The strongest riders in the endurance world have not ridden RAAM on a recumbent. They aren't going to try anything out of the ordinary, since they are doing just fine on standard equipment. Why would they take a risk...why bother? But several very good athletes have won their age group on recumbents.
I know you said you tried riding a BikeE. Have you tried any of the half dozen highracer brands?
"I need something that can turn around inside a lane width, slow to below walking speed while remaining stable, and ride no-handed when necessary."
You have just described a highracer. My wife and I used to climb 15-20% grades on our highracer tandem at 4-5 mph. I have never been able to trackstand any bike, but I watched a kid in a bike shop trackstand a recumbent his first time on the bike. I have ridden one on rollers without any drama. I have ridden a highracer around in circles countless times in the width of a lane. I always do it with my inside foot unclipped, because I have absolutely no desire to break a hip, but I am certain that someone young enough and foolish enough could do it clipped in.
I have ridden my converted tandem highracer, in cruise control mode, for miles, no-hands. One of my favorite things to do, when I see somebody on a motorcycle, is to do a Nixon-style, two handed, over the head, victory sign. It always gets a response.
I am sure your assertions about recumbents convince shoppers in a bike shop, but I have years of actual riding experience, and you are just spouting crap.