Buying forest land, implementing solar

[The fingers]

If I eat late I sleep on my left side to prevent reflux. Later, when my stomach is empty, I can sleep on my right side without problems. :wink:

 

[swbluto]

Oh cool. I can't really tell what might cause acid reflux, eating something too late or an empty stomach. Seems like both are known causes of reflux. I also half suspect that low blood sugar levels might be aggravating pulmonary edema by the stressor on the heart, thus the empty stomach that seems associated with it.

Anyhoo, thought about those "Wine-flushed bold-eyed guys"...

They required liquid courage to pull off the passionate gaze; Me, no liquid courage required. Just plain courage. I think that's partially what captivates girls, that fearless courage. I know I find that fearless courage, especially with the standing-erect, shoulders back and chest-jutting-out posture that goes with it, to be extremely attractive in women.

 

[swbluto]

Dietary correlates of homocysteine.

vitamin B12 and folate appear to be necessary for homocysteine conversion/metabolism. Vitamin C apparently plays a role, possibly in increasing digestional nutrient absorption. Vitamin D probably also plays a role in nutrient absorption.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26871790 - Confirms vitamin D's association with homocysteine.

The linear regression and stratified analyses showed that the highest levels of folic acid and vitamins D2 and D3 correlated with the lowest level of homocysteine in T2DM, CVD, and hypertension patients (P < 0.05 for all), whereas the highest level of vitamin B12 correlated with a lowest level of homocysteine in CVD patients only (P < 0.05).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vitamin_B12_deficiency

Methionine is activated to S-adenosyl methionine, which aids in purine and thymidine synthesis, myelin production, protein/neurotransmitters/fatty acid/phospholipid production and DNA methylation. 5-Methyl tetrahydrofolate provides a methyl group, which is released to the reaction with homocysteine, resulting in methionine. This reaction requires cobalamin as a cofactor. The creation of 5-methyl tetrahydrofolate is an irreversible reaction. If B12 is absent, the forward reaction of homocysteine to methionine does not occur, and the replenishment of tetrahydrofolate stops.[38]

Because B12 and folate are involved in the metabolism of homocysteine, hyperhomocysteinuria is a non-specific marker of deficiency. Methylmalonic acid is used as a more specific test of B12 deficiency.

So it appears vitamin D, B12, C and Folate intake play a direct role in reducing homocysteine by promoting its metabolism.

Fish is high in both vitamin D and B12.

Eggs and cheese are high in B12.

Fruits and vegetables, especially tropical fruits, tend to be high in Vitamin C and Folate. Spinach or other leafy greens has a pretty hefty dose of both.

It's interesting that B12 containing foods are associated with a higher risk of diabetes as compared to vegans, yet B12 is associated with lower homocysteine levels being required for its metabolism. Fish is also associated with a significant reduction in CVD mortality (55% risk ratio). http://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJM199704103361502#t=art

But, I wonder what kind of heart attack risk vegans have? It might be significantly lower than even fish eaters.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4073139/

Vegan had 14% lower risks of all-cause mortality in males. Lacto-ovo-vegetarian and vegan males experienced a 23% and 42% risks reduction in CVD mortality, respectively. Vegan males also had a 55% risk reduction for ischemic heart disease.

Looks like vegan males have a 56% risk ratio of CVD mortality.

Looks like fish consumption and veganism are comparable in terms of CVD risk. In other words, a vegan who embraces fish consumption will see almost no increase in CVD risk, which is intuitive. There might even be a decrease... but maybe not.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2768220/

Eating Fish and Risk of Type 2 Diabetes

When analyses were stratified for types of fish, lean fish intake tended to be associated with a higher risk (RR 1.30 [95% CI 1.01–1.68; Ptrend = 0.06]), whereas fatty fish did not (0.99 [0.71–1.38])

That's right, eat that fatty fish, it's good for you. Increases absorption and probably more importantly, fish fat is strongly antibiotic, likely explaining the lack of increase in risk of diabetes development. I can't really tolerate the taste of skinless fish.

So it appears there's no increase in diabetes risk if consumed the way fish is intended to be consumed; the whole fish, skin and all.

[strike]I wonder if the diabetes risk increase of fish consumption could be reduced by, say, a physically active lifestyle. Seems like it might play a role, though I'm not immediately imagining a specific working mechanism to explain it.[/strike] (Based on earlier research that didn't specify the type of fish consumed, i.e., fried fish)

 

[swbluto]

Looks like diesel generators are supposed to last 30,000 hours normally as opposed to Honda's 2000 hours. Yep, I think that's the kind I need. I see a 2kw diesel generator costs about $2000, so looks like I need to save up, lol. [I wonder how the neighborhood will appreciate me running a diesel generator? lol.]

Now only if I had put my money into a single reliable diesel generator instead of multiple gas generators... lol

 

[swbluto]

Navy is gay... hmm...

There certainly seems to be an overrepresentation of gay men in the navy. My gaydar was confidently detecting, out of 40 men or so, about 4 gay men, so about 10%. Apparently in the UK, gay men comprise 1.5% of the population, so they are definitely overrepresented in the navy for reasons not very clear to me. Maybe gay men don't find prolonged journeys with other men, and little to no opportunities for heterosexual RR, to be as dissuading as it might be for straight men. (That's not actually strictly true... in my experience... there's an above average percentage of female navy sluts as well. But, the person who hasn't gone into the branch yet, doesn't necessarily know that.)

And my PR friend was telling me the place where this music video was filmed, Puerto Rico, was much better than the environment he had been in thusfar (Nuclear navy school). I could tell back on the island, he was likely one of the local top dogs, which was not the case in the nuclear navy.

[youtube]kJQP7kiw5Fk[/youtube]

I DON'T HAVE A HARD TIME BELIEVING HIM! lol

Though not apparently the musical tastes of my neighbors, I have a feeling they'd be more receptive to this kind of music (Popular latin dance music) than the other music I would blast.

Also read in Psychologytoday that prolonged eye contact leads to significant oxytocin release, the "bonding chemical". So, indeed, a pairbond/"strong connection" was being formed, like I've mentioned several times so far. Which would explain this persistent attachment to her and not giving up too easily; not that I'm a "needy person", but that a strong bond was formed. But, then 3 days of relentless crying and 2 weeks of dysthmia, I'm pretty much back to normal. I don't really know about that, honestly... but it seems like I'm not thinking of her as intensely/as much. I still do actually, but not as much.

It was interesting, in the morning time about a week, feeling this warm feeling in what felt my frontal lobe (MIght've just been my limbic system, it's really hard to distinguish the location of vague warm feelings in the mind), like I knew I was going to see her again even if I intellectually knew it probably wasn't going to happen. But, if felt like a committed resolve. Such a resolve would've likely been more useful in tribal societies and smaller close-together towns, not really a match for automobile-enabled large spread out cities.

I was reading of someone who died of heart failure at 25. Had a kidney infection, likely the infectious agent attacked her heart. Tiredness, Weakness, nausea, bloating below the waste, neck pains.

It's interesting, because I've been waking up about 3hours after I fall asleep with tired eyes, and I'm feeling tired and those "neck pains" (Fleeting sharpish vertically-aligned pains in the right neck, seems to travel in a muscle group right next to the carotid, but might actually be the carotid itself.). I keep thinking the neck pains are muscular (At least that's what my tracings suggest), but I keep getting this suspicion maybe I'm wrong and it's actually symptomatic of heart failure, because I've woken with temporary difficulty breathing during one of these "waking up after 3 hours with tired eyes" events. Anyway, it did feel like I was going to knock out when I had an anxious thought during this time, which made me think my circulation was likely impaired somehow.

Anyway, breathing, neck pains, tiredness. Seems like I have about 3 of the 5 symptoms that girl mentioned. I might not feel nausea and weakness because it's not quite that severe, yet.

I don't want to jump to conclusions as there could be other explanations for those symptoms (Waking up after 3 hours would make most people feel tired, neck pains might be caused by cervical issues exposed during sleep, etc.), but the overlap is somewhat striking.

Anyway, I recall those ending moments of hers... and I just get this impression maybe she had malicious intent. But it doesn't seem fitting for the emotions she was experiencing, so I'm thinking she may have been unthinking. But... did she previously express malice? It almost seems like she did (And I took it that way at the time), but I don't think that was her intent. So, I'm thinking she might be unthinking about how her words might hurt others. She might be kind of autistic. Definitely had attention deficits, and the overlap between ADD and Autism is pretty substantial. ADHD actually doesn't seem like a bad guess in the "unthinking" way (Doesn't think through the consequences before acting/saying/etc.). If I were to pin any disorder on her, ADHD would definitely be up there. Hyperactive, spacey, impulsive, quick to temper.

And that video... looking back at the start of 2:18 where she starts striding as she does and attracts his attention...

I noticed when I'm walking like that, all of sudden randomly girls are saying "Hi, how are you doing?" just kind of out nowhere, lol. I'm trying to figure out what kind of stride that is...

Finding people describing the exact nature of heart failure "neck pains" online is like near impossible. Which seems odd considering how common it is.

Update: Could barely see the arm of the milky way on this moonless night. Anyway, that's pretty cool. [I've been looking for it, but dismayed I haven't found it because hypothetically there should not be that much light pollution out there. It was definitely visible about 30 miles away from Spokane, out in the country.]

 

[Dauntless]

[youtube]uzCleIHK2lU[/youtube]

 

[swbluto]

In males, I suspect oxytocin is released during orgasm while having sex while it usually is not during orgams while masturbating. That'd help explain the significant difference in homocysteine in males with sexual frequency. I suspect it affects homocysteine by being a cortisol counteractant, which in turn affects homocysteine metabolism somehow (Don't know how), but oxytocin might affect homocysteine directly.

Let's see if I can research in this vein.

Research suggests it's released during masturbation. Perhaps a significantly greater amount is released during sex. This page suggests as such: http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/human_nature/2006/01/relax_and_enjoy_it.html

Those who had PVI[sex] "were least stressed, and their blood pressure returned to normal faster than those who'd only masturbated or had non-coital sex. Those who abstained had the highest blood-pressure response."

So more is released, and it might be more persisting since no doubt thoughts of encounter would be more persisting than masturbation sessions (Since you're actually thinking of someone), so it likely reduces cortisol more and thus homocysteine. The correlation between homocystene and cortisol is somewhat weak, however (.39), so I doubt that's the full explanation, but not unlikely a primary one.

Compared to other correlates, like folate(.3), it's actually a relatively strong association.

There are other ways to produce oxytocin and thus reduce homocysteine, like pets. Basically, having some living thing you're bonded with. I have my doubts it approaches the significance in effect as frequent sex in males, but no doubt it's better than nothing. [And, right now, I have just about nothing, lol.]

The ever persisting warm&sticky&sweaty days seem to be returning this week. I would normally be OK with it if I didn't have this itchy and burning jock itch I didn't have a month ago, lol. The webpages suggest "keeping it dry", lol, good luck when it's f'in 110 degrees in the RV!

Anyway, I'm starting to think this girl was a mean girl. Because she was definitely horny, and "mean girls are horny" is well established. I start to wonder why being mean is attractive in females... being a bitch... My plausible guesses are:

1) It demonstrates they're horny
2) She's asserting her ranking over you, thus driving you to frock her brains out (Because she's of "high value")... which would play into the "she's horny" theory if she instinctively is using this tactic (Perhaps she's noticed the positive results in the past and just kept doing it; reinforced behavior).

It is of no question that her meanness was a spur to take action in my case. She may have quickly learned that being mean was effective on my person, lol.

Treat them mean, keep 'em keen.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/loves-big-secret-play-hard-to-get-8395973.html

Treat them mean, goes the adage, and keep them keen. Now it emerges that such power play – used by men and women – is a sound evolutionary strategy to get a good mate.

"Playing hard to get might be one way that people – women in particular – can test their prospective mate's commitment and to manipulate their prospective mates to obtain what – or whom – they want," said the psychologists who carried out the study. "We revealed that the more unavailable a person is, the more people are willing to invest in them.

Appearing highly self-confident was the top-ranked tactic, followed by talking to other people and, third, withholding sex. Several tactics were used more by women than men, including sarcasm, withholding sex, sounding busy, teasing, flirting with other people, using the answerphone and turning down the first few dates. Men playing hard to get used only three of the tactics more often than women: "acting snooty or rude"; "saying all the right things but not calling" and "treating others like shit".

The researchers, from the University of Western Sydney and Singapore Management University, said the goal of this behaviour was securing a high-quality mate who was willing to commit.

She was flirting with other people, and I have a strong feeling she was making that obvious on purpose, because her flirting was highly exaggerated compared to interactions with the customers in front of me, and I have a feeling she said what she said precisely to draw my attention to her flirting with other customers. So, yes... this research does fit with her behavior. Anyway, obviously a good sign she was trying to secure my commitment, which I can't say is a bad thing (Obviously,she wants me; she actually made that really obvious long before the ending remarks). On the otherhand, it does make me think she's a ho, which doesn't have the intended affect.

Anyway, as to working in this hot weather... there's 3 distinct phases to the day.

1) Warm, humid morning.
2) Hot, dry day.
3) Warm, dry evening.

For non-light-work, the morning sucks because the humidity and warmth easily causes profuse sweating. The heat during the day easily causes profuse sweating. The warm, dry evening is really the best time for heavy work, because it's just about the only non-hot dry part of the day.

If I had air-conditioning, I could work through the warm, humid mornings, because it's be relatively easy to dry off quickly... but w/o AC when the RV is warm and humid as well... drying off quickly doesn't happen, you're just sweaty all morning and it gets worse as the hottest part of the day approaches. I wouldn't be such a crybaby about it if it weren't for this painful scrotum rash that makes walking/sitting painful.

Anyway, as to circumstance intervening (Active daytime thief on my property)...that was likely a good thing in retrospect.

At the time of my meeting her, my income was consistently around $1600/month, the honda 2000w generator was going nice and strong with another predicted 1.5 years of service left to go, and no real end to sight.

However, the second half of july hit, which did two major things.

-Sales plummeted and proved that my income wasn't reliable like it had been for the last 2 years. It's been a little iffy since.
-Honda 2000w generator died, killing my illusion of honda's superiority. It took a little time to figure out that honda's are just like any commerical air-cooled gas engine, in that they'll die after 2000-3000 hours of service; until that time, I really had no idea air-cooled commercial gas engines typically lasted 2000 hours, I just assumed 2 years of round-the-clock use since the commercial warranty was 2 years. If I want 20,000-30,000 hours of service, I should really be looking at diesels. I've become disillusioned with gas generators since, and my power situation isn't really all that firm at the moment; projected lifespan of a couple more months and I'm operating at half power, more than halving my production capacity (Since the fans/laptop/charger/cell-phone take up a fixed amount of power).

So, two major blows to prove that I was operating under an illusion. So, actually, it might be a good thing nothing progressed from that; the timing wasn't right as time soon proved (Only took 2 weeks to dispel my illusions, lol). It is frustrating, however, not knowing the whys/hows/whens about her leaving... but whatever. It is frustrating not knowing what she was thinking in the days ahead. I strongly suspect she had really strongly bonded with myself, and I'm suspecting at some point, she likely despaired. I don't really know when this despair might've happened (Maybe soon after she was fired or someone else made her quit), and I don't know to what extent (Maybe a mere afterthought, lol), but I think it happened at some point. But, I will never know about it and that really sucks, because it was never my intention to let her down and I would've liked to let her know that, but she'll likely never know.

I figure we both likely have adhd to some extent. And it's not unlikely we both had high IQs. So, I'm guessing, the pairing almost seemed destined at the time. [I'm really just guessing; it could've been just the fact we were both looking at the time, but I think that's only partially it. Lots of girls were looking as I'd presume, but none had a personality that resonated with mine like hers.]

Anyway... I think back to my move... and... I think it was a little more than just than the stare... it was the entire body language... like I was going to ... how do I describe this without making it sound like I'm raping her... lol... I was going to subdue her (domination) and ... maybe not quite the word I'm looking for... seduce her. So when she responded with the orgasm body language, that pretty much fit perfectly with the body language I was conveying. Anyway, she obviously loved the approach, I have a feeling it played to her horny desires at the time. And, I don't necessarily think it's the act of fornication she was looking forward to like men might (Maybe it was, I dunno), but the whole act of passionate love, appealing to her carnal desires like the way romance novels plays to that of many a women. And, hell, that's what I fantasizing anyway... it wasn't the sex... it was the whole scene of embrace and connection.

I think she appreciated my bold honesty, as in her instinct appreciated it. You can definitely tell some superstrong emotion suddenly swept over her when her eyes met mine, like she was no longer really thinking, instinct autopilot was taking over. This was not the average "two strangers look into each others eyes" kind of thing, she definitely responded like something was pulled from the deep and suddenly taking over. Overwhelmed by beauty, tinged by sadness, intense longing.

I don't honestly know what precisely triggered the instinctive reaction. I wouldn't think it was because she was getting gazed at... granted... maybe it was... I think it had something to do with the passionate unrelenting subdue-ment conveyed. Now that I think about it... her face definitely looked like she was masturbating, like I was making her wet.

http://growyouthful.com/comment-ailment-remedy.php?ailmentNo=163&remedyNo=2

Interesting, looks like ACV is effective against jock itch. Just requires application multiple times daily. Anyway, I see this stinging affect is normal... it had me yelling in pain for a few tens of seconds, lol.

Anyway, recently read that "A girl who acts like an excited child around you likes you". Yeah, okay, after our embracing of each other, she started acting like an immensely happy/excited little girl, so I guess maybe I could say that she liked me, lol.

Hmmm... I started wondering about if the body sweated glucose, as it seems to sweat out pretty much everything else out of the blood stream.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22376082

The results of 23 different studies of seven individual subjects with diabetes show a strong correlation between sweat glucose and blood glucose.

Interesting. I noticed I've been getting a bit of acne all over my body recently, and I suspect maybe the glucose being sweated out is feeding P. acne. My bloodsugars might be a little high with the banana consumption (Seems to be a known bloodsugar spiker in diabetics, despite research showing bananas normalizing fasting blood sugar levels.). I suspect this sweat glucose might also be feeding the fungus, worsening it since it apparently metabolizes carbs.

http://www.livestrong.com/article/75643-diabetic-skin-acne/

Patients who have diabetes and acne often have difficulty getting their acne under control, and in some cases a bad case of acne can be one of the first visible signs of developing diabetes. Because the high blood sugar levels found in diabetes also have been implicated in acne formation, many clinicians are not surprised that the two could be related.

I guess I should get that h1ac testing done at HEB. Might need to change my diet.12 bananas a day could be helping to make me diabetic, it certainly seems plausible.

http://www.houstonvicewatch.org/

BUYING SEX IS ILLEGAL & LAW ENFORCEMENT IS CRACKING DOWN
NO MATTER WHERE: CLUBS, MASSAGE PARLORS, ON THE STREET , OR ONLINE

Oh, so I should be looking at clubs, eh? lol. It's funny, I was thinking that's where I should be focusing my future career in weekend dancing, lol. And, it's so funny as I have to laugh soooooooo hard at that thought, lol. Its funny, not too long ago, I thought I had a serious future in the club scene but right now... laughing up a storm, lol. I'm not really sure what exactly changed causing a change there. And I'm not exactly why I'm laughing... because "That's not happening anytime soon" or "Lol, you a dancer? Yeah right.", lol.

Lol, I actually do wonder if she ended up telling her parents about the encounter because... it does seem like it'd be hard for her to contain herself about what had transpired considering how excited/happy she was... so it doesn't seem implausible her parents found out and then the father was like "You're quitting right now.", lol. Anyway, it's one plausible explanation.

 

[swbluto]

Anyway, walmart branded cocoa powder, pink salmon... good quality stuff, tastes great compared to the other low priced brands. They must really have some strong cost controls in their supply chain while not sacrificing quality.

Anyway, I thought about my particular location and it's not really that bad. Granted, I wouldn't say Houston is comparable in terms of technical job opportunities as the West coast, but I think it might actually be easier/better finding a job here since the wealthy economy isn't driving all the unemployed males into the tech industry like the west coast seems to (And there are a number of other industries here to divert the local ambitious high earners; petroleum, construction, medical.). Anyway, I'm only 35-45 miles away from the technical centers of Houston, I guarantee I wouldn't have been able to get that close anywhere on the west coast and even if I could, the traffic would've been 'fing horrible. 35-45 miles translates into 3 hours over on the west coast; here, about an hour. So actually, this is probably one of the best opportunities to enter my industry for what I could afford in terms of: proximity and ease of commute, likelihood of successful entry into the market. If you had a much higher cash position, you could probably just build a place in any of the strong economies, and away you go, but "high cash positions" don't usually coincide with youth and definitely not from places like Spokane, lol.

On the west coast, likely you'd be forced by practicality into a rent situation which currently is running about $12,000-15,000/year in the places I've checked (Seattle, Portland). It's likely higher in San Fran. My equivalent rent situation is about $90/year, lol.

And, I've thought about cortisol and oxytocin and homocysteine.

Let's say there is a ranking order; leaders at the top, and "losers" at the bottom. And by this, I don't mean hipsters embracing the "loser" style or your typical popular self-branded loser, I'm talking the real deal.

What is a "real loser"? I don't really know honestly. I don't necessarily think it's genetic, and I don't necessarily think it's permanent.

Leaders definitely have lower cortisol levels than subordinates. This is well established.

http://www.hbs.edu/faculty/Pages/item.aspx?num=42987

Using unique samples of real leaders, including military officers and government officials, we found that, compared to non-leaders, leaders had lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol and lower reports of anxiety (Study 1). In a second study, leaders holding more powerful positions exhibited lower cortisol levels and less anxiety than leaders holding less powerful positions, a relationship explained significantly by their greater sense of control. Altogether, these findings reveal a clear relationship between leadership and stress, with leadership level being inversely related to stress.

I would think that the higher up this ranking goes, there's likely higher average oxytocin levels and lower cortisol levels than lower down the ladder. I would think there's going to be substantial variation in oxytocin within a particular ranking (in terms of integration into the community/friends; bonding). Anyway, those with a combination of low ranking and low oxytocin would tend to have the highest cortisol and homocysteine levels, thus predicting for poor vascular outcomes earlier (Stroke being more common at a younger age but heart not unlikely). Those with the highest rankings and bonded most within the community would tend to have the best vascular outcomes (No issues; any issues would be experienced much later). Within the context of America, diet also likely plays a substantial role,but I think in America... there's far more variation in both these factors (social/diet) than in natural tribal societies, so there's going to be likely a greater rate of poor medical outcomes comparitively. And that obviously seems to be the case.

In the context of America... I think diet probably explains much of the variation, but social likely explains a significant percentage of premature cases as does particularly low levels of physical activity. Then of course, there's the viral/bacterial infectious cases... it doesn't seem to be that common in America... but it does happen.
w
Anyway, I think that's what the body language and gaze conveyed: I was going to subdue her and ravish her.

https://www.elephantjournal.com/201...women-want-their-man-to-take-them-adam-sheck/

The Ravish-Me Fantasy: Why Women Want their Man to Take Them

And the fantasy of being ravished, being lovingly—yet forcefully—taken by her man is consistently in the top five female fantasies. In fact, it’s often the number one fantasy. This is different than the rape fantasy which has often been misrepresented.

So apparently I was playing to a deep-seated fantasy that her instinct responded to. And this wasn't something I calculated; I was acting out on instinctive impulse.

And then I withdrew, and she desperately begged for it, as if yelling "Please let me live that fantasy", lol. And the wild-eyed desire.

the fantasy of a strong powerful man initiating sex with a woman, not accepting her initial reluctance, and then loving her passionately, is a highly popular fantasy.

Hehe, yeah, that's exactly what I didn't do; accept her initial reluctance/defense.

For the heterosexual female ravish me fantasy though, we’re talking about the man embodying the masculine and taking charge with the masculine qualities of being focused, direct, relentless in pursuing his goal—in this case, loving his woman into submission.

Direct and relentless, that definitely characterized it. There was no beating around the bush in communicating my intent.

I think the difference between rape and ravishing is basically does she want it; someone getting raped will never want it and constant resistance should make it pretty obvious. Pretty easy way to tell is to pull away, and sse if she begs for it, but that does interrupt the flow. I guess you could pull away slightly and see if she follows.

From an evolutionary psychology perspective, women want to know that their man can take care of them, and can hold them, both emotionally and physically. I have a female friend who is close to six feet tall and she loves that her husband can physically hold her, pick her up, engulf her and sometimes make her feel like she’s a little girl.

There's that little girl thing again. She was definitely talking as if she was a really excited/happy little girl.

Random comment:

Women are still women like they've always been so they want a masculine man to be a man and so many men have no idea how to do that because even their own fathers were weak, feminine men so it's a vicious cycle that will continue to grow unfortunately .

Heh, I think my own father is weak but that didn't stop me from acting out on instinct. I don't really know what exactly underlied my assertiveness... the fact I was doing well, her being mean/uppity and the idea this girl needed to know her place [that actually feels like a large part of it], my huge muscles from lifting all those heavy trees, having territory, feeling like an opportunity was going to slip through my fingers, etc.

Anyway, as to making my champion generator suitable for use...

It seems the difference between my honda and the champion is that one is an "inverter generator" and the other is not.

Apparently an inverter is added so that output waveform is usable by sensitive electronics. I also suspect it improves voltage stability such that things like my UPSs don't just die from constantly boosting the low voltage swings.

So, apparently I should look into adding an inverter to the champion generator.

I don't really know what that would look like... taking 90-135V choppy AC, I assume rectifying it and then inverting to 115-125V smooth AC.

What kind of inverter would that be? Would that be like a 130V DC to 120V AC inverter? Do those exist off-the-shelf?

I'm thinking of another possibility... maybe I could add a 24V power supply to the batteries of the UPS that will work under a variety of AC input waveforms from the generators, so that the AVR boost will essentially be powered by the generator instead of the UPS batteries which eventually die?

Another way, if I can't trust any of the 12V power supplies to work correctly with the varying AC waveform, is to rectify the AC waveform to DC (Varies from 90V DC to 150DC), and then I use the appropriate buck converter to convert to 24V DC. Doesn't seem like it should be particularly problematic... but the voltage stability of the DC input might be an issue for most buck converters... maybe I just need to add more capacitors to the buck converter DC input...

 

[swbluto]

I keep reading this W4M crap on craigslist thinking maybe I'll eventually find a post from her (I'm pretty doubtful at this point), and I'm thinking Holy Crap, I don't think too many girls get to experience what she did, lol. "Our eyes met" is about as far as it's getting taken on these W4M ads. I swear I'm like one of the very few people that acted like a "real man" in pursuing someone; no wonder why the situation seems to stick out so much in my memory, it literally is a super rare memorable event, at least I guess nowadays. Probably wasn't so rare that long ago.

What is this 3F I'm being advised of by a hapless guy who's gotten used and abused by women?

https://houston.craigslist.org/rnr/d/3f-update-fuel-4-the-fire/6263366698.html

The All Important "Second Step " has been Overlooked !

It was Originally "The Four F " ....... Find'em , Feel'em , Fxck'em , Fergitt'em .......... Chug-a-Lug , Chug-a-Lug ..... Gilley's

Second Step "Feel 'Em "........... Well , It Meant Just That , Back Then ....... Chug-a-Lug , Kiss and Grub , Rub-a-Dub

Nowadays , It Should be "Feel 'Em Out " ....... Hey , What Happened to a Little Romance ?

That Applies to All Concerned ...... Proceed at Your Own Risk !

Oh, "Find them, feel them, frock them". That makes sense. I don't know if I'd readily advise "forgetting about them" if you're not that type of person.

Love your spouse or sig. other like no other. The grass is NOT greener on the other side. Don't be a fool.

Been there done that. I am now a lonely, broke, SOB.

So I think he's telling me that I shouldn't be cheating on my SO. Anyway, I do mostly agree with him [I will make exceptions for foreign business trips and the like, lol]. A bird in hand is worth two in the bush.

9 A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush; mere dreaming of nice things is foolish; it’s chasing the wind.

10 All things are decided by fate; it was known long ago what each man would be. So there’s no use arguing with God about your destiny.

11 The more words you speak, the less they mean, so why bother to speak at all?

I like the poetic and authoritative nature of some bible passages.

https://houston.craigslist.org/rnr/d/city-being-held-hostage-by/6268993347.html

Why is it that nothing happens with women in this city unless it involves a "reward system"
Like your a frocking pet in training !!!!
"ok I need you too do a whole bunch of stuff before I will be interested"
"(Like if you do this and that and be a good little pet MAYBE you will get rewarded.
Well guess what...that day never comes!!!!
Hell even when an animal in the circus does a trick they get a treat!!!!
Because this City is so choked down for pussy..They can find some other sucker that will
Be their sucker!!!.
Don't be a PUPPET!!!..BE A HUMAN BEING!!!
AD JUST SAY NO !!!!!

Well, DUH, you nitwit. She's testing your power, if you're giving up your power in the relationship, she's never going to find you sexy. Here's what you do: You make an advance on her and you make demands of her, and don't /easily/ take no for answer. Wow, I didn't think I was all that good with women psychology, but I can definitely tell I'm more advanced than this guy! lol. (Actually, if I can get a girl to want to have sex with me... maybe I'm better than I think, lol.)

https://houston.craigslist.org/rnr/d/stop-complaining-and-do/6261326552.html

1. If you are looking for a job and arent't blowjob desperate, you aren't desperate enough. And before you point out mysoginy on my part, this applies to men as well.

I sure hope that doesn't harm my chances. I'm not really desperate since I already have my livelihood taking care of itself, but I am really motivated.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=F.F.F.F.

FFFF stands for the four stages of a relationship or fling.
Flirt, French, Finger and frock.
Often a term used by middle-schoolers to avoid saying words such as frock og french, because that's just completely disgusting.

I actually like this definition more because... it seems about right.

Looking at these W4M ads, it looks like the Gym is a popular place for these kind of situations. I'm curious why that'd be case... hot sweaty bodies glistening so lustfully under the heavy weights, maybe? lol. Gym might be a good location to find people who care about their weight; seems to be a rarity in these parts! Seems like they hit their early 20s here, and they blowup like a balloon animal and stay that way, lol. I'm not trying to be fattist or anything, but it's pretty rare for me for a person I find attractive to be all that chubby. Granted, I usually don't find many that attractive without talking to them first; there are girls who may pique my curiousity in the looks department, but... I usually find that the personality that intrigues me just isn't there. I like my girls ADHD, lol. Other descriptors might be "energetic and airheaded", lol. I don't think airheaded is the right description... how do I describe that girls personality... it just seems like there's a more appropriate common word for "attention deficit", lol. Maybe flighty. And a girl who speaks with more sophisticated and possibly slightly-stilted grammar. The slightly more advanced and urbane grammatical structures do intrigue me.

I just looked up airheaded at http://www.ign.com/boards/threads/i-have-a-thing-for-airhead-girls.452965218/ , and I must say, I guess airheaded might not be a bad description of her, lol. I think absent-minded is probably a better description.

Minneapolis was interesting in that their were a lot of fit and attractive females just about everywhere. It's like completely the opposite here in car country. It's unfortunate that the few fit women here happen to be undercover highschoolers, lol.

Anyway, I think gyms would be compelling to be a part of here. The climate here during the warmer months is definitely not the kind of weather you want to exercise in, I'd say that only certain parts of the day are suitable (early morning, late evening), which might not be fitting in lots of people's schedules.

 

[swbluto]

I was reading that mice that had heart failure following an induced heart attack reversed the heart failure by doing aerobic exercise 60mins/day for 5 days/week (60% Hr_max). Apparently it expedites the disposal of waste products in the myocardium and other heart tissues, (partially?) reversing the damage.

So, anyway, suspecting some kind of mild heart failure following the excess braised chicken taco consumption 2 months ago, I'm starting to ramp up my daily cardio. Did 7 minutes this morning, lol. I'm planning on doing 20 minutes/day for a week, and then ramp it upto 30 mins/day. That basically translates in the local environment to 6 laps and 9 laps respectively.

I'm trying to do it in the morning time after I eat up and drink my cocoa. Anyway, I'm not finding it hard to cut back on bananas. If you only eat when you /feel hungry/, it doesn't seem like I'm going through as much bananas, which is probably the way it should be, lol. I'd guess 9 bananas/day versus 12-15/day. As cardio picks up, it'll probably increase.

I'm somewhat concerned of shin splints being a limiting factor on these packed-in-iron-ore roads, so I'm thinking I might be focusing more on the pine-needle strewn untraveled roads more; the layer of pine needles provide a noticeable cushion.

I guess maybe I could eventually getting a suitable perimeter around my property going, that'd be 450 ft. per lap (almost 1/12 a mile). That would hypothetically provide an ideal running surface, the forest floor.

Anyway, started getting the 10 foot t-posts in yesterday, had to use my ladder, lol. And, I found out the very first one was about 6 inches off "the line", lol, so I have to dig it out using my pulaski axe and try again. Anyway, figured out you should get the string/tape-measure set up first between the corner posts before installing the t-posts, lol, eyeballing it isn't a very successful technique, lol.

And, I just noticed the honda 2000w generator has a flywheel. Is that part of the reason why it's voltage output is more stable than the champion with surgey loads? Do I just need to add a flywheel?(Have no idea if that'd be easy, lol, and it might already have one.)

Anyway, despite that girls reaction being very similar to orgasm expressions, I don't really think she was suggesting anything as there was no abrupt transition upto her making baby noises; It was a pretty gradual change in intensity that didn't seem premeditated and the start of it was instinctive and instantaneous. So some kind of instinctual infatuatory reponse seems likely. I'm guessing a more sexual arousal kind of response compared to more ordinary infatuation responses. Her being highly sexually aroused was unquestionable. It might be better called a "sexual arousal response", just that... that kind of response doesn't seem to be widely witnessed in woman. At least, I have no idea if videos exist of it, and if they did, how would I find them, lol. I guess maybe men today are no longer that great at arousing women or it goes mostly undocumented for some reason; I sure know I wasn't carrying a camera to record her reaction, lol, I was just going grocery shopping, lol.

Anyway, this guy's article on retail declining because "Americans are just plain broke", I concur wholeheartedly! I've noticed that international orders make a much larger percentage of my orders recently, and this coinciding with a marked decline in sales since July 2017, suggests that "Americans are broke". I'm thinking these foreign countries ordering from me likely have wealthier middle classes in terms of discretionary income. (lower living expenses(rent/morgage/car-insurance/health-insurance/taxes), lower debt, growing income and in many first world countries, even higher income.)

Anyway, I just thought of a solution that'll allow to use my batteries as a capacitor while keeping the power supplies isolated from each other, thus limiting the potential excessive current for any one power supply and also limiting my risk of loss should something go wrong. It was this easy: Use a separate battery in parallel with each power supply.Think I might get ammo cans to contain any possible lipo fire risks, would be easier keeping the lipos inside the RV. (I'll actually be moving it to the shed once the fence gets constructed)

If this solution works like I suspect it might (But maybe it won't), then I should be able to run at fullpower once again and get production capacity upto 100%. This will be important for fulfilling orders during the few hours I may have available after I get a fulltime job, assuming I find one.

Anyway, it's interesting to notice the antler-butting behavior has declined since giving up the search. It's good to see the only point of many of the males here is to discourage me, lol. (In other words, you know who you are... SUCK MY DICK, lol. It doesn't really matter, nobody here has really discouraged me; it was more the recent sales performance, loss of a satisfying power solution and the frustration of being targeted by a daytime thief that really brought my spirits down. But I am actively addressing much of that: searching for increased income, just finding a possibly satisfying power solution, and installing a fence.)

And, I noticed on the cover of Farming Simulator 15 (Xbox game), that a machine was being to grab trees using claws and pull it from the ground. What machine is this?

I think I need one of those! lol

https://www.attractiondojo.com/how-to-arouse-a-woman/

Wow, this seems spot on. Kind of round about, but yeah... It explains exactly what was happening.

So he's approaching her with FULL sexual intent...

And because his intent is 100% sexual, he becomes aroused...

And because he is aroused, the girl becomes aroused too, and good things happen from there.

Mhmmm.

Make Lots of Eye-Contact: Your eyes are powerful seduction weapons.

Use them to arouse women as they are meant to.

When you lock eyes with a woman, not only does she feel what you feel because of her mirror neurons.

But a powerful chemical, phenylethylamine - the same chemical responsible for the feeling of falling in love - gets released.

In my post on how to attract women with body language, I listed a number of interesting eye contact experiments you should definitely check out.

Eye contact generates so much intimacy that I've had women tell me on multiple occasions that it feels as if we were already having sex (in that moment) - even though we were still out, and recently just met.

That's the power of eye contact.

Mhmmm. ["Feels like we're already having sex...", could explain the orgasmic facial expressions, she was definitely imagining my intent and behaving as if it were happening.]

So, it's true, she and I were falling in love. *shakes fist at the gods* lol

And, interesting, cocoa also contains phenylethylamine.

You know the novel, 50 Shades of Grey, that drives women nuts?

It's so popular with women because of the dominant lead character, Christian Grey.

Beyond the sexual aspects of dominance, a woman really just wants to surrender to you as a man.

So take charge and she'll love you for it.

Mhmmm.

So much right on this webpage, it's ridiculous.

And, did I just see weather.com correctly? It's 79F in LA? Holy crap, it's 95F here, way too freaking hot to do anything right now, lol.

And looks like Aug 24 is when temperatures start their noticeable semi-permanent decline. This is good.

 

[swbluto]

See your OLD HIGHScHOOL MATH TEACHER'S MESSAGE AND OTHER NOTIFICATIONS...

What... how the hell did he find my facebook profile? And what did he have to say?

Okay, well, let's see this message...

Log in...

Oh sorry, you're going to have to collect 3 confirmation numbers from people you never talk to.

NEXT OPTION

Upload a photo ID that doesn't even exactly match your facebook profile name.

Ok, you know what facebook...

And, I just removed the t-post. I ended up giving up on the pulaski because it only went so deep, and used the auger to go straight down. Worked like a charm.

[youtube]6Mgqbai3fKo[/youtube]

Have no idea what it's saying, but I can detect particular sequences that definitely sound like they really want something badly... yearning... maybe love, I really have no idea. I just know it definitely seems to resonate with my core.

Anyway, I do like this latin pop music. It has the elements of the suave "gangster" style without the primitiveness of black people music in its various forms; it actually has sophistication.

 

[Dauntless]

Have no idea what it's saying, but I can detect particular sequences that definitely sound like they really want something badly... yearning... maybe love, I really have no idea. I just know it definitely seems to resonate with my core.

I just want Shakira. Then again, from what I hear about her I'm better off without. Let's see, she made this comment about her longtime relationship with this guy was already so like a marriage they didn't have to get married. I'm not sure if she had met this other guy yet when she said that, but she was immediately "Taking time off" so she could have a baby with this other guy. . . .

. . . .Farming Simulator 15 (Xbox game). . . .

Seriously. What OTHER sort of simulators might you play? Bubonic Plague simulator? Antebellum South Slavery simulator? Why would one wish to "Simulate" farming?

It's good to see the only point of many of the males here is to discourage me, lol. (In other words, you know who you are... SUCK MY. . . .)

I could point up some MAJOR discouragement for you there.

 

[swbluto]

Have no idea what it's saying, but I can detect particular sequences that definitely sound like they really want something badly... yearning... maybe love, I really have no idea. I just know it definitely seems to resonate with my core.

I just want Shakira. Then again, from what I hear about her I'm better off without. Let's see, she made this comment about her longtime relationship with this guy was already so like a marriage they didn't have to get married. I'm not sure if she had met this other guy yet when she said that, but she was immediately "Taking time off" so she could have a baby with this other guy. . . .

Yeah, totally agree, she seems like a fun gal.

. . . .Farming Simulator 15 (Xbox game). . . .[/q

Seriously. What OTHER sort of simulators might you play? Bubonic Plague simulator? Antebellum South Slavery simulator? Why wold one wish to "Simulate" farming?

So I have a better idea of how to farm, that's why! Anyway, I think I've determined that machine is fictional, but it sure would be nice if a dedicated "stump puller" for the big trees existed. Seems like a bulldozer or frontloader is typically deployed to push trees over; or a backhoe to leverage the tree from the top, I think?

As to discouragement, I think the fat people percentages here are working against me. Denver has double the percentages of fit people compared to Houston, it appears; Houston doesn't even appear in the top 30 cities for "fitness" unlike Austin, TX and Los Angeles, CA. (Of course, Austin is special with its average age of 25 years old, well below the national average of around 35 years old; so its fitness more than likely has much to do with its youthful citizens more than anything, rather than its occupants being fitness oriented.). I think that's what that guy meant by "This city is choking for pussy"... he literally meant, it's choking for fit healthy-looking females. Apparently south american countries don't have this issue, everywhere you walk you see a bombshell; they aren't gorging at the trough like most American pigs.

The obvious thing working against right now is income, but I see that being temporary. The idea I knew I was making more than her at the time had much to do with my feeling I was better than her. I don't usually approach women(And that includes making moves) I feel are "better than me", and income is one major yardstick I use. (Seeing as to how this is important in marriages, it's not hard to see it applying everywhere else.)

Anyway, white girl riding by in her gocart along with hubbie/bf the passenger, and she was laughing in derision at the RV. Funny thing, the guy wasn't laughing; he's probably making payments on his mobile, lol, and might actually be a little jealous.

Anyway... I hate feeling like I need to explain that business necessities (Time is of essence) left me little choice... but anyway, doesn't matter, I plan on selling it within 2 months (Can't get on the property, it's useless; wouldn't store valuable equipment inside.). Start moving the assets tomorrow and will likely start construction sometime mid-september.

Anyway, I'm reading that houston is one very racist and very income segregated city. Methinks = Whites are living rich off the mexican and minority slaves. Kind of seems like it looking at all the new cars being driven around. Anyway, being white... I can't say I feel like I'm going to do poorly in this kind of environment, lol. But... on the other hand... sometimes I wonder if I have some kind of disability that puts me in the same group, in terms of treatment, as black people. That idea is kind of disheartening. It's not a thought process normally present in my daily affairs, but sometimes comes up when reflecting on certain events and plausible historical trends. (Comes up often enough by certain people that "I feel like I'm talking to a teenager"... so likely we're talking more about ... a possibly less developed theory of mind and associated social cognition ages. Which plausibly has something to do with it... which makes me curse under my breath when it feels like I'm falling for a teenage girl's mentality when I know she'll grow out of it in time, lol. Which is one of the big reasons I didn't want to think this girl was in highschool...but you know what... I don't think that's /really/ important... it just matters insomuch asto how much I fall for her, which is actually pretty darn important - I don't make passionate moves on people I don't fall for; I don't want to make false assumptions, but I guess I don't resonate with the mentality of "average adult woman", I possibly love 'em just a little immature.)

http://www.ninegps.com/8-signs-youre-dating-an-immature-man-or-woman/

Being in a romantic relationship with an immature man or woman is like managing a high-schooler. There is nothing good that can come from it. This is especially true for a man or woman with aspirations of someday being married. Great bonding can only occur if you are equally immature.

Amen, maturity/immaturity seems like it should be similar for great bonding to occur. And, usually... you don't need to assess for maturity... great bonding /just happens/. (Or more often, doesn't happen, lol)

I guess... I do have a talent for getting the girls horny when I want to... which does seem to be the despised domain of some black people ("They're stealing our white women!")...so I guess the overlap, if there is any, isn't all that bad, lol. Like an animal, yowza.

Well, I'm seeing a lot of this in reverse, white women stealing all the blackmen. How does that even work? I'm pretty sure most girls are getting poached by guys.

Figured it out,I should just go to some wiccan convent or something. Bound to find someone there, lol.

https://www.meetup.com/The-Geek-Symposium/ - Cool, bunch of houston geeky events. Just cool, not thinking the place where I'll find a girl, lol.

Anyway... that girl... she was so unique... her personality was all over the place. In this sequence...

-confident happy-go-lucky energetic flirtatious girl with short temper [me-liked]
-voluptuous female with sensuality (The orgasmic response) [ooo la la, me-liked, lol]
-nervous insecure little twit (Rejection phase) [ick, get this thing away from me, lol]
-super excited/happy higher pitched girl, as if talking nicely/fondly (After embrace) [ehhh, seems a little affected/fake]
-Super excited/happy little girl (As I was leaving) [wow, so charming and endearing. Omg, me like, lol. I think it was getting me pretty sexually excited, lol, like a stag encountering a doe in heat. I sure don't wantto assume I'm some kind of child sex abuse person just waiting to happen... lol... but yet... I think she was appealing to common instincts...lolita instincts maybe...]

Just so many facets to her person... I could swear she didn't really have a "strong personality" that remained consistent... she just seemed strong at the beginning.

There was one thing pretty consistent however...she was definitely excellent at arousing me, regardless of the mask she was wearing.... I'm pretty sure those masks were specifically chosen for that purpose... she was horny... I made her even more horny...

 

[Dauntless]

Anyway, white girl riding by in her gocart along with hubbie/bf the passenger, and she was laughing in derision at the RV. Funny thing, the guy wasn't laughing; he's probably making payments on his mobile, lol, and might actually be a little jealous.

That's HER! All this search of yours and you don't even recognize her.

 

[swbluto]

I don't know enough about these women, but... I'm thinking... send them over! lol.

The only attribute questionable in her person is mentally unstable...

http://www.mentalhealth.com/home/dx/borderlinepersonality.html

Individuals with Borderline (Emotionally Unstable) Personality Disorder are emotionally unstable and overreact to stress with extremes of sadness, anxiety, and anger;

I didn't witness her being on the extremes of the negative emotions (Other than extreme transient sadness and anxiety during the rejection phase), but her having /extreme emotions/ is unquestionable. I could see, however, her person having something along the lines of BPD in terms of "being unwanted" (She was a little freaky at times, definitely unusual.) yet that remains unproven.

I can't decide what kind of person I want to be.

Indeed, she had no consistency in personality and wore many masks.

She will switch quickly from idealizing other people to devaluing them.

Sometimes I wonder if she was trying to devalue me by using insensitive labels and not just being unthinking/stupid. Didn't bother me at the time because I read her tone of voice more than her statement (Dreamy sigh tone), but her emphasis on 'complete stranger' while true, does seem to suggest she was devaluing. Which would obviously be advantageous for her if I was leaving her, thus limiting her emotional losses. And, it turns out, that's what happened, not something I controlled. (Begging for the acceptance of someone, then getting it, than acting so happy/excited about it, and then emphasizing them being a complete stranger in departing seems like someone's suddenly trying to be hurtful. And, if this was a harbinger of things to come... of her being a non-stopping hurtful little bitch... maybe it was a good thing nothing progressed and the month long fantasy was the ideal outcome. But... I can't say her being hurtful actually hurt me... it only motivated me to "stick it to her" and teach that bitch a lesson, lol, which I'm assuming she was betting on.)

 

[swbluto]

I'm not really looking right now. I could tell my posture was becoming more erect in the presence of an attractive female, not something I had premeditated, just something I noticed in retrospect. Anyway, this 20-something girl at Kroger's was very much like a sweet southern country grammy in her personality. I can't say her personality really intrigued me like that emotionally unstable short-tempered weird girl at HEB. I'm not really sure about her personality... something about her personality reminds me of gremlins, lol, and I don't really know how to explain in what way. Her emotions were quickly changing on the dime and she appeared gremlin-like in her personality... lol... it had the unusualness-quality of gremlins... lol

Food, fuel, water. The 3 things that require those lengthy trips. I'm getting better at combining trips to reduce unnecessary trips, maximizing weekly/monthly fuel economy. Right now, I'm not planning on filling up until I absolutely have to; delaying delayable purchases to maximize savings.

I'm starting to think that every race who migrated out of the african plains is intrinsically more advanced than the african natives. I'm not really sure why... I'm going to guess the northern environments that were required for human tribes to cross into the Americas via the bering strait required food planning to survive through the winter, which required more intelligence, so even though the south americans don't necessarily need to plan for the winter, they're intrinsically more intelligent than Africans because their bering-strait-crossing ancestors did.

I don't think that necessarily explains india's native and southeast asians, though... they don't really have to plan either, but they seem to be more sophisticated than Africans... at least I think. Maybe there's another factor at play. Granted, what I've heard of India's infrastructure in terms of sanitary practices does make me suspect maybe they really aren't that advanced. Writing appears to have spread to india and great works of literature were produced... I wonder if writing spread to central Africa and similarly great historic works of literature were produced. I can't recall any immediately...

I'm not finding much evidence of central africa having their own system of writing independent of northern neighbors. Seems like all the "great works" of literature of central africa were written in Arabic, which is cheating, and definitely not finding great works of literature produced before 1000 a.d.; they all seem kind of modern.

And found out that dogs are more needy than bunnies and cats.

http://metro.co.uk/2015/12/29/12-reasons-rabbits-are-better-than-cats-and-dogs-5482705/

Unlike dogs they[bunnies] don’t act like they’ve been stuck alone in a bunker for a year and you’re the first person to open the door when you get home.
Unlike cats they don’t look at you like they know you wore your pants two days in a row at the weekend.

They[bunnies] want normal amount of attention?!! Tell mine that.

That's it, there's no substitute for a dog. I want one with low body weight to keep food costs down.

 

[swbluto]

I see these two girls saw me walking near my encampment on the road and they've circled the block like 6 times, I think they're hoping to see me again. I totally didn't realize they were girls until I just saw them recently go with a smile, lol, and that might explain why they keep circling the block.

I'm pretty confident these are prepubscent girls.

Walking outside near my encampment, I walk with an alpha male posture and confident gait. Because, well, it's like my territory, lol. I'm also shirtless because shirts get wet with sweat and become yucky to wear. My physique is like a chiseled chest, cannons for arms, and almost no tummy flab. [I pretty much just wear my shirt when going to the store, and even then, I don't wear it until I'm physically at the store and the door is opened to let the outside air in; I don't have AC because people in Spokane don't believe in AC, and just destroy the system instead of recharging it.]

Believe me, the girls are responding to the posture and gait.

There doesn't seem to be a lot of consistency in whose riding these go-karts. I think it's pretty much shared between the neighbors on the main street. It's kind of hard to believe all ~16 people I've seen all own the same go-kart, lol.

And HOLY SHIT, a frog just jumped inside my RV. A green frog with a mottled brown pattern.

Yep, it's official, there's now a frog hopping around in the RV, hiding in places I can't easily reach, lol.

http://animal-world.com/newsfeed/frog-luck-bringing-changes-abundance-life/

When a lucky frog comes into your life that’s a sign of transformation, and it may well spark many wonderful changes!

In Japan frogs are a symbol of Good Luck, and the Romans believed that to have a frog would bring good luck into the home.

The Greeks and Romans both associated frogs with fertility and harmony.

Partly due to the very large number of eggs that a frog will lay, it became a symbol of abundance as well. For many cultures that depend on rain for rich and bountiful crops the frog is a good luck symbol, a sign of prosperous weather to come.

In ancient China the frog represented the lunar yin and the Frog spirit Ch’ing-Wa Sheng was associated with healing and good fortune in business.

Well, let the wealth, abundance, prosperity and fertility begin! lol

[I sure wouldn't have minded if it happened with that HEB girl, either, lol. Weird and immature, exactly whom my heart pines for, apparently.]

The timing is a little uncanny, since there's a lot of "significant changes" happening in that general direction at the moment. I'd guess I'm about 9 full evenings away from full fence and gate installation and about 2 weeks from full security upgrades implementation.

I was reading that BPD can manifest in risky sex, drug and alcohol abuse, gambling, dangerous behaviors, and excessive spending.

That 'excessive spending' caught my eye.

Especially with threads like https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/5o6orr/why_wives_spend_all_your_money/.
And Dauntless's story of many a failed relationship in this vein.

Why wives spend all your money.

But, I think is a pretty easy problem to address. Be a man and take leadership in that direction and don't let her touch your money, at least not most of it, especially if she demonstrably lacks financial prudence. Part of being an attractive man is having the power/control and making the rules and not letting her walk right over you.

Vengo pa ca...

I keep hearing this "Se tu quieres"... meaning "If you want"...

Oh man, Ricky Martin, are you talking to a female? I think you are. I'm just informing you, that's not how it works. She wants what you want, and it's your job to make it clear what you want.

I think maybe I'm going to leave a hint somewhere...

Trying to figure out how i'm going to phrase it...

GOING BANANAS. HAVE A GREAT LIFE!

Sounds innocent enough, but the person who it's intended for should immediately recognize it.

It does make several assumptions which may or may not be true.

Anyway, I'm just wondering a non-all-my-hours kind of method of getting in contact... I really don't want to be hanging out in the parking lot all morning long... that does come off a bit stalkerish/desperate and there's definitely a police threat. And, I really just don't want to do that... I just want her to know I didn't forget about her, which she might've eventually assumed and "gave up".

Update: Been noticing this top right forehead pain has been a persistent feature over the last 3 days. Seems to be triggered by standing or lifting up (I'd guess reduced blood flow in the head during this movement) and less noticeably triggered by stress. Seems to be more common in the early morning before eating, suggesting low blood sugar could be contributing (lessened bloodflow or possibly higher cortisol caused by low blood sugar). Suggests vascular involvement, and likely candidates are hematoma, stenosis or possible blockage in the right carotid. Seeing as to how I had a likely right carotid TIA almost a year ago due to a very transient left sided hemiparesis (Complete loss of muscle tone/control), this suggests something in a similar vein. I want to think it's this sore muscle in my right neck, though, with likely attachment points at the top of the forehead because the right neck muscles are definitely noticeably sore.

 

[Dauntless]

[youtube]8T3qoBjzRMs[/youtube]

Basically when this first came out a feminist college professor got herself and lied about the documentary, it looks questionable that she ever saw it and just wanted to sabotage it.

So the wife in this couple I knew was out of work. Time budget, right? He wasn't getting much cooperation from her on that. So it was a week from payday and he had to commute to work. Before he left he told his wife that they were going to have to seriously work on the grocery budget for him to be able to buy gas all the way to payday. When he got home she had spent about everything buying whatever she might want for the next week or so he couldn't tell her no in the budgeting. So he tells her that now he can't go to work and the net paycheck will be small. She acted as though he was doing this to punish her. He opened another checking account so this wouldn't happen again.

I don't think the odd theories on what they're up to not handling money well have any ability to hold water. I think they just don't want to bother handling money well. I have a relative who is a DISASTER with money. She gets along with her husband just fine. She spends on whatever she WANTS then starts trying to bed from relatives because she NEEDS something. But she won't stop spending on what she wants no matter how the finances continue. I think in most cases it's the same as always, they're just in denial of the problems they cause and want to believe that all it will take to get away with it is to keep from getting caught. Which of course can never work, but they're in denial.

[youtube]Ww1-DJxapZw[/youtube]
[youtube]HFi4vQF8-xQ[/youtube]

 

[swbluto]

I don't think the odd theories on what they're up to not handling money well have any ability to hold water. I think they just don't want to bother handling money well. I have a relative who is a DISASTER with money. She gets along with her husband just fine. She spends on whatever she WANTS then starts trying to bed from relatives because she NEEDS something. But she won't stop spending on what she wants no matter how the finances continue. I think in most cases it's the same as always, they're just in denial of the problems they cause and want to believe that all it will take to get away with it is to keep from getting caught. Which of course can never work, but they're in denial.

There are people who can't resist the desire to acquire things they want and they could give a care less of their ability to afford it (I think the difficulty in managing money has some play here; it takes dedication and some smarts to handle money well as well as restraint, and it's much easier to just ignore it because you don't know how to accurately predict expenses and future savings and whatnot.), but there's also the people who just simply have no problem wrecklessly spending OTHER PEOPLE'S MONEY, lol. I think that characterizes many wives spending their husband's money; it's other people's money they're spending, lol.

I think some people could care less about savings, not really seeing the utility of it. If the income is fairly consistent/reliable and basic needs are taken care of (Housing/auto/etc.), it's pretty easy to disregard savings because there's not strictly a need for it right now. People with more unpredictable income would likely tend to value savings more.

 

[Dauntless]

. . . . there's also the people who just simply have no problem wrecklessly spending OTHER PEOPLE'S MONEY, lol. I think that characterizes many wives spending their husband's money; it's other people's money they're spending, lol.

If they think that they have a problem. But I've noticed most anyone out of touch with earning money is very bad with money.

[youtube]m-RtAga5DuE[/youtube]

 

[swbluto]

True, those who don't work for money don't necessarily appreciate the sweat equity behind it.

Anyway, checking out the local dating sites, it turns out the girls I'm looking for apparently tend to segregate themselves into the nicer areas, like the woodlands (Office parks set on a riveria). That would only make too much sense; when I apply for work there, and if I find work there, there's a chance I might encounter some of them. [There was already one approaching me in the Barnes&Noble when I visited there as part of my Malls Of Houston tour; getting just a little ever closer, lol.]

For example, girls that care about fitness & "living healthy" (I'd be fine with just "living healthy"). I was wondering if they existed in this city! I assumed it was the norm based on the culture of the West coast but apparently not in these parts!

I suddenly found my attachment to that girl went way down after seeing there are other non-highschool candidates, lol. Makes me think her attachment for me likewise vanished with all her future customers, though I strongly suspect despair happened sometime. The strong oxytocin driven bond was definitely there. I didn't personally know at the time that the (direct/relentless/persisting) gaze created that kind of strong bond, but now I know, lol.

Anyway, I didn't fully explain her reaction. While the exaggerated orgasmic facial dynamics were happening, her entire body was undulating back and forth like a snake. So, she was really getting into imagining the sex, I think... lol (Unless it's some other kind of response I don't entirely intuit)

No doubt the customer behind me was witnessing this. Kind of wonder what he was thinking? lol. [Kind of wonder if he took her...]

Anyway, it was pretty neat seeing that I had that affect on a girl. Her cheeks flush red, obviously feeling deep affection. She wasn't like this before I met her, so I obviously had a huge impact on her. It's kind of like one of my dogs when they're feeling the love, except this was an attractive female I liked who was feeling it... so a little different kind of appreciation.

I'm seeing these chubby girls with good facial structures and I'm just like... man... if she laid off the processed carbs and got a little exercise in... I could see her being a bombshell. I think America could benefit getting back to humanity's tribal roots.

It's interesting seeing this guy back in Dallas boasting about his property and location at 68, and I'm like "Dude, I have pretty much the same thing, only I'm 30,", lol. Granted, I don't have the 3500 sq. ft. house but that's a matter of accumulated savings and time. I definitely don't think it should take me 38 years to get what I'm seeking; if everything goes as planned, I'm thinking more likely less than 5 years. A pretty good chance of less than 2, but I should give at least a year for affluent housing construction, so 3 minimum.

Based on 50,000/yr gross

18% federal tax
8% fica
10% health insurance
10% student loan
5% commute costs
10% car insurance

So, about 39% of gross is takehome, or about $19500. Well, that does fit with my 2 year timeline estimate, just that wow, I'd be making a lot less than I thought I would at first glance.

Student loan wouldn't kick in until next year around June though, so there's a little time to pocket the difference assuming a relatively short search. It might be possible to push the health insurance cost down... this I just don't know enough about. And, I could possibly get away with no car insurance but I don't really know for how long with daily commutes of that kind of distance.

Let's estimate based on 40,000

15% federal tax
8% fica
13% health insurance
10% student loan
8% commute costs
12% car insurance

So, about 66% removed, or 34% of gross is takehome, which would be $13,600.

Wow, that's absolutely pathetic. Might as well just get a $20,000/year job 13 miles away at that rate, effective pay would be nearly equivalent.

AND OH COOL, THAT EXPLAINS IT. It seemed like the solar outut was a little lower than normal today this early afternoon, and it seemed kind of weird that a thin cloud would be in front of the sun this entire time. It's actually the total solar eclipse that's supposed to be happening today, oh cool. Seemed kind of freaky.

Anyway, did a more thoughtful analysis of timing. Actually, if I were to acquire employment somewhere towards the end of the year, that would be ideal, because than my reported income would be minimal which gets reported to the loan servicers. So, I could potentially get a full year of not getting taxed at 10%. That'd be especially crucial for the first year, since the first tens of thousands matters the most in terms of saving up for housing construction. (And, actually, I'd be able to accumulate earnings for about 1.5 years without paying on my student loans since it gets updated in the middle of the year, so that'd greatly assist with housing construction savings.)

Car and health insurance are the questionable items as to avoidance/minimizing. Seems the financial behemoths want to stick it to me in the (government mandated) insurance markets because they know they can get away with it (Except where outlawed, which is quite a number of states actually). At one time, I thought it'd be great to find a low cost car insurance provider that provided almost absolutely no actual service (to keep their own costs low) ; the no-car-insurance car-insurance company, lol. But I'm guessing there are laws regulating the car insurance companies that might make that impractical (Or, more than likely, class action lawsuits might be the limiting factor).

Match.com is telling me someone found my profile and is interested in me, lol. I kind of believe it actually, too, just that my profile intro is some auto-generated fakeness so they really have no inkling what my persona is like, so I don't take much faith in it.

Never been married.
Fine wine connoiseurs.
Likes to have kids someday.

Enough for a stable foundation? Who knows, there definitely needs to be sexual chemistry, which is pretty rare, actually, and I don't think online matching systems are effective at that. Forcing myself to be sexually interested is not one of my talents. Anyway, I think about how the conversation started off with her...

I think it was the way her voice sounded initially... "I'm interested in you"... is what it sounded like I think.
Then I started preening, emphasizing my attractive traits.
Then she said something...
And I responded in a deep grovelly voice (Sexy voice)... "Oh is that so?"...
Then she bit her lip and turned around for my pleasure, I turned my head to the side, I bit my hand and groaned in agony, lol.

So, if it started somewhere... it likely started with her... that tone of voice as if she was interested. I don't really know if that's all that's required to attract me, lol, perhaps there's some other factors involved ('attractive personality', she was energetic, happy-go-lucky,flirtatious and quick-tempered; it certainly culminated from the beginning, and the quick-temper certainly pushed me over the threshold to make daring moves.), but maybe it was just that simple. I think back on various events... them expressing interest does tend to beget my interest. And, it's definitely in the way their voice sounds, much like Shakira's Chantaje - the way they sound at times as if they really want something.

The fake laughter doesn't really trigger my interest, but it's that sound in their voice as if "I want you", even if the question/statement is something benign and kind of irrelevant. (At the time, "Why are you getting so many bananas?")

Update: Looks like ... purportedly... 6 women are interested in me, lol. With my autogenerated profile crap? Really... lol.

They look pretty cute too. Granted, I think it's probably mostly fakeness (the site trying to manipulate me into subscribing), but I think maybe there might be one or two who aren't fake.

If it isn't fake... who sent all the cute girls my way? lol. Oh, I see, it's views. Yeah, whatever. Still, wow, that's a pretty high proportion of cute girls looking at my profile.

Anyway, curious about the difference between bf/gf and dating. Because, it'd seem a little weird to be a gf/bg without ever actually having been on a date (Unless the checkout experience WAS the date, lol.), but yet, it felt like we were. So what exactly does this term mean?

https://forums.soompi.com/en/topic/282553-difference-between-dating-goingout-boyfriendgirlfriend/

Basically... dating = non-exclusive. boyfriend/girlfriend = exclusive.

Oh, I see. So the pair-bonding (The significant oxytocin release and her imprinting onto memory) that had happened with my relentless gaze was the exclusivity element, so I guess technically we could've been considered bf/gf, at least for that particular moment and maybe sometime after. I have a feeling she 'gave up' long before I did, because she probably realized the futility of my getting in contact with her long before I did. I didn't realize the futility until I confirmed her ceasing employment their 1.25 months later. When she gave up, whenever that was, she likely despaired and to what extent... I really have no idea. It is very possible she was heart-broken for at least a couple days.

 

[Dauntless]

I wasn't referring to sweat equity, just the sense that when the money is gone, it's gone. Never mind you have more checks, there's no more in the account. The people who say 'There'll always be more, that's what more MEANS' are simply too out of touch. They start referring to "Abundance" as though there's somethig laying around they can just claim.

You could look for something like this around you. https://www.paintnite.com/

 

[swbluto]

I wasn't referring to sweat equity, just the sense that when the money is gone, it's gone. Never mind you have more checks, there's no more in the account. The people who say 'There'll always be more, that's what more MEANS' are simply too out of touch. They start referring to "Abundance" as though there's somethig laying around they can just claim.

Oh, so the 'there's always going to be more money in the future, when the next paycheck comes in', lol. Yep. the people who feel there's some sort of income stability. I think the guys who feel like they have income stability tend to feel more materially secure and are more likely to attract/pursue girls, so this wouldn't necessarily be a wrong belief. I do know when my finances felt more abundant and stable and there were no threats to my income in terms of a stable and viable power source pre-late-july, I was definitely feeling empowered and pursuant in a way I didn't after the honda died, lol. After the honda died, my faith in the economic viability of gas generators vanished, and that's currently what I'm using because diesel generators are beyond my current savings levels and I don't have another viable alternative /at my current savings levels/, lol.

So, I'm not really looking like I was early July. Body language is somewhat diminished. But if I came across another version of her, would that stop me? lol. it's possible she wouldn't have communicated the same amount of interest, i would've acted differently, and the outcome would've been entirely different. It would've been a "normal" checkout experience, lol.

And something I've recently noticed, sexual aggression(libido) and satisfaction is a lot higher on the days I run. so, i guess it has more benefits than helping to reverse heart damage. Might help increase the chances of getting lucky, and when do you get lucky, feel even luckier, lol.

And yippee! tomorrow looks like it should be the last of the 'really hot' days for the year. it'll be so nice when the temps get down to 'not sweating' temps, lol. Not only would sweating not be common midday, working outside all day should become a possibility, not just something reserved for the morning and evening hours. (meaning, i should be able to get a lot of outdoor tasks done of which there's many. stump pulling, garden preparation(mattock,soil amendment with compost,tilling), fence, etc.)

Watching this YT video talking of the "disturbing trend" of girlfriends wanting simulated rape fantasies and the such, as a sign of them 'wanting to be abused'. LOL. Jeez, people, holy crap... they're looking for a man that fearlessly goes after what he wants, and they already know they want their body, that's just instinct, so this 'forcing them to have sex' plays into it... and it's not even being 'forced' once they relinquish and surrender willingly and so it's not even rape. They want to feel forced into surrender, and i think they want to feel that 'power' the man ideally (and quite naturally should) has/have.

i think that's why that girl was under a spell when I fearlessly gave my "I'm going to ravish your body" eyes. Because, woo, you just don't come across powerful men going directly after what he wants that often in modern America. I don't really know why modern men are emasculated to the degree they are, but they appear to be weaker than generations of old, and I'm guessing a widespread dearth of old-fashioned hard work (physical labor) has something to do with it. The demand for hard work wasn't in short supply 200 years ago. but, i'm just guessing, i have no idea. possessing territory and being a business owner might have something to do with it, in terms of 'feelings of power'.

nder
Oh, really? I think this 'being mean' comes across as something more playful than being truly mean-spirited, so I think there's a difference.

I'm simulating those orgasmic facial expressions and i just realized... she's probably just gasping for air. i don't immediately understand the precise emotion she was experiencing, but i don't think she was explicitly re-enacting sex. I almost get this hint like she's feeling 'i want this so bad', but I don't really know, 'heart melt' is a good suspicion. But... she was undeniably motioning a desire for sex at the end with the pelvic thrust, so... when did that enter into play... hmmm... the gaze might've been it, that would make sense. So she might've been imagining it, but i don't think she was explicitly reenacting it.

It's interesting, how she came across as a 'treating me really nicely' girl towards the end when she obviously was sexually interested following my sexual pursuit of her. Kind of makes me think those girls who act all sorts of nice really just want me to take them to bed, hmmm...lol. Now that's a good suspicion.

update: came across sweet southern country grammy personality girl again. she came across as a different girl this time... i'm not really sure why. like, a fairly normal kind-of-shy/reserved kind of girl who just happens to be a little cute. it's funny, i learned her name and i looked at the nametag of the guy next to me, and i remembered one person's name and not hte other. not hard to imagine why! as much as i think i'm not interested, she obviously has my attention to some extent, lol. (She was glancing earlier, good sign.)

as to developments there, nothing is developing. As much as I don't want to believe I disappointed her expectations, i get the sense maybe I did somehow in someway [I thought I was sensing vague disappointment]. It doesn't really bother me, it's just whatever.

Anyway, the guy manning the self checkout... pretty confident he's gay. He's not as flamboyant as the gay guys I've seen in the nuclear navy, but he definitely has the tale-tale signs. I don't really know if my gaydar is so good because I'm just really socially perceptive or because I'm gay or some such, lol. I swear I'm not gay, though... not even curious. I think I'm just good at reading most people; not everyone... that heb chick puzzled me here and there... but most.

Anyway, picked up some wildcaught canadian kippers because it was the only acceptable fish thingie that was 1) not packed in oil 2) not farmed or caught in asia 3) didn't require a can opener (didn't have a can opener on me). Anyway... wow... kippers is some good stuff. I can definitely tell my tastebuds appreciated all that fatty fatness in the fish that is primarily omega-3s(DHA and EPA), and kippers is loaded with fish oil. Apparently it's a favorite of norway and they are oh so healthy according to http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/kippers-and-bits-51188010 . Apparently someone spilled the beans on walmart's alaskan pink salmon (probably me, lol), because someone nearly cleaned them out, lol.

Kippers(herring) does appear to have 5x the mercury concentration of canned salmon at https://www.fda.gov/food/foodborneillnesscontaminants/metals/ucm115644.htm.

However, 3.5 oz of herring contains 2g of omega-3s, whereas 15 oz of salmong contains around 4g, so it appears the amount of mercury per omega-3s is roughly comparable (Well, canned salmon is still nearly half that of herring).

Wow, mackerel is loaded with mercury. That was the other kind of fish I was considering buying. Looks like the small guys (shrimp, oysters, clams, scallops) are fairly venial, but they almost all seem to be farmed in china at walmart.

Anyway... people were conjecturing why there was so much construction going on in Texas...

I know firsthand why.

-Private land is cheap and abundant.
-Illegal mexican labor is cheap and abundant. Todos los chinga pedazos de mierda mexicanos en mi barrio puede chupame polla.

Cheap land and cheap construction labor means lower prices and subsequently more demand by homebuyers -> more construction.

This also has other spill-on affects, with less money tied up in real-estate, there's more money flowing in the other sectors of the economy, auto being an obvious one. Lots of modern new cars being driven around these parts; just about all the 'used looking cars' in the parking lots here predictably have out-of-state plates, including mine. lol

Mine looks used, but it's surprisingly young in terms of mileage. That's because it looks like it was taken out of service for about 7 years or so when I purchased it, and it looks like it was taken out of service because of a dirty ECG valve, and I'm guessing they couldn't afford the repair or the impound fees wherever it was abandoned, and so we took home, I smartly deduced it was a problem with the intake (Engine would start and run but soon die afterwards), my dad figured out it was an ECG valve, so we located it and cleaned it out and the van runs like new.

When/if I start employment, I'm going to be doing daily washing and frequent washing of the vehicle because it looks like it needs it. I actually want to do daily washing soon, to be done after each running session, I just need to pick up a loofah (ball mesh).

Anyway, it's interesting to think that there are certain things that tend to be financial drains.

For example, girls, real estate, cars, etc.

The possession of which tends to come with ongoing costs. I wouldn't say always, necessarily... but usually in most "normal" contexts. [For example, no car insurance -> no ongoing costs. agricultural exemption with large tracts -> little ongoing costs. A cost conscious/thrifty significant other whom themselves is a wage earner -> not necessarily much ongoing costs. But, are those the norms? Not necessarily.]

http://elitedaily.com/dating/why-men-love-crazy-women/1144264/

We've all heard it before: “Crazy girls are better in bed.”

Dr. Prause confirmed this age-old truism for us. She explained that men, on average, tend to have a higher sex drive than women (shocker!).

People who have higher sex drives “tend to engage in a wider range of sexual behaviors, such as oral sex, anal sex and same-sex behaviors.”

And who else tends to have a higher sex drive? Mentally unstable women (who suffer from mania, borderline personality disorder or similar mental disorders).

Needless to say, “men's sexual preferences are probably better matched to these women.”

Mhmmm. Could explain some things.

And, I'm thinking more about that guy's line "Girls secretly want to be abused." by citing the commonplace rape fantasies. Considering how some seem to act out of line on purpose, I'm thinking there are more than a handful girls who do want to be abused. I'm not going to claim all of them, but at least a handful.

http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Want-To-Be-Abused-By-Men/2692716

I Want To Be Abused I am so happy I stumbled upon this forum as I have always wanted to be abused my men. It has been a dream and a fantasy of mine since I was young and I wound up in relationships with some nice guys and some jerks but none of them enough to be fulfilling. I really want to find a man who will hit me and call me names and degrade me and push me over so I fall hard on the floor and make me cry and give me a black eye every now and then. I wish such a man existed in my world. My dad only beat me a few times when I was growing up and I hated it. But I can't explain why it has become an obsession of mine for about 8 years now...

Here's one of them.

http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Want-To-Be-Abused-By-Men/3625860

Just Completely Destroy Me It might sound disturbing, but what I've always wanted more than anything was to be forcefully ****** and physically abused. I wanted bruise marks, scratches, bite marks, etc. I want my hair pulled and my nipples bitten so hard. I do respect myself and my body, so only my lover will be able to do this to me, but somehow I always end up with the "nice" ones! Why? Probably because I seem secure and strong on the surface and the nice ones are very attracted to that sort of stability, but I always fantasize about them completely turning around 180 degrees and ******* me hard whether I like it or not. I want this so much!!! RAWR.

Here's another.

Considering how often this is coming up, I don't think this is all that rare. Strangely enough, when I think I hinted of an abusive nature during my rejection of her, I think that turned her on. I think she wanted that abusive fulfillment. Seems like a common thread of this desire is them acting out of line on purpose, trying to provoke you, because they want that abuse.

And if I remember correctly, the immensely popular 50 shades of grey is about a powerful business man entering a [contractual] abusive relationship with a female college student.

Interesting insight.

http://www.askmen.com/dating/doclove_150/164_relationship_expert.html

In essence, yes Bennet, I think that women do have an innate need to test and push their men. Why, exactly, must they do it? Ask 50 shrinks and you'll get 50 different answers. But I say that one of the main reasons they push is to see if there's anything there to push up against.
They need to know that you have a backbone, that you'll set limits, that you'll stand up for yourself. It makes them feel safe when you won't take any crap. It somehow provides them with reassurance that you are strong enough and confident enough to fight back when you're provoked and that you're capable of protecting them from danger.
Trying to check a man's protective capabilities by starting arguments is not totally logical, but it is bio -logical. It's a drive that goes back to the days when the womenfolk huddled in the cave while the men fought off a pack of ravenous saber-toothed tigers.

A woman's actual physical survival was dependent on having a strong, brave male at her side who could hunt and kill dangerous animals, and protect her from hostile tribes. That survival-based drive for a provider/protector still motivates the modern female.

Looks like they're testing your protective ability, in terms of willingness & execution in fighting back and testing your physical/verbal strength. So abusing them reassures them you have what it takes to protect them. [That sounds like some twisted BS, but it's the best explanation I have so far. I would assume there are other (non-abuse) displays of protective ability available, but I'm not sure if they're as effective.]

Oh cool, looks like a tropical depression or "weak hurricane" is hitting houston tonight. Looks like because I'm far enough inland, I don't really have to worry about things like hurricanes and whatnot, but I still get the rainfall and some wind. Been noticing the wind and thunder recently as of 7:46 p.m.

Update: 8:02 p.m.; installing one side of t-posts while wearing my bee suit (mosquito protection), and a bunch of bees started swarming me and attacked! I felt one prick me just near my left armpit, and so I started running, still heard the buzzing, hopped in the van, still heard the buzzing, figured they were in the bee-suit so I got out and quickly disrobed and now I got like 4 bees flying around my beesuit on the ground, lol.

Anyway, I got stung by bees once when I was 8, so if I were allergic to them, I might still have the antibodies, and there's a possibility they might trigger an allergic reaction. Let's learn the symptoms just in case.

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/bee-stings/symptoms-causes/dxc-20251623

Call 911 if...

Skin reactions, including hives and itching and flushed or pale skin
Difficulty breathing
Swelling of the throat and tongue
A weak, rapid pulse
Nausea, vomiting or diarrhea
Dizziness or fainting
Loss of consciousness

At the moment, the sting site hurts a little bit and itches.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10457110 - Looks like severe reactions happens with a chance of 1 out of 44.

So... if there were honey bees around this particular area... that means there's a honeycomb nearby. I wonder where it is?

I'm reading that africanized honey bees commonly swarm, unlike other types.

What are these things? Do they exist here?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Africanized_bee#Geographic_spread_throughout_North_America

Oh, looks like they do!

Africanized bees are typically much more defensive than other species of bee, and react to disturbances faster than European honey bees. They can chase a person a quarter of a mile (400 m); they have killed some 1,000 humans, with victims receiving ten times more stings than from European honey bees.[2] They have also killed horses and other animals.

In October 2010, a 73-year-old man was killed by a swarm of Africanized honey bees while clearing brush on his south Georgia property, as determined by Georgia's Department of Agriculture. In 2012 state officials reported that a colony was found for the first time in a bee keepers colony in Monroe County, eastern Tennessee.[11] In June 2013, 62-year-old Larry Goodwin of Moody, TX was killed by a swarm of bees.

Oh that's good to know, I likely have africanized honey bees on my property and apparently my bee suit is only marginally effective at preventing their stings. This is all good to know, lol. (I think some may have got in my hood when I zipped up, but I don't think they could've got to my left shoulder without going through my suit.)

I think they were provoked by the loud pounding sound of the T-Post driver.

Anyway, just figured out what archetype goes along with the dreamy sigh response.

"Man of my dreams"

https://www.google.com/search?tbm=isch&source=hp&biw=1200&bih=681&q=man+of+my+dreams&oq=man+&gs_l=img.3.0.35i39k1j0l9.898.2753.0.4085.14.11.1.0.0.0.341.1559.2-5j1.6.0....0...1.1.64.img..8.5.1136.0..0i8i30k1.vxAB4kVI1b8

Once-in-a-lifetime vanishes before me. >.<

And, oh, looks like college station,tx has the second lowest unemployment rate in the state(3%). Well, that's certainly comparable in distance compared to The Woodlands, except it's a bit easier to access (All nonstop highway), so I shouldn't dismiss the job opportunities that might be there. Appears there's a few large tech employers there and there might be tech industry there.

Appears computer networking is in demand in the area. That's what my father does, gained his experience in the airforce. I'm not exactly sure how one gains entry-level experience in this field outside the military, doesn't appear entry level opportunities exist. I guess you could apply for tech support positions or similar and get networking training and then possibly parlay that towards a networking position. There might be good opportunities to apply network training in a tech support position; it seems like networking problems happen often enough in the field.

Seems like developer/web/"soft" job opportunities are more commonly found in Houston.

I get the impression there's greater longevity in networking and it's more versatile; it's found in more industries and in more places. Medical is a large user of networking, which is where my father was employed.

 

[The fingers]

https://www.weather.gov/ I'd keep an eye on this Harvey feller if I were you, Sunday might not be fun-day.

 

[swbluto]

https://www.weather.gov/ I'd keep an eye on this Harvey feller if I were you, Sunday might not be fun-day.

Cool. Looks like I'm right on the border of "tropical storm watch" and "Hurricane local statement". I hope it turns out interesting, lol. (I always wanted to experience a hurricane, but I know this will likely be not that significant up here. Thinking I might be driving to Katy, TX so I can experience the full affect, lol. Just kidding.)