ok so i've got 12s3p a123 (series-parallel) with 2 6s taps on each pack. if i connect the taps across the parallel packs (during discharge) will this help with balancing? can i also charge this way (using megapower infinity 960 12s)?
Yes - Each set of three parallel cells will balance each other during discharge. They will also provide a nice lower impedance, and thus lower sag, pack.
Charging them in parallel is also a good idea since it will reduce the charging current/cell and extend the life of the pack.