felt angry and betrayed when I found out." - Sonya S., Palo Alto, CA
"I started confiding in friends and family about his "relationship issues" with ebikes instead of dealing with them directly with my husband." - Tracie T., San Francisco
""Whenever I gave her a suggestion--about a problem she was having at work, or with her ebike, about a new restaurant we should try---she would get defensive or brush it off. But when someone else offered the same input via E.S., she thought they were so smart and helpful." - Paul G. Chicago
"We started going to bed at different times to avoid having sex with his ebike at the same time." - Tracy T., New York City
7 Signs Divorced Couples Say They Missed:
"My husband stopped going places with me without his ebike - family functions, work events, dinner parties." - Meredith T., Philadelphia
"Whenever I walked in the door, my husband greeted me by yelling - about the phone bill, disorganized cabinets, the latest battery chemistry, anything and everything!" - Judy L., Pittsburgh
"She invited my in-laws on every vacation instead of having us spend time alone together. (They both rode ebikes.)" - Nate S., Charlotte, NC
"He always spent money on things without telling me-on tools, electronics, etc. for his darned ebike. The tipping point was when he bought his mom an ebike and didn't understand why I felt angry and betrayed when I found out." - Sonya S., Palo Alto, CA
"I started confiding in friends and family about his "relationship issues" with ebikes instead of dealing with them directly with my husband." - Tracie T., San Francisco
""Whenever I gave her a suggestion--about a problem she was having at work, or with her ebike, about a new restaurant we should try---she would get defensive or brush it off. But when someone else offered the same input via E.S., she thought they were so smart and helpful." - Paul G. Chicago
"We started going to bed at different times to avoid having sex with his ebike at the same time." - Tracy T., New York City
LockH
1 PW
"Ebikes, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that."
(One of repeated out takes from the 1979 movie "Apocalypse Now", when actor Robert as the character "Kilgore" repeatedly apparently kept thinking about his ebike.)
(One of repeated out takes from the 1979 movie "Apocalypse Now", when actor Robert as the character "Kilgore" repeatedly apparently kept thinking about his ebike.)
LockH
1 PW
"Ancient Poop Reveals Desert Island's Secret Past"
(Now seen here, plus elsewhere.)
(Now seen here, plus elsewhere.)
LockH
1 PW
News Flash! Energizer Bunny pulled over riding his electric bicycle!
(Charged with battery.)
(Charged with battery.)
LockH
1 PW
Race on the Rock at Marble Mountain.
Here:
http://www.thewesternstar.com/News/Regional/2014-03-29/article-3669781/Race-on-the-Rock-at-Marble-Mountain./1
Some old ebiker dudes that race uphill sneer at those that blow exhaust in EVerybuddys faces (air they breath, and noisily to boot). Yeah, they think to themselves, a TOTAL DRAG.
Here:
http://www.thewesternstar.com/News/Regional/2014-03-29/article-3669781/Race-on-the-Rock-at-Marble-Mountain./1
Some old ebiker dudes that race uphill sneer at those that blow exhaust in EVerybuddys faces (air they breath, and noisily to boot). Yeah, they think to themselves, a TOTAL DRAG.
LockH
1 PW
"One-Way Mars Colony Project to Simulate Red Planet on Earth"
Here:
http://www.space.com/25272-mars-one-colony-red-planet-simulators.html?cmpid=556792
In part:
Here:
http://www.space.com/25272-mars-one-colony-red-planet-simulators.html?cmpid=556792
In part:
LockH
1 PW
Some crazy old guy/dud (sp?) passing that had nEVer seem an electric vehicle before:
