the problem with the first one may have been a bad connection in the sense wire plug if none of the leds came on. he ships them unplugged now. might never had seated properly in that middle coupling.
yep, need bigger soldering iron and real tin lead solder. but you can practice soldering wires together first to get feel for how the solder flows, so you know when hot is really hot enuff, because with learning to solder, the trick is to learn how to get it hot enuff, fast enuff, and get the iron off the joint fast enuff without pulling the wires apart again. the pcb traces will burn up and pull off if it gets so hot the pcb melts underneath it.
the solder has to flow onto the pad, but not for long, but don't stop and leave a round ball of solder perched on top of the pad. that you can practice first.