The Ebiker Joke thread...
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LockH
1 PW
Local news:
"An Ontario Provincial Police statement said that 36-year-old Lee Anne McRobb of Muskoka Lakes Township is facing charges of impaired driving and driving with more than 80 milligrams of alcohol per 100 millilitres of blood after Bracebridge officers stopped her in a black Cadillac Escalade."
(Driver insists mention in medias to a "large sized SUV driver" refer to the vehicle and not the driver. To prove the point, she again managed to squeeze behind the steering wheel. Police acknowledged she was able to reach at least one of the coffee cup holders.)
"An Ontario Provincial Police statement said that 36-year-old Lee Anne McRobb of Muskoka Lakes Township is facing charges of impaired driving and driving with more than 80 milligrams of alcohol per 100 millilitres of blood after Bracebridge officers stopped her in a black Cadillac Escalade."
(Driver insists mention in medias to a "large sized SUV driver" refer to the vehicle and not the driver. To prove the point, she again managed to squeeze behind the steering wheel. Police acknowledged she was able to reach at least one of the coffee cup holders.)
LockH
1 PW
More local news: "Home in Scarborough enclave holds affordability edge"
(What They Got: With the exception of an updated roof, furnace and eat-in kitchen with ceramic flooring, the interior state of this 55-year-old brick bungalow is original, with hardwood floors tucked beneath broadloom in three bedrooms, living and dining rooms, and only a one-two hour drive to work in the morning. On a "good" day. Also, sky-lit carport will fit modern large car - with some modifications.)
EDIT: If they can get through the garage door (the "car" I mean). Without TOO many scratches (kids, etc not covered by insurance).
(What They Got: With the exception of an updated roof, furnace and eat-in kitchen with ceramic flooring, the interior state of this 55-year-old brick bungalow is original, with hardwood floors tucked beneath broadloom in three bedrooms, living and dining rooms, and only a one-two hour drive to work in the morning. On a "good" day. Also, sky-lit carport will fit modern large car - with some modifications.)
EDIT: If they can get through the garage door (the "car" I mean). Without TOO many scratches (kids, etc not covered by insurance).
LockH
1 PW
http://www.canadiantire.ca/en/search-results.html?searchByTerm=true&q=electric+bicycle&=
"Search Unsuccessful"
We were unable to find a match for "electric bicycle".
It's a good thing Canadians are so clueless eh? (Buncha hosers eh?)
(Sorry about the two "ehs". It's a Canadian thingee, eh?)
(Dang. Said it again. Sorry!)
"Search Unsuccessful"
We were unable to find a match for "electric bicycle".
It's a good thing Canadians are so clueless eh? (Buncha hosers eh?)
(Sorry about the two "ehs". It's a Canadian thingee, eh?)
(Dang. Said it again. Sorry!)
LockH
1 PW
Currently doing the rounds online "E-somebuddys Vision: 5 Innovative Ideas That Will Change the World".
Includes "Electric Bicycle".
(Sorry, if old sailors brain may be a bit..."foggy" about some aspect of above. For other perspective
http://news.yahoo.com/elon-musks-vision-5-innovative-ideas-could-change-133929812.html
Includes "Electric Bicycle".
(Sorry, if old sailors brain may be a bit..."foggy" about some aspect of above. For other perspective
http://news.yahoo.com/elon-musks-vision-5-innovative-ideas-could-change-133929812.html
LockH
1 PW
This news just in. (GEBA exclusive.) Some Urban Stinkmobile Operators may still believe they "have an edge" versus bettery-electric thing-a-me operations.
(GEBA promotes better living through chemistry. - And physics. Oh, and the money savings are just one "thrill". - (sp? meant to use the word frill.))
EDIT: Oh yeah. And PS. Above (somewhere) should have said "battery".
Sorry.
(GEBA promotes better living through chemistry. - And physics. Oh, and the money savings are just one "thrill". - (sp? meant to use the word frill.))
EDIT: Oh yeah. And PS. Above (somewhere) should have said "battery".
Sorry.
LockH
1 PW
Seen in news... elsewhere.
"900-Lb. Ancient EBikers Tore Through Turtles, Battled Monster Snakes"
Maybe near 16 feet (4.8 meters) long and tipped the scales at estimated 900 lbs. (408 kilograms). With a blunt snout and powerful bite, it ate turtles and battled monster snakes. Now this early example of electric travel, still with two skulls also found with ebikeosaur, a type of crocodilian, which roamed an ancient rainforest a few million years after the dinosaurs died, has a scientific name.
It's called NorthAmericus Rocks. (No relation to that fiery thingee "Balrog" that lurked deep in the Middle-Earth mines of Toronto in J.R.R. Tolkien's little known novel "The Lords of the Ebike."
"900-Lb. Ancient EBikers Tore Through Turtles, Battled Monster Snakes"
Maybe near 16 feet (4.8 meters) long and tipped the scales at estimated 900 lbs. (408 kilograms). With a blunt snout and powerful bite, it ate turtles and battled monster snakes. Now this early example of electric travel, still with two skulls also found with ebikeosaur, a type of crocodilian, which roamed an ancient rainforest a few million years after the dinosaurs died, has a scientific name.
It's called NorthAmericus Rocks. (No relation to that fiery thingee "Balrog" that lurked deep in the Middle-Earth mines of Toronto in J.R.R. Tolkien's little known novel "The Lords of the Ebike."
LockH
1 PW
DEAR ARNE: I just found out my husband was arrested for being seen in a compromising position with his ebike. My in-laws (whom I love and adore) bailed him out of jail. No one said a word about it to me. I don't know how to confront all of them with the fact that I know about this "dirty little secret." What should I do? -- BETRAYED GRRRL
LockH
1 PW
Next Weeks noob Ebiker Rebel wannabe test.
Next weeks sneaky test is to guess correctly (figure out) how many (of a last minute T.B.A. age group) accidents involved ebike operators at the time of "incident".
Somewhere in these tables:
http://www.tc.gc.ca/eng/motorvehiclesafety/tp-tp3322-2009-1173.htm#t2
Next weeks sneaky test is to guess correctly (figure out) how many (of a last minute T.B.A. age group) accidents involved ebike operators at the time of "incident".
Somewhere in these tables:
http://www.tc.gc.ca/eng/motorvehiclesafety/tp-tp3322-2009-1173.htm#t2
LockH
1 PW
LockH
1 PW
Just announced on the news, comic strip "Calvin & Hobbes" illustrator to draw once again!
(In this series, "Ebike Man" appears w/out his trusty steed, instead seated on a stool, due to budgeting constraints (shoot the Accountants!).)
(In this series, "Ebike Man" appears w/out his trusty steed, instead seated on a stool, due to budgeting constraints (shoot the Accountants!).)
LockH
1 PW
Seen here:
http://www.competeprosper.ca/uploads/WP20_BetterHealthCare_FINAL.pdf
(April, 2014 "Policy opportunities for Ontario")
In part:
"THE PREVALENCE OF CHRONIC DISEASE is increasing, and fast. More than half (63 percent) of Ontarians are affected by a chronic condition, such as diabetes, high blood pressure, or a mental health condition.
The prevalence of chronic conditions is significantly higher in Ontario and Canada compared to other high-income countries. Less than half of the population in the United Kingdom, the Netherlands, and Australia report at least one chronic condition, compared to Canada and Ontario, where an average of 57 percent and 63 percent of the population, respectively, report at least one chronic condition.a Therefore, chronic disease prevention and management are high priorities for the Ontario government.
Ontario’s Action Plan for Health Care 2012 and a number of disease specific strategies set out a range of initiatives to prevent chronic disease, including reducing childhood obesity, improving physical activity and healthy eating, improving mental health, building government-wide capacity to deal with chronic disease, and just go out and buy a damn electric bicycle or conversion parts."
(ED: Wording may not be exactly word-for-word.)
http://www.competeprosper.ca/uploads/WP20_BetterHealthCare_FINAL.pdf
(April, 2014 "Policy opportunities for Ontario")
In part:
"THE PREVALENCE OF CHRONIC DISEASE is increasing, and fast. More than half (63 percent) of Ontarians are affected by a chronic condition, such as diabetes, high blood pressure, or a mental health condition.
The prevalence of chronic conditions is significantly higher in Ontario and Canada compared to other high-income countries. Less than half of the population in the United Kingdom, the Netherlands, and Australia report at least one chronic condition, compared to Canada and Ontario, where an average of 57 percent and 63 percent of the population, respectively, report at least one chronic condition.a Therefore, chronic disease prevention and management are high priorities for the Ontario government.
Ontario’s Action Plan for Health Care 2012 and a number of disease specific strategies set out a range of initiatives to prevent chronic disease, including reducing childhood obesity, improving physical activity and healthy eating, improving mental health, building government-wide capacity to deal with chronic disease, and just go out and buy a damn electric bicycle or conversion parts."
(ED: Wording may not be exactly word-for-word.)
LockH
1 PW
"A National Post original, Andrew Coyne's journalism career has also included positions with Maclean's, the Globe and Mail and the Southam newspaper chain. In addition, he has contributed to a wide range of other publications including The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, National Review, Time and Saturday Night. Coyne is also a long-time member of the CBC’s popular At Issue panel on The National."
Some crazy mad ebiking dud (dude?) writes in reply to one of his recent "articles":
Some crazy mad ebiking dud (dude?) writes in reply to one of his recent "articles":
LockH
1 PW
Perhaps a quote might explain why some joke around?
(EDIT: Contagious? Possibly written prior to ebike invention.)
(EDIT: Contagious? Possibly written prior to ebike invention.)
LockH
1 PW
Impresses when some realize my etrike has 50% more cup holders (than the 2 in a Cadillac Escalade).
... and that's not counting the ashtrays, ice bucket, etc. in the wagon (or larger rickshaw for tourists/fellow travellers).
... and that's not counting the ashtrays, ice bucket, etc. in the wagon (or larger rickshaw for tourists/fellow travellers).
LockH
1 PW
In news elsewhere, "4,000-Year-Old Burial with Electric Chariots Discovered in South Caucasus". (Not mentioned, batteries and motors were removed and re-used... elsewhere,)
LockH
1 PW
Argentina’s “Methane Backpacks” Turn Ebiker Farts into Green Energy
(Pic shown strapped to back of cow for some reason.)
(Pic shown strapped to back of cow for some reason.)
LockH
1 PW
1 in 10 US Beaches Not Fit for Swimming
http://www.livescience.com/46544-us-beaches-fail-water-quality-marks.html
(The Great Lakes region have the highest percentages of ebikers, according to automotive manufacturers and sellers.)
http://www.livescience.com/46544-us-beaches-fail-water-quality-marks.html
(The Great Lakes region have the highest percentages of ebikers, according to automotive manufacturers and sellers.)
LockH
1 PW
Jessica Simpson Sizzles In Plunging Dress For Sexy New Ebiker Ad
Jessica Simpson is feeling light as a feather.
The gorgeous 33-year-old, who has been showing off her body after slimming down following the birth of her second child, has debuted the sexy new ad riding her newest ebike - complete with a feather motif. (Her dress, not her electric bicycle.)
Jessica Simpson is feeling light as a feather.
The gorgeous 33-year-old, who has been showing off her body after slimming down following the birth of her second child, has debuted the sexy new ad riding her newest ebike - complete with a feather motif. (Her dress, not her electric bicycle.)
LockH
1 PW
Five people pee'ed as heck after RCMP ebiker gang collide with in Ottawa. (No reports of any serious injury. RCMP sorry `bout that.)
Said spokesperson: "Hey, we're riders too?"
Said spokesperson: "Hey, we're riders too?"
LockH
1 PW
"I had enough of feeling guilty"
"Quitting is easy and takes almost ZERO will power."
"I had enough of feeling guilty. I was ashamed of being a car smoker.
"When I was ready to quit, I checked eg Alt.Ovoid Planet ES, and with their support and one neighbouring ebike dealer, I made it through the first day absolutely no problem. I didn't crave that "Old Betsy" car one bit!
"As the daze went by, I was more and more proud of myself and my will to have fun (and save TONS of $$$) got stronger.
"Once you try an ebike, that stinky old technology seems silly and dangerous (and waaay too expensive also).
-Susan
Another in the continuing series "If Cars Came With Warning Labels"
"Quitting is easy and takes almost ZERO will power."
"I had enough of feeling guilty. I was ashamed of being a car smoker.
"When I was ready to quit, I checked eg Alt.Ovoid Planet ES, and with their support and one neighbouring ebike dealer, I made it through the first day absolutely no problem. I didn't crave that "Old Betsy" car one bit!
"As the daze went by, I was more and more proud of myself and my will to have fun (and save TONS of $$$) got stronger.
"Once you try an ebike, that stinky old technology seems silly and dangerous (and waaay too expensive also).
-Susan
Another in the continuing series "If Cars Came With Warning Labels"
LockH
1 PW
Hehe...
Thinking of having an ebikers baby?
Quitting car smoking before pregnancy will increase your chances of having a healthy baby.
You'll lower your risks of:
* Miscarriage
* Having baby with serious health problems.
* Etc.
(Above due to traffic accidents or lack of exercise, etc.)
Although quitting is most beneficial before "doing the nasty", there are many benefits to quitting gasoline burning at any time before/during your/her pregnancy.
(ANOTHER re "if new cars came with warning labels".)
Thinking of having an ebikers baby?
Quitting car smoking before pregnancy will increase your chances of having a healthy baby.
You'll lower your risks of:
* Miscarriage
* Having baby with serious health problems.
* Etc.
(Above due to traffic accidents or lack of exercise, etc.)
Although quitting is most beneficial before "doing the nasty", there are many benefits to quitting gasoline burning at any time before/during your/her pregnancy.
(ANOTHER re "if new cars came with warning labels".)
LockH
1 PW
Quitting... Watt's in it for me?
Why should I quit the smoking car?
I want to regain my freedom by getting rid of my addiction (to their gas/diseasal pumps).
I want to be my best (get around town and laugh at those poor suckers still trapped in lineups. And etc.).
I want others to be healthier and watt ebiker doesn't want MORE ENERGY.
I will reward myself with the money saved.
(Another in the etc.)
Dang. My pipe has gone out AGAIN.
(Oh. Sorry if you though it's for the tobacco leaf. Sorry!)
Why should I quit the smoking car?
I want to regain my freedom by getting rid of my addiction (to their gas/diseasal pumps).
I want to be my best (get around town and laugh at those poor suckers still trapped in lineups. And etc.).
I want others to be healthier and watt ebiker doesn't want MORE ENERGY.
I will reward myself with the money saved.
(Another in the etc.)
Dang. My pipe has gone out AGAIN.
(Oh. Sorry if you though it's for the tobacco leaf. Sorry!)
LockH
1 PW
LockH said:
