Buying forest land, implementing solar

[Dauntless]

Okay, dominance was probably the underlying motif.

Okay, now you're scaring her.

And, yes, I purposely held and did not flinch. I did not care, this girl needed to know where she /f'ing/ stood, challenging my choice in towns and implied status.[It is kind of funny though, if she thought magnolia was bad, I'd have to lol when she saw this neighborhood, lol.]

Okay, are we going to be missing these posts for awhile after the police come pick you up? I'm tellin' ya', the people who write that crap are selling fantasy, people like you endulge yourself on what you want to believe anyway and HOPE that someone else writing it somehow proves something. No, those of us who have HAD girlfriends and been able to TALK to women about their boyfriends can tell you just how ridiculous that crap is.

So are you really going to keep reading that stuff? Maybe you wind up with Reid Welch as a room---er, CELL mate?

. . . . forward, immediate, imposing, unrelenting, prolonged.So, yes, more than likely it was a particularly strong message of dominance. . . .
[It kind of helped she was already pretty horny, judging from the way she was presenting herself to the other male customers.]

Was that a YES????

Update: just had cocoa, and I'm getting moments of delirium now reading this, lol.

Nah, the warm delirium is from looking at the master working his magic on Ariel, and seeing her reacting as she tenders her own magic on him in return. Let them be a good influence on you, I'd say you sound like you need one right now. I picture these guys who create these stories and these illustrations who put all this work into them because it's the only way they have of living it, what with having told themselves all the things you keep telling yourself. Use you head and stop building a wall between yourself and reality, things will get easier if you keep the real world in view rather than telling yourself you see the proof of things that aren't even there. As much as I wish I could just run meet an Ariel type, I know that's not what's gong to happen, no matter how well I could do that Kaa bit.

I'll tell you you'll be doing yourself a favor if you resolve the shower issue and get back into the everyday world. All this talk of being "Identified you give the idea that there's either a mob hit out on you or you're AWOL and the military is looking for you. But I'm guessing it's more delusion than fact, I stressed that the local police were going to be out to 'Get' me when I was supposed to be a witness against an officer (Who never went on trial) and the county investigator said I was a "Grand slam home run" testifying against a cop because I'm the solid citizen who's never been arrested and doesn't even get parking tickets. Oh, home ownership helps with such status, yes. I start thinking of then trying to find an excuse to lock me up and make me no longer such a threat, but whether that was lick trying to bell the cat and the dirtbag who tried it would be in trouble or just plain the more honest one's wanted no part of it I could never know, I just had to get over it and stop worrying. But you can come up with a plausible explanation for just about anything if you do too much listening to yourself.

Oh, if you don't watch out I'm going to tell you about Johnny Appleseed.

 

[swbluto]

Okay, dominance was probably the underlying motif.

Okay, now you're scaring her.

And, yes, I purposely held and did not flinch. I did not care, this girl needed to know where she /f'ing/ stood, challenging my choice in towns and implied status.[It is kind of funny though, if she thought magnolia was bad, I'd have to lol when she saw this neighborhood, lol.]

Okay, are we going to be missing these posts for awhile after the police come pick you up? I'm tellin' ya', the people who write that crap are selling fantasy, people like you endulge yourself on what you want to believe anyway and HOPE that someone else writing it somehow proves something. No, those of us who have HAD girlfriends and been able to TALK to women about their boyfriends can tell you just how ridiculous that crap is.

I actually have to lol when I'm reading my writings, when talking about "it's all about that dominance.",I really have to sell myself on the concept in applying it to that situation, lol. I think I was clearly 'undressing her with my eyes' as opposed to 'dominating' her, lol, and she apparently liked it.

Okay, found another term for it. "f-me eyes"

I think it's when a guy is doing it, it's not "f-me eyes" anymore, lol. But nearly identical intent.

I've seen those eyes before, along with legs spreading and motioning in that direction, with her lipping 'f me'. But it was verboten. If only it wasn't, damnit, lol.

It's legal sure, but oh, no, everyone would find out and everyone I knew would disown me, so that wasn't going to happen.

 

[Dauntless]

 

[slacker]

proving mark twain again.

 

[swbluto]

https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn9543-living-alone-may-double-heart-disease-risk/

Divorced women have a 40% decreased risk compared to their married counterparts. Oh, interesting, that suggests that marriage, at least for the women in Aarhus, Denmark, tends to be more stressful than being divorced. I can't seem to infer the relative risk to single never-been-married women from the article.

Well, anyway, that's interesting because it might partially explain the 70/30% female-initiated/male-initiated USA divorce ratio. Women may tend to be more dissatisfied than males in marriage for reasons I don't entirely understand.[I don't entirely understand it because it seems like more women are pushing marriage than men are... but then again I don't really know... maybe there's a lot of guys pushing marriage as a way of "keeping a girl" they think there's a threat of losing if they didn't marry her otherwise, and this isn't really widely reported. I swear though there's more girls than guys pushing marriage, I've known more than one girl who was trying to push marriage on me.]

 

[Dauntless]

proving mark twain again.

I wouldn't say you actually proved anything, I just think you further called yourself into question. To those who think that where there's smoke there's fire, Twain probably had some advice about dumping water on you. But I think someone else covered you better.

"We are always paid for our suspicion by finding what we suspect."
- Henry David Thoreau

 

[swbluto]

Thinking more about this proposed investment algorithm.

After a crash
Invest when 20% higher than recent trough
Sometime within the timespan of 5-9 yeas later, sell when 10% lower than recent peak.

Fitting this to the DJIA data, it looks like a 30% gain would've been realized between 2002-2007, and then a 100% gain from 2010 to 2017.

I'm not sure if this was the best "safe" gain you could find in the stock markets, especially for the 2002-2007 time period. 6% per annum isn't bad, but it seems like there were comparable or higher returns available during that time period in the "financial" markets. (Obviously, there was great returns in real nrestate during that time period, lol. But, you'd have to time that market so well, and not a lot of people had that foresight and it takes significant time to liquidate real estate.).

For the 2010-2017 period, oh well, that's about the best returns you could find, but only because of the wall-street-bank-controlled feds manipulating the stock market and flooding it with funny money. Flooding the economy with funny money is usually a sign of the end of an economy, but they were particularly selective with how they flooded the markets. Seems like much of the funny flowed into stock market and real estate (investors buying housing), directly increasing wealth inequality and increasingly taxing renters in 'tight real estate markets'(Usually coastal, but also certain big cities.). They were doing this under the guise of the "Wealth affect", lol. If by wealth affect they meant making the rich richer and the poor poorer, I guess they're right about that, lol.

 

[swbluto]

Anyway, I'm thinking about that chemical addiction, wondering if it's still there.

She definitely showed strong signs of drug withdrawal (Like, I'm not talking about "I'm nervous around my crush" nervousness, but a violent shaking as if in the throes of crack addiction withdrawal), suggesting a sudden break in the chemical addiction, so it's very possible it was very shortlived, lol.

But... I strongly believe she was thinking of me in the days ahead, I just can't confirm if another addiction has replaced it, lol. At the time, it didn't look like she was waiting for anyone, lol.

I'm also thinking about that "omg, so hott" face at first when I initiated my bold, unrelenting stare. She was experiencing the exact same feeling I was when I was biting my fist earlier, it's just the only difference was she wasn't bringing her fist upto her mouth, lol (Gaping mouth, shorter/quicker breaths, eyes looking down, head veering right, then dramatically snapping left.). She definitely was feeling that "hot/steamy" feeling I had earlier. Okay, it's good I'm starting to learn to read these cues accurately, lol. Now I'm starting to wonder if she was thinking the exact same thing I was... "I want to /f/ you so bad", lol, which would oddly mirror my intended message with that stare if true ("I want you now, baby, xxx", lol).

She wasn't "looking charmed" or "Acting like an alien" like I originally thought, lol, she was definitely getting hot under the collar.

The proceeding infatuation would fit with that story.

Wow, that escalated quick now that I'm starting to fully realize what she was thinking/feeling.

And would that make for the foundation of a solid, longterm relationship?

Who cares, will find out later, lol.

---------------------------

It's interesting I can't seem to find examples of this nonverbal behavior online, youtube or otherwis. I'm half thinking it's because I don't know what it's called, lol.

Nope, couldn't find examples. Surely it's documented somewhere? I get the strong inclination this is universal nonverbal behavior and not just something unique to us both, lol.

So why am I constantly recalling this... 1) chemical addiction firstly 2) Instructive, secondly. I've never caused females to react in that way, but there's a lot of things that are true now that weren't true before, so that might explain the self-assured boldness.

 

[swbluto]

I think when my eyes were asking, she was going in the direction of boyfriend/girlfriend, since that's typically how that works. And was she looking for love or a boyfriend, or both? I'm thinking one or the other or more than likely both. It'd explain why she was flirting with all the guys; she was looking. Either that or she's a ho, lol.

So my bet is she was looking for a boyfriend, and that's what she thought she found in me.

There was the girl I once knew, she just wanted a boyfriend, I don't think love really entered it, lol. Getting loved anyway didn't seem to be as important as merely having a boyfriend, lol. I'm sure she wouldn't have minded both, but... yep, anyway. That's why I make the distinction, lol.

Anyhow, when I start regularly interacting with the outside world outside grocery visits (Soon enough), I'm definitely taking the daily showers, haircut and keeping a set of clean clothes. Daily showers are just kind of hard without a bug-free area to do it, but I sure would make a point of it when it becomes highly desired. [I also don't really have ready access to water at the moment; it's funny how many things aren't possible without water, cleaning one of them.]

https://www.tractorsupply.com/tsc/product/cast-iron-pitcher-pump?cm_vc=-10005

Cool, so they have the same exact pump that Amazon has (The Simmons Pitcher Pump) for about $6 cheaper and I can pick it up whenever. Great. (None of the hardware stores carry pitcher pumps)

The difference is they painted this model black, as opposed to the red simmons.

And got the auger today, will use soon enough. Need to get piping and couplers for the well and pressure treated corner posts, concrete, t-posts and sand and gravel for the water filters.

Interesting infomation on sand filters.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sand_filter#Rapid_Pressure_Sand_Bed_Filter_Design

As the title indicates, the speed of filtration is changed in the slow sand filter, however, the biggest difference between slow and rapid sand filter, is that the top layer of sand is biologically active, as microbial communities are introduced to the system. The recommended and usual depth of the filter is 0.9 to 1.5 meters. Microbial layer is formed within 10–20 days from the start of the operation. During the process of filtration, raw water can percolate through the porous sand medium, stopping and trapping organic material, bacteria, viruses and cysts such as Giardia and Cryptosporidium. The regeneration procedure for slow sand filters is called scraping and is used to mechanically remove the dried out particles on the filter. However, this process can also be done under water, depending on the individual system. Another limiting factor for the water being treated is turbidity, which is for slow sand filters defined to be 10 NTU (Nephelometric Turbidity Units). Slow sand filters are a good option for limited budget operations as the filtration is not using any chemicals and requires little or no mechanical assistance. However, because of a continuous growing population in communities, slow sand filters are being replaced for rapid sand filters, mostly due to the running period length.

Almost implies I can directly create drinking water directly from the well water with enough sand. I think I would still want to run the water through my UV filter, and I might want activated charcoal filtering for possible chemicals in the water. It appears I can make activated charcoal from burned up hardwoods, and I have hardwood logs just waiting to roast in a fire.

It appears I could expect a minimum filtration rate of .1m/hr = 10cm/hr = 4 inches/hour.

And, I think I figured out where I'm going to get mini-watermelon seeds. They're almost impossible to find on ebay and of questionable quality, but I just came up with a better idea: Buy a mini watermelon from the store and plant the seeds, lol. Highest quality possible, right? And cheaper... way cheaper than paying $10 (w/shipping) for johnny's 30 watermelon seeds.

I noticed the mini watermelons at the store were not labeled "seedless"... this is good.

 

[Dauntless]

You deleted a post again. TOO LATE, I already saw it.

Daily showers help promote a bug free environment, not the only thing to creating one but it helps.

You don't find a confirmation online because you're the only one to ever contemplate such a possibility. If someone else had thought of it they'd have written about it.

Your socalled investment 'Algorithm,' it's a strategy, the difference being an algorithm requires more to be set. You have so little info I can't explain it specific to what you're after, so here's baby steps toward seeing the big picture. When a stock goes up, what does it usually do the next day? When it stumbles on Monday, what can you expect for Tuesday. The answer is that it will usually move back in the direction it came from and seek equilibrium. The idea of waiting for it to go up 20% is that you want to wait for it to show itself as a mover, if you buy at 110% and sell at 100% you lose money. When Nintendo started it's march from not quite $12 to 6 times that in the months leading up to the release of the Wii game, it had already been rising or it would have been time for me to buy, right? A stock that drops 10% from recent high is usually done for awhile, if you try to hold it until it recovers you miss having your money somewhere that could have made you something.

Specifically you sound like your mind is on 'Fallen Angels.' Stocks that used to be much higher. Theoretically IBM, Kodak, Borders Bookstores, all fallen angels that might regain their old magic. Maybe if you wait long enough, right? Hey, even a dead cat can bounce when it hits bottom, ask Buster Brown shoes. Before you say you don't really mean THAT kind of company, you'd need to know more about your chosen fallen angels to know if you're picking more of those kind.

I'll tell you to look up Technical Investing. That's not the S&P, that's doing things that focus on the 200 day moving average. I guess it has Riemann Sums as its' foundation. Take the price at the last 200 days' close of business and average them. Is the average above or below today's price? Rather than tell you what it means, I'll tell you to look up online 200 day moving average and let online confirm it for you. Read and learn, don't try to get by on the most superficial information.

Myself nothing can make me completely forget the price to earnings ratio. People say that Apple obviously shows I'm wrong about that, but Apple has been a fallen angle again and again. I've known people to lose money on Apple because they buy at the wrong time. No matter how much it falls it never gets to a good price to earnings ratio, which means it's still overbought after it falls because of all the SALES, it's the ultimate investor pressure stock that will go up even though it shouldn't and will never fall as far as it should. You can tell that'll never be a stable stock because the price to earnings ratio is so bad.

My Nintendo call had not been for a fallen angel, it was for a company that had sound fundamentals and looked to make money even if the Wii proved a failure. The Wii itself was a wild card, but I saw this stock as no gamble, it would go up and then the Wii might make it go up more. Instead the hype made it explode before the game got there and it already had its' rise for the console before it was released.

There's much to understand about investing before you blunder out with half baked info and lose everything.

The Dow was definitely a fallen angel after 2008. A 30% gain in 5 years is weak retirement account safe investing. That's actually just a 5% annual return. There was a nasty fall from the 3rd quarter of 2002 through into the 2nd quarter of 2003 because investors did not support the talk of invading Iraq. The better way to make money there was the short selling of other people's fallen angels. The post 2010 was recovering the losses of 2007-08.

So what you're saying is that you can judge everything by looking into someone's eyes, eh? Kind of like George Dubya Bush after he'd had the chance to look deep into Vladimir Putin's eyes. Research Dubya's evaluation of Putin from his experience then rethink forming opinions that way. Instead, try to learn more about her by asking a out solar. You're supposed to be putting in solar at your ranch, maybe the right woman will get you started.

I wish I had another point to make using the cartoons of others. That was fun.

 

[swbluto]

You deleted a post again. TOO LATE, I already saw it.

Daily showers help promote a bug free environment, not the only thing to creating one but it helps.

You don't find a confirmation online because you're the only one to ever contemplate such a possibility. If someone else had thought of it they'd have written about it.

Lol, no, obviously not. I think it's hard to find precisely because it hasn't been specifically labeled yet and the label has acquired common parlance. As to the nonverbal sequence existing... oh yeah, it definitely does, I saw leanardo dicaprio do it, lol.

Some people try to subdue it, so it comes across a little bit milder and not as obvious in effect but it is definitely detectable. I think people who aren't afraid to exhibit their emotions, like this person, tend to be more likely to display it in public. I guess the milder mannered people would tend to suppress it.

[Now... I'm just wondering... maybe we were both attracted to each other's fearlessness? That /almost/ seems plausible, though I'm not sure if I can deduce why fearlessness would be attractive in females. For males, kind of obvious...]

But it is possible, I guess, we were the only two people on earth that switched from the left side to the right side when getting hot under the collar. (Lol, YEAH RIGHT! As much as I want to believe I'm a special snowflake, the more I want to think I'm different, the more I realize I'm really the same.)

This depiction by dicaprio lacks the... intensity of a real life reaction. It seems like a lot of pictures I'm seeing online tend to lack the intensity of genuine emotions, probably because they're acting and not caught in the middle of it.

As to the stock market, when it comes to individual stocks, it's definitely a popularity contest. If you can tell where the attention of investors are shifting, you could probably make good money.

I think investing in "growth industries" is a good investment strategy (For example, if you invested in the search engine industry when it was born, including yahoo, google and the like and shifted more money to the leaders over time, you probably could've made some really good money). My set of conditions is rigid enough to code into a computer, so you could technically call it an algorithm, but I agree it has /the spirit/ of a strategy.

Old buddy Warren Buffett said something very similar to I:

"In the short term the market is a popularity contest; in the long term it is a weighing machine."

https://money.stackexchange.com/questions/28026/explanation-on-warren-buffetts-famous-quote

What does he mean by a weighing machine?

In the long run which in value investing time can extend to even multiple decades, an equity is more or less subject only to the variance of the underlying value.

This can be seen by examining the annual chart of even the smallest cap equities over decades. An equity over such time periods is almost exclusively affected by its changes in value.

Quantitatively, this statement means that equities experience low variance in the long run.

So it converges to the stock's underlying value over time as measured by its PE ratio and earnings.

 

[swbluto]

I'm open to the idea by doing that, I was essentially claiming her as my property and, thus, domination could be an adequate description (Though maybe not it's S&M form, lol.). Of course, it's her decision whether she was accepting of said property claim and she seemed pretty willing.

I guess another way to say it, "Girls get wet when being claimed as yours", lol.

I already said she definitely got weak in the knees... makes me wonder if this was why...

And then the infatuation that ensued was the imprinting of said claim of possession. ("The strong bond")

I'm thinking that's /really/ what was going on underneath it all. That's the only way I can explain the intensity in her emotions after I withdrew (Upon suspecting underlying disinterest and manipulation); it wasn't innocent flirting at that point like /I/ thought. [Somehow I felt like I knew that [instinct], but yet I didn't [inexperience].)

Weak in the knees, can barely speak... there's some clues in this picture.

[youtube]1_dD-nVS6ps[/youtube]

Oh look, a music video behind it, a lyrics video at that, a trove of clues.

I wouldn't say I'm a sailor moon fan, but I think my demeanor at that moment was probably very similar to tuxedo mask's.

[youtube]lMbdDhDDgMg[/youtube]

Got some Great Value branded pink salmon from walmart yesterday(In house brand), and wow, this stuff tastes great and it was only $2.42 per can. Similarly great tasting pink salmon typically costs $3.69, so this is the brand I'd be stocking up on. (I'm not in a position right now to start stockpiling salmon, lol, there are other higher priorities like fencing and water. It'd be pretty awesome getting my own drinking water going, would eliminate those biweekly $1.20/gas-per-trip drinking water trips, and more importantly, it'd assure a way for me to have drinking water should my van go down. It's easy to underestimate it when you're not really thinking about it, but when your supply lines get disrupted, you suddenly realize how important it really is and how vulnerable you are.)

Anyway, recipe for making activated charcoal from wood for chemical filtering:

http://www.survivalnewsonline.com/index.php/2014/01/activated-carbon-from-homemade-charcoal/

Make charcoal. You get your carbon from charcoal, and the main problem with activating it at home is the temperature at which you make the charcoal from wood. It needs to be cooked between 900 and 1400 degrees Farenheit, and it’s difficult to reach and control those temperatures in the back yard. When we made charcoal (read this article), it was questionable whether we reached those temperatures, but if you can do it, by all means go for it.
Powder the charcoal. I know that pea-sized chunks are easier to handle, but because this backyard activation process is not 100% effective, you need the smallest pieces charcoal you can get, so go ahead and powder it.
Make a 25% solution (by weight) of calcium chloride. Calcium chloride is widely available and generally considered non-toxic, so it’s safe to handle. To make a 25% solution, weigh 3 parts of water and mix in 1 part calcium chloride. For example, dissolve 100 grams of calcium chloride in 300 grams (same as 300 mL) of water.
Make a paste with the calcium chloride solution and your powdered charcoal. Watch the video to get an idea of how much solution to use, and how thick the paste should be.
Spread the paste to dry.
Rinse with clean water.
Bake at 225 degrees F for 30 minutes.

[youtube]lN0fT1Uvcsw[/youtube]

How do you make calcium chloride?

https://www.cuteness.com/article/make-calcium-chloride

Step 1

Place the limestone in the beaker. Use enough limestone the fill the beaker about 1/4 full. Put on the gloves.
Step 2

Add a 1/4 of a beaker of hydrochloric acid to the limestone.
Step 3

The hydrochloric acid will start to bubble as it dissolves the limestone. Gently swirl the beaker to mix the contents and make sure the reaction goes to completion. If all of the limestone dissolves, add a little bit more.
Step 4

Once the solution stops bubbling, filter off the solids by pouring the solution through the filter paper into the second beaker. The calcium chloride is dissolved in the filtered solution.
Step 5

Use the hot plate to gently heat the second beaker containing the calcium chloride solution. The solid left after the water evaporates is solid calcium chloride.

So I need some limestone, unfortunately, none of that is on my property or in the nearby area, lol.

How do you get hydrochloric acid?

In this tutorial, we learn how to make hydrochloric acid from salt. First, you will pour some salt into a distil flask. After this, you will add in some concentrated sulfuric acid to the salt. Next, you will let these react with each other. You will start to see gasses bubble up and the excess hydrogen chloride gas come out through the top of the tube. To create a stronger reaction, you can add heat underneath the reaction. Then, test this by exposing it to ammonium chloride. If it's the right reaction, you will get white smoke from adding in the ammonium chloride.

So you get salt from mountain rock salt or sea salt. Where do you get sulfuric acid?

[youtube]6ms6xbPhdVs[/youtube]

So water and sulfur. So I need sulfur deposits, which I don't have.

So, to make calcium chloride from "scratch"(The most basic obtainable elements from nature), I'd need...

water, sulfur, salt and limestone. I think I would just rather just buy some calcium chloride, lol.

[So I would need the sea and volcano land and wherever limestone deposits are found (KInd of random in the USA). Then I'd need find away to refine the raw ore. DIY material sourcing from the ore on purchased land is likely $$$$$$, lol.]

It might be a "Better idea" buying activated charcoal directly, but I suspect making it from calcium chloride is significantly more cost effective over the longterm.

 

[swbluto]

For some reason, whenever I get that feeling I've somehow "failed" in comparing myself to 'my true peers' (Who aren't really my true peers, lol), it feels like heart failure symptoms pick up. I can't confirm I have heart failure, but my breathing gets congested, phlegm starts to come up my throat causing me to cough.... it's almost like the pulmonary edema symptoms pick up or something. I can't confirm I have pulmonary edema, but it's like the only known explanation I have for the way the symptoms feel.

I suppose stress-induced acid reflux is plausible... I've never heard of it.

http://www.health.com/health/condition-article/0,,20279852,00.html

In surveys, the majority of people who experience acid reflux identify stress as a common trigger. The problem is that studies have failed to find a connection between the stress and the amount of stomach acid in the esophagus, which is the ultimate cause of heartburn pain.

Well, I guess that's more than likely than, lol. It just seemed like "failing in life"->"Heart failure" seemed like a way too logical relationship, lol. And I do have fleeting coronary ischemia at times. [But it's fleeting, so no major cause of concern to call 911,lol.]

 

[swbluto]

I'm actually starting to wonder... if her holding back and not committing herself despite her being swept away really meant... she's a whore. And, the instinctive thing that came to my mind was "stupid f'ing whore". Let's see if this is common.

https://www.google.com/search?site=...1386.0..0j0i8i30k1j0i24k1.P-XtQqUDZog#imgrc=_

Yep, so I'm thinking my spidey sense is telling me something. And the correct response to these types is tell them to /f off/ and treat them like the piece of /s/ they are, and then they're like "f me, baby, you're treating me exactly the way I want to be treated. I love being ignored and verbally abused.", lol. The less you think of a girl seems to have that affect, especially with these types. Makes me wonder if my rejection was exactly what she was looking for; she really wants to be degraded and 'punished'. I just don't know enough about her type to make a good assessment, if she's one of those kind of girls that really wants to be degraded deepdown. If they're constantly breaking "the rules of common decency", yeah, they're the types looking to be used and abused and they love the guy man enough to keep her in place.

I just get the strange feeling... I don't know if I'm mistaking it for something else... but she's one of those girls that wants to be used and thought lowly of. She seemed like she was "low class" or "trampy" in the way she responded... a deep down really insecure female... I have my suspicions. If she is, then that's a pretty easy game to play.

Anyway, kind of immaterial at this point since who I am kidding, I probably won't see her ever again, lol.

 

[Dauntless]

No, actually, just plain no. You're almost as bad as Slacker, isn't THAT embarrassing. There's no point in trying to convince yourself you can blame your own inability to communicate psychically and control a woman on her, YOU"RE NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE TRYING TO.

You sure sound more and more like the example people use to justify prostitution. These guys who just aren't interested in any sort of connection to a woman, who just want sex and don't want any bother in trying to get it. That the woman doesn't like that isn't any reason you get to be angry. Get over it.

Of course you're going to work up an excuse to not believe that. And we all know who you can go to for advice on such crap.

At least I found a use for another picture.

 

[swbluto]

I feel like I'm reading way more common sense on the bodybuilding forums than the feminist california pansies I encounter elsewhere.

https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=139861693&page=4

Not sure if every girl is into this, but I think it's more of a biological urge to just get dominated and completely surrender? To a guy that we like that is. If I really really like a guy, I would love to please him. Roleplay, etc lol

Of course, this particular user is a girl, so of course. But, that completely rings true with my experience "Get dominated and completely surrender".

Any reminder of my "Inabilities" just gets a big LOL because ... yeah, my successes so far testifies otherwise. My experience counts way more than the failed ideologies of pussies.

Anyway, yeah, I didn't really become a bodybuilder until earlier this year (And purely by necessity) so I guess I'm seeing the results of the psychological transformation therein and it's looking good. Muscles are good for more than reducing insulin resistance; muscle men don't get the ladies because girls love muscles, but because they're healthier and increased drive and motivation. Muscles increase testosterone and increase fat burning, thus reducing estrogen production. This is in turn makes you more like a man as nature intended instead of a female. And heterosexual girls love men, not women; gay women love women, which is often outside the realm of heterosexual men.

I'm making it official: I'm getting relationship advice from the bodybuilding forums, they obviously have higher success rates and experiences that seem to agree so well with my experiences and suspicions thereof. I'm not saying that other forums are useless in other matters, that's often not the case.

My only reason I'm here is that I was once a poor college student in a poor town during The Great Recession and Peak Oil Pricing, but I'm no longer in college, no longer so poor I can't afford a vehicle and no longer in a poor town, so I'm somewhat of a mismatch at this point but I stay largely because of nostalgia. (Really, I'm just too lazy to find another forum to post my crap on, lol.)

Anyway, I will remind me anyone, that situation ended fairly well, she was excited and I was happy by the end, so all was looking good from all angles really. I could've easily came back the next day or after and I guarantee she would've been f'ing happy to see me again... but something happened.... someone stole my gloves and chainsaw bar while I was gone, leading to the banishing of midday trips. So, I never saw her again and lots of time has past, so yeah, it f'ing sucks that I have thieves in my midst and the fence isn't up yet, but that's changing fast, getting materials today if all goes my way.

 

[Dauntless]

I'm making it official: I'm getting relationship advice from the bodybuilding forums, they obviously have higher success rates and experiences that seem to agree so well with my experiences and suspicions thereof.

"Higher success rates?" You know this how? Because they TOLD YOU? The entertainment value on that one is just gonna keep growing the more I and others discuss it.

What you're saying is, all a guy has gotta do is claim that the same methods you're striking out with and whining about works every time---AND YOU BELIEVE IT? Hey, Emperor, what's with these 'Clothes' you're wearing? Ever read the original story? Everyone ignores the kid and they continue the parade, acting out. Except the Emperor suddenly realizes that he's fooling no one, that they all have one on him now. They are all silently laughing at him. I can just imagine the messages they're sending back and forth: 'Check this guy out. You know what I'm going to tell him. . . ?'

Oh, please DO inform us on what they do come up with for you. As long as you're not too graphic about it you're welcome to also tell us about the stuff they swear by, that'll 'Add inches' and the women will be 'Stunned.' I'm sure they're discussing all kinds of great advice for their wide eyed toadie.

The only reason you are here is because you have no 'Network of Support,' as they call it. Have you ever wondered why I'm so patient with the hating faction in this community? Because I'm too sympathetic for my own good. These people who run out of people to fight with in real life so they go online. What happens when you get them where THEY won't have anything of you?

So you can been as boneheaded as a baboon, or ssssmoooth as a ssssnake? Just don't complain if you picked the wrong one. (She's reading to him from what? 'Lady Chatterly's Lover?' '50 Shades of Grey?' Same book, really.)

(Was supposed to be two pics, the computer went nuts and posted then had a screen freeze, so I went off to eat.)

 

[swbluto]

Lol@the baboon. Okay, I'm will withdraw from this particular tangent, but that thread is about "Women love being sexually degraded.". The reason - it makes you a higher status male compared to her, and she loves getting f'ed by higher status men. Holy crap, I don't know why I have to explain that girls love men with higher status than themselves, seems like it should be intuitive.

Anyway, I think about that stare...

I wonder what it really meant. Love or I want to /f/ your brains out.... hmmm... I can't tell because I wasn't thinking any particular naughty thoughts at that point. And, I would almost think she took it as being loved, which she loved.

I just thought this because I saw a recently wedded and impregnated female with 2 small children, and ... oh... it was NOT HARD to imagine getting her in bed, lol. The HEB chick... no... I did not think "Wow, I just want to f you" just by looking at her... her personality was pretty attractive, her looks were for the most part were just kind of plain, she didn't really look pretty until well after I interacted with her. Which makes me suspect... GO AFTER HER MAN, lol. Looks fade, personality is forever.

Anyway, I guess I'm deep down a little bumbly in interaction. It seems intuitive I would match a flighty personality. [Though, I suspect it's really the flirtiness, lol, but no, I feel like we're on the same page. Intelligent and open-minded, a little eccentric. It felt like our tuning forks were in sync, which was lovely.]

Anyway, I got all the materials today besides the 10 ft t-posts - apparently have to call around to find who has them. Want to use the 10 ft for the front to try to deter thieves (Make it challenging).

Will dig up the well tomorrow and probably started on the post holes. Need to get the RV on the property soon before setting the posts for the driveway.

Anyway, it's interesting seeing people today working at Kroger's that I recognized from HEB. It's like I'm living in a smallish community in this general area. And, I would surmise that the lake and surrounding areas generally has a LOT OF OLD PEOPLE, lol. I get the sense most of the younger people are more towards the center of Houston. The person I recognized was that eternally smiling brown haired female. It is interesting, due to the spread out nature of Houston, people often limit their driving to 12-25 miles from wherever they live, so it seems to feel like a smallish community in this relatively low population area in the case where you start to recognize people. Anyway, that is kind of cool, actually, make it feel worthwhile getting to know them because you'll see them again. Unlike the HEB chick, I don't know if I will /ever/ see her again, lol. Seems like it should happen, because she presumably lives somewhere in Magnolia, but... yeah... who knows, lol.

Anyway, I do like krogers because their organic bananas seem yellower than Walmart's, lol, and they have $1 watermelon slices. The best price for watermelons of any quantity in the area (Minimum price elsewhere is $2.50 in the area). Their pricing seems to be more in line with HEB. Walmart seems to charge more because they count on their large food stamp customer base not really giving a dang what it costs.

Anyway, my neighbor seems to have little savings. Wow, I prioritize having savings just in case something go EXTREMELY WRONG, lol. (And, also, because I can't really predict my income currently, as July reminded me. Ordering patterns have recently gone back to normal, but the last half of July still scared me, lol. July sales seem to be reputed to be a bit slow, but that was way out of the norm, as others noticed.)

I'm taking a short-term dip in savings because fencing and securing water are HIGH PRIORITY projects, lol. They both enable...

1) Cleaning my person
2) Cleaning my cloths
3) Watering my garden, thus producing food.
4) Keeping my ant-preventing moats filled.
5) Potentially cutting out the $4/week drinking water expense. (Needs further investment... need a charcoal filter.)
6) Drinking water for future pets.
7) Leaving during the day for job-seeking, interviews, whatever.
8. Legal protection. Which, essentially, is wealth and asset protection. Without a fence, certain persons may feel immune to private property rights and act accordingly which would be to my disadvantage.

 

[swbluto]

Fear and ecstacy. I could detect fear and she undeniably was experiencing ecstacy. I took the fear as a signal of distrust, but I guess maybe that's not how it works with these 'dominant stares'.

I just don't know if that was a dominant stare or 'an eye /f/'. I wonder if they're essentially identical... they almost look like it.

I was undeniably trying to impress on her I was better than she was, and she better watch her judgments. At least that's what I was thinking at the time... I was also thinking... "Wow, you're hot", lol. God, I can't really tell which particular thought compelled that stare, lol.

It was undeniably forward, persistent and unflinching. As in, I had a statement to make and you're going to listen it, lol. And, I definitely felt annoyed by her judgment but simultaneously turned on.

She really thought I moved to "this particular town", lol. No bitch, I MOVED TO HOUSTON, lol.

But... she definitely thought she was falling in love as did I. Which makes me wonder if I really was trying to impress anything on her about her recent judgment, lol. Well, it felt like the first motivation, but I don't know if it was the directly previous motivation. It almost seems like my explanation had resolved that tension... but... maybe not quite... needed some forceful dominant staring to go with it. Thinking really really hard... yeah... it felt like my statement needed some nonverbal reinforcement, but it also felt like I was flirting with her too. Maybe they're one and hte

"That stare of fear and ecstacy".

Yeah, that was exactly it. She had a stare of fear and ecstacy (What I've been calling the "infatuation look"). Couldn't really detect the ecstacy so much, only in hindsight after looking at the evidence and confirmg it with research online (For example, that "Breathing hard" thing), but I could definitely detect the fear. Psychopaths are good at detecting fear, I'm sure it has something to do with my loving scaring things sometimes. I'm sure that's a common enjoyment, not a surefire sign I'm a classic diagnosable psychopath, lol.

Man, reading this thing... was she really have an orgasm off my stare? lol.

I think I could detect ecstasy and delirium in one neat little experience. The "losing control" thing(delirium). You could detect the delirium by the eyes tending to roll slightly backwards/upwards during every hard breath in.

My mom, for example, is amused when she frightens me and I don't think she's a psychopath. But, she was a top nurse and she hasn't told me the stories of her fellow nurses she's thrown under the bus... lol... (She probably didn't, but who knows - she wouldn't have told me if she was interested in keeping a good reputation. She didn't really have much to gain from that anyway, so maybe she just didn't have the motivation, even if she were a psychopath. psyhopaths manipulate for their own personal gain, not necessarily purely for their pleasure, especially if a personal cost is to be had. Just because you're a psycopath, doesn't mean you're a stupid psychopath [a psychopath harming their own inerests].).

My father, on the otherhand, seemed completely disinterested in scaring anything. My mom, however, did.

I'm going with the theory my eyes were domineering her as mine, and that dominance stoked fear and ecstacy. Why the hell would it stoke fear, though? lol.

The difference between the meme creator and I is that he just accepts it as a "good sign", I want to know why, lol.

I can't make much sense of it... but dominance definitely had something to do with it. And I did feel like I was claiming her as mine. And she clearly was feeling like she was mine, until I rejected her (Because I thought she was afraid, thus distrusting/disinterested, and her baby noises were manipulation) which she then despaired. And she then tried everything in her power to get me back, like that really high pitched voice (If you can imagine the kind of voice a girl might have when talking about their dream guy to another girl), which clearly worked, lol, so I was friendly with her again and she became so happy and excited, so excited like a harry potter fan girl meeting Daniel Radcliffe,lol. She was acting elated, yes, elated is the operative word.

Then a thief stole my chainbar while I was gone so I couldn't see her again.

I feel like I need to hunt the f'er down... I would lol if I didn't feel like I was being serious, lol. Cockblocked by a damn thief.

So, as you see... I can't get her out of my mind because we both claimed each other, and that has not died in my mind. I don't know about hers, especially with how much time has past, but I wouldn't hold against her and I wouldn't hold myself against pursuing anyone else at this point. But, I'm not really looking right now because of current finances, lol. That kind of changed when the honda generator died after 6 months and I suddenly realized my operating costs were a lot higher than I thought, which made my operation seem a lot less profitable than I thought. And then I was like "F it, let's get a job, I know I'd make more money that way and I could just operate this business on the side for a little extra dough." If the honda has lasted 2 years or so, I would've still be pretty profitable. But at 6 months, with the implied cost being 4x higher per unit, lol, NOT REALLY! lol. So, thus, the current push to get the fence up so I can go job hunting. And the push to get water going so I can start a garden and living off the land and reduce my food bill. I didn't know the true cost of running a generator until it died when it did. Hypothetically, this 1400w champion generator would suffice with the warranty covrage, but the voltage isn't stable enough for my wildly fluctuating load, so things shutdown. It's been a challenge getting it to power my business.

 

[swbluto]

Anyway... the people here...

Compared to the west coast... it's a motley crew. Bunch of schlums. Uncouth and lacking sophistication. I get a strong sense that 'the beautiful sophisticated people' are all in California, lol. I'm not saying that's strictly true of everyone (In particular, not the girl I was claiming, lol. Even then... I wouldn't say she came across as a normal girl... but... she definitely had the ability to elicit whatever feelings she wanted in whomever she was speaking to (At least in my case)... so she was likely emotionally intelligent. And, she likely used inference, though probably in error sometimes like on my person, she likely was making assumptions based on "White people standards", lol.), but it seems to be the norm as opposed to the exception.

Complicit to that is the fact is that everybody drives everywhere, so there's often little walking. I make a habit of walking throughout the day to keep the blood flowing (RV has no walking room), but it also has other substantial benefits besides. Like keeping me looking much thinner compared to my counterparts here, lol. Of course, all the muscle building opportunities with lifting and playing tug-a-war with trees might be playing a role with that. And my subsisting off bananas probably plays a strong role (Bananas normalize fasting blood sugar levels)

Apparently the natives in the Honduras subsist off of bananas and coconuts according to my neighbors.

 

[swbluto]

What does a combination of fear and ecstacy even feel like?

I really have no idea. Or maybe I do...

Like rollercoasters, yeah. Maybe that's it. Maybe that's how I can relate to it. You feel like you're plunging to your death only to be swept away moments from disaster to safety, so it's simultaneously scary and thrilling.

But... wow... that was a sustained fear/ecstacy experience she had though. I really have a hard time imagining it lasting that long. And, it must've been a helluva lot stronger than any feeling I've had on a rollercoaster because... holy crap... you swear she was having a morphine withdrawal with how violently shaking she was. Yeah, so,I think I can safely say I /kind of/ know the feeling, but only kind of, I don't think I've experienced it that intensely and definitely not that sustained.

And then I returned to her, like morphine, and the pleasant glow returned and the shaking immediately ceased. Yeah, she likely had that warmth of morphine for at least a couple days... makes me wonder what's she experienced since? Did she have the pangs of missing? The insomnia/lack-of-appetite/sickness from not having been in my company, like I did? I really do wonder. I thought maybe she wasn't as attached as I was, but I suspect she may have been even more attached, since just about every feeling experienced by her seemed to be a large multiple of mine.

Update: Okay, woke this oddly persisting boner and I think I suddenly realized exactly what that stare meant. I want to /f/ your brains out, and she was getting very excited at the idea [Not because of the message, per se, but how it was delivered: fearless and demanding]. So, yeah, she was looking for a guy who would notch it up fast and just pump her like the whore she was, "dominating her into utter submission", and she thought I was exactly the type who'd do it [She could tell by my fearless pursuit thus far]. Just going for and "taking" exactly what he wants, no apologies needed.

[Wooo, I feel like I'm getting a little hot just reading that, lol.]

It feels so politically incorrect to say it that way, but I truly believe that's what she was looking forward to. Maybe not consciously, although possibly, but definitely instinctually. Tripped the instinctual circuit breaker and I didn't realize it. But my compulsion was instinct, an instinct I hadn't fully exercised before, so this "new territory" I would encounter almost seems entirely predictable in hindsight. And, wow, this is a good instinct to have, lol. Didn't know I really had this much power if only I were unafraid in wielding it.

[Update: Woke up today at 7:51 a.m. with the idea today might be the day I die, lol. Woke up at the 2 hour mark with a softly burning chest sensation, ate a bunch of things because I figured I was hungry(Bananas aren't fully ripe yet, so had some peas), went back to sleep and got 2 more hours of sleep, feeling pretty awake but.... ohhh.... that was a very distinctive feeling of "something's really wrong" I felt just moments ago. It passed but will it return? Let's hope not, lol.]

 

[swbluto]

The fence and well supplies cost about $300. Yep, that was a big hit like I thought. Let's hope I can reverse course in a relatively timely manner and no huge emergency expenses (vehicle, etc.). At this point, definitely a moratorium on (non-gas/non-grocery) goods; minimize restaurant visits (once every 3 days, keep order size minimal). As for saving up for the house, lol, biggest hope is probably job and selling assets.

For the fence... looks like it's raining for the next week. I need to get the RV on the driveway first before setting the vehicle gate posts so might be a while. Maybe, let's hope for very light rain and lots of sun, lol. [Looks like tomorrow morning might work]

If it's not raining, I plan on starting the well sometime after 5 today. Hope to get it all done. Then I need to fashion up a custom 'ladle' for spooning water up to the surface (Cheap and reliable and good exercise. Should not ever fail, unlike pumps.). Then dig up the post holes and then use the water for the concrete to concrete the posts into place. Then pound in the T posts and stretch the fence and secure it using the t-post metal twists.

Need the RV in place before setting the driveway posts.

Anyway, the idea of a stock-market-crash induced recession within the next year seems like non-ideal timing for my job hunting, lol. I wouldn't want to be the first-year-person when recession-induced layoffs happen, assuming they happen. The best bet is aiming for stable industries/companies in this area, I would think. The july episode, however, definitely got a fire on butt to prepare for things like that, like growing my own food and securing on-site water. The idea of not having electricity... Oh my... how would I survive? lol. I don't want to think about it, lol. I need to power fans at a minimum for cooling so I'm thinking solar might be my best bet, but even that isn't reliable all the time.

And for heating... lol... was running 1500w heaters off my 2000w genny last winter... this winter... hmmm.... I have wood. But no stove, lol. I'm not sure what kind of wood stove I could just "pick up and bring home"; they seem all kind of heavy, lol.

Anyway, whatever job I find, will definitely prioritize saving heavily. Same "No going out to eat" rules. Saving heavily was a priority while I was in the navy, because I was saving for a house, but... as time went along... I got the suspicion that maybe should be saving for the possibility of getting kicked out. And, thank goodness I did; used the savings to buy equipment to start a profitable business. Now, the electricity solution is limiting me because honda generators were a /LOT/ more expensive to use than I thought, with them breaking down in 6 months. So, yeah, it's like I'm constantly pivoting... I wish I didn't have to, lol. I want stability, lol.

I'm thinking non-energy intensive lines of business might be a good bet.

Anyway, with all the wealthy retirees in the lake conroe area... I wonder what kind of businesses might be good there? It'd be nice to have an "independent local" source of income, just in case of layoffs or just employers being dicks. Maybe even good business opportunities.

Anyway... I think that about stare of fear and ecstacy. I was concerned about the fear, but... now I'm seeing it as an OK THING in that situation... wow, that was hot, lol. Sexy as f'ing hell, seeing that can kind of affect on a women. Definitely think it wouldn't have been a bad time, absent the context at the time, to pin her against the wall and start an impassioned advance, lol. The club slut? maybe, lol.

 

[swbluto]

With the 25-34 home "ownership" rate of 28%, what's the implied median age for home ownership for my generation going to be? 40? 45?

60% represents the ownership for the average age in this set, age 40, so the likely median is somewhere around 37 years old.

Wow, getting a 30 year mortgage at 37 years old. Literally paying on the house for the rest of your life. I'm in a sweet position, everything is paid for and that's not going to change anytime, especially not now - no bank in their right mind is going to give me a homeloan, lol.

Anyway, that's curious. I think with the declining graph, the median age once my age range(25-34) becomes 10 years old (To match the 35-44 year old age range), will likely be somewhere around 40 years old and maybe even higher. Maybe my generation won't have a median; that is, the 50th percentile will never be homeowners. I do know my generation was definitely hit the hardest with the Great Recession compared to past generations, so my generation will likely show drastic differences in the future in regards to metrics like home ownership rates.

Anyway, started digging with the auger and now down 3 feet and sweating up a storm. Taking short "drying off" breaks, lol. The hardest part is ripping through the roots layer (The top 9 inches), and it's pretty smooth sailing pass that.

 

[Chalo]

Far out. 37, really? You have health quibbles like someone twice your age. Perhaps when real wear and tear comes knocking, you'll have to realign your expectations.

 

[swbluto]

The bone and nerve issues that tend to come with age... while not always preventable... can be largely deterred by leading an active lifestyle and keeping those joints flexible and the blood flowing to them. So, living an agrarian lifestyle sounds like it'd help minimize those kinds of issues.

Now cancer and serious heart-disease... hmmm... it comes when it comes, and building things would be the least of my concerns at that point.

Now into the upper 60s/70s... My, I would simply be thanking my lucky stars if I lived that long without serious issue. Because... oh... I wasn't all that lucky in my earlier 20s in terms of stress.

Now... anyway... thinking back... oh god, I just can't stop thinking about it.... when she made her final departure, after I left, her voice sounded like... like she was talking to someone she's dreaming about, a sort of sighing kind of quality to the entire sentence. Anyway, kind of endearing and being the last words I've heard from her, *cue the drama* they will always be a part of me. *sob* *sob* lol

There's other girls who've sighed about my person, but hearing it from a person whom I like so much, and whom I've had much passionate drama with, is just extremely satisfying. Especially considering we /just met/, lol. Like, holy crap, this might actually have a future.

Anyway, snap back to the current reality bitches, lol.

And I just want to crawl in my hole and drink myself silly, lol.

Finding a job I know is the number one thing I should be doing, I think, but it feels like I'm giving up on the dream. But, I totally recognize when things just aren't working out and it's wise to change course (Inadequate power solutions). Anyway, RV is definitely getting on the drive tomorrow.

Need to get a 5 ft. pipe. I just realized these 10 foot extensions are impossible to use if the hole isn't already like 9 feet down; the extension would be sticking 10 feet up into the air, lol. So I need to get a 5 footer for the intermediary stages. Anyway, hope to do tomorrow.

Anyway... just to remind everyone... the things I talk about on this thread and how I act in real life in front of people I care about are two ENTIRELY DIFFERENT THINGS, lol. Ok, good that we got that clear, lol. Theory and application are two different fields, lol.