Buying forest land, implementing solar

[Dauntless]

If it takes you that long to fix it, that explains why that forest land isn't developed yet.

Why do you keep talking about doing her? Just go and do it! I'll be dead and gone by the time anything here ever gets done.

Dan

Maybe he perceives you as the competition and needs to wait for you to be gone.

 

[swbluto]

Interesting, that "empathic connection" this this site ( http://soulmatereading.com/soulmate-reading/soulmate-connection.html ) is calling a "soulmate connection", apparently isn't permanent. So that does put into question what is it exactly?

Let's say it's the oxytocin/vasopressin bonding with another. Mexican folklore suggests that it'll last 4 months among romantic relations that don't evolve into love, suggesting that the oxytocin bond can eventually wear out. So, if this is what meant by a soulmate connection, this might be it. Really, it feels like when I lose interest in someone else (due to whatever reason), that puts a rather abrupt end to the "empathic connection", so it's very possible that the guy lost interest in this girl.

It's plausible that depression, poverty, ill-health or unemployment could affect interest in others.

 

[swbluto]

If it takes you that long to fix it, that explains why that forest land isn't developed yet.

Ahem,I need the pressure tester first. It takes a week or so for shipping.

And, the forest land is pretty much done in terms of development. The only thing left is uprooting tree stumps for the garden, but I need a $100 device to assist me, and funds have been rather short with all the infrastructural spending (fence $600, shed&platform $500) and what I do have has already been earmarked by higher priorities.

I also want to keep a minimum of $1000 in savings at any one time now, just because it now looks like I can and it's good psychologically.

See this illustration as to why, lol:

Why do you keep talking about doing her? Just go and do it! I'll be dead and gone by the time anything here ever gets done.

Reminders keep bringing her up. She's the gold standard for women in terms of their affect. They need to 1) Not make me feel insecure and 2) Have a strong motivation/ambition increasing affect. They also 3) Not send me into panic attacks that resemble heart attacks. A women doesn't have those characteristics, they're worthless to me and I've had several applicants so far.

And, I also thought about it more...

I was thinking about the kind of dog i'd like and I realized I don't tend to like dog-pound dogs because they tend to be fearful and not very playful. I like picking dogs from a litter because I can see how they interact with others (Are they fearless with the other dogs and play around with them, asserting dominance?), because that carries over to homelife. Playful dogs in the litter tend to be playful dogs at home.

And I realized I like my women exactly the same way. Fearless and playful, what the HEB chick was precisely. The opposite, the anxious 'serious' girls who shun play usually in condescension, are just not the kind I really like.

So, it's kind of good I've found a common thread between how I like my dogs and how I like my women: fearless and playful.

Arguably, the bedroom eyes move I made on her was fearless and playful. It's plausible I'm exactly the same way.

And,I think this excessively warm RV is making me fat. I think I'm realizing I need to make my living environments as close to 68F as I can possibly make them. 100F is making me fat.

Mhmmmm.... yes...the ideal woman...

 

[DAND214]

If it takes you that long to fix it, that explains why that forest land isn't developed yet.

Why do you keep talking about doing her? Just go and do it! I'll be dead and gone by the time anything here ever gets done.

Dan

Maybe he perceives you as the competition and needs to wait for you to be gone.

He can have them. I have the one I met 50 years ago.
Go get her Swbluto, I can't compete with you

Dan

 

[DAND214]

If it takes you that long to fix it, that explains why that forest land isn't developed yet.

Ahem,I need the pressure tester first. It takes a week or so for shipping.

And, the forest land is pretty much done in terms of development. The only thing left is uprooting tree stumps for the garden, but I need a $100 device to assist me, and funds have been rather short with all the infrastructural spending (fence $600, shed&platform $500) and what I do have has already been earmarked by higher priorities.

I also want to keep a minimum of $1000 in savings at any one time now, just because it now looks like I can and it's good psychologically.

See this illustration as to why, lol:

Why do you keep talking about doing her? Just go and do it! I'll be dead and gone by the time anything here ever gets done.

Reminders keep bringing her up. She's the gold standard for women in terms of their affect. They need to 1) Not make me feel insecure and 2) Have a strong motivation/ambition increasing affect. They also 3) Not send me into panic attacks that resemble heart attacks. A women doesn't have those characteristics, they're worthless to me and I've had several applicants so far.

And, I also thought about it more...

I was thinking about the kind of dog i'd like and I realized I don't tend to like dog-pound dogs because they tend to be fearful and not very playful. I like picking dogs from a litter because I can see how they interact with others (Are they fearless with the other dogs and play around with them, asserting dominance?), because that carries over to homelife. Playful dogs in the litter tend to be playful dogs at home.

And I realized I like my women exactly the same way. Fearless and playful, what the HEB chick was precisely. The opposite, the anxious 'serious' girls who shun play usually in condescension, are just not the kind I really like.

So, it's kind of good I've found a common thread between how I like my dogs and how I like my women: fearless and playful.

Arguably, the bedroom eyes move I made on her was fearless and playful. It's plausible I'm exactly the same way.

And,I think this excessively warm RV is making me fat. I think I'm realizing I need to make my living environments as close to 68F as I can possibly make them. 100F is making me fat.

Mhmmmm.... yes...the ideal woman...

You are taking applicants?? No wonder it isn't done.
You are paying good wage? $1000
She looks cute, Where will you order her? from

Dan

 

[swbluto]

You are taking applicants?? No wonder it isn't done.
You are paying good wage? $1000
She looks cute, Where will you order her? from

Dan

Dang straight, those gals take up some time. A whole work day went to waste, lol.

That girl? That's the HEB chick personified. Cute, fearless, playful and feisty. That feistiness cinched the deal.

And this is what an example of the friendzone is...

LOL, is that really what the friendzone's all about? Oh, man, if guys don't get this oh...they deserve to be there I guess. The girl is just testing you (She knows exactly what you mean/want), she's testing your intent/persistence/seriousness. The guy with the passion and seriousness is going to break through that "friend wall" (I'd normally call it the bitch wall), and make a direct and persistent point that "No, I mean as my girlfriend" [Maybe a little bit of "dominance"/leadership... the guy setting the clear expectations.]. I did this with my bedroom eyes (setting the clear expectations... "I want to f your brains out"... and persisting with it by not flinching or veering away, staying the course.), but I can easily see this working just as well in text.She's going to see your direct insistence and if she's talking to you, there's a good chance she's going to feel that "something special"(butterflies,maybe) and fall in line. She might resist further, but this is the point where she's testing your seriousness/persistence, and the guy who gets the girl is the guy who persists and eventually overcomes her resistance.

So, if this what they mean by the "friend zone", that's the prescription, yep. It's just simple resistance that's designed to be broken through. Direct, insistent and persistent.

The overlap with "action leadership" is interesting.

--------------

It's funny what my interests seem to be evolving towards...cars, women and money, lol. That's pretty steroetypical, isn't it? lol

 

[Dauntless]

Looks like the big rubber hose is the actual thing that carries the radiator fluid. So, I should be following that and not the thin metal tube.

I just keep coming back to that line after all this. My understanding of that probably goes back to age 11. I used a pressure tester in high school auto shop, never needed one in real life.

Friend zone involves such things as when this girl I tried to date in school found out her coworker lived across the street from me and got hI'm somewhere so she could talk about me. He was hoping this would be about him dating her, turned out it was about her keeping me on her 'Who to reconsider if she's still single approaching 30' list. Went so well for her that he became a mascot, the maitre'd, or major domo of the friend zone. Of course mascots always believe they're the boyfriend in waiting.

I think a ticket out of the friend zone is a lot more than $1,000. And I mean even athat NOT as berated women for greed, woman who look for stability, etc. look real hard at whether you own a street address or live at a license plate number.

Does it occur to you that words like "Action," "Persistence, " etc. really don't apply to you?

 

[swbluto]

Does it occur to you that words like "Action," "Persistence, " etc. really don't apply to you?

It's interesting,when I first came,I thought the laziness of all the Houstonians was something ridiculous compared to where I came from. But now I understand... the heat of the long houston summer(A good 5 months) forbids one from working outside during the excessively hot humid day, so the summer sets a habit of laziness. Now that the colder days are approaching, I just have to retrain myself when they come and not be like the rest of Houston that never really snaps out of it, lol.

As to things not affected by weather, like flirty females at particular venues, I think it definitely can.

And, I was recently reading that getting anything more than part-time hours at the houston HEBs is difficult... so these workers seem to have the same issue as where I came from: prevalent part-time minimum wage jobs limiting monthly pay. So, it's plausible that HEB chick was looking for a benefactor due to rent/living-expense pressures and she might've got evicted. I just don't really know. I thought that Houston was just doing so much better, but I guess it only seems that way around here because of all the wealthy retirees owning these 100 acre properties in the immediate area driving new vehicles.

 

[swbluto]

I think a ticket out of the friend zone is a lot more than $1,000.

I don't think it's strictly a monetary issue. But, stability-seeking behavior is more likely among those with unstable backgrounds (low pay / high rent areas especially).

look real hard at whether you own a street address or live at a license plate number.

Lol...shhh... don't tell my creditors, that's part of the plan, lol.

I honestly don't think girls really care. The unstable really care about stability, and everyone wants excitement/passion. Those looking to potentially start a family also really care about stability.

The seeming desperation of the HEB chick in sex'ing me right away... I think that was rooted in material desperation, and not the throes of passion. Because her urgency seemed more like desperation than passion and she might've inferred "has a place" from my mention of coming here for gardening opportunities. Now I'm kind of concerned about what might've happened to her and it's too bad she didn't let me know. I'm not in a good situation anyway to take on another person here anyway, so I guess it doesn't really matter. Just that I would've jumped through many hoops to help her if I had known she needed it and there was many hoops I could've jumped through at the time.

Young desperate about-to-be-homeless adult... her desperation seemed more like that than anything. Imagine the young-love-surviving-against-all-odds story that could've unfolded... Once in a lifetime.

So that 'looking into the distance imagining our future' look more than likely was exactly that. It seemed like a watershed moment with much gravitas / "that quiet drama".

 

[swbluto]

Okay, so it's apparently bad to skip breakfast and bad to go to bed hungry. I might surmise it's generally unhealthy to be hungry. Thinking about the extreme of the hungry, anorexia, they have a really high mortality rate due to heart failure and related complications.

http://nypost.com/2017/10/04/skipping-breakfast-heightens-risk-of-heart-attacks-study/

The study of 4,000 male and female volunteers in Spain (who were all free from cardiovascular or chronic kidney disease) found those skipping breakfast were 2.57 times more likely to have atherosclerosis.

https://greatist.com/health/it-bad-sleep-empty-stomach

And while some shy away from those nighttime munchies for fear of weight gain, studies suggest going to bed hungry can result in a loss of sleep and even cause the body to break down muscle mass overnight .

The common reason is cortisol. When blood sugar levels are low, cortisol is produced by the liver to increase blood glucose by converting fats and protein into blood sugar. Cortisol in turn also increases the rate of arthersclerotic production and impairs the immune system (the interaction between these two variables no doubt has an interesting story I can only guess at, since arthersclerosis is a known immunological problem.).

So that's why sleep is lost (cortisol interferes with sleep), muscle mass is lost (cortisol converts protein to glucose) and increases artherslcerosis (cortisol boosts arthersclerosis production) when one is hungry.

it's interesting thought to think cortisol converts heart tissue(protein) to blood glucose. That would imply the mechanism behind the shrinking hearts of anorexics, and would also suggest that chronic anxiety has a similar affect (shrinking heart). Can't find evidence on this, so maybe it doesn't.

So that widespread fear of hunger is a pretty healthy fear.

 

[Dauntless]

Young desperate about-to-be-homeless adult... her desperation seemed more like that than anything. Imagine the young-love-surviving-against-all-odds story that could've unfolded... Once in a lifetime.

So that 'looking into the distance imagining our future' look more than likely was exactly that. It seemed like a watershed moment with much gravitas / "that quiet drama".

You just wanna believe, eh?

Instead of imagining, why not just go down to divorce court and witness the daily grind of what REALLY happens in that case. I remember the couple that moved into my neighborhood and brought their marital strife with them. The problem was one sided, when they went to marriage counseling the wife was told she didn't need counseling, she needed a therapist, maybe even an analyst. So the husband was showing me their wedding pictures trying to talk about what a happy marriage it WAS. I asked him "Is there any pictures where she's SMILING?" He starts to argue that she's smiling in all of them, then he finally starts to really look at them for the first time. . . .

So much for just telling yourself to believe.

 

[swbluto]

Young desperate about-to-be-homeless adult... her desperation seemed more like that than anything. Imagine the young-love-surviving-against-all-odds story that could've unfolded... Once in a lifetime.

So that 'looking into the distance imagining our future' look more than likely was exactly that. It seemed like a watershed moment with much gravitas / "that quiet drama".

You just wanna believe, eh?

Instead of imagining, why not just go down to divorce court and witness the daily grind of what REALLY happens in that case. I remember the couple that moved into my neighborhood and brought their marital strife with them. The problem was one sided, when they went to marriage counseling the wife was told she didn't need counseling, she needed a therapist, maybe even an analyst. So the husband was showing me their wedding pictures trying to talk about what a happy marriage it WAS. I asked him "Is there any pictures where she's SMILING?" He starts to argue that she's smiling in all of them, then he finally starts to really look at them for the first time. . . .

So much for just telling yourself to believe.

Lol, well, there are people who are just generally unhappy. But, I'd say more often than not, they're usually unhappy in the context of other people in their daily existence / their daily environment. So, it's plausible that she wasn't really happy with him in particular. And, you know... that's one of things I wouldn't tolerate, unhappy people in my midst or, in particular, my unhappiness so that's pretty much guaranteed not to happen here because I've experienced the opposite and refuse to accept anything but. I'm just wise that way, the benefit of having a decade of adult experience behind me unlike possibly some of these younger ones (They can still be pretty wise, don't get me wrong, especially the fairly social females. And males.). I can recognize a potentially bad relationship,and I can recognize a potentially good one within a day or two.

Now the guy moving into YOUR neighborhood no doubt has focused exclusively on his work and excelled above all others with no doubt ignoring the relationship / her. So, that's an understandable complication of the kind of people you might readily come across, especially the younger ones.

Now, as to this HEB chick... we were both pretty happy. Granted, we really didn't talk much after we 'tied the knot', lol.... quiet drama explains the happening, things thereafter....she didn't talk much in my presence since I left her speechless. Actually, she was especially speechless after I nuzzled her.... uh huh... Man, I was just good at leaving her speechless. :lol:

Bedroom eyes left her speechless.
Nuzzling left her speechless.

All the acts of affection left her speechless, interesting.

Let's see if I can google image corelations here...

Just can't find much explaining this phenomenon. Maybe she was overwhelmed with emotion, leaving her speechless, after an act of affection. There we go, that's the explanation. All the acts of love just made her heart melt, leaving her speechless. So that goes onto show women want love, umhmmm.

All the acts of love also made her crazy for me, isn't that interesting.

 

[swbluto]

You know, I unconsciously take on a bit of swag when I get female attention. You know what else happens? My illegal neighbors take out their AR15 and launch a barrage of bullets when they see my walking down the road, lol. What do my neighbors have against me having some swag? lol. I swear I hear bullets going off every time I have it.

This elderly man in his 50s also at the post office mentioned, "You're here picking up chicks, huh?", lol. How was he was so perceptive? Maybe my neighbors are thinking the same thing, I'm picking up chicks, lol. And what the hell would they have against that? lol.

 

[DAND214]

As we said before, all talk and no action.
Only chick your gonna pick up with that attitude is the ones in the produce section

Keep talking, it's fun to read all this XXXXXXX??

Dan

 

[swbluto]

As we said before, all talk and no action.
Only chick your gonna pick up with that attitude is the ones in the produce section

Keep talking, it's fun to read all this XXXXXXX??

Dan

Well, I'll have you know I don't find a lot of chicks roaming through the forest here, you know?

I actually have to go where they hang out and it's definitely not at the closest grocery store because this is a rural "retiree county", lol.

So, that's a large part of the issue: I simply just don't come across them. And oh well.

It doesn't really matter, I don't have the fundamentals in place. Lots of money and an acceptable housing structure. I also need a second vehicle (I already see what a single vehicle with problems is doing to my psychological stability => bad for relationships). Those three factors = stability. So, right now I'm just practicing. Same with the vehicle, I'm practicing, getting good with them. I actually would've followed through with the HEB chick if the thief wasn't threatening to steal everything I got; I really don't know where that would've gone, though. Maybe a hotel room, I dunno, lol.

Anyway, I think it's wise I'm practicing and not committing myself right away. It's not wise to make a mistake that would harm me in the longrun.

So, right now my guidelines are:

Go for the hotties. These girls usually have good personalities, which is what mostly what makes them hot. Sure, good looks might've led to them being treated in such a way where they have a "good personality", but it's the good personality that matters. I wouldn't want an ugly person who's been treated wrong all their life and now has an ugly embittered personality.

And then, of course, be direct, insistent, persistent. In talking with girls, be visionary and project ambition and sell yourself off as a hot studmuffin who has absolutely no problems with girls, telling off all the past success you've had with them and all the girls hitting on you and how you're just so valuable. It's not strictly necessary (I didn't do this with the HEB chick), but IT DOES NOT HURT! lol.

 

[Dauntless]

Elderly starts mid-60's, so he was elderly or he was 50's.

Since when is anyone in my neighborhood focused on a career against all else?

And these 'Chicks' in the forest. They're actually, eh---well, it might be interesting to read about you messin' with some of them. Especially once the OTHERS come looking for her.

So I saw this movie in the original language and understood perfectly.

 

[Dauntless]

http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/05/health/why-women-cheat-partner/index.html

Women having affairs is up 40% eh? Its not me with them, I don't do married women.

 

[swbluto]

Came across the girl at the highschool I was new to. She was an exceedingly cute girl that got attention from lots of guys merely for the fact she was pretty, I think, and was all sorts of happy, reddish faced and giggly about it especially after getting said attention. After one of my loud 'not really interested' teasing remarks after one such flirtation with this hot guy passing by, she later complains that she hadn't had anything ever since I came and she's frustrated, and she later admits the last person she's had a "passion intervention" was with a random guy at a gas station.

Dang, there's a lot happening in this dream. Let's see if i can dissect it.

So she's doing it with random guys she meets in her everyday encounters. Didn't know that was really a thing, maybe situations like the HEB chick encounter are more common than I would historically suspect (pretty horny girl finds some random hottie to lay). I would expect it more often at parties, clubs and whatnot but I guess maybe it's not that uncommon. Granted, I wouldn't assume too much from a single dream, but with the way the HEB chick was acting (let's go find a spot to do it /RIGHT NOW/, then getting frustrated by the fact she has to work.)... I think it's probably more common than I'd think.

And, didn't really infer this while I was having the dream, but I think she's suggesting I should initiate something with her.

I wonder if that girl in my dream pretty much personified the HEB chick. Pretty girl getting lots of attention from guys, me personally overlooking said prettiness and not really noticing it until later when her real smile eventually emerges, even then I'm still not sure if she's 'pretty' or if it's just the smile. Whatever, it wasn't exactly something I was consciously noticing; I was noticing how fearless/confident and playful this girl was, and how confidently/naturally seductive this girl's voice was... and her risque flirting especially... lol...

So I think my ability to see past (not really notice, or not really focus) on a girl's prettiness might be an asset. If this is true... if it's true... I wonder why it'd be the case?

Anyway, just a hypothetical dream analysis.

Interesting choice of words she used, "passion intervention". Here's instances of this phrase I'm finding with google...

The Donna Karan tummycontrol tights caused a thankful passion intervention. They were impenetrable. 'Can you just take those off?' he asked. 'I think I have to

f you and your mate are in need of a passion intervention, consider setting the mood by watching a sexy movie together. While sex on screen

Seems like a rarely used phrase, but it's been used more than once, and one of them one time being used by a girl named "Jennifer Scott", which sounds american.

---------------

I'm thinking that dreams can be instructive. Or misleading, that's very possible.

Someone suspects that:

http://www.unclesirbobby.org.uk/faith.php

Maybe the main reason Christians don't study dreams is that the Bible dismisses many common dreams and warns against false and misleading dreams.

-----------------

I still think the HEB chick was materially desparate because her frustration and really thinking about how she was going to make it work out seemed a bit above and beyond than a girl looking to get laid. Then again... I just don't know... maybe some of these hoes really are desperate for dick. I wouldn't think that would've been a problem of hers, but maybe I'm the special one just for her, lol.

 

[swbluto]

http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/05/health/why-women-cheat-partner/index.html

Women having affairs is up 40% eh? Its not me with them, I don't do married women.

Ashley-madison has been an enabler. Same with Tinder. Saw that syphilis rates were up 21% thanks to the presumed "Tinder effect".

---------------------

Anyway, I started thinking about it...

I noticed when girls are coming full force at me like I'm some prey that's to be devoured, I start to panic. And then I start having nocturnal panic attacks, one of the most recent consisting of chest tightness and a "not quite there" feeling (discombobulation) that wore off within 10 seconds of walking around. I immediately stopped where that could've been going because that's one thing I was not having with the HEB chick, nocturnal panic attacks resembling heart attacks.

(With the adorable microcenter chick, I was having some weird fantasies with that. With her forcing herself on me, and me being quite reluctant with it, but still immensely enjoying it. I think the reluctance was more based on my not having a "stable situation" and not because of sexual repression in my toddler years, my mommy spanking me and making me eat soap because I was a 3 year old playing around with the neighborhood girls in trying to recreate scenes from the movies my dad was watching when mom was gone.)

So I started thinking about it... The difference between the HEB chick and these girls is those girls were chasing me and my mind was running like prey. The HEB chick however, wasn't chasing me, she was definitely being forceful with her flirtation, but she wasn't really 'chasing', instead I was the one initially chasing her and ... I never really felt like there was any kind of sustained chase anywhere. It was mostly a balanced gentle push-pull between us both. So, I think that's kind of the ideal. A balance, a mutual falling into each other.

Anyway, that chest tightness has become a more common phenomenon in the last year, started this year as far as I know. Typically happens at peak of performance (lasts 3-4 seconds, has happened once as far I know... was standing at that time.), but recently happened in the morning when I was having a tiny spate (happened over the course of 24 hours) of mini nocturnal panic attacks (Lasted 6-10 seconds).

-------------------

If only the electric lines were a little closer to me (i.e., not on the opposite side of the road), I might be tempted to do this at night, lol.

--------------------

Huh, well, second data point that girls care about WHERE you live. So, this is a confirmed trend.

They care about your financial wellbeing and they care about where you live. You might think that this is only true of the superficial chicks but, lol, this was supposedly one of those "deeper chicks" that cared about ideals and what not, but those two constants didn't change one iota.

Anyways, this is a confirmed trend. She wasn't really desirable in my opinion (She was anti-social in multiple ways (i.e., unfriendly, unsocial, non-helpful, bitter, condescending; has a history of anxiety/fearfulness. wasn't playful.)), so it didn't really matter to me what her particular mate evaluation criteria was, but it's generally indicative of females in general. This was a girl I once knew back in college, but having experienced many kinds of girls since in real life, I have a pretty good background to realize this isn't the kind of girl I want to be around, lol.

This particular location is ideal because it provides a good location for operating my business, really close to the post office and excellent climate/location/soil/etc. for planting crops. And, shallow wells are totally doable here. So it's great for business. I've seen a number of females in the area, though, attached to guys who obviously earn enough, so I get the impression that money/wealth is really the biggest factor.

Anyway, the local grocery got a new refrigeration machine in, and they're putting their fruits/veggies in. I put in the word they should put in quartered watermelons becuase I'd be a near daily customer then, lol.

Thankfully! Man, I'm really an influence on these people, which is good. I put in the word they should sell some fruit, they told me they lacked refrigeration and like 2 months later, they got a refrigeration machine in. Yeah baby! We're getting somewhere.

 

[swbluto]

I was noticing how fearless/confident and playful this girl was, and how confidently/naturally seductive this girl's voice was... and her risque flirting especially... lol...

So I think my ability to see past (not really notice, or not really focus) on a girl's prettiness might be an asset.

Rereading this and rolling my eyes. Oh yeah, I can overlook a girl's prettiness when they're brandishing their ass.....ets to me, lol. :lol: I totally see a girl for their deeper personality, uh huh, lol. She really had a great personality, energetic, enthusiastic and playful.

I swear to god how I seem to always describe her in the positive, and every other girl I've met in the negative... I think that might just mean I'm just hopelessly in love with her to the exclusion of everyone else which is quite sad for someone that I'm not likely to ever see again, lol. Chained our hearts in vain, ugg... lol

[youtube]fHwO9ahEo1Y[/youtube]

Wherever it's going, I'm gonna chase it
What's left of this moment, I'm not gonna waste it
Stranded together, our worlds have collided
This won't be forever, so why try to fight it?

We're beautiful now

Our worlds collided, I did not waste the moment, and she saw the most beautiful thing ever, and no, no one fought it. Having seen my exact facial expression in that girl's image I posted... I can't really tell now if she saw the most beautiful thing in my face or in a dream she might've witnessed. I just don't know, I have to admit, that girl looks effing beautiful and I can't stop myself from keep looking at it, lol, and I don't think it's because she's cute.

And, I only immediately sprung into this position after some initial reservation... because I felt a sudden surge in lust when she yelled at me in anger for having moved here. It was not premeditated and I had no idea what it looked like, it was an instinctive kneejerk reaction to that sudden feeling of lust that I just didn't hold myself back on.

 

[Dauntless]

Excuse me, that woman in your picture is scarier than the Huldra. Is she from the woods? The deeeeeep forest?

 

[swbluto]

Excuse me, that woman in your picture is scarier than the Huldra. Is she from the woods? The deeeeeep forest?

I agree, she could lose the makeup. It's funny that the webpage it's on describes how to create the "bedroom eyes" look with makeup, when it's everything but her makeup, lol.

The deeeeep forest, east Texas almost Louisiana. Regularly see properties going for $800 in that area (near Jasper,TX), it's a pretty poor area.

---------------------

Reading some of these responses from Millenials on the message boards... I seem to be doing A OK, lol. It's kind of hard to believe that when I'm subconsciously comparing myself to these 50/60/70 year olds who own the nearby properties, but then I start reading some of these messages from millenials regarding their lifestyle... and I'm like... I seem to be doing OK, lol. Our spending habits are pretty similar, however, because I've learned how easy it is to suddenly be really uncomfortably close to 0. I'm having significant reservation about spending $700 on the housing structure, since I know it'll bring my balances down and there's no real guarantee my assets will move like I plan to restore the balance. I get the impression assets are slow to move.

 

[Dauntless]

https://www.era.com/property/804-HUNTERWOOD-DR-JASPER-TX-75951/78961369/detail

This is unreal. If I had any way to actually take possession. . . .

Why don't you just move here?

 

[swbluto]

I'm pretty sure that's per month. See that all the time on landwatch.com.

Now, if you want to see real unbelievable, check out the houses just north of birmingham, alabama. $30,000 for a typical 4Br/3Ba 2500 sq ft. $120,000 family home. The only issue is you have to accept you're living smack dab in the middle of Dixie Alley, lol.

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https://thoughtcatalog.com/melanie-berliet/2015/07/13-ways-guys-you-probably-shouldnt-date-justify-going-to-a-strip-club/

“My girlfriend gets tired of having sex with me. She won’t admit it. But it’s true, particularly after a long day of work. My urges, though, never subside. To borrow a line from Dexter, my sex drive is my ‘dark passenger’ and I literally see pink everywhere and I have to find a way to release it. Otherwise, I’ll go crazy and just think about sex until my head explodes. I think my girlfriend would also break up with me because she would feel way too much like a sex doll. I’m doing us all a favor. I know no one will believe me, but my desire for women is like a disease.

I'm not going to question his judgment since he's the one with the girlfriend, but that reasoning seems kind of dubious. But, then again, I think maybe there's some girls who don't like feeling like sex dolls but... I don't know... it might be just the particular girl I was talking to (Hoe wanting some dick), but they don't really seem to mind being used as sex dolls. I get this impression as they long as they mirror the horniness of the guy as he unapolegetically claims that booty like the boss gorilla(Because a female's sex drive does not exist in a vacuum, it can be driven, just like a males. I would say it /especially/ can be driven.), there's really no issues.

Anyway, was just curious what a strip club felt like. I'm assuming males go to strip clubs to feel "turned on" with that pervasive warm feeling, I'm just assuming. I was hoping to find someone who'd describe the sensations/feelings/atmosphere involved but I guess I'll have to assume it.

Wait... just had a eureka moment. Maybe that's why them call them "hot"... they make you feel hot, lol. WOW, just figured it out, lol.

So the girl whom I was talking to felt like a bitch in heat, huh. Well, maybe I was making her feel hot, that'd be a pretty good guess.

 

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Hmmm... reading about PTSD. The "What was once a safe place is a place of anxiety".

You know what? The very first nocturnal panic attack I had was when my roommate at Naval Nuclear Power Training Command went into the bathroom at 1 a.m. and screamed his bloody head off with a death-curdling cry (because he got the shit beat out of him at a bar for a fight he started), which in turn woke me up in an instant panic that took like a good hour to calm down. I had to go visit my friend, mc...something... (mckinney?)... just to have to someone to console with because it was so traumatic and my mind was racing in pure panic.

Than that was start of nocturnal panic attacks, yep, sure was whenever I went to sleep with any anxiety on the mind. Seemed especially strange since I didn't suffer from panic attacks during the daytime (Which apparently most sufferers do).

I guess I can thank the military for that PTSD with my bed/sleeping, frockers!

For a while, I thought it was a surefire sign of impending heart problems. Nope, it was a dick roommate making my bed a place of fear.

Anyway, just wondering about that because I was getting discomforting nocturnal panic attacks out of the blue when I was chatting with a girl. So, I immediately stopped chatting with her and ended that. Which might've been a good thing actually if she was making me anxious. That does make sense actually, because I was feeling weirdly insecure, a feeling I had not known since the first few years of college. Anxious and insecure... hmmm... those seem to go together.

Lookie here, google provides an answer:

"Insecure Anxious Attachment"

https://www.psychalive.org/understanding-ambivalent-anxious-attachment/

Children who have an anxious attachment often grow up to have preoccupied attachment patterns. As adults, they tend to be self-critical and insecure. They seek approval and reassurance from others, yet this never relieves their self-doubt. In their relationships, deep-seated feelings that they are going to be rejected make them worried and not trusting. This drives them to act clingy and feel overly dependent on their partner. These people’s lives are not balanced: their insecurity leaves them turned against themselves and emotionally desperate in their relationships.
Adults with preoccupied attachment patterns are often feel desperate and assume the role of the “pursuer” in a relationship. They often have positive views of other people, especially their parents and their partner, and generally have a negative view of themselves. They rely heavily on their partner to validate their self-worth. Because they grew up insecure based on the inconsistent availability of their caregivers, they are “rejection-sensitive.” They anticipate rejection or abandonment and look for signs that their partner is losing interest.

Hmmm... I don't know if that's actually what was going on, lol, but she definitely had the kind of personality that would likely create those kind of feelings. "Feeling unwanted". This is polar opposite to the HEB chick, who made me feel really wanted. So, it's just as well I recognized a potentially bad relationship and cut it off immediately. Because not feeling unwanted is heaps better than feeling unwanted, lol.

This is what I told her too, HEB chick made me feel wanted (And by implication,she did not). So I rejected her accordingly and she acted upset. Sorry girl, I'm just wise to know how I'm feeling and how it compares to how others make me feel, and you just don't match. She wanted my possessions, she didn't want me. The HEB chick wanted me and I don't know if she wanted my possessions... she might have wanted that as well, lol.

This girls' anti-social and condescending nature seems like it'd help create a "feeling unwanted" relationship. So, yep, I'm getting socially wise. Being socially wise with choosing a potential romantic partner is no doubt a good thing, especially when my happiness is at stake.