End of the World. Beginning of a new one. The Life of Amberwolf.

[dogman dan]

Awww man. I knew something really bad had happened, but somehow didn't see this thread till now.

This really sucks to hear. Anything you can put in a washing machine can be saved. So smoke damaged clothes for example can just be washed and eventually the smoke smell will go away. Regular soap won't do it though, so you might try soaking clothes in other strong soaps in a bucket before taking them to a washing machine. I'd try the fast orange hand cleaner first myself. Then perhaps oxy clean once you put em in a washer.

Hard stuff can be scrubbed, so all your dishes and such are ok. Other things are much much harder to get the smoke out of. Nothing you can do with a bed but toss it, and even pure wood furniture will be hard to really clean the smoke out of. One option for some furniture would be painting it. A wooden dresser or desk could be painted. You'd wash it, then you'd prime it with oil based primer first, then paint it. You'd have to paint every inch of it, inside, outside, backside, all the drawers on all sides. And even then, there'd be a hint of smoke smell.

Furniture such as a couch is a goner. Books will smell forever, if any are irreplaceable, keep them, but you might have to bag them to stand having them in the house.

Stuff you just have to keep that is smoked is going to be a big problem. It will be a long time, if not forever, that that smell will not send you into post traumatic shock. So in many ways, it will be best to chuck everything that cannot be completely cleaned. It's just really hard to get rid of that smoke smell completely. So even stuff that can be cleaned, you should replace them as soon as it's possible. I've done quite a few fire remodels. It's extremely hard to get it all out. I hope the landlords insurance will pay for enough to make the house smell go away.

 

[TylerDurden]

Hang in there, dude.

Stay in touch here, we will help however we can.

 

[Kingfish]

Please accept my deepest sympathies for the terrible loss of your family.

Try to get some rest, KF

 

[dogman dan]

I'm having a really hard time with this news. I want to just jump in the car, and drive 400 miles to you to help, and bring a dog you can hug.

Best though, to send money since I'm so physically useless now myself. At least, we need to buy AW a new computer as a starting point. Let us know how to send you some paypal bucks, or just what address to send cash to.

I'm assuming you had no renters insurance, and lost everything. Red cross will get you some pants and shirts and such, maybe even help with a card you can go buy a bed with.

God, this just sucks so bad I can't hardly stand it. I can only imagine how much 100 fold worse it is for you.

 

[Ykick]

Tragedy! So sorry AW, Red Cross is great idea though. Can we get a PayPal thing going as I would like to help with a liitle something? Hang in there buddy! Tough times but will get better....

 

[sbike]

Dear Amberwolf,

I am so sorry to learn of your loss.

You have a community here in the sphere and in your neighborhood that cares deeply for you.http://endless-sphere.com/forums/images/icons/misc/heart.gif

I lift you up in my prayers - for comfort, for courage, for strength, for restoration, for renewal and for hope for the future.
' Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.' Mat 5:4

 

[bigmoose]

Amber I too am speechless... my prayers are with you.

Get some rest, and try to not blame yourself. Things happen in this life. Woudda, coudda, shouldda... but we are human and not the Almighty... we cannot see all things... and stuff happens.

Stay with people and savor their fellowship. Reflect on how many friends you have and how they are reaching out to help you. Don't say no to any help, it will build ties and new experiences. Try to keep your job and stay engaged in life. I cannot begin to understand how hard this is for you... I know how you loved your dogs... they were your family.

I have an XP Home mini tower I can send. Keyboard and mouse. I'll need to make sure it boots OK. I am sure I have an IBM X30 laptop that I can send too, but I may have to rebuild the hard drive. Also I think one of my girls left a digital camera upstairs in their bedrrom. If it works and I can find the charger, I'll send it too. Time to pitch in.

Get us an address where we can send things and as others said a paypal address for some financial help.

Fill us in on Bill too, is that where you are staying?

 

[amberwolf]

I'm having a really hard time with this news. I want to just jump in the car, and drive 400 miles to you to help, and bring a dog you can hug.

I wish you *could* bring a big fuzzball to hug; I wanted to hold one then and still do now. I finally fell asleep holding the little chrsimtas ppuppy that Hachi sometmes carried around. it happend to be outside in the gbackyard when it all went up.

i guess i slept a copule hours maybe three; I mustive slid out of the chair I woke upo n the floor curled up on the pile of blankets I had around my legs to push on them kinda like the way the dogs would have; it made me feel a little better wit them like that. But I swihs I hadn't slept because i had nightmares a bout the fire and how they all died in it. I saw it all happen over and over and over but couldn't reach them.

It hurts so much i can't even find owrds for it.




i pm'd my paypal to dogman and bigmoose and ypedal as mods cuz it's also my regular main email and I don't want to tsick it in the spambot's range, so ask them for it if anyone wants to sned somethiung.

I think I want to use it to pay for fees to rescue another dog ro few but I can't do that until the house is rebuilt becauase Bill is allergic to the dogs so I can't have any while I'm here. I might have to move out of here somewhere else just so i can do that but i don't know where yet cuz most of my firends I could stay with here can't have dogs either and I can't pay rent and utilities on two places at once.


also i don'tknow how that works...whne i am not living there because it's beint rebuilt do i still pay rent? I gues i can call the gas and electric and phone and internet and tell them to turn them all off and cancel them all until i move back in. that would save a lot of money just in fees. I can't turn off the water cuz I will still have to go back and keep the trees and lantana and stuff watered or they';ll die in the heating-up weather.

I guess it will b e full on roasting summer befofre i can move back in, at the earliest, from what the landlord said.

 

[snellemin]

Sorry to hear about your loss man.

 

[amberwolf]

Everybody that has someone or something they love should go hug them now.

You never know when you might never see them again.

 

[wineboyrider]

Almost sounds like some kind of twisted joke as I know how much those dogs meant to you
Sorry for your loss.....

 

[Brentis]

Everybody that has someone or something they love should go hug them now.

You never know when you might never see them again.

I am so sorry for your loss,
Don't know what to say. Cried this whole thread through.
I can only imagine how hard it is for you
I read your quote and I'm blubbering like a baby.
Know that your are loved by many, wish I could give you a hug.
Hang in there. Pain will pass.
Opportunity is ahead of you, as hard as it is to believe.

Love you man.

Amber I too am speechless... my prayers are with you.

Get some rest, and try to not blame yourself. Things happen in this life. Woudda, coudda, shouldda... but we are human and not the Almighty... we cannot see all things... and stuff happens.

Stay with people and savor their fellowship. Reflect on how many friends you have and how they are reaching out to help you. Don't say no to any help, it will build ties and new experiences. Try to keep your job and stay engaged in life. I cannot begin to understand how hard this is for you... I know how you loved your dogs... they were your family.

I have an XP Home mini tower I can send. Keyboard and mouse. I'll need to make sure it boots OK. I am sure I have an IBM X30 laptop that I can send too, but I may have to rebuild the hard drive. Also I think one of my girls left a digital camera upstairs in their bedrrom. If it works and I can find the charger, I'll send it too. Time to pitch in.

Get us an address where we can send things and as others said a paypal address for some financial help.

Fill us in on Bill too, is that where you are staying?

+1

 

[DAND214]

Aw, i don't kno what to say. I feel so sorry for your loss.
I know what it's like to loo\se a close friend.like you had.
Lost my dog Thanksgiving weekend. It was bad. i said no more dogs. A week later i had a new one.
i'm almost crying while typing this since I know what it's like.

From all of us at ES we feel for your loss.

Things will get better.

Dan

 

[grindz145]

My heart absolutely wrenches for you AW.

 

[neptronix]

I am seriously misty eyed for you, dude.
Hang in there. you are in all our thoughts!

If you need a computer and bigmoose's offer doesn't go through, let me know. I've got a pentium 3 system lying around that'd be OK for browsin' and such.

 

[Rassy]

AW, as everyone already expressed, we're sorry, shocked, and thinking about you. Take care.

 

[major]

Sorry for your loss

 

[amberwolf]

Really sorry for your loss Amberwolf. I dont know what to say. Great pets are true members of the family. I can't imagine how you are feeling. Stay strong.

I am trying. it is very hard. I am just still in disbelief. I want to wak e u p to find Nana standing on me droolng on my face cuz she wants breakfast, and Hachi plopping down on me almost breaking my ribs to wake meup to go out for potty.

Thats really really sad news I dont know what to say but I really feel for you, hang in there. I am sure there will be a lot of support from E S members

Ithink I am going to need all het support i can get to keep me anchored. I feel like i'm floating out in the ocean and cant see te he shore. But I can hear people calling to me, even if I am having a really hard time saying even a single word wtithout crying again and again.

Its hard to know what to write here other than to try to keep spirits up and try to forget your losses and remember what you still have,its sad losing one dog but all yours must be hard, time heals all

I think this one is giong to take a lot of time. I am always surprised by how much i miss each one I lose but I have never ever lost all of them at once it's juts one at a time. And these four, especially Nana and Hachi, were so much my friends and family so close that I actually hurt more than when I lost my mom. Even more than when I lost Lady, who had been the closest thing to a kid I'd ever had.

Sorry to hear that..
Will you accept donations?

I don't want to but I will have to, to replace things...everytime I think I have run out of things to list in my head that are destroyed, I think of another. I should type up a list so I can start hunting for replacements. PM dogman bigmoose or ypedal for info.

I am really sorry for your loss Amberwolf. I'm just glad you weren't in the house sleeping when it happened.

Take it one day at a time. Eventually this too shall pass.

I wish I had been there, sleeping or not. The smoke alarm would have woken me up and I could have saved the dogs.

Oh man, that's bad, really bad

Yes it is and it is still getting worse in my head. I guess it will get better eventually.

Sorry to hear about your family, AW. Words don't come easy at a time like this. I really know how losing a family member, unexpectedly, is. It takes time, so, pull yourself together as best you can and go 1 day at a time.

Feel sure that you have another family willing to do whatever it takes, right here on the ES.

Condolences, Harold in CR

Thank you. I am trying to do what I alwasy do which is to fix things. It keeps my mnd from going over and over and over it all as much. pulling apart the blob of cmputer case to get my hardisks out was last night and today i will be calling Red CRosss and HR at my workplace to see what help they give. and my utility providers to turn stuff off.

Then try to reach more of my local friends that I only had numbers for on the computer and not on paper with me. Idid have them on ppaer in my notebook butthat was in my riding jacket which is I guess ash in the bedroom because it was too hot to wear to lunch.

omfg.....

for the first time in my life, i got out of bed at 6am this morning, i woke up at 5am and was unable to sleep, figured i would move to the couch and turn on the tv , something i NEVER do, not once, ever... but today i do and find this thread....

i had to stop reading half way thru your first post, litterally in tears, i'm so sorry for your loss...... i have one dog i love more than anything , or anyone . else... sandy means the world to me.. and she's getting old... i'm trying to prepare myself for that inevitable day and i sometimes wish i go before her so i dont have to deal with that horrible feeling....... oh god.. even typing that got me pouring tears again.. fawk...

as you found each of you dogs, you can and will eventually get more, they will never replace, but will love you just as much ... all in time.. be strong.. take one day at a time.. try to find something to keep your mind off things .. if that's even possible right now. but again.. in time my friend.. :|

post up a paypal email we can use. please.

I pmd you and dogman and bigmoose the paypal email and am also sneding you all the address I'm att right now; I had to wait till Bill was up to be sure that was ok first.

I will always have more dogs. I always say never again and then in a week or less I have a new one or more. I don't think it's poosssible for me e to live without having some around. I"m sorry this has hurt you too, and anyone else that has been hurt by it. But I had to tell you all like this becuase they were so much ofmy life that it could not be left unsaid or said in passing.

i Guess you could say that half my life is dogs and half of it building things. There might be another half or two in there for other stuff like work and eating and whatnot but those are really just thing s that take time away from the first two,.

So sorry to hear about your loss. I'm glad you are ok. Hang in there, things will get better.

I know. Thanks. It is going to take a long time.

I am very and deeply sorry for the loss of your dogs and your house. There are not enough words to describe such a terrible thing.

If there is anything I can do, just post it or pm me. We can not replace your dogs. But there may be other stuff we can help you with.

I may have to take you up on that. Thank you.

brutal. horrible. shocking. so damn sad. i'm so so sorry for you.

when it comes to dealing with insurance, i'd recommend hiring servpro, if the insurance agency hasn't already, to handle clean up. they itemize all your possesions that were damaged, including smoke damaged, and it adds up to more than you think. pm or email me for details when you're ready.

I don't have any insurance; there's never been money for that. The landlord does and has the adjuster out today but he doesn't want me there while they are. I will call him and suggest that place though i doubt he would wish to pay for suhc a thing since all he is responsible for is the house, which he will be rebuilding.

My heart is with you AW, what a terrible loss. Please don't beat yourself up for not being there at the time of the fire.

I can't help it; I KNOW that itwould all be ok if I had been. And it was such a silly thing too. Lunch had been set up for Saturday but then work had to have me come in that day. We rescheduled for Monday but then work needed me to come in on Monday. So we reset up for Tuesday.

If I had not worked Monday or Saturday and had lunch then I would have been home and thyey'd all be alive.

So many little things could've been done different by me and they would still be here.

Jesus man, so sorry about your loss, I couldn't believe when I read this thread.

My thoughts are with you.

thanks.

I am so very sorry to hear of your tragic loss. It is impossible to imagine your heartbreak - it is quite obvious from all the beautiful photographs of your dogs, just how loved they were. My hope is that you can find some peace in the coming days, weeks and months, knowing what a special bond you were privileged to share with them.

With deep and sincere sympathy
John's wife, Sonia

Thank you. I know they're always only here a litle while and that they will always die before me, but it is so hard to lose them this way. Usually they die in their sleep of old age, or get so sick they can't go on, for one reason or antoher. But I have never lost all at once and never to fire. I am always so careful to prevent such things butI guess I screwed up this tiem and it cost them their lives.

Very sorry to hear of your losses Amberwolf.
Truly a sad day.
It will take a while but it will pass and there will be some good times ahead.

Iknow. I am trying to get that far.

Bless you, man. Better days ahead.
harox

thanks.

 

[liveforphysics]

Wow.

I know how much you love your dogs, and how much you sacrifice to care for them so well my friend.

Dogs live in the experience rather than in human construct illusions. I believe your dogs all felt nothing but love for you, and they know you absolutely took the best care of them and loved them more than perhaps any other care taker they ever could have had. They don't mind that at some point the room got smokey and then they drifted into unconsciousness, and they would never hold it against you my friend.

You are an amazing human with an amazing capacity to love and care for animals.

Think we can scratch up some help for you my friend.

 

[rojitor]

It's tragic, i am really sorry for your loss, pets are members of my family as well. Remember ALL dogs go to heaven. They will be ok my friend.

 

[slacker]

sorry for your loss,i put down my dog of 14 years last summer and still think of her daily.hang in there and have faith.treasure those pictures and memory's.

 

[dogman dan]

Dig Deep guys. Amberwolf is really a pillar of the forum, incredibly hard to log on and find a dirty forum. And he has a heart of gold.

He's going to need extra money for everything, new computer, new dogs, food for the friends that come help him clean up the mess. He's going to need to rent a temporary place to stay too, like a by the week motel or something. It could be for quite some time, fire cleanup remodels take months.

Dig in, and send money. I just sent $150, and I'm not even employed anymore.

Soon as you can, hit a dog adoption event at the petco, and hug some fur.

 

[Lessss]

electricle@gmail.com is your email for paypal?

 

[spinningmagnets]

It may be a while until you are settled into another place to live. It might help to try and find something close to work until all of your options are revealed. If it was me, I might volunteer at a shelter to give the unadopted dogs some attention and exercise, they always need help at animal shelters. That might give you some solace, so both you and the shelter dogs can help each other...

 

[jpgey]

electricle@gmail.com is your email for paypal?

Hello Amberwolf, please confirm this email, i'm in to help you.
Can't describe my sorrow for you ...