Well....this is awkward.
But I've had many nicknames over the years. My first, from my dad, was Big Stuff. I don't know why, but he called me that my entire childhood. I was never big. In fact, I was the skinniest kid in school by far. Very small for my age. I didn't really begin to grow until puberty, and that was in ninth and tenth grade. Eventually I hit average. I'm 6 foot and about 190.
Growing up, some kids started to tease me by calling me Michael, Michael Motorcycle. It hurt my feelings because I knew I was being teased, but one day it occured to me (in second grade), that it wasn't a bad nickname at all. That stuck through elementary school, and I didn't mind it.
Middle School was interesting. We had PE in the morning in seventh grade, and most of the boys were a lot bigger than me, and it would have been hard for me to find a kid my age that I could beat up. So I had to be funny to get along with the bigger guys. I was Babe Ruth with the jokes. Now that might seem pretty cool, and it was, but consider this: Babe Ruth still holds the record for career strikeouts. For each of his home runs there are many strikeouts, and I was no different.
So, during PE I'd have to sling a few jokes. When I struck out, most of the older and bigger guys would punch me in the shoulder and say, "Shut up, Fagbanks." I loved that nickname. I thought it was hillarious, and they actually appreciated that I thought it was funny. Some guys called me Fairybanks, and that was pretty funny too.
One kid about my size who wasn't funny (which got him beat up a lot more than me) called me "Fairfag."
I would get offended, and when he laid it on thick I'd say, "I'm not offended by your nickname for me. I'm offended that it's not funny. Fagbanks is funny. Fairybanks is funny. Fairfag just isn't funny. It doesn't even make sense."
Fast forward a few years and I was an amateur surfer trying to get better through competition. I wasn't A-level, but I got pretty good. So one day a magazine photoggrapher met up with the local surfshop owner to arrange a photo session or two and some advertising. A bunch of us paddled out to catch waves and get pics. The guy kept getting my name wrong, and like a coach would call everyone by last names. He called me Fairmont. No matter how many times I corrected him, he'd forget and call me Fairmont. I was about 15. My friends loved it, and they called me that. They still do 30 years later. It also helped that I bought, long ago, a Ford Fairmont. It looked like crap but actually ran great. I got it for $450 after seeing it on the side of the road covered in dirt with a for sale sign. It had a busted tail light, and my girlfriend said, "that's junk. Forget it." But I had a feeling about it, so I popped the hood (yep, outside latch only) and the engine was clean....I mean CLEAN. The odometer read about 80k so I knew it was a great buy. I drove that Fairmont for over two years, and when I went away to college I sold it for 750 bucks.
So, Fairmont is my nickname. I rarely use it as a nickname anymore online because of some altercations here and there. We'll talk about that another day.