Buying forest land, implementing solar

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swbluto wrote:
I didn't really have a problem with girls hitting on me back then. Still don't, lol. When I actually go after a girl,wow, they fold fast. I would like to believe it's "all my training", but... I don't know... I think I just have the gift, it comes naturally. I don't know how much my historical transgender preferences has to do with this; like... maybe I'm secretly a girl in a guy's body, and that's why they come so easy to me. We're just all on the same page, lol. (Some girl once told me, "Oh sorry, I thought were a girl", lol. really? No, unlike a competing male, I don't think she was trying to insult me, she literally thought like I talked like a girl.)

Talk/type all the same.
It's still in question!

Dan
 
DAND214 said:
swbluto wrote:
I didn't really have a problem with girls hitting on me back then. Still don't, lol. When I actually go after a girl,wow, they fold fast. I would like to believe it's "all my training", but... I don't know... I think I just have the gift, it comes naturally. I don't know how much my historical transgender preferences has to do with this; like... maybe I'm secretly a
girl in a guy's body, and that's why they come so easy to me. We're just all on the same page, lol. (Some girl once told me, "Oh sorry, I thought were a girl", lol. really? No, unlike a competing male, I don't think she was trying to insult me, she literally thought like I talked like a girl.)
Talk/type all the same.
It's still in question!

Dan

Lol, whatever. I'm not sure if you know... 90% of it is internal game. If you believe in yourself /and/ act on it, things will happen. The only thing I don't need is cocksucking competing males undercutting my ability to believe in myself, lol, so don't worry... I take lots of people in this thread on certain subjects with a grain of salt.

And I just recently saw my "I want you" look... oooohhhh... sweat dripping off hitting the pavement steaming on contact. No wonder why she fell, lol.

It's actually important to think that no girl's outside your realm; the moment you start limiting yourself, is an admission you're unworthy on some level, and /that/ is what really limits you. That internal game. So, you see an attractive girl, don't hold back. She'll admire your guts like any girl. That's one of the keys - fearlessness.

I'm not suggesting you go after some girl you don't click with. Jeez, I personally don't find a girl I don't click with to be attractive to begin with, so that's not usually a problem for me. Usually the attraction builds sometime after the clicking happens and it culminates, crescendos and erupts like a volcano. And, that's one of my issues - there doesn't seem to be a lot of girls I 'click with' even if many of them may apparently like me, so I don't necessarily find a whole lot females that attractive. So when I do, holy crap, I feel like the luckiest person on earth. Which is why, out of all the females I've met, I keep thinking of her. Not because she's the only girl I've met that was interested in me, but she was one of the few I clicked with, and she could play me like a piano, and I could play her like a violin. (I get the strange sense that older versions of girls like her find themselves in Portland so maybe I should be thinking of moving to Portland, lol. Gee, if only moving somewhere was a matter of cultural preference, lol. I don't even like the culture of oregon, but, I do seem to like the kind of people that portland attracts. I hate admitting that too, all the homeless youth there. But, they got nice bike paths that pretty much go everywhere in the city. And, the reflection of the downtown lights on the rivers is pretty neat.)

This isn't really something I have to think through on a conscious level. I just know I'm better than this girl and I want her, and you just got to let her know, don't hold back.

But right now, I'm focusing more on the monetary part of...

ebcddd691d2da0708b231eaaa0f59728417cac6e666b40970b887e46b030d57e.jpg


And right now is planning. Bunches of planning.

Once the weaknesses/risks are minimized, execute. Further marketing strategies can be identified later.

And, I'm on a best 80s rock binge tonight. Here's the playlist (I was looking for the "Every breath you take" song; it was played so much in my house as a kid. As well as a lot of songs on this playlist, funny enough.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4N1iwQxiHrs&list=PL90b28qTMGqIle4NmUvaAUtj20lAPETzE
 
When she turned around after making her subtle moaning sound, slightly biting her lip and exposing her backside, I just tilted my head to the side and just kind of opened my mouth a little wide and just let out a silent "aaawwww" while bringing a clenched fist upto my mouth, lol. That just doesn't happen that often, lol. Girls have presented themselves provactively in my presence before, but never was I like "Oh god, so sexy". Makes me wonder if that's what strip bar experiences are like.

And, yeah, I was using something of a sexy voice leading upto that point. I don't know how to describe it... smooth, deep and grovelly? I guess it turned her on.

I would normally think if I were in a stripbar, I would think the pole-dancing was kind of cool, but... I don't think I'd be turned on like that.

Anyway interesting article on clicking. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1307193/The-secrets-romance-What-exactly-does-make-CLICK.html

I'd say we were both pretty honest with each other.
 
[youtube]zLHhAvkz7uY[/youtube]

Interesting combination of thoughts. The need to "Beat Them" and looking for a girl. I can give you a better story than that 'Subtle Moaning Sound' thingee --- Of course "I take lots of people in this thread on certain subjects with a grain of salt" means you just dismiss anything you don't win. However:

For the sake of brevity, there's some lead in to how I know her that would probably be helpful but I'll leave out. It was just that maybe this time last year or a bit later she had the coworker that wouldn't leave her alone. Basically he was just always getting right up on top of her demanding her attention when he started feeling a little jealous. He being a busboy and her at least one rung of the ladder up as a waitress. The management was no help whatsoever. So she enlists my aid in a role I know so well. I'm supposed to be the make believe boyfriend this guy feels he can't compete with. Again to keep it short, it worked like a charm.

So at the beginning of the year a different sort of a challenge arose. There was this older guy working at the door checking ID that gave her a job. Seems he got divorced and had the resulting money trouble so he took a 2nd job at night, but he had a parttime job she would work during the day. Which was thrilling her to death, she started talking about going back to college, a real major this time, etc. But you see, there was this problem. He's been around long enough to do a better job of getting possessive than this kid did. There was no missing that guys her own age would turn up and starting talking to her, he'd go over and get a little menacing, etc. She was trying hard to ignore the problem. And she doesn't like me telling her it's only going to get worse with him.

So I went in there one night and I watched as these two guys got up around the railing of the patio and she went over and talked to them over the railing. But she had to get back to work. Meanwhile goofball felt threatened, so he went over to shoo them off. One of them was a kewl customer, he just led the other guy inside and sat down. Which pisses off goofball. I wasn't close enough to really hear what he's saying, but there's no missing he's trying to bully them and the one guy was brilliant, making it plain he wasn't going to be bullied, but he WOULD be entertained by it all. Of course the girl in question sees this transpiring and runs over there seeing unusually stern for when these situations come up. Goofball slunk away. I'm going to end up wondering if this was a setup.

So I end up asking her if she's still going to deny there's something wrong there. She starts telling me about earlier in the week. Let's just describe the guy who walked in as a few years younger than her. All goofball knows is that she'd run over to him rather enthusiastically, at least I'd guess from the way she told the story. Then she went off. Goofball didn't like that, so he launched into action. The kid wasn't going to take it, but goofball wasn't going to take any backtalk. In walks a guy old enough to be the kids' father --- Which he was. So the 'You're not talking to MY son that way' ensues. I guess there was a bit of a row going when she returns. Guess who else the guy was old enough to be the father of. And yes, the kid was her brother.

So it had finally hit close enough to home that she had to admit there was a problem, hence his instant response to this one when she went over there angry. I might guess she asked Mr. Self Assured to bring a friend and be a target so she could see what happened, but maybe that's just the way I think. I pointed out to her she was going to have to quit that job, from the look I'd say she realized I was right even if she didn't want to think about it. The guy didn't last much longer, I'd assume she got away safely but I don't know her THAT well that I grill her on such a touchy subject.

So this leads up to a few weeks ago, not long after the nonsense with goofball ended. Here's this guy, what you might call a usual suspect, trying to chat her up. She's a real target sort of personality; relatively cute, lively, a bit lost. The kind where the older guys tell themselves they can control her, the younger guys are determined to get her to feel sorry for them. And of course a girl like that always wonders 'Why always ME?'

So I'd say she was a bit anxious to tear herself away. It was slow, she had nothing to run off and do, but still a relief to have what some actors I have known have called a real live Christopher Durang character walk up to the next table and sit behind him. Being a ilttle Durangish herself she says "Have you decided what you want YET or do you need ANOTHER menu?" I respond where I don't know what I want yet because she hasn't told me. So this exchange gets the attention of the guy, who had his back to me. He had a couple friends facing my way, there eyes got kind of big. Not half as big as his as she walked away giggling and he looked at me.

He sheepishly asks "How are you tonight?" I respond something like I get the feeling I must be doing great, which really hits home with him. Here's the third guy who can't just relax and talk to her. Making his own problems. What a shock to him to see how easy it could be. Ah, but that's only so long as I'm not trying to take advantage of the situation, eh? I have a long history of it being real easy to talk to them. Not that it does me any good.

I don't think limiting yourself is the real consideration. If you ever saw the final episode of 'Friends,' it's 10 years after Rachel first went to work at Central Perk for Gunther, who at last takes his hopeless shot at asking her out. Not because it was reasonable to do so, but because it was to be the last time his character would ever see hers and the writers just wanted to indulge themselves. He had been well aware there was no point through the entire show.

Meanwhile, these first two guys were very much in need of some self limiting. The third I might think at least has more chance than the first two, maybe by recognizing there's a problem he can think of a solution. Or not, but at least he won't screw it up by being a blundering fool.

Oh yeah, your girl there is maybe part Phillipino by virtue of a father who was in the military or something finding a wife over there and bringing her home, the Dad's cousin then having a blonde haired son easy enough. Voila, the same last name but looking nothing alike. Oh, put your damn salt away, already.

Ah well. If you REALLY want someone to beat just by marching. . . .

[youtube]NPH-_LVlxmc[/youtube]
 
Well, just talked to some local workers and they have noticed a slowdown. With small signs here and there (People selling their large assets, like RVs and trailer homes in the immediate area) of something in that vein, and with the notable reduction in $/views and orders/views in the last two weeks, I think I can confidently predict we're at the start of a recession. It'd be nice if I could find online data on this that definitively suggests it. Anyway, it'd explain the reason why my current platform has been experimenting in upsetting ways - they noticed a slowdown in sales and they're trying to appease to customer demands in an effort to pick back up sales. So, time to cut back and... when the going gets tough, the tough gets going. Need to get down to business to drum up business. Time for active expansion in all directions and applying for local employment. I don't know how available local employment would be, but I've seen enough help wanted signs suggesting there's something out there in this area. Unlike Spokane... lol... anemic economy, even throughout the 'rebound', it's just going to enter a death spiral when this one hits, lol. (Granted, there's no suggestion it /should/ be as bad as the previous one... but... there's been unprecedented changes to the economy and monetary base, so it's hard for me to predict.)

I've not really been busy with expansion because I thought my slowdown was reflective of changes I made and thus it should bounce back soon enough, but I think the timing was just remarkable. I made changes at the exact same time it started, so there's a very good chance my changes had nothing to do with it. Now that I'm aware a "bouncing back" is not particularly likely... I know I need to actively address it. So, yes, time to get busy and I'm definitely getting that shed midge proof. I could take advantage of the lower energy costs with using the shed during the summer, and with a compelling reason to minimize energy use (energy=$), that's happening.

I don't know if this might be a prelude to war, but it's very possible. As much as I don't want to believe war is around the corner, I'd be foolish to ignore all the signs suggesting one is imminent. Perhaps not utterly convincing signs, per se, but persuasive.

Anyway, I'd say I'm about 3 evenings away from clearing the backyard of the fallen trees. It's coming along quickly, got a nice pine tree log pile piling up. After I get trees out, I can start ripping a section of all its stumps (Will probably do by hand), and then start breaking up the ground, tilling it and planting.

And, RV is getting on the driveway tomorrow, at least the first attempt. I really hope I don't /f/ it up, lol, there is certainly opportunity.

So, yes, anyway... the pool / house is now on an uncertain schedule. Just like all those mid-finished construction projects suddenly halted during the last recession. And, while that kind of sucks, I understand that are somethings outside of my control and I must adapt. When I moved here, I certainly didn't expect building a house anyway, so it's not like I'm very disappointed in this regard. But, I really wouldn't mind a room I could walk around in, lol.
 
The state of California keeps touting all this job growth, but the story is unemployment is rising here. I guess all this job creation is temp jobs. Colorado seems to be doing well. http://money.cnn.com/2017/07/19/news/colorado-marijuana-tax-revenue/index.html

Whom are you proposing we go to war with? If some Teddy Roosevelt type was forming his own volunteer cavalry that had a bunch of rich spoiled guys in it, would you join?
 
I kept thinking... her emotions were pretty volatile. They fluctuated quickly and intensely. And she was quick to anger. So I googled and found "Borderline Personality Disorder", characterized by a fear of rejection and having much trust issues.

Aha. Yes, that. That's largely why I withdrew, I could sense her distrust and I knew this wasn't something I was happy with. And, pages describe exactly this dynamic. Mistrust leading to rejection (what I did). Fear of rejection leading to mistrust. ("I don't trust you're not going to reject me")

So, BPD person we have here. I don't want to think that's why I resonated with her (With the 11x increase in vascular issues, I don't really want BPD. But, I know that's not how it works. The pug life chose the pug, the pug didn't choose the pug life.). I find I resonate with Sia's voice for example (Her emotional intensity is like a beacon) and... I don't think she has BPD... but... she very well could, lol. Her song "Elastic heart" is very core to her being and describes something eerily along these lines. And her emotions are intense, just like hers were.

Anyway, this is only for my personal understanding.If I could markit 'private', I would.

https://www.psycom.net/depression.central.borderline.html

Impulsive, risky, self-destructive and dangerous behaviors, including reckless driving, drug or alcohol abuse and having unsafe sex

The "Ho wanting some dick" hypothesis just went up a notch from the title temptress. She's not necessarily a ho because she's horny; but she's looking for excitement. And, I think that's why my impulsive advance just played right into her psyche so well, that 'excitement'.

And, had I pursued it, what might I have seen in my crystal ball?

A history of unstable relationships that can change drastically from intense love and idealization to intense hate

That definitely seems more than likely. But, I'm fully aware that by my avoiding her doesn't necessarily mean I'm avoiding "unstable relationships". And, I mean it very well could, for example had I pursued that Barnes&Noble interestee and it hit off,I have a strong feeling it'd would've been a little more stable than her. But that too also depends; I'm aware that financial stability has a great influence on relational stability, especially in those "resource relationships"(Marriage,etc.), and my financial stability right now is looking unstable, lol, in part reflective of the stability of the overall economy.

In view of this, it is wise to pursue "necessary goods/services" markets. Things people need regardless of how the economy is doing. It doesn't mean that there isn't much money in the other markets, but they are more strongly impacted by economic up/down cycles. But, if you have a great offering, I wouldn't discourage testing the market.

I do think about my own relational history, and "change drastically from intense love and idealization to intense hate" sounds about right, lol. I don't want to believe I have this disorder, at least I don't have it anymore, lol, and I would say I've changed a bit since my 20s. I have place to stay now where I am king - I make the rules and there is no one lording over me. Longterm transportation stability is currently iffy (It takes savings to buy vehicles, and its hard to do that with subsistence income). And longterm food/water stability is somewhat iffy, though I'm not starving right now, and I believe I have much room to maneuver.
 
Dauntless said:
Whom are you proposing we go to war with? If some Teddy Roosevelt type was forming his own volunteer cavalry that had a bunch of rich spoiled guys in it, would you join?

Heck if I know who. I do know that war typically follows some 10 years after a great depression (Did the last world war), so it's getting about the right time. I originally surmised it based on the nuke school incoming population explosion 2 years ago (Quadrupling of indoc size), with the 2 year lead time for nukes. And, the newsfeeds suggest USA is planning fora north korean 'regime change', lol. I'm not sure how a foreign power would implement a regime change without war; I guess they could assassinate the leader, but I don't get the sense that's easy.
 
I thought about what people did back the day to sustain themselves as they searched for new land. And, I realized; they built-up provisions, headed out and staked claim to some available land and farmedit/raised-cattle/whatever.So they didn't need income per se to go "grocery shopping", but they definitely built provisions to last them until they got their food-production, chicken-raising or cattle-raising going.

That's what I don't have right now; built up food stores. I have like a week's worth of canned veggies, lol(Assuming that's all I subsisted off of). Definitely not close to have enough provisions to live off the land; I'd say a good 110 days to grow pretty much anything starting from right now, assuming all efforts went into preparing for farming.
 
swbluto said:
I thought about what people did back the day to sustain themselves as they searched for new land. And, I realized; they built-up provisions, headed out and staked claim to some available land and farmedit/raised-cattle/whatever.So they didn't need income per se to go "grocery shopping", but they definitely built provisions to last them until they got their food-production, chicken-raising or cattle-raising going.

That's what I don't have right now; built up food stores. I have like a week's worth of canned veggies, lol(Assuming that's all I subsisted off of). Definitely not close to have enough provisions to live off the land; I'd say a good 110 days to grow pretty much anything starting from right now, assuming all efforts went into preparing for farming.

Boy, you are that old?
You're remembering what it was life back then.
What can you grow in 10 days that is eatable? Weeds grow fast, I'm sure you can Google that and find a food source there.

If we go to war we are all screwed, except the top maybe 10%! N Korea, maybe. the way it's going, maybe one of our allies, won't know till it's too late.

Dan
 
Lol, I just thought about it rationally when "grocery stores" didn't really readily exist in many parts of the wild wild west. Plus, I have a little Oregon Trails experience back from the early 90s, lol.

OregonTrailScreenshot.png


(Early computer game)

Anyway, while banana shopping, I did some seed shopping and found almost everything had a narrow time window for planting (Usually April-June in these parts). But, there were exceptions: spinach could be grown anytime from September through march and corn could be planted anytime from march-september. So, yep, that's what I can plant /right now/: CORN! lol.

Anyway, I thought about myself a little bit more critically in that situation with her. That moment from making the advance to withdrawal, and then her acting and looking like she had just experienced some absolutely devastating loss (I felt so bad for her seeing her look like that, but I wondered: How does someone fall that deeply that fast? It seems like it'd be humanly impossible FOR ME, anyway.). As if she'd been waiting her entire life for someone like me, then soon ripped away. It looked like the kind of loss/despair one would feel losing ones mother (Except it wasn't quite as prolonged, but the intensity of it matched, yes.)

I thought about it. And, I guess I Idealized her, but then an instant, after seeing her reaction, I guess I really hated her or something. I mean, it was very temporary, this hate, it went back to normal friendly relations within I'd say 20 seconds or so but... that dynamic... seems very much like what I'm reading of BPD. And, I've seen this dynamic in my descriptions of her in here. I may blame it on the irritation from the hot sun or not drinking my cocoa or whatever, but... I don't really think that's what's really going on... I literally think it's one of those things where sometimes thinking of her, I absolutely hate her for no particular reason and misinterpret memories in doing so (I mean, I haven't seen her for over a month so she hasn't given me a reason.), but then othertimes, I really act like the opposite like I love her or something. Anyway, it's just funny.... describing her as BPD but then seeing the BPD within myself and I don't really want BPD because it sounds like a dysfunctional personality type, and for kind of obvious reasons how/why. Further, it's associated with an 11x risk ratio of heart-attack and other cardiovascular complications. So, I may very well be one of those non-dietary edge cases for disease/mortality I was alluding to.

Anyway... yeah just kind of recognizing... these traits I see in her, upon further reflection, I see in current self. Not just my historical self, but the current one as well. It's just that I don't quite realize it until I meet someone like her and she brings out these core personality traits to the fore.

I kind of wonder if that's why meeting her brought about suicidal thoughts in the time days after. Not that I was missing her, per se, but she brought out a situation where I could instinctually understanding my own dysfunctionality in rejecting "my own kind" even though I may not be consciously aware of it at the time and wanting to end it. A dysfunctionality I'm not quite aware of until a particular kind of situation brings it to the forefront and later realizations bring lucid understanding.

Anyway, it's nice... in a way... meeting someone that could bring out these personality traits out from the hidden depths. An opportunity to learn more about 'true' self, I guess,lol. And I could see why I've felt strongly about her as I do, since with her being something of a psychological mirror, she had that power.

And here I am experiencing thesamefeeling of loss she presumedly felt, lol.

Maybe the sales slump is getting to me.Maybe I'm just now really understanding the totality of what's been going on. Maybe yesterday night's realization has been leaving me feeling hopeless lately. I'm not really hopeless, but definitely less hopeful than before the realization. I mean, I see that things are looking good looking in /that/ direction, so I see there's local opportunity... so I know I'm not looking at complete and utter economic ruin or anything.

Then I think... it's a good thing I don't own a gun... but then wait... I actually do,lol. Just kidding, I'm not feeling suicidal, just devastated.

I wouldn't shoot myself with a pellet gun, anyway, I'm not completely confident it'd end my life as quickly and 'painlessly' as I might like. Hours of agonizing pain and ending up as a vegetable on life support sounds like a miserable ending. I guess I'm lucky I don't have the resources and/or not imaginative enough to quickly figure out a way to quickly and painlessly end it when the urge arises. I guess that's a pretty strong reason why I should not get a proper gun and I should be thanking all those salesmen who declined my ability to purchase one 6 months back. Because, I'm feeling confident a shotgun would do the job.

https://www.liveleak.com/view?i=3d5_1310062459

Yep,looks like it.
 
DAND214 said:
Boy, you are that old?
You're remembering what it was life back then.

Paula Deen remembers slavery. Maybe these two were neighbors.

swbluto said:
Lol, I just thought about it rationally when "grocery stores" didn't really readily exist in many parts of the wild wild west. Plus, I have a little Oregon Trails experience back from the early 90s, lol.

OregonTrailScreenshot.png


(Early computer game)

They didn't call it a 'Game' back then, it was a 'Diary.'

Recent artilce in 'New York' magazine on the obsession with how we are all somehow sick. Borderline Personality Disorder was obscure and undesirable in the age where the preference was for 'Bipolar Disorder,' a la 'Manic Depression.' Then Winona Ryder starred in 'Girl Interrupted.' It was so kewl the way she was an honor student and creative and better than everyone else and got to be so uppity to everyone and anything they didn't like about her was because of her Borderline Personality Disorder. Even the fact that she wasn't otherwise mentality ill, the concept of BPD being mental illness for the nonmentally ill, had it very much in demand.

But how do you know she's an honor student type? What's self destructive about her? Volatile emotions are not even a requirement for BPD. Fear of rejection, trust issues, neither absolute in BPD nor exclusive to the mentally ill. Just as so many women fantasize of being BPD, I think you're fantasizing a BPD girlfriend.

You'll be sorry.

[youtube]LegOKwENltc[/youtube]
 
I don't literally mean she's diagnosable as such, lol... and it is questionable if she experiences periods of hate... that much hasn't really been proven... I just suppose that we're just like each other and I know I do and so I assume so. But, the volatile intensity in her emotions and impulsiveness is definitely there and she definitely hints of risky behavior. I think of it more of a personality type that sounds a lot like her reading the list. That's one thing I did notice about the emotions of the girls at nuke school in comparison to her; they all had fairly stable emotions. They weren't always upbeat, sometimes they may've been sad or hostile, but they were all pretty stable.

But, you're probably right... there's no doubt some element of fantasy somewhere.

And, I have no idea why anyone would fantasize a BPD person. If you think I'm fantasizing a BPD girlfriend because I really want that unprotected sex, lol, you'd be kind of wrong... but... you might be kind of right of something in that vein. She definitely gave me the impression she wasn't really /that/ hard, with the way she's throwing herself at guys and I don't think I was the exception. Granted, perhaps she's looking for SOMETHING... a place to stay... an adventure that leads her out of her home environment... but I get the impression she might just be a ho. But, yes,all that remains unproven. A girl flirting with all the guys could just be looking for love, I guess... perhaps she was looking for daddy...

whatever she was looking for, she obviously thought she found with me.

What I was planning on doing... was staring her down for 9 solid seconds, smiling and pulling back and acting like nothing happened.

Nope, that's not what happened. She started making baby noises, and I was thinking "Oh god, let's stop this right now" and I rolled my eyes and shook my head, she then acted like "NOOOO... WHERE ARE YOU GOING! DON'T LEAVE MEEEEE!!!".... lol... yeah, that didn't happen as cleanly as I was anticipating, lol. Anyway, yeah, obviously it was memorable. The look of tremendous loss she had... wow... I felt so bad. (I'll try to describe this look. Gaping mouth, looking downward to the side, switching from left to right, eyes wide open. A look of profound despair.)

funny-cat-dont-leave-me.jpg


I did question how much of her emotional volatility might have been due to her being possibly 16. I was really questioning her age after the perceived immaturity. Indications suggest she was 17 or 18, but she could've been 16. I don't really like the idea she's 16, not just because of plausible legal repercussions involved, but the fact that I'm clicking with her at 16 suggests we may no longer click when she's 18. People change a lot between 16 and 18.

And socksuckers, it's raining rightnow, I can't be clearing out the back this fine evening.

update(took a nap through the rainstorm, sat inside, hadn't really moved for 4-5 hours.):

Okay, I'm going to try implementing a new habit.

I'm going to write down next-day goals on a list at the end of the day,then the day after, I will finish the list until it gets done. Then I will grow or shrink the list depending on how much I think I could get done, so eventually, I should reach near full capacity in terms of daily productivity. One of my insights into being a business person is, "Focus on the things that make you money." And what are those things you ask? My advice is so generic, so maybe it's not quite that bad I share.

1) Market research. What sells? What doesn't?
2) Creating your own better products. Compete on perceived quality, price point or both.
3) Creating excellent pictures - good to maximize the perceived quality through taking excellent pictures. The better your product looks, especially as compared to your competitors, can really make a difference. It's good to be #1 in your verticals.
4) Having a compelling sales script. This is actually really important. You want people to feel comfortable doing business with you and if you can, help them in making an educated choice. The more they feel like you're helping them, the more they might feel like helping you.

That's about it.

Marketing plans/strategies are important, too, you just got to know where the buyers are and be there for them.

One of weaknesses right now is... I've been kind of just depending on business as it comes. So, I've not really been doing anything to maximize my daily productivity. And, with what's been happening on the markets, that's changing fast. So, writing down next-day goals I think will definitely help get things done. I want to write it at the end of day because I'm usually more alive and focused at the end of the day.

And, recently.... with all my self-pity and sleeping all afternoon and not really moving around with the rainstorm... I could definitely tell the cardiac symptoms were picking up. I could definitely feel something thumping during that special moment, and I was getting a light recurrent ache in my left palm along the line of my pinky. Yep, I knew it was time to move, so I just walked a lot and I feel alot more awake now. Carbs aren't an issue... honey doesn't taste great.

I think one of my goals right now is:

Find all the plants I can plant right now in this particular area.I hope I can grow more than corn. I did see already planted tomatos growing at walmart, $12.95 for the plant, pot and the plastic cage, they had little tomatos on them. I would feel tempted to pick up like 40 or 50 of them,but I thought it'd likely be more cost effective growing them from seed. And I want to pickup greenhouse varieties so I can grow them thru the winter.
 
[youtube]KWZGAExj-es[/youtube]

BPD anthem, I think. (I think this might describe as I'm imagining her perspective at that particular moment. It's funny hearing songs like this... and not having anything to relate it to and figure it's some kind of sublime abstract thing I'll never figure out... then suddenly realize I do and it's actually quite simple and I completely understand Sia's peril.)

A highly rated comment.

This is one video that makes me cry every single time I watch it. Yes it can be perceived in many ways either a battle between two parts of herself or her and her fathers relationship.

What the hell? Dude, I'll tell you what this song's about, it's about her getting rejected by guys she wants to love. And, Sia does come across as something of a reject, always hiding her face and pretty consistent hurt/depressed emotional vocals in her music.

I mean I totally understand this "hiding your face" phenomenon. I was doing that all the time when I was young. Not recently, I guess I feel accomplished now or something. I have esteem that I once did not have much of.

I would posit this insisting on my privacy of my backyard to be related... but, then again, probably not. Private backyards is a pretty common feature in suburbs.

Anyway, I think about it, I think she was searching for love. I don't know if she happens to share Sia's peril, and that's why her reaction may have been overly f'ing intense (Like, omg, someone actually loves me?!), but I suspect maybe. Just maybe.

I did previously note her face generally looked like it fit inside the uncanny valley while doing her baby imitations. And, that does seem to be an issue of Sia's. Uncanny valley/Flat-Affect.

Update: In other news, the ambiance of this particular piece of music just reminds me of the ambiance of The Forest Temple in Ocarina of Time. A somewhat bizarre, twisted but yet fascinating experience, like delving into the mysteriously delightful depths of a schizotypally creative mind. A lot of her music has that kind of feel to it.

Update: I looked at the songmeanings for her "She-wolf" guetta song collab, and it's suggested that she has a "wild side" (Her "she wolf") that attracted the wolf (the guy who hunted her down for her flesh, but in the end, he couldn't accept her true self, and she was inevitably romantically rejected). So, the idea of two sides of herself fighting internally as represented by the video is entirely plausible. But, the lyrics in this song, Elastic Heart, are definitely talking about romantic rejection. I think the meaning of this music-video is pretty much identical to she-wolf.

And her song "Chandelier" is a depiction of her "she-wolf", the partying wild-side of her.

[youtube]2vjPBrBU-TM[/youtube]
 
http://www.thevegetablegarden.info/resources/planting-schedules/zones-9-10-planting-schedule

Cool, planting schedule for this area. I practically consider myself zone 9, so this one works.

And it looks like right now (For July/August)... I can plant...

beans
sweet corn
cucumbers
southern peas
peppers
pumpkin
squash
tomato
watermelon
(Not mentioned on the list, but malabar spinach; the warm-weather spinach variety)

Cool season vegetables generally start in september/october for this area, but the following can be planted in august:

broccoli
cauliflower
collards
onions, bunching
turnips

In september/october, I can plant...

beets
brussel sprouts
cabbage
carrots
kale
lettuce
mustard
onions
parsley
radish
spinach
strawberry

In january I can plant
cauliflower
celery
english peas
potatos
turnips

Then fruits, which largely come from trees and bushes, typically fruit during the warm months.

It's interesting to see that there are sweet options year round, but I'm mostly seeing vegetable/starch-vegetable consumption during the non-warm-months (October-March). It seems like the warm months are when the sweet crops tend to come about. I'd suspect maybe sucrose is harder for plants to manufacture than glucose polysaccharides, and it's more sunlight intensive.

Anyway, I talked to the people in Magnolia yesterday and they said they've started seeing a decline in business months ago. Well, I've been to Lake Conroe recently and it seems like a fairly busy place. The hometown diners were completely full and area business are busy and it makes sense; people who live on the lake generally have money to spend. So, I strongly suspect that if I were looking for local work, somewhere in the direction of Lake Conroe wouldn't be a bad place to look. Magnolia doesn't have the same draw since it's not right by the lake and it doesn't have the advantage of having a natural feature that encourages spending(I don't know why, it purportedly has a high income but yet it seems like more is spent at the lake businesses, I'd guess the calmness it induces encourages spending, as panic/worry tends to tighten the purse strings.). And the same is true of another town.

I think I'm going to apply for local work there and also apply for office jobs in the Woodlands. I suspect this would be a good strategy since higher wage jobs generally take longer to find, and time is definitely money in my case.

I noticed that the sellers on the platform have become a lot more competitive recently. That's not what's been underlying my decline in sales; shift in spending habits according to a reduction in spending is what's really underlying it. So, I need to adapt. And, the driveway is wet now so I think I'm just going to start clearing out a path for the fence and get that project going.
 
Okay, that's a weird music video. Ah, the ongoing nostalgia as you STILL ruminate over a BPD girlfriend fantasy. What if a girl told you that vegetables 'Triggered' her?

But maybe you should consider that the fascination with hemp may also be on the wane, hence business being off for the hemp farmer. Try weaving product into belts and purses and see if THAT sells.
 
Dauntless said:
Okay, that's a weird music video. Ah, the ongoing nostalgia as you STILL ruminate over a BPD girlfriend fantasy. What if a girl told you that vegetables 'Triggered' her?

As delicious as vegetables taste sometime, I don't doubt that it might interest some. I do halfsuspect a certain person hearing words garden might be thinking "Marijuana potential", lol. And, if certain girls are impulsive risky pleasure seekers like I suspect, she might be really into something like that (Not that I'm convinced it's 'risky' outside legal contexts, the 'natural world' as it exists outside the context of society). My great uncle actually has an aunt living on his property that grows marijuana (It's legal, hypothetically. I'm not sure if the quantities she grows is legal.). And, that crackwhore withdrawal look... mmmm... I just have suspicions...granted... perhaps I'm confusing love with drugs.

Kesha_-_Your_Love_Is_My_Drug.jpg


Anyway, I'm well aware at this point, I'm just recalling a memory and particularly at this point, of no particular benefit other than it being more interesting than those thoughts/stimuli currently available in the immediate environment. I'm not delusioned by the probability she found someone and I don't really care.

I think about what exactly triggered it. I suspect maybe it was the fact it was baby imitations, but no, I I don't think that'd normally trigger the sense of revulsion - there was a girl who talked in a similar way ("talking cute" with toddler like affect) and she seemed unusually endearing. Granted, I only met her for a second as she scanned her badge entering the building and so I never found out who she was, but it is clear she talked like that specifically to attract MY attention (Lol, I don't really know, she could always talk like that. But she did indeed, strongly attracted my attention.). I really do strongly suspect it was the uncanny valley that went along with it, and that is purely hypothetical[that she demonstrated uncanny valley features]. I do know I felt a strong sense of revulsion.

But maybe you should consider that the fascination with hemp may also be on the wane, hence business being off for the hemp farmer. Try weaving product into belts and purses and see if THAT sells.

lol.
 
Wow,did I just have the dream. It ended up waking me up, too, right in the middle of it and body still paralyzed yet my eyes were clearly opening and seeing the outside world, lol.

Anyway...

Somehow I found an apartment to live in Washington DC or something (Though it feels more likely to be New Orleans or Atlanta based on its location), just walked right in, found one and started squatting. No one really noticed, no one really cared. Apparently I found land down there at some point, possibly in another city (Houston not unlikely).

There was land I bought and a girl I found down there I lusted for, but didn't do anything with, and... somehow I found myself back in Spokane during a family reunion of somesort ("He came back" party). There, I found my old girlfriend, and she was there hugging my arm resting her head against my shoulder and my cousin was there as well, and they started talking to each other while she was hugging my arm, I fell asleep because I wasn't involved in the convo, lol. Anyway, this girlfriend, I never lusted for her. She just wanted me at some point in the past, and I just passively accepted it,and it was just like blah blah blah. The thing to do, I get the sense eventually there would be marriage or somesuch and we'd go on about our lives. [I get the sense this would likely eventually become the "sexless marriage".]

Anyway, I told this girlfriend of a girl I met while I was away. She started getting defensive and obviously kind of distrusting, I let her know nothing happened, but everytime I wanted to describe how I felt strongly about her in ways I never felt about her, she started getting pissed off and I could feel the daggers, wow. And the daggers in her eyes woke me up. Body still paralyzed, but mind and eyes obviously awake, no hope of falling asleep again, lol.

I'm not in the situation, but, I could see it being a possibility. That's happened a bit, girls "choosing me" that I didn't really feel anything for, I guess because they saw as good marital prospects or some such (Actually,that explicitly /DID/ happen back in nuke school. Some girl floating the idea "Wouldn't it be so nice if we were married?".). And, I kind of realized in that particular dream, that sucks when do you find someone you do feel something for. So, lesson of the dream; go after the ones you want. The alternative sucks balls. I think it tends to works out better that way because girls just want to be loved [Obviously not true of every single girl out there and this is OK; these girls aren't usually trying to attract your love if they don't want it, so not usually an issue.].(And the "Chooses you" girls largely want your (future) resources, at least I suspect. Probably not always...possibly...)

https://thoughtcatalog.com/becca-martin/2016/06/girls-dont-want-everything-they-just-want-to-be-loved/ (She echoes my opinion)

I can tell Harbor Freight is feeling the slowdown, just got a 25% off coupon that lasts FOUR DAYS with really no holiday behind it. That's out of the norm, usually the 25%ers were rare, tended to happen on holidays and only lasted one day, usually Sunday.They call it the "Friends and Family Event" holiday, lol.

I'm well aware at this point, I'm just recalling a memory and particularly at this point, of no particular benefit other than it being more interesting than those thoughts/stimuli currently available in the immediate environment.

In hindsight, I'm finding this statement dubious. lol
 
http://davesgarden.com/products/gwd/c/87/#b

I see, it's better to buy the Burpee seeds from Home-Depot than the Ferrymorse seeds from walmart. Burpee is pretty cool, too, they have neat hybrids.

And, just like walmart, Lowes only carries the Ferrymorse brand. It's interesting they are both more expensive and lower quality.I wonder Walmart somehow couldn't secure a contract from Burpee? The ferry's were likely less expensive wholesale, I guess.

Ferrymorse cucumbers seem to do well.

I see people complaining of cross-polination. How is this adressed?

With wind or insect pollinated plants, the plants need pollination from flowers on other plants (either the same or different varieties) to produce healthy seeds. To prevent cross pollination, you would need to plant different varieties 100 yards or more apart.

Well, 300 feet you say? I don't really have that luxury, lol. I guess I'll just have to handle a little cross polination possibility.

I basically just want, for now...

cucumber
tomatos
watermelons
malabar spinach
corn
bell pepper
southern peas (black eyed peas)

I suspect there shouldn't be much cross polination. I think with the blackeyed peas, you can just buy them from the grocery store and plant them. I think that's why I'm not finding seeds anywhere, lol.

I see the people saying they're from "east texas"(Where I am, roughly) are saying their produce is growing like gangbusters. Yep, that's what I thinking when I bought this property. Definitely looked like good growing conditions looking at the density and greenness of the forest and raincharts looked good to me. That's one thing Spokane didn't have, dense forests and they definitely weren't green. More like brown and amber yellow.
 
[youtube]1GQlBy90nOQ[/youtube]

Maybe with business shifting out of China you can contract with them in your growing free time.

swbluto said:
As delicious as vegetables taste sometime, I don't doubt that it might interest some. I do halfsuspect a certain person hearing words garden might be thinking "Marijuana potential", lol. And, if certain girls are impulsive risky pleasure seekers like I suspect, she might be really into something like that. . . .

BPD ain't about pleasure seeking. What interests them is self destruction. "Triggered" means they'll have an episode. ACK!

The best way for you to get a house quickly. If you move you can take it with you.

http://www.popup-house.com/en/

They're sayng some huge chunk of the new construction in China from the last 50 years won't last 50 years. My house is 65 years old and was in superficially bad shape when I was in college and I haven't done much for it since. Not like it's about to fall down. If you're gonna build a house, build something that'll still be there after you're gone. Even if it's portable.

[youtube]o9eXi3RL8q4[/youtube]
 
It means I deleted it, lol.

Anyway...I keep imagining /that/ face when she looked up and saw my stare. I'm not sure how to describe it...

It seemed unusual to me.

Granted, there's not been a lot of girls I've looked at in that particular way. In fact, there's been NO ONE I've looked at in /that/ particular way.

So, I guess new territory is something I'd expect to encounter.

I don't even really know how to describe it. But it was distinctive.

It just seemed so unusual. Like someone mesmerized, delighted and surprised at the same time. But, it was unusual... like someone gone just a little psycho in their own little world. I did take it as a "good sign", but it kind of freaked me out a little, like holy crap... you think you're talking to someone normal here... but then... /bam/.... psycho mode activated. But I can tell it wasn't really 'psycho' coming out, it was an instinctive reaction core to her innermost personality for that particular kind of situation. And it kind of freaked me out a little.

Granted, the way I looked wasn't particularly normal either. At least not for me, it might be for angelina jolie. Even then, she doesn't have the angle nor intensity I had.

She soon after widened her mouth a little and looked downward left and right, as if utterly shocked by what she was seeing. She might've been panicking and thinking "What do I do now?! I really don't want to screw this up.", lol.

I want to say she looked like a changeling in that moment, but I can't seem to find the kind of image I'm looking for.

Update:

I can tell the local mexican grocery is feeling the slowdown.They added more chicken and beans to my meal, without asking me first, and changed me $5.25 for it.I was perfectly OK given how much I worked yesterday, but the fact she was overcharging me without blushing tells me they're feeling it and they think me, el gringo, tienes los dineros. And the guys there, who apparently didn't get their by car, were looking at me as if they were wanting to challenge me. Oh, don't tell me, we're starting to fight over scraps now, lol.

Anyhoo, yeah, lots of signs that it's hitting this part.

I don't know if it's temporary, like a month or so, or if it's going to last a little while. Seems like "summer slow downs" have happened in the past, it's just funny I never really noticed one last year. I guess I'd have to look at historical sales charts. It seems like I remember around this time of year, my sales were exploding and I'm not really seeing the segue into exploding sales this year.

I looked and... yes... I see the $/view didn't really change this time last year. And, yes, that's precisely what I've seen in the last month. A $/view that's a third of what it was last year, and even last month, and seems like it might still be declining. $/view is important because this tells you that sales aren't being affected by /not being seen/, but because /not being purchased/.

It's important to shift to competing on price point and shifting to 'necessary' goods (Possibly 'value-added' necessary goods.) during these parsimonious times. It's also particularly important to tightly control expenses.

I think corn and beans might be my most promising calorie crops in this area. Seeing that the jamestown settlers were allotted 5 acres per settler, I wonder how much I can realistically expect from 7000 sq ft.(.16 acres)? I see that bean,corn and tomato salads are common, suggesting it's a good combination. I know it's a "complete protein source".(Mixing corn with a legume).

https://greatist.com/health/complete-vegetarian-proteins

Every time legumes like beans, lentils, and peanuts are combined with grains like wheat, rice, and corn, a complete protein is born.

I'm minimizing generator use where practical. Energy conservation.

I wonder what kind of watermelon those "personal watermelons" in the store are? I'd prefer to have many mini-watermelons to a few large watermelons with the area I have to work with.

On second thought, I think maybe I'll just purchase beans from the store (Cheap enough), and I'll grow corn and tomatos. Those two are not really /that/ cheap, lol.

I wonder if container growing would be recommended for tomatos? Might slow down/halt disease transmission.

Looks like aphids are a problem with tomato plants. Will learn more.

http://www.survivalistboards.com/showthread.php?s=21d78b3af0d8d83f77b4cc8a173ed8d2&t=141114&page=2

Looks like a family of 6 could survive on an acre of potatos. So if I grew only potatos, I could probably do it. Looks like the kind of corn recommended is flent/dent corn (non-sweet corn), because it easily stored ( http://www.realworldsurvivor.com/2014/12/24/grow-survival-crops-subsistence-garden/#author-with-hubbard-squash ). But, regular sweet corn is also possible to store by canning it. I just don't know how they get away with it in the saltless cans.

http://extension.psu.edu/food/preservation/safe-methods/sweetcorn

Doesn't look like a high amount of salt is necessary. This is good.

I figure with devoting most of it to sweet corn, I could pare it with store-purchased beans and that should be enough calories. I would want to combine with enough vegetables (Spinach, etc.) to maintain a healthier dietary balance - keep you feel longer and bring own the insulin load. I'm not sure if I want to grow peanuts...

I have a strong feeling the potential carb output of my land is a bit more than ireland. With longer periods of "good sun", and even good enough sun during the winter for pea production,I think the total annual carb output is likely potentially higher.

Look.... looks like walmart stapled a "We're hiring" card on my latest banana receipt. Is this the opportunity I've been looking for? lol. Temporary work sounds like "Quick to hire" fulltime work(?), which sounds good to me. I notice they put on their "Opportunities to become a permanent store associate" as if it was some desireable, commonly sought-for opportunity in the area. If becoming a walmart employee in the area is hard, that suggests job searching might be a little harder than I thought it should. But, I know I can't read too much into these generic corporate cards.

I think they are already hired, because I believe I saw them remodeling/mass-restocking not too long ago. And this receipt is 9 days old. I won't be able to apply for another 7 days or so, I'm getting the RV on the driveway tomorrow, at least first attempt, assuming it doesn't rain tonight.Then need to pick up t-posts from steinhauser (Neighbor recommended) and try to find suitable craigslist t-posts.

I figure the front will be 10 footers. (75/12= 6 in front)
The sides will be 6 foot, except for the middle one, which would be 8 ft. (56/12 = 4.7-> , so 6,8,6,8(corner))
The back will be all 6s, except the middle, which would be 8. (8,6,6,8,6,6,8)

8,6,6,8,6,6,8
6.............6
8.............8
6.............6
10,10,10,10,10,10

So looking at

10: six
8:five
6:eight

I can get the 6s on craigslist, but 10s and 8s would need to be store purchased. Not a final design.

And, I see, to protect plants from low temperatures (Frost temperatures), they have frost blankets. Oh cool, that might help keep the more sensitive vegetable plants from dying due to excessively cold overnight temperatures (Like the spinach and english peas).
 
Man, it's hard watching everything I built just crash and burn. It's definitely lighting a fire under my butt to make some changes which will definitely be of huge longterm benefit, so I can't say "it's all bad", but man... I just didn't think things would crash this much this fast, lol. (I mean, I did think eventually there'd be a recession... but I didn't expect a 70% drop off in sales; I was thinking more like 10%, just like the last one; a 10% reduction in durable goods purchased. I guess certain product categories get more heavily affected than others, lol. Or... this one could just be worse than the last one... that'd be bad...) This will actually be the first week where I have "reliable sales data", not being confounded by my changes or platform changes, hopefully, so this week will definitely give me a good idea into what I can expect for at least the next couple months. I hope it's not as dismal as I suspect it will be, lol. But if it is, I'm /half/ prepared, lol.

Definitely getting more stingy with generator use, which is good, it should help increase the longevity of it which would be especially desirable at the moment where the current savings rate isn't high enough for equipment replacements like that.

Removing the trees, my backyard is actually starting to look like a backyard, instead of a mass graveyard of fallen trees, lol. Which is nice.

Definitely have a huge pile of logs, it's possible this might be used for firewood come the winter for those excessively cold days. Not sure where I'd put the stove... maybe the shed? lol. I guess it'd work, I can comfortably sleep in the RV with the electric blanket regardless of how cold it is.

I see the local RV parks have a large number of 20-somethings and 30-somethings using the lots, looks like possibly longish term residents. It's kind of cool having my own place instead of that kind of lifestyle. The neighbors don't really bother me too much [any more... I suspect maybe the more troublesome ones moved...], allowing me to sleep well /most nights/, I can get a garden going to help keep me alive, I can a deploy a shed to expand business ops, I can /maybe/ eventually get a pool going... I mean, there's just so much more I can do on my own land than inside an RV park. But, aye, it looked like that guy was having some fun around the campfire and drinking his beer, I don't have that kind of fun, lol. He might've been a weekend camper.

I kind of wish I had an acre of land instead of this quarter acre. I could get a more self-sustaining garden going, and could possibly be productive enough for more than one person. Granted, I'd imagine that kind of lifestyle wouldn't be interesting to most americans, lol, so I don't think that'd be of much benefit. Unless we're talking about vegetarians, lol.

But... you know what... the girls I've been attracted to historically were vegetarians... not necessarily because I asked, I found out after the fact, so ... maybe it wouldn't be too farfetched. Now the real question is, what's the likelihood I'll find a vegetarian here in Texas? lol.
 
Aye, someone else on the platform noticed the same affect as I did. Granted, their sales volume was likely low enough where "no sales for the last 3 weeks" is plausible, but my category is a pretty high sales volume category, so I definitely can calculate the reduction AND it's roughly 70%. Just enough to feed me.[for now]

Oh look, another thread on exactly this subject. They posted 62% reduction. Yeah, that's pretty much on the mark. Yep, at least I know I'm not imagining things.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hardiness_zone#USDA_hardiness_zones

Wow, just noticing. Makes sense, UK being an island, they have a hardiness rating of 8 on average, limiting the winter lows to 20F. That means that English peas, no doubt grow well there, with little risk of permanently killing frost damage. I would ordinarily think that the UK would be too far north, but nope, they're an island... so frost damage is limited.

Just seems kind of odd to think that the UK has a pretty similar hardiness rating to me, despite them being at 51"N parallel. I'm a 30"N, so I technically have a significant solar advantage compared to the UK. I will bet, houston summers are hotter than london's, lol. 72F vs 94F... yep.

I'm willing to bet this means their country is perfect for growing english peas, a cool weather vegetable, lol. Kind of makes sense.
 
Not anything we can do for you if we don't know more. I mean, right, 'Hemp Farm.' That could mean anything. We'd just have to know more about your business before we could give you solid advice. I mean you say platform, but we have no way of knowing if your 70% reduction has anything to do with Nordstroms 30-70% off on platform shoes or not. We just need to know more.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/danwoods/2016/07/08/qliks-challenge-the-agony-and-ecstasy-of-the-platform-sale/&refURL=https://www.google.com/&referrer=https://www.endless-sphere.com/

I've been waiting for just the right moment to spring this on you, right now seems like it'll cheer you up. http://gawker.com/theres-a-storage-unit-in-brooklyn-where-you-can-do-anyt-1642214112
 
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