Buying forest land, implementing solar

[swbluto]

My impression of how dating works according to the okcupid site, the male initiates the conversation. Female may or may not reply with interest. If interested, possibly pursue her but evaluate her first.

It doesn't help that this method has netted me a drug addict whose personality as conveyed by chat scared the /shit/ out of me, lol.

Girls don't go around liking guys via the hot-or-not-pic-system, but guys do that pretty much entirely.

Liking girls doesn't really net a girl. That requires initiating a convo.

 

[Dauntless]

Ahhh, the 2016 election. What can we do for an encore?

https://www.cnn.com/2018/09/17/politics/michael-bloomberg-2020-presidential-run-democrats/index.html?r=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.cnn.com%2F

Oh good lord, wouldn't this just be too good to be true? And what if he won? Trump would be running again in 2024. Maybe there'd be a Koch in the mix by then.

Ah, 2016 was the gift that keeps on giving.

 

[swbluto]

Looking at my new photos, and looking at my interactions on the okcupid platform, I definitely come across like a popular kid psychopath, lol. Much like the "Queen bee".

And I said it was fun ganging up with the other nextdoor girls on that one hoe... lol...

I guess I'm a queen bee at heart, lol.

Is that why the popular hottie HEB Chick was a natural pairing? She was a queen bee. [And that's why it was other worldly, top of the pack.]

beautiful, charismatic, manipulative, and wealthy, holding positions of high social status, such as being head cheerleader (or being the captain of some other, usually an all-girl, sports team), the Homecoming or Prom Queen (or both), or even being the daughter of the principal or a teacher (usually the principal).

Well, if the shoe fits, lol.

Chatting to myself on okcupid is so fun, lol.

She will be an attention whore and if you are friends with her, you need to satisfy all of her needs

Some metrics suggest I'm an attention whore, lol.

 

[swbluto]

She said she was taking a new birth control medication (or hormone pills) and she started breaking out with a rash, and now they're thinking lupus or scleredoma and she's getting "very weak".

She looked like a stick to me, so I think she doesn't eat enough. That's probably underlying some percentage of the weakness.

Did not hear regular hypoglycemic complaints like my neighbor who's now in jail for child support, so not immediately verifiable.

This is why I'm not a fanboy of unnecessary medications. Immune reactions and whatnot.

---------------

And on the girls and guys of okcupid.

Noticed that the guys were mostly in the "outlying areas" (livingston, huntsville,etc.).

And the girls tended to be more central, presumably living with parents in most cases.

I'm guessing that most guys were on there because "they had a place" (Albeit so far away because of what they could afford) and searching, while the girls were on there trying to escape their parents place.

Pretty symmetric. Familiar story of my parents, mom was living her parents and my father took her in, and she was working as a nurse at the time. He didn't "own" his place, it was provided by the air force.

My location is a bit closer to Houston, and near one of the better towns of Houston IMO. But I'm well aware of that "It's not central because I can't afford it outright just like my peers" dynamic, so similar story as theirs.

-----------------------

It was good I met that girl yesterday. Help reset the dick-shrinking trauma associated with the okcupid girl. I'm thinking that must mean something like... don't have sex with THAT girl, lol. Some girls are worthy of it, others simply aren't. I just don't normally come across those girls in real life, so I wasn't even aware it's a thing.

-------------0---------

If eharmony is about marriages and it ensures the best possible "compatibility", you'd expect a low divorce rate. I wonder how true this might be.

Sources purport 5%. I'm a little suspect, all available sources come off like advertising copy with exclamation points and faux excitement.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/science-news/11124140/Couples-who-met-online-three-times-more-likely-to-divorce.html

Couples who met online three times more likely to divorce

Married couples who met online are three times more likely to divorce than those who met face-to-face, a study has found.

Online daters are also 28 per cent more likely to split from their partners within the first year, new figures from Michigan State University in the US suggest.

Couples who meet online are also less likely to get married and generally have a poorer relationship quality that those who met offline.

“Even though a large percentage of marriages in recent years have resulted from couples meeting online, looking for partners online may potentially suppress the desire for getting married,” said report author Dr Aditi Paul.

Been my impression so far, I've had a lot more benefit from the real world than "okcupid" so far... lol...

The kind of girls on okcupid seem subpar in some critical way. At least the one who responded to me.

Just that places like okcupid /seem/ to resolve the "where to meet" issue that doesn't seem like a reasonably addressed matter in these parts of Houston.

Saw my sister on OkCupid, at least the personality was nearly identical. Ironic she was one of the "pretty girls", lol. (Not really that ironic)

Told her she reminded me of my sister, lol.

Didn't respond back (6 out of 7 didn't respond back; the girl who did appears to use the site daily, the others seem most likely inactive like over a month since the last time they logged in.). In my mind, I would think a greater than average probability match possibility here... but, I don't think the recipient is necessarily going to think that, lol.

 

[swbluto]

Suspected malicious character. Followed satanism? Should be more careful of those girls. Satanism is just like Anarchism, in the sense "Freedom to do whatever you want", except with a specific focus on freedom to be malicious. So, understandably, such a philosophy would attract malicious people. So that's probably why she was scaring the daylights out of me, she was a malicious person. And that's why she was so eager to pursue my lead, finding any and every opportunity for malice, lol. From her pictures though, she looks so harmless, lol.

Oh well, like a rose. Looks pretty until you touch.

------------------

So girls will mention a boyfriend if she wants you but you have some kind of "Can't have you" problem, lol. Funny, because the girl I just helped yesterday brought up her boyfriend out of the blue for no obvious reason. What would be the attainability problem? Oh, she moved. That thing I was helping her with, lol.

She was mildly sexually attractive, something that real life interaction causes that doesn't happen online.

-------------------

On the malicious okcupid girl theory who was scaring me, I'm thinking...

If she were on the "hot and crazy" matrix, she's on the crazy side, lol. I already said the examples given by the guy's was really MALICIOUSNESS, and here I am suspecting this girl was fundamentally malicious, and I was scared of her...

So...

Reasonable to suspect she's crazy. Or what I've considered malicious.

I see I'm getting FULL experience with this "hot and crazy" matrix, HA HA!

In absence of ANY notable maliciousness moments... yeah, the word crazy has the right feel, as much as I don't think she was /really/ crazy. Like, she had reasonable thoughts, I THINK?

Another viewpoint I'm having is... what if she were testing my protective ability and I just failed by being scared of her. Is that what was really going on? lol.

I don't think so, because it works the same way with guys. If the girl's scared of the guy, it ain't happening. If she's comfortable around the guy, it more likely will.

So this scared vs calm thing is universal between guys and girls, so I think. Don't think it has much to do with protective ability, but I could be wrong.

Does that seem reasonable, crazy girls scare you?

https://litreactor.com/columns/the-uncanny-factor-why-little-girls-scare-the-shit-out-of-us

Creepy girls scare you according to this site. Maybe she was creepy.

I /really/ want to know why she was terrifying, because that practically never happens in real life.

Ok, well, NEW IDEA. She was a scary girl.

https://www.google.com/search?q=scary+girl+meme&sa=X&rlz=1C1GCEA_enUS808US808&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&ved=2ahUKEwim5dLMscXdAhVHRqwKHRRuD9AQsAR6BAgAEAE&biw=1517&bih=646

And this was her, lol. Claimed to be looking for "Occult Magick" friends when it was obvious I was in no way some occult magick person, and she was the one pursuing with convo with me, lol. And I was definitely feeling the affection vibes.

Oh yes, she definitely looked like she was into ALL OF THIS. lol

https://www.google.com/search?q=Occult+Magick&rlz=1C1GCEA_enUS808US808&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjv-cScssXdAhVCI6wKHSq4DZoQ_AUIDigB&biw=1517&bih=646

 

[Dauntless]

Some metrics suggest I'm an attention whore, lol.

Dan? Marty? You guys are metrics? I never would have guessed.

https://www.cnn.com/travel/article/egypt-sphinx-kom-ombo-africa/index.html

 

[swbluto]

https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1GCEA_enUS808US808&biw=1517&bih=646&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=YK2hW5uhLYuctgXm1I-YCg&q=crazy+woman+meme&oq=crazy+woman+meme&gs_l=img.3..0l2j0i5i30l2j0i8i30l6.7524.8643..8991...0.0..0.420.1034.0j3j1j0j1......1....1..gws-wiz-img.......0i67.F-lD4UBh4PM

YEP, THIS CAPTURES THE VIBE WITH THE OKCUPID GIRL, lol.

I just didn't realize it at the time. The only thing I noticed is that my dick was shrinking, I was having a transient stabbing heart pain following orgasm, and I felt like I was running in terror in the morning when doing my jog. So that night was apparently traumatic.

That little girl image above, I swear that's the face for... "Wtf, you're crazy", lol.

Yep, took about two days, about the day after she blocked me when I implied she's scary. All I knew was that she was scaring me, didn't know why, and then took a little while to figure out THIS IS WHY. lol She came off like a person with rational thoughts, so didn't immediately think this (She came off a lot more rational than most girls), but the way she had me running for the hills made me think about it again.

I think she's autistic, honestly. The fact she "appeared fairly rational" yet giving me that crazy vibe for no obvious reason... yeah, I think she's autistic and she triggered the uncanny valley in the NT side of me, lol.

And confirmed she's deleted off the site (or disabled, meaning can be reset in the future). Well, just wanted to let her know my insights into her person, and recommend her to take a certain test she's never heard before.

The kind of accusatory suspicions I was making initially about her... psychopath... though further concluding she didn't actually seem malicious and she definitely doesn't look malicious and appearing fairly rational... seems like something an NT would be making about an autie. So I wanted to possibly explain the reaction I had to her, and what many people prior have likely had of her.

I'm not trying to hurt her. This is just my "normal gut instinct impressions" of her, then followed up later in this post by a calm and rational autistic/NT analysis that seems like a promising explanation for the phenomenon.

I think I must've traumatized her, and I want to console her now fully understanding what's likely going on.

 

[Dauntless]

I think she's autistic. . .

The kind of accusations I was making initially about her... psychopath. . . .

It's not about YOU thinking SHE is malicious. . . .

Do you suppose she gone into the witness protection program after you contacted her? There's nothing crazy about fleeing fro the behavior you're exhibiting. You belong in the People's Republic of Santa Monica.

Maybe you should turn your attention to the economy.

https://money.cnn.com/2018/09/18/investing/economy-trade-war-china/index.html

 

[DAND214]

Some metrics suggest I'm an attention whore, lol.

Dan? Marty? You guys are metrics? I never would have guessed.

https://www.cnn.com/travel/article/egypt-sphinx-kom-ombo-africa/index.html

My tool box is full of them :lol: :lol:
First your scared of the illegals by you and now a chick?

I guess your never gonna finish the mansion. Too busy trying to loose your virginity. Still don't believe 3/4 of this post. It's all just a story/diary. No one would sit and write
about all this stuff and post it online. Being in the top ??% of your age group is also BS. If you had all that wealth you sure wouldn't be chasing ghosts. All those girls you still talk about, grow up and grow a pair. Whether it be above or below the waist.

Still no pics of anything that really exist. By now you should of remembered the HEB chicks name, if she was real. It's so sad to see you like this, no home, no chick, no money and no balls. All you do is talk, talk, talk.

Dan

 

[Dauntless]

[youtube]ad-Kp4Lu6UI[/youtube]

 

[swbluto]

Actually, it's not a myth. Just met a group of 31 year olds whom I was helping load their possessions into the POD container sitting outside in the driveway, and the girl was renting and "going broke" and the guy claimed he owned nothing. So, lemme tell ya, my having a house and land with another piece of land means I'm wealthier than THEM, my immediate peers. So, being in the 58% percentile has some real world substantiation here.

I think I was scared of her because SHE WAS CREEPY. This was a kind of terror that WAS NOT THE SAME KIND OF THING LIKE MY NEIGHBORS SHOOTING AT ME, OH NO!

That was relatively minor and transient.

This was something else. Terrifying and pretty persistent. Not something that could've been calmed with holding my shotgun, lol. It recrudesced every time I tried chatting with her which was once. I wasn't afraid of chatting, I had no problem initiating it REMEMBER, it was the fact she was fudging terrifying thruout the chat. Not like I was non-confident in responding to her, I had no problems responding, but got CREEPED OUT LIKE HELL regardless.

Granted, it seems so bizarre, I do think maybe there's kind of burgeoning medical/mental problem I have, like dementia or related paranoias, but there was no doubt. She was creepy as hell.

Horror movies don't even approach the kind of terror she imparted. Horror movies are for the most part, predictable and lame. She was... what horror movies should be like, in actually doing the job, lol.

https://www.google.com/search?q=creepy+as+hell&rlz=1C1GCEA_enUS808US808&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjCgbfZyMbdAhVGEawKHRpUAzoQsAR6BAgFEAE&biw=1240&bih=608

This image google search personifies her, yes, except imagine talking to it instead of looking at pictures across the internet.

Notice any similarities to the magick occult google image search, the "Friends" she was looking for?

https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1GCEA_enUS808US808&biw=1240&bih=608&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=2P2hW-yJM4rKsQXL5ougDA&q=occult+magick&oq=occult+magick&gs_l=img.3..35i39j0l4j0i30j0i8i30j0i24l3.88533.90317..90492...0.0..1.395.2836.2-6j4......1....1..gws-wiz-img.......0i67.ggDhzitRruY

Had me fleeing in terror and attacking it with all the insults I could muster in my diary entries! lol.

Flight fight response definitely activated.

Words like PSYCHOPATH. Oh yes, I called it that in my diary.

And yes, "IT" is the right thing to call IT.

 

[swbluto]

No sleep as of 3:46 a.m., sure hope this isn't a portent.

Ate 900 mg of dark chocolate (50% dark) at 7:30 p.m., so that might be contributing.

 

[swbluto]

And judging from the "NT" reaction above, this would explain the dynamic of all those aspergian and autistic mass killers.

Normal people getting their fight-flight responses activated, including fight responses like hurtling insults, humiliation and relational aggression in the context of school, and the amount of emotional abuse piles up over the years until one day, or one event, they can't take it anymore and having access to guns in a gun-loving country like USA, they exact revenge.

Noticing my response of calling her "IT", this was exactly what Seung Hui Cho alluded to in his name, naming himself "???". He had no name, he was "IT".

The normal response from the less aggressive types is to hide. And this is exactly what the okcupid girl did, she left the site and hiding in her safe place.

 

[swbluto]

Now that I've come up with a satisfactory conclusion as to why that person was scary, I'm discontinuing serious exploration into it. And, I might stop talking about it. It's also likely that being not close to friends myself might be contributing.

It almost seems like this neighborhood, at least with the house being unfinished and bobby in jail (The closest age peer at 43), is isolating. The old neighborhood wasn't isolating but also not a place I felt comfortable bringing home a girl, lol.

----------------

FUDGE IT. Yes, I think I'm kind of aware of how this girl feels, lol.

----------------

Okay, right now, here's what I would be investing in the stock market if suspecting a recession in the next year or two.

Invest in triple long VIX.

Sell when it peaks (It peaks when the stock market crashes).

At trough, plunge into triple long nasdaq.

That seems to be one way to comprehensively play a boom and bust cycle.

-----------------

I think she was a psychopath and she targeted me with malice.

No other obvious explanation for the desisted desire currently.

If she was just a creep, she would've been easy to push aside and keep on looking.

But, think she was actually malicious judging from her effects.

Don't come across too many "sexually malicious" girls in the real world. But sure enough can predictably find them online.

There's no mistaking the malice now that I'm keenly aware of how orgasm following the encounter notably reduced member bloodflow and triggered transient heart attack like symptoms. (Crescendoing stabbing sternum pain and strong transient artery pain affects)

She was sexually malicious. And deadly.

The bible talked about her kind, in proverbs. Can't say she fit the description very well, but that's likely due to nature of okcupid not being real life, but the effects seem oddly symmetric.

Proverbs 7:6

I wondered when I was going to encounter this girl. The psychopath. I'm learning more of her various forms.

"Many are the victims she has brought down;
her slain are a mighty throng.
Her house is a highway to the grave,
leading down to the chambers of death."

Seems like psychopaths have that affect, a few days of wondering "Wtf was going on?", and then soon enough figuring it out.

She was scary because she was threatening. Yes, I think that's exceptionally likely. Hard to describe what exactly was threatening about her, but something definitely was.

This is the kind of girl I'd be more concerned about being a murderer than the heb chick, LOL!

HEB chick had one kind of effect, this girl had EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE EFFECT. Sending you to your grave.

So, a hostile threatening autistic kid. Or hostile threatening psychopath. I think maybe that's her personality.

Hostile threatening autistic kid would be like... the florida kid... right before he shot up the school. Or a psychopath, hostile threatening is the core feature. So, yeah, I think that's her personality.

 

[swbluto]

Hmmm... I'm noticing...

Maybe I'm the vicious one? Emotionally vicious.

And if I were wondering why she appeared to be vicious, maybe I was her inspiration.

Now that's a new approach to understanding her effect.

If I didn't want her to be vicious, and it doesn't seem like I really wanted to, maybe I should learn to identify when I'm doing it and tone it down?

Maybe I should try to be nice.

Seems like I'm a master at vicious insinuation. Think maybe I should keep that in check, what that "millennial mom" called "Being on your best behavior".

Or maybe this is part and parcel of the queen bee's armamentarium, and I should keep living up to my place in society, lol.

https://www.quotev.com/quiz/620756/How-vicious-are-you

How vicious are you?
Annika
You're 100% vicious!


I would be petrified if i met you in a dark alley. You're so vicious you make the devil itself look like a little kitten!

Interesting that psychcentral's "narcissistic quiz" showed up when I googled viciousness quiz. Let's take it.

Your Total: 32
Between 12 and 15 is average.
Celebrities often score closer to 18.
Narcissists score over 20.
Because you scored 18 or higher, you may want to check out the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder.

lol.

Authority

Authority refers to a person's leadership skills and power. People who score higher on authority like to be in charge and gain power, often for power's sake alone. You scored particularly high in authority, suggesting you see yourself as a leader or as someone who values power.

Self-Sufficiency

This trait refers to how self-sufficient a person is, that is, how much you rely on others versus your own abilities to meet your needs in life.

Superiority

This trait refers to whether a person feels they are more superior than those around them. You scored particularly high in superiority, suggesting you feel you are superior to most others.

Exhibitionism

This trait refers to a person's need to be the center of attention, and willingness to ensure they are the center of attention (even at the expense of others' needs). You score particularly high in exhibitionism, suggesting you have a higher need than most to be the center of attention in any group or gathering.

Exploitativeness

This trait refers to how willing you are to exploit others in order to meet your own needs or goals. You scored particularly high in exploitativeness, suggesting you don't mind exploiting others in order to meet your own needs or goals.

Vanity

This trait refers to a person's vanity, or their belief in one's own superior abilities and attractiveness compared to others.

Entitlement

This trait refers to the expectation and amount of entitlement a person has in their lives, that is, unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with one's expectations. People who score higher on this trait generally have a greater expectation of entitlement, while those who score lower expect little from others or life. You scored particularly high on entitlement, suggesting that you may have a higher sense of entitlement than most people.

Do I believe these results? Maybe some of it.

https://psychcentral.com/disorders/narcissistic-personality-disorder/

Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

Do I really fantasize about true love, immense success and power? Maybe a little.

 

[Dauntless]

Just met a group of 31 year olds whom I was helping load their possessions into the POD container sitting outside in the driveway, and the girl was renting and "going broke" and the guy claimed he owned nothing. So, lemme tell ya, my having a house and land with another piece of land means I'm wealthier than THEM, my immediate peers. So, being in the 58% percentile has some real world substantiation here.

No it doesn't. Did 'Owned nothing mean he had no car? Most of the cars on the road are worth more than your van and both lots, don't forget. If your peers are impoverished, you could be better off than around half below the poverty line. But that's half of the bottom 20%.

 

[swbluto]

"Strong women scare weak men"

Hmmm. I don't think this was quite the same kind of scared. Because, the particular kind of scared was the FLEE AND ATTACK IT kind of scared. BURN IT WITH FLAMES!!!

The fact she was purportedly a witch is the puzzling bit. Makes you wonder if she was a "real one", because that's what they did back in the day right, burn the witch at the stake. The so-called witch hunts.

Makes me wonder if these aren't just normal girls playing pretend in their fantasy worlds, these are "real witches".

And the rational side of me thinks that "real witches" don't exist, so I think it must be something else, something recognized by science, like autism. And readily explained by autism-related phenomenon like uncanny valley.

Searched okCupid, did not find a single person who mentioned "occult" or "magick" in the Houston area.

They are a rare breed.

It's quite funny the first person that responded to my messaging on the site was the only "witch" on the site. And she proceeded to creep me the f out unlike ANYONE before.

 

[swbluto]

Lol, I find the attempts at my being poor laughable. Because, even though I have more in my bank account than 70% of americans, I already know that in about ... less than half a year, I'm going to have two finished homes. And, I don't want to hear about this "I'm so damn poor" business, lol.

Now, if you mean I live like a poor person... AHHHHH, you're exactly right! The fastest way to wealth with a certain amount of income.

I live poor so I can be rich.

Remember, the villa had a 5 year time table. This is about 1.5 years in and I practically guarantee I could construct it next year if I so chose.

Thinking large was critical to motivating a finding of ways to achieve it. And, it's happening, believe or not believe me. It's happening.

 

[Dauntless]

Makes you wonder if she was a "real one", because that's what they did back in the day right, burn the witch at the stake. The so-called witch hunts.

No they didn't. Witches were hung by the neck just like the old west. The one guy crushed under the rocks wasn't supposed to die, they were trying to get a confession out of him so they could take his property and hang him. The Salem witch trials were about the local politics, the idea of real witches had nothing to do with it.

The Catholic Church in the dark ages was actually quite tolerant of witches. The witches merely thought they could conjure up cures for things and influence mother nature. Your local priest would just tell you they were a bit looney but nothing to be afraid of. They were welcome in the church and often practicing Catholics. But not everyone listened. Then the various Protestant faiths took up their own attitudes about witches.

Oh, were you in California today? I saw this guy having his episode yelling about how he was waiting for his "Imaginary girlfriend" and she wasn't coming, oh the upset. I wanted to say 'Imagine if she had.' I also wanted to ask if he imagined she worked at H.E.B.

 

[swbluto]

So, witches tend to be crazy people and obviously had a habit of scaring some of the local protestant factions. And then proceeded to burn them at the stake.

Uh huh, I think that girl was a direct descendant. Like I suspected, she was crazy. But it was hard re-conciliating that notion with the fact she seemed to be entirely rational like a bit too rational for a girl. And hard to quantify this, but didn't seem to mirror emotions. So, that makes me think she was autistic. Which readily explains the uncanny valley "FLEE AND BURN IT ALIVE" effect she seemed to be having, which I of course didn't nor aspired to in any modern version. But, it seemed peculiar she was imparting that effect.

I think she recognized this common reaction, and has a personal history with it, and probably ran fearing for her safety. Or may have gave up hope.

She recognized it after I told her explicitly that she was scaring me. She didn't recognize it(that she was scaring me) prior and neither did I really, until the day where I clearly recognized it. Because, my thijnking at the time was "Maybe it's just anxiety, like crush anxiety or something". But, no, I don't think that's what it was, LOL!

And the dick shrinking effect she had I suspect was directly telling me, "Not worthy of reproduction". Which also fits with the autistic hypothesis.

If she were looking for an autistic male, you'd think she wouldn't have had problems finding one. But the guys on OkCupid tended to present as simpletons compared to quite a few females. At least their writing capabilities as presented suggested that.

-----------------

Anyway, that experience has left with some interesting implications. Assuming her autism/witchiness was due to "bad genes", and assuming it were genetic, it does make you think twice about the ideas of "genetic destiny". In particular, as it relates to relations with other people.

It's hard to imagine a girl like her ever POSSIBLY being president, because she'd scare everyone and everyone would want to persecute her violently, if not physically than at least emotionally and status wise.

So, does make me wonder how much things of that nature are destined. I would think, in her case, it tends to shut doors.

And, does make me wonder, the opposite of that... tends to open doors... that kind of person, would it be almost impossible for that person to be "low status" and "widely rejected" due almost completely to their genes?

Just makes me question how much influence our choices/decisions really have in certain spheres, mainly social spheres. Like possibly that of sex/relationships and access to resources as it commonly relates to work hierarchy.

Makes me wonder if I was sidelined in the navy because not of how culpable I actually was (Any normal person was like that's ridiculous), but because I had the "genetic personality" that was "to be persecuted". That's been my inference so far, that's why I tend to value my privacy. Expose vulnerabilities, tend to get attacked. Not so much that I think I will be "stolen from", but attacked is the essential spirit of it.

And maybe that's why I fantasized of hiding in the woods at first. Mainly safety.

In reality, that wouldn't have been safe. There would've needed to be an almost impassible fence line and probably some dogs to ensure an actual level of safety. And, that's largely what I had, in addition to a shotgun.

---------------------
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+7%3A6-27&version=NIV


I'm going over this passage a little more and read it aloud, and felt "The power behind it".

While reading aloud, I noticed things that I didn't before. Like, the context.

Walking towards her house at night.

Woah, much like I did on okcupid. I noticed 9-10 p.m. tends to be "peak hour" on there, so that's pretty common.

Then she comes out to greet him, seduces him and then when vulnerable, inserts the dirk and twists.

Seduction followed by viciousness.

That seems like the effect the okcupid girl had.

But, it's hard to say that was her intention. It wouldn't seem like that was her intention. But based purely on the effect, it seems like it. And "leading you to your grave", it seemed like it, felt like a heart attack was just about to happen, then didn't.

I can't understand how increasing stomach pressure could cause a crescendoing sternum stabbling pain.

I further more can't understand how the heart can cause it, but heart problems just seems to have weird symptoms sometimes, so that seemed a likely explanation.

But then I burped and assumed it was stomach gas. Read pages online suggesting it could've been, and the way it happened seemed intuitive other than the "stabbing inwards" sensation itself.

Maybe that stabbing inward sensation was actually the gas "pushing up" the esophagus, but the sphincter was closed, leading to that sensation. That almost seems intuitive, except that seemed more severe than I would normally expect for stomach gas.

 

[swbluto]

Thinking about it, sexually vicious. Think, seduction followed by inserting the dagger.

When it happens, sometimes, you just want to beat the shit out of the girl.

(I did the verbal equivalent to that, angrily scolded the heb chick, which then turned her on immensely)

But in america, you go to jail for that.

I wonder if that's what happened to that Houston kid who shot up the school. She seduced him and then humiliated him.

News reports suggest that he kept up with the unwanted advances and she kept turning him down, but I read a questionable source suggesting she led him on and maybe even seduced him? Gave him some warm feelies.

I just wonder about that girl, maybe that's what she was. Sexually vicious.

But, she was terrifying more than anything else. And unintentionally so.

So... yeah... I think maybe she was a scary crazy person who liked fashioning herself as a witch.

Wonder if she cast a spell on me? LOL. Kind of think maybe that did happen.

Tried casting a love spell, it backfired, and instead inflicted terror.

-------------------------------

Damnit, can't find my speaker wires!

I think maybe I needed to get new wires anyway. Or maybe I should source and scavenge...

Busy fixing things, need to get prepared for the impending tsunami.

--------------------------------

Think this electric weatherhead acts like a lightning rod. Saw a bright flash and then the UPS cut out for a second, telling me it hit something electric.

Luckily, it wasn't as fudging loud as that ONE TIME I swore it hit me, lol.

 

[DAND214]

Lol, I find the attempts at my being poor laughable. Because, even though I have more in my bank account than 70% of americans, I already know that in about ... less than half a year, I'm going to have two finished homes. And, I don't want to hear about this "I'm so damn poor" business, lol.

Now, if you mean I live like a poor person... AHHHHH, you're exactly right! The fastest way to wealth with a certain amount of income.

I live poor so I can be rich.

Remember, the villa had a 5 year time table. This is about 1.5 years in and I practically guarantee I could construct it next year if I so chose.

Thinking large was critical to motivating a finding of ways to achieve it. And, it's happening, believe or not believe me. It's happening.

If you have so much money in the bank, why don't you finish the roof on your villa?
Oh I forgot, you were thinking of changing the title of the post. All It has been ix about the chick that never existed. Witches scare you, what will you do on Halloween?
I still say, you don't exist as a real person in Texas that has 2 properties and has so much money in the bank that puts you in the upper % of WTF class. But you still have a broken van, two(?) shacks and properties but you never show them or yourself. Pictures you supposedly took are nothing but a blur. As I said before you are still a virgin, as your search has proven. GROW A PAIR.

Dan

 

[swbluto]

Gee dan, why don't you go talk to some "real witch" and tell me to grow a pair, lol.

You don't think they were burning them at the stake purely because of religious reasons, do you?

NO! THEY ARE SCARY AS F! It's not something that I felt like I was running away from initially, it was something that kind of crept beneath the surface and was overwhelming in a "need to get away from this" person kind of way. It wasn't until the next morning, when I noticed myself jogging and it felt like I was running for my life, then the next morning, I was jogging calmly, I realized she terrified me and I didn't really recognize it at the time.

But, I definitely recognized it the second time I talked to her and was getting the "LET'S GET THE FUDGE OUT!!!" feeling, not unlike being inside a really creepy forest, except a bit more intense being its some person.

And the following verbal abuses in my diary let me know I was "fighting" her. She definitely reliably triggered the flight-fight response, not unlike a real fudging scary witch. I'm not talking about some Disney hocus pocus make believe witch, I'm talking about A REAL WITCH that's trying to cozy up with you.

Until you've met one a "real one", you don't really have a proper opinion.

The west coast is filled with a bunch of fake ones. I'm not talking about those ones, I'm talking about real ones. REALLY CREEPY PEOPLE WHO BECOME WITCHES. Or just really mean really scary creepy people or something. She seemed to be a lot more on the "really creepy" side, being really mean just angers me and wasn't feeling anger, not right away.

-------------------

I kind of think maybe she had a strong personality and I feared her disapproval. But... I don't know... that "NEED TO GET THE FUDGE OUT" feeling... I don't think that fully explains it.

 

[DAND214]

Gee dan, why don't you go talk to some "real witch" and tell me to grow a pair, lol.

You don't think they were burning them at the stake purely because of religious reasons, do you?

NO! THEY ARE SCARY AS F! It's not something that I felt like I was running away from initially, it was something that kind of crept beneath the surface and was overwhelming in a "need to get away from this" person kind of way. It wasn't until the next morning, when I noticed myself jogging and it felt like I was running for my life, then the next morning, I was jogging calmly, I realized she terrified me and I didn't really recognize it at the time.

But, I definitely recognized it the second time I talked to her and was getting the "LET'S GET THE FUDGE OUT!!!" feeling, not unlike being inside a really creepy forest, except a bit more intense being its some person.

And the following verbal abuses in my diary let me know I was "fighting" her. She definitely reliably triggered the flight-fight response, not unlike a real fudging scary witch. I'm not talking about some Disney hocus pocus make believe witch, I'm talking about A REAL WITCH that's trying to cozy up with you.

Until you've met one a "real one", you don't really have a proper opinion.

The west coast is filled with a bunch of fake ones. I'm not talking about those ones, I'm talking about real ones. REALLY CREEPY PEOPLE WHO BECOME WITCHES. Or just really mean really scary creepy people or something. She seemed to be a lot more on the "really creepy" side, being really mean just angers me and wasn't feeling anger, not right away.

-------------------

I kind of think maybe she had a strong personality and I feared her disapproval. But... I don't know... that "NEED TO GET THE FUDGE OUT" feeling... I don't think that fully explains it.

Just because I have one next door isn't gonna make me move again. As before, this whole thread is nothing but talk, talk and more talk. You had people interested when you posted SOLAR. Didn't take long for most to move on. I'm still here and a few others, just to see what the next topic will be. Knowing there will be no real solar if any.

it will be interesting if you ever get FUGDED as you put it. Maybe then we will see a roof on the mansion since you will need a place for your soon born child. Hang in there Bluto, almost every man gets a girl. Even if it's only once.

I think you better take all that cash out of the bank before the crash or you won't have enough for bananas. Another reason to finish the hole in the roof, Gotta protect all that money :lol:

So what is the purpose living like a pauper if you have so much money? Do you have a will? With all the health concerns you keep saying you might have, It would make me spend my money to find if I really have any. My brother-in-law lived like you, lived in a small house(with a new roof) but was a scrooge. bought nothing and had money in the bank when he died. Garbage everywhere, only half the house had power, shower didn't work. Maybe that's why I continue to follow this. It was a shame he died but nice since my wife was on his bank account. Spend it while you can! With your health problems you could be gone tomorrow. Witch or no witch's.

Dan

 

[Dauntless]

.
I can't understand how increasing stomach pressure could cause a crescendoing sternum stabbling pain.

Funny, here i can't understand why you're experimenting with it.

All this talk of getting your fudge out. You planning some fudge packing? I think your shrinkage peivlem is just you being you. To be expected. If you insist on blaming witchcraft, I guess that's you being you too.

Halloween is coming, think maybe the witches are planning something to make you forget the illegals and the cartel? Think of all the movies that could be made from your delusions.