The Ebiker Joke thread...

Gas prices soar in California as supply shrinks
 
In ES Newz "United States is running out of room to store oil"

(Gas companies blame ebikers)
 
In news "U.S. Gas Pump Prices Rising Five Times Faster Than Crude Oil"

(How to make the cost of EBikery seem "more attractive".)
 
[youtube]vUKolh8Q9hA[/youtube]
 
Seen in news elsewhere: Hyundai Considers Second U.S. Assembly Plant
SEOUL, Korea--Hyundai Motor Co. is considering setting up a second plant in the United States in an effort to boost production of full-size vehicles in line with rising demand from full-sized north Americans.
 
In recent newz:
"TORONTO -- Ontario commuters will have to "do their part" to avoid gridlock during this summer's Pan Am and Parapan Games, which will bring hundreds of thousands of people to a region already struggling with congestion, the province's transportation minister said last week.

Officials are banking on a 20 per cent reduction in traffic -- through carpooling, transit use and "other means".

(Car industry officials cry in their beers while "ebike" sellers dance in the streets.)
 
"US scientists have mapped 29,777 instances of roadkill across California":
http://www.vox.com/2015/4/4/8341263/roadkill-maps

In unrelated news:
"BEIJING -- Auto accidents have killed 26 people and injured nine others in two Chinese provinces over the weekend."
 
Natural_Born_Heros.jpg

... "Strength and Endurance"? New Ebike-related book timed for release to coincide with the re-release of the 1994 American crime film "Natural Born Killers" where folks ride around in cars.
 
LockH said:
"US scientists have mapped 29,777 instances of roadkill across California":
http://www.vox.com/2015/4/4/8341263/roadkill-maps

In unrelated news:
"BEIJING -- Auto accidents have killed 26 people and injured nine others in two Chinese provinces over the weekend."
Makes one wonder how many fatalities were on bicycles hit by motor vehicles. Chinese motorists have lots of cyclists to aim for. :twisted:
Those are also some interesting sideline stories about container ships and US Army tattoo policy. 8)
 
In ES Newz, or seen elsewhere or somewhere... Doctors Warn about the Dangers of Secondhand Smoke! (Vehicle operators spewing poisonous gases as burned up/wasted fossil fuels all over the neighboorhood.)
 
^^^ Hehe...
http://www.canadiancar.technomuses.ca/eng/frise_chronologique-timeline/1970/
"1971 The Canadian Parliament passes the Motor Vehicle Safety Act.
In cooperation with provincial and national safety and standards organizations, Transport Canada developed national safety standards for the design and construction all motor vehicles. The Motor Vehicle Safety Act came into effect on January 1, 1971."

(No cyclists were harmed in the forming of this Act.)
... or involved in?
 
I'm reminded of the Ebiker Nation (bloody time/space travelers) watching (colorized, originally B&W) early versions of BBC TVs "Doctor Who" via Youtube (Series One, Episode one, from 1963):
[youtube]776uEKY_V0M[/youtube]

(Left England to return to the colonies (Canada) about that time, but regardless, had to wonder watt the fuss was all about, as DOD (father) refused to get a first family Brit. "telly" ("television", for you Foreigners), declaring them "Boob Tubes" (not to be confused with many/most "TV" shows of today). He only caved when a neighboor complained re my sitting outside his window to watch "his" ("CRT" television).

...But Fantasy soooo much more fun/easier to "take" than Reality.
 
Local newz:
"Both hydro (ED: electricity) rates and the ORPP (Ontario Retirement Pension Plan) have been identified through Ontario Chamber of Commerce surveys as the largest barriers for Ontario businesses."

(Businesses blame ebikers. "My kids have to pay extra to play their video games!" ... and suggest folks shouldn't retire until they've reached 150 years of age.)
 
Oooops. NOT ebike-related, but seen on the W-W-W "session-level capabilities enbabled:" (Thought it was only I that babbled!)
 
Had a thought just now. (Yah. Oh oh. WattEVer) Lately been carrying `round in travels (around my neck on a "gold" metal chain) watt I suspect is a legit "sound signaling device" for local shore-based vehicular traffic. Sailors used to use the "Boatswain's Call" breath whistle to pass along reports and attentions through the dins of battle (the "crew activities" Hehe).
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boatswain's_call







(Or dins of "modern" urban spaces, seems like. Once got neighbourhood dogs... "awake" and "talking" (barking) . Once turned heads clear across a (urban, noisy) park valley. Thought there was a joke in here. Somewhere)

Haven't yet "tested" in Courts.
 
In ES Newz, Canadian Gov:
Friday, May 15, 2015, 1:43 PM - Environment Minister Leona Aglukkaq announced Friday that Canada aims to reduce carbon emissions 30 per cent by the year 2030.

Plans apparently include encouraging cities to join a growing list of "car free" (aka diseasal fossil fuel-powered "SUV", "Stinko-Mobile", etc.) communities AND that EVerybuddy ride that Bettery-Electric `Cycle thingee. (Details to follow.)


(EDIT: And sorry if "diesel" spelled incorrectly here. Again.)
 
In other Newz, "Death in Your State: Map Shows 'Most Distinctive' Causes" (so as not to "upset", traffic injuries and deaths omitted from map):
http://www.livescience.com/50837-most-distinctive-causes-death-united-states.html

Other than "smoking", "car accidents" still King:
preventable-death-chart.jpg


(Since taking up snuff tobacco, unsure where "nonsmoking" fits on list.)
EDIT (again. This re tins from "Over `Ohm" as English friend used to say. Or something like that. These folks):
http://www.mcchrystals.co.uk/
 
ht_baby_car_lb_150513_16x9_992.jpg


In Newz, "Massachusetts Dad Realizes He Forgot 1-Year-Old Baby in Car, Calls 911 From Train" (Admitted later "those cars all looked the same to me" and "train was going to leave without me".)
 
markz said:
Why did the ebiker cross the road?
Oh oh. Flashing cross light to stop other traffic? (Walking, or?)



(Also "Who's There?" ie in immediate vicinity of ebiker.)



(... also re if a "Knock Knock" joke, I guess.)




(PS... Might that "hottie" that rides an ebike be going the other way maybe?)


`Kay. I give up.
 
Dunno where on ES to stuff this one... (NOT "ebike"-related at all). But on the theory "It's better to laugh than to cry" (about the sad state of NA traffic/transportation these daze). RIP Robin, whereEVer you are:
[youtube]w0V0U4_LavI[/youtube]

(Production Auditor: Larrie C. Anderson)
 
Just now "About 4,200 results (0.46 seconds)" (using WWW search engine Giggle (sp?) for word "diseasal").
 
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