Buying forest land, implementing solar

[DAND214]

Okay, removed the front grill of the van, and cleaned off the ladybug'd radiator with a wire brush. Unlike the "power washer" and "air blower" methods suggested, this did the trick just as well and didn't take that long either. Hopefully the van should stop overheating now, lol. I noticed radiator fluid was leaking from the front likely because it was overheating, so I think I might need to add more fluid; I will if it continues to overheat.

Anyway, it's good I took care of it at the first sign of real trouble instead of blowing it (As soon as the temp gauge hit the "overheating" zone, i immediately slowed down to pull over to let it cool.). Because, an overheating engine could lead directly to a blown headgasket, which essentially kills the engine/vehicle.

Anyway, it's interesting that ladybugs could cause a blown headgasket. Never really fully understood the conditions under which blown headgaskets occur other than "overheating engine", but that made it pretty obvious one possible way.

----------------------------------------

I think about the atmosphere the HEB girl experience created.

It felt like I was talking to... someone I was really felt like I was at home with. A deeply comfortable feeling, like a pervasively warm deep feeling. The vast majority of people don't have that kind of effect. Anyway, I don't know if this just happens to be one of her personality characteristics (A "warm" person), or we just meshed so well psychologically, it had that kind of effect, but it was enveloping and so hard to ignore. I don't exactly know if this was before or after I made my move... actually... I'd say it was there shortly after we started talking... I think probably as soon as she bit her lip... lol.

I'm not really sure if there's a common adjective for that characteristic. "Down to earth"? I don't know if I considered her down to earth, lol. Honestly, I really have no idea by what people mean by "Down to earth" other than possibly "Really boring".

So your gonna wait till it overheats to even check the fluid level.

YOU are as bad with cars as with women!!!

Dan

 

[Dauntless]

So your gonna wait till it overheats to even check the fluid level.

YOU are as bad with cars as with women!!!

Dan

SO?

O Never really fully understood the conditions under which blown headgaskets occur other than "overheating engine", but that made it pretty obvious one possible way.

Do you know how thermal expansion works? Differential temperatures, the uneven pressure? If the engine is running too lean, there's no unburned gas to carry heat out of the chamber. The cooling system alone does not carry away all the heat, nor does the oil drop it all into the oil pan. But if you take any of that away, the chamber just gets hotter. Steel does not conduct heat nearly so well as copper or aluminum, so evening it out all over isn't a possibility.

I'm not really sure if there's a common adjective for that characteristic. "Down to earth"? I don't know if I considered her down to earth, lol. Honestly, I really have no idea by what people mean by "Down to earth" other than possibly "Really boring".

And not down to earth makes an entertaining companion? Down to earth as in boring you with a van that has all its' fluid and doesn't provide the amusement of blowing up on the way and stranding you. I guess it's all a matter of what bores you.

 

[swbluto]

Okay, removed the front grill of the van, and cleaned off the ladybug'd radiator with a wire brush. Unlike the "power washer" and "air blower" methods suggested, this did the trick just as well and didn't take that long either. Hopefully the van should stop overheating now, lol. I noticed radiator fluid was leaking from the front likely because it was overheating, so I think I might need to add more fluid; I will if it continues to overheat.

Anyway, it's good I took care of it at the first sign of real trouble instead of blowing it (As soon as the temp gauge hit the "overheating" zone, i immediately slowed down to pull over to let it cool.). Because, an overheating engine could lead directly to a blown headgasket, which essentially kills the engine/vehicle.

Anyway, it's interesting that ladybugs could cause a blown headgasket. Never really fully understood the conditions under which blown headgaskets occur other than "overheating engine", but that made it pretty obvious one possible way.

----------------------------------------

I think about the atmosphere the HEB girl experience created.

It felt like I was talking to... someone I was really felt like I was at home with. A deeply comfortable feeling, like a pervasively warm deep feeling. The vast majority of people don't have that kind of effect. Anyway, I don't know if this just happens to be one of her personality characteristics (A "warm" person), or we just meshed so well psychologically, it had that kind of effect, but it was enveloping and so hard to ignore. I don't exactly know if this was before or after I made my move... actually... I'd say it was there shortly after we started talking... I think probably as soon as she bit her lip... lol.

I'm not really sure if there's a common adjective for that characteristic. "Down to earth"? I don't know if I considered her down to earth, lol. Honestly, I really have no idea by what people mean by "Down to earth" other than possibly "Really boring".

So your gonna wait till it overheats to even check the fluid level.

YOU are as bad with cars as with women!!!

LOL, I never really thought of myself as "bad with women" and I honestly have no idea where that's coming from. I'm bad with people I have no interest in and people I dislike and I don't consider that a handicap - I'm not going to pretend I like someone because that is an unsatisfying waste of my time. Jeez, my friends back in nuke school envied my ability to have these long affectionate talks with other girls /that I liked/, and a girl suggested I should propose to her, and this HEB girl fell under my spell and was begging me to accept her and.. and I really don't have a history of problems in ways I would consider "problems". Sure, maybe I'm no player,but I'm also not really playing the field to the full extent a player might (I.e., I'm not really "searching" and probably not tapping into people networks that players might.), so that's somewhat expected. And really, my abilities with women fluctuates with how well I'm doing financially, so it's been pretty good recently, but I'm not looking. I don't really have the infrastructure in place for cohabitation and that's a common expectation for my age range. And, I consider procuring fulltime employment as being important in the overall scheme things - just read, for example, that in this economy, only guys with high-paying jobs are considered marriageable and there's not as many of those in my generation as previous generations (real wages are down 20% from the baby boomers, and student loans and medical insurance are up some 400-1000%), so there's been a significant decrease in marriage rates but a significant increase in out-of-wedlock-births.

Anyway, this lentil diet appears to be effective in boosting my savings by leaps and bounds. Seems like with the coconut/rice/lentils I eat in the morning time, the less hungry I am throughout the day for bananas.

Lemons seem strangely instrumental in reducing my appetite and making me feel noticeably happier and alert.
---------------

As to the vehicle, I started driving it again and it started overheating again (It never got to the "hot zone" but it was getting very close), so I put it down to 45 mph and crawled into the nearest gas station. Checked the coolant and sure enough, I was low on coolant. So I bought and added some more coolant and /bam/, the temps returned back to normal and it was no longer overheating. Checked under the vehicle, and it was no longer leaking. So, here's hoping it'll stay that way.

I theorize...

Lovebugs on radiator -> Engine overheats -> Coolant overflows and leaks -> Lower coolant levels -> Overheats more easily.

I removed the lovebugs with the wirebrush and replaced the coolant, so hopefully the vicious cycle has been halted.

The lovebugs were a lot worse a week ago, it was like a 2-day population explosion for some unknown reason.

It only went into the "hot zone" once, and the "check gages" thing came on, and that alerted me I should fix the problem and I just did this morning.

Had no idea that lovebug swarms could lead to clogged radiators, overheating engines and blown headgaskets.

------------------------------

Okay, just did a demographic analysis of the Kroger workers at Tuesday 11 a.m. and here's what I observed.

Relatively fit 20-30 year old caucasian males.
Porcine beyond hell 20-30 something caucasian females.
Relatively fit 50 and 60 year olds.

I'm just wondering, where are the thinner 20-30 something females? Are they all married and tending to children? Like, was the HEB chick symptomatic of the overall trend of young girls fishing for a husband in this area, whom they have no problems finding (I maybe could've been one of them...), who then take them home and keep them sidelined?

Or do the 20-30 year old females in this area freaking explode in weight as their boyfriends fatten them up with all the food and going out to eat they can eat in their early 20s, so there's relatively few of them? (Going out to eat is big business in Houston, HIGH discretionary income and restaurants EVERYWHERE)

I think I chose the wrong city for finding attractive girls, lol.

Driving thru Tucson, Arizona (Or somewhere in new mexico), I had no problems finding fit caucasian females. I was passing by one of them, and I was eyeing her, and she was eyeing me as I passed by (She could sense the optimism and ambition in the path I was following; lots of girls could at the time and they were drawn like moths to the bugzapper. She could also probably see I was looking at her with lustful eyes.), and had I not been just "travelling thru", there's a not-too-insignificant chance that could've gone somewhere if I pursued it. She had that eye like "I want to get to know you". This girl was traveling with her parents, so it is not unlikely she was one of the many west coast millenials living with their parents, and maybe she was open to the idea of some attractive guy with a mission snatching her up.

She might've eventually posted to the W4M section on craigslist in Tucson, Arizona with the seen-often-enough ad of "Our eyes locked and I thought we had something special. email me with your shirt color so I know it's you.", lol. (More than likely, not... I think...?... those w4m ads on craigslist get started somewhere...)

I ideally imagine myself taking home an attractive female, then keeping her on a healthy diet comprised of many years of research,experimentation and experience, and thus keeping her healthy and attractive for much of her life. Granted, this also would likely increase her appeal in this particular area, so she might be more likely to cheat as a result (I'm not blind that lots of attractive women are opportunists and there's not that many attractive women here...), but I get the sense that infidelity tends to be a personality trait as opposed to "The fault of the other partner", so that's probably not a significant trend.

------------------

You know... I started thinking...

I've had good experiences with looking at women with lustful eyes. I'm thinking maybe girls like it. Not that I'm going to go out of my way just to stare down girls like a creep, but you know, passing them by, I might just look at them for 2-3 seconds while they look at me, and we might just turn around and catch each others' glimpse. And what would happen after that? oh, jeez... huh... well... I'm not thinking that far ahead, lol. I guess maybe you could introduce yourself and "strike up a conversation". Those "conversation starters" that apparently every preschool kid should learn as a necessary social skill according to some infographic.

It seems like to find younger attractive female customers... you tend to find them in the chic parts of town. Like the HEB where I found the HEB chick, the HEB I no longer go to because it's 24 miles away vs 11 miles for Krogers.

That's the thing though... I didn't look at the HEB chick and think "this is the girl for me"... I didn't think much of her honestly other than "she acts a bit weird compared to all the other girls"..."she looks like she's trying too hard"... so how would I spot this kind of girl in a crowd, especially when they're not entertaining an audience? I really have no idea. I think the only way you could really find someone like that is the get to know people and mingle with friends and friends of friends and eventually you'd find /that girl/.

You might also find them in bars, clubs and parties. Seems like a high productivity kind of place for starting relationships according to research. Lots of people, females and males alike, go there with that hope and expectation. Sure enough, my parents met in a small town dance club.

Dating sites seem like another approach. I just don't know if i'd find "the heb chick" on a dating site. She kind of seems like the type that'd be more likely to be at a party than sitting at home on a dating website.

Then again... I don't really know... I didn't get a solid fix on personality... the only consistent personality trait that seems relevant in this matter was she was always saying something so she wasn't shy. That might indicate a party atmosphere. Then again, she seemed emotionally transparent and not particularly machievellian/sophisticated (Then again, maybe she's good at appearing that way... lol), so I don't know if she had the personality for a party.
-------------

OH MY GOD, I'M GETTING SWARMED WITH ORDERS. I guess this means I need to end this break I'm taking from work sooner rather than later... lol... this is my 2nd day of "the break", lol.

-------------

This guy based out of London was talking about "People are having sex here like bonobo monkeys, it's ridiculous!" back in 2009, lol. I wonder if there's any truth to that, Londoners have more sex than say Dallas people.

-----------d---

And... seems like I've been getting impotent more frequently lately and I really don't know why. Maybe it suggests underlying heart problems. seems like i had a string of those for 4 days in the morning time the day before yesterday.

---------------

Nope, no problems today. Only thing different is that I've had 4 bananas so far today and... well... I did pretty much do 2 laps around the entire krogers store. Normally i'd have twice as much carbs by now. Maybe this suggests I could trim back my carb consumption... hmmm...

I did start consuming the coconut yesterday, maybe it's been having next day effects.
----------------
Anyway, this HEB girl... I think I figured it out...

Why she acted like nothing was holding her back. wasn't shy, whatever whim came to her, she spoke.

She probably got plenty of male attention. mmmhhmmmmm...

I noticed I tend to be more like that when I get female attention, so I figure the same is probably true vice versa. girls are empowered by male attention, guys are empowered by female attention.

So I probably wasn't the first to pay her attention. But, I was probably the first (or the few?) to break through her "bitch wall". The wall she uses to keep out the unworthy/unballsy, a necessary wall considering the numerous suitors. Maybe that's why I felt empowered to make a bold move, because the bitchiness told me she was a highly desirous challenge that needed conquering.

And that squares away with my assessment of her being a "high value" female, and probably why I can't stop talking about her, lol. This "high value" girl, and she became mine, lol. A trophy girlfriend, if there was one. And that's probably why the fantasies were so enjoyable... she was a highly desirable girl that just made you so f'ing horny.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Trophy%20Girlfriend

Trophy Girlfriend

A young, beautiful, playmate type woman who is extremely gorgeous and model-like. She dates older rich men for money and security. This couple could also be known as a Gold Digger and a Sugar Daddy.

Interesting, I suspected she was looking for a sugar daddy, because she definitely seemed like she was looking and interviewing every guy in that line. And she seemed greatly affected by where she presumed you lived.

That could explain her voluptuous reaction to my adamant gaze, she was just "that kind of girl"(sexy girl), I guess.

I suspect she would've submitted to me regardless of that, just because I /moved/ her. But, it's unlikely she'd move in.

So maybe that guy in my dream was right, "She was the beautiful daughter of Xanthes.", lol.

it's interesting too because I can't really convince myself I thought she was stunningly beautiful. She just acted super sexy, not that she "looked like it", lol. She did look pretty, though. But, that really didn't seem to be her most striking feature, it was her loving-life holding-nothing-back personality, her seductive voice and that super sexy flirting, wow... bit my hand when she bit her lip, smiled slyly and turned around for my pleasure, lol. You know how many times I've bit my hand in response to a girl? NEVER. First time ever.

I might be looking long and hard finding a girl to replace her.
--------------

wow, finding a lot of social insight into girls and their motivations/driving-forces at the party girl article: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=party%20girl

Suspect that the kind of people contributing to this article tend to go to parties and not unlikely have a better understanding of people,
especially the types commonly seen at parties. I found this insightful:

Different from a girl who will sleep with random men for favors, as that is a whore and different from a girl who has low self-esteem and will sleep with anyone who gives her attention, as that is a slut.

Hmmm... well then... maybe the HEB chick was a slut. *scratches head*

It was a suspicion of mine. I do seem to have a knack for gravitating to/attracting sluts.

Something so deeply satisfying about a girl so desperate for your attention/love, willing to do anything for it.

That tone of desperation when she first initiated the conversation... yes... maybe that should've been the clue. Especially in combination with the "trying too hard" I was previously seeing.

This in combination with her emotional transparency and lack of guile/machievalian characteristics, suggests a basis for low self esteem.

I don't like the liars/manipulative girls, anyway (which is a good percentage of them), so this doesn't really seem like a downside characteristic to me. A girl who's easy to read is refreshing in the sea of liars/manipulators. [It's strange, it doesn't seem like I'm encountering as many lying females as I did when in my earlier 20s. Are they being more honest with my current personality, I wonder? More 'trusting'? I wonder why now and not before. Then again... I haven't exactly talked to a lot of attractive younger single females because there's not a whole lot of them here. Most Houston females seem fat, the attractive ones seem to be either lesbian or carrying around babies. I did actually see a number of fit looking youthful females in the chic parts of town, like "1488"/egypt area where there's a lot of new upscale retail development. It doesn't seem like you find a lot of them in this particular part of the Houston complex, the younger ones seem predominately fat for some reason.]

http://www.ign.com/boards/threads/i-mean-come-on-would-you-really-marry-a-slut.454565320/

I mean come on, would you really marry a "slut" ?

Sluts themselves aren't turnoffs for me, however they always have awful personalities which is a turnoff.

So sad but true, and I keep loving them. Sigh...

Hmmm... One guy says they have awful personalities, the other guy says he loves them. wtf gives?

If the HEB chick was a slut, she definitely did not have an "awful personality".

I've met these so-called sluts in the past, and yes... the one in particular I remember of did have a feckless personality, a sort of "resigning from life" quality to her. She was also a bit nasally and flat-toned in her voice. This wasn't necessarily common among nuke school females, seems like the commonality among nuke school females were ... awkward and/or geeky females. Many were "fighters" and some were pretty friendly. I don't recall seeing a short-tempered nuke school female... hmmm... I'm not sure why not. I wonder if bootcamp beat that personality characteristic out of people? Lol.

I told my close nuke school friend of her suggesting I should propose to her, and he definitely was a bit hesitant to recommend that, lol. Unrecommendation is definitely what I got from him, and I also didn't want to. I never felt anything for her, but she gave good blowjobs.

The HEB chick was definitely none of that. I mean the personality characteristics... not necessarily her frequent activities... She definitely was not resigning from life and her voice was... just about perfect I guess, lol. How would I describe her voice... at times... seductive, desperate,excited,joyous,falsetto,enthusiastic... she pretty much covered the range.

 

[swbluto]

Starting construction in about 13 days from now. Critical to finish the front gate by then to minimize construction area theft. Having experienced and having witnessed theft in action, a fence is definitely critical for this area.

And, this morning, woke with feeling like I was out of breath for a split second. Then became tired in an hour from then, took a short nap,woke my self up to continue working, and woooahhhhh... that subtle but definite chest pressure and the feeling like I wasn't quite there mentally for a good 10 minutes or so.... unsettling. I'm aware of what this suggests, cardiac output is down for some reason. Clots and arthersclerosis being a worst-case scenario cause, heart failure being second worst, but I suppose there could be other more innocuous and "easily" remediable causes (hypoglycemia, insufficient minerals[potassium,magnesium,sodium seem to be the most significant], disrupted circadian rhythms.).

--------------------------------

I thought about it.
Working out versus whacking the shit out of trees with an axe.

While I'm sure working out would improve some psychological characteristics, I don't think it'd be nearly as fulfilling as making tall trees fall under your man power. Maybe the lack of 'hand impact" with working out has something to do with that... yes... seems like breaking rocks has the same kind of "fulfillment", though apparently that's because of the witnessed result(broken rock, fallen tree) moreso than the "hand impact" I would think. I still think the hand impact nature of axing trees has a lot to do with fulfillment and making you feel like a bad motherfuck*; I definitely know it expands the arteries. Feet impact from walking/running, arm impacts from axing trees or smashing rocks with a sledgehammer, all seem to expand the arteries, arm just happens to expand the brachial artery which is a major heart artery.

----------------------

You know that article talks about 'just leaving' instead of asking for her number, leaves her wondering.

Coincidentally that's what I did.

BUT... you know what... she already "became" my girlfriend by the time I was leaving, so maybe that wasn't so appropriate. A caring boyfriend might want to stay in contact with their girlfriend, so maybe ask for a number or ask for a time to meet after work.

I think she recognized I was leaving her, and she rather slyly "cut me off" to both appease the next customer she was to interview (By suggesting I was a complete stranger with no relationship to her) and to attract my attention to her overt exaggerated flirtation with the next customer, to make me jealous and "secure my commitment". It took me a while to realize the totality of her action there, and oh, was it a bit sly. I could so easily see through her intention though, because she couldn't help saying it without a dreamy sigh intonation, lol, and that glow and smug smile she had, I knew she was mine if I pursued it.

------------------------

It's interesting read things like this on urbandictionary. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bitch+wall

Bitch Wall

A defense mechanism for women where they give a guy the cold shoulder without giving him a chance. A woman rejects a man based on superficial characteristics and refuses to be nice and get to know him.

This is about right. But, as my experience proves, you're SUPPOSED TO SMASH THROUGH THAT BITCH WALL and shut down her defenses. I did this making my move (passionate love gaze) and persisting with it without letting up. That bitch wall came down so freaking fast and she was begging for my acceptance and eating out of my hands, lol. It's funny how the tables so quickly reversed.

She might say no because of some trumped reason... like employment (where you work, your position, etc.), where you live, or whatever bullshit reason. Your job as a man is to say "NO BITCH, YOU'RE MINE" and not taking no for an answer.

Granted, she might not yield and she might get violent... at some point, you should be wise enough to realize she's not budging. This one girl became violent because I think she was engaged (Had the ring finger ringed), lol. I'm trying to remember what exactly I did... I think I just looked at her for a few seconds and she got violent, lol. That was definitely no "passionate love gaze" or anything... just sustained looking, lol.

----------------------

Yeah, something feels wrong today. Nausea and subtle aching back/chest pain during the peak performance. I might be going downhill, as much as I don't like that idea.

 

[Dauntless]

If you're getting all these orders and being distracted By all the work on the ranch and the sluts chasing you, how do the find time to respond and edit? That's a lot of text you're spewing and maintaining.

 

[swbluto]

If you're getting all these orders and being distracted By all the work on the ranch and the sluts chasing you, how do the find time to respond and edit? That's a lot of text you're spewing and maintaining.

Sluts are only chasing me when I go grocery shopping. 1 hour every 3-4 days.
Working on the "ranch": 2 hours at the end of the day, if that (Currently with the hot temps).

And, I'm a software engineer by trade and my programs automate my business, so I literally have to put in like 30 minutes of labor every day.

And, so that's why I have so much freetime.

I'm looking forward to full time employment, so I have wages and business income making up my total income. In the longterm, I might have rent coming in too, so I hope to be making lots of dough in the longterm.

wages, automated business income and rent. Sounds like a recipe for a pretty glamorous lifestyle. Too bad I can't fully enjoy it in my younger years. :lol:

i might going on European vacations in a couple years, though, so I can't say I'd be doing too badly all things considered. Enjoying europe and mediterranean cruises at Age 32/33 doesn't seem "too late" by any means. Of course, this is assuming I don't lose the health lottery in the meantime. Signs are pointing to some bad acid reflux or heart failure. [Well... you know what... I did actually have some really bad acid reflux last night (Acidic foods greatly worsened it)... so it seguing into today shouldn't be that surprising...]

A girl/wife may or may not sap my ability to accumulate wealth. On one hand, it'd likely make me more persistent and ambitious, but on the otherhand, depending if she was working and her consumption rate, it might be a net gain or significant net loss. Research tells me, though, it'd greatly reduce my homocysteine levels by upto 70% and subsequent cardiovascular risks, and bloodpressure would go down by some 6-10 points. All things considered, if I had the option, it might be wise.

-----------------

I still don't really know if she was slut, or a bombshell looking for a sugar daddy. She was /really/ good at flirting, though... so... a slut is definitely a possibility. She's just one of the happier sexier sluts I've seen, I guess.

I could see myself falling for a sexy slut (I have before, actually...hhmmm...).

The two aren't mutually exclusive either.

This one girl I knew, she was also pretty good at creating that deeply comfortable warm atmosphere, and she married this one guy who joined the army for the $100,000 enlistment bonus due to the Iraq war. Despite her insisting "It wasn't like that"[By that, I'm pretty sure she means he, likely empowered by his own feeling of wealth, went after her hot sexiness and she submitted... a common tale I'm absolutely sure.], so there can be definitely overlap between gold-digging and sexy sluts. One of the first things she started doing upon expressing interest was seeking monetary assistance with her loans. So, she was definitely a money-seeking sexy slut.

OMG,you know what... oh... that HEB chick was exactly like that girl at times in terms of her "affected affectionate greeting behavior", yes, but she didn't make loan repayment one of the terms likely because she didn't have any, lol. She might've been still in highschool as much as I know [Though that seems pretty odd in hindsight since she was definitely "working the crowd"]

I can't really say she looked like a bombshell at any time except... during her voluptuous dramatic reaction.But.... oh.....she might've been a bombshell, I just don't really know. I didn't personally think she was a bombshell, at least it wasn't my first thought seeing her. She looked like an ordinary female at a distance.

-----------------------------

standard single story home construction material costs, estimate. Brought upto standard.

8wx12lx8h frame + floor frame + osb 7/16 sheathing + door+window = $600

side panels + wallwrap = $700.

pitched roof = $400. (Guessing)

Drywall = $150

carpet padding + carpet = $150

Paint = $50

So entire cost for 100 sqft is $1910, let's roundup to $2000/100sft.

So a 2000 sq ft. single story home ("standard home") would be roughly $40,000 in material costs, or marginally lower than that since the side-paneling and window/door costs would be lower than implied.

So, I'm estimating $20/sq. ft. in material costs. What do other estimates say?

http://www.homeadvisor.com/cost/architects-and-engineers/build-a-house/

This place suggests an average of $150/sq.ft. and at the lowend of $100/sq.ft. for custom houses.

They also include wiring,plumbing,insulation, interior trim and HVAC in their estimates, which I did not include. Interior trim and insulation seems like the only possibly really necessary things to include in my estimate for a "standard house". Wiring could be electrical wires, possibly hidden by wall conduit, and plumbing is not strictly necessary though tending to grey water basins for running water and RV toilet like systems would be required at a minimum [I don't have running water currently, my water mostly comes from a 7 gallon drinking water tank.].

---------------------

Well, shiz.... I used to be an INTP and now it looks like I'm an ENTP according to https://www.blogthings.com/howrareisyourpersonalityquiz/ , lol. (Short accurate myer briggs)

I was wondering about that because the predictions about marriage based on personality type at https://www.yahoo.com/style/youll-get-married-based-myers-briggs-type-203817407.html sounded like some bullshiiiit for my personality type, INTP.

The person I love just simply has to understand my theorizations, lol. Yeah, no, I don't think so. Oh jeez, I didn't stand their testing the HEB chick's capacity for my theorizations, lol. The moment I'm explaining theorizations to someone is decidedly the moment I no longer consider them a romantic interest.

It's interesting to wonder when the change happened, from INTP to ENTP. I suspect the navy was probably instrumental, a highly social environment compared to many civilian environments.

ENTP

You’re a natural flirt and tend to charm others — but you’re also better at understanding others’ feelings than you are your own. Sometimes, you’ll even think you’re head over heels when your spark is destined to fizzle. You’ll fall in like a lot, but you’ll only fall in forever-love when you meet someone who engages your mind fully, allowing you to play, letting you explore, and making you think in ways you never thought possible.

I'm not sure how much I agree with that,but the first sentence fragment almost seems like it's been fitting for the last couple months.

Manipulating a few of the questions because it's a bit half/half, it looks like my secondary personality type is ESTJ.

ESTJs keep marriage as an afterthought for a long time. It’s not that you’re not open to love, it just takes a while before you care enough to edit your life plan to accommodate. However, you’re reasonable and rational in the sense that you see no reason to prevent a long-term commitment when you find someone who inspires you to be the best version of yourself. In that case, you’ll happily (and carefully) set a wedding date and call the planner.

Hmmm... there seems to be some validity to the emboldened part. No one has inspired me to be 'the best version of myself' except for the HEB chick, and marriage was definitely not off the table. Not exactly one of those things I'd be pushing right away... but I saw some potential. It's strange, she seems to be the only person in my entire life that really pushed me in that way, and I've had girlfriends before so that is the strange thing. I wonder why. was it because i had this notion that this was the beginning of a family?

granted, she is also the first person I've used the passionate love gaze on to that extent/seriousness.

It almost seems like I could sense her expectations, and I felt compelled to match them. mmmhmmmm. And what did she expect? The absolute best, mmmhmmm.

---------------------------

I've heard that sentiment "girls care about dick size" as if it's the requirement for sex.

All I have to say is that is some bullshit. Sexual tension and arousal leads to sex, not dick size. Granted, I suppose in some cases, talking of dick size could lead to sexual arousal,but I really doubt it's among the most effective ways except for the whoriest of whores.

Now a girl using dick size as a bitch wall, lol. That'd be an objection that's fun to overcome.

-----------------------------

This almost seems true. With the tone of voice the HEB chick was using when I was departing, it definitely sounded like "I love you". And... ohhhh.... you just don't know how much that pulled at my heartstrings. It's like when a dog sits there and licks so affectionately except... you're hearing it... so it's like... far more significant. ESPECIALLY, when it's coming from someone you really f'ing like.

When was the last time anyone really meant "I love you" in my life so far?

...
...
...
...

-Well, youknow, the friendly awkward california nukeschool girl seemed like she did. Except she was already in a relationship with the class leader, so that didn't go anywhere.
-So did the slut, but I'm not exactly sure how much she actually liked my personality beyond my affected body language. She seemed to have financial motivations, which I somewhat distrust.
-Then before that... well, there was that online girl onetime. It didn't seem like that was characterized by love, that seemed like a competition between peers more than anything forthe most part. But, there were times when she appeared really attracted to me for some unknown reason. I'd say we felt like friends, I was friendzoned much of the time, but occasionally she'd relinquish, likely because she was between unmentioned boyfriends in real life, lol.
-College, the dark years. I actually flirted quite a bit as a freshman but i didn't really know how to progress anything at the time. I didn't really understand how you became someone's boyfriend for example or how you would even move in that direction. It was something I was pretty clueless about. I didn't know... for example... "Go for the pussy, get a girlfriend as a result" thing. I thought there was something magical that lead to getting a girlfriend that "just happened" (Like, you just /click/ and it just happens) and then sex would come later in the relationship. Little did I know, for example, that you need to "make a move" on a girl.
-Then I pretty much ignored it for the rest of my time there. I would avoid interested females, i think because 'poor college student living with parents' wasn't really the kind of foundation I felt comfortable pursuing anything from even if it were a common tale for many going. I believe I had "anxieties about the future" that greatly impaired that, with mounting student debt and the low income job opportunities in the poor city of Spokane, and especially the lack of job opportunities period during the great recession.







i guarantee the tone of voice she used that sounded like "I love you", even if she were merely wishing me a goodday, was far more significant than someone saying "i love you" with a straight voice. Granted, I can easily imagine most "I love you"s are not said with a straight voice, at least not among females saying it. Guys, on the otherhand, I won't hold my breath; I don't have anything against guys but it's not unknown for guys to manipulate girls for sex.

And, I still am not forgetting about her. So, yeah, I think I looking into her eyes as I did pretty much created that f'ing love thing, lol.

I didn't really know what I was messing with when I did that. I certainly didn't premeditate I was creating love even though I certainly did it because I was immensely attracted to her personality.

-----------------------

And, what is this sexual compatability thing I'm seeing? this thing that prevents wives from sexing guys due to "no interest".

Is there really a sexual compatability thing that exists independently from raw primal sexual attraction?

I'm not going to claim I know all that there is behind sexual attraction... but, I think if there's a lack of sexual attraction that there once was, this guy might've become a little too beta. Granted, if the sex immediately stopped after marriage, than it's pretty obvious you're getting used and I would bail immediately. I would hope a competent male could see this "Getting used" thing well before getting married.

1) Body language - keep that back straight, shoulder back. Keep calm and fluid with your movements.
2) Voice - Deep, calm and loud enough. Talk with authority/force.
3) Personality - leadership, authority, dominance. Don't ask, demand. And I don't mean in a whiny way, I mean in a authoritative/forceful way, like you're the boss that gets what he wants.
4) Social - I don't how significant this really is, but how you're regarded in the local community might have an affect. Your occupation might matter. Your neighborhood might also matter, I just don't really know how significant socioeconomics matters. It seems like it's pretty insignificant in my experience, though, if you're an attractive male. I've witnessed short order cooks pull plenty of ass. And many highly-paid professionals pull none.
5) And, of course, foreplay. A girl might need some sexual arousal, seems like they usually need more of it than guys do. Guys, especially if feeling impotent, can still greatly benefit from some arousal.


---------------------

I started really thinking. This HEB chick didn't look hot by any means. She wasn't ugly, ok, so the looks department didn't disqualify her as it does for a lot of women in this particular area, but it alone wasn't enough like it seems to be for very very few girls, and even then, an unlikable personality can easily disqualify.

It definitely seems there was something to her voice. I don't really know if had something to do with the tonal qualities to her voice or the meaning behind the intonations in her vocalizations.

-"I'm desperate, save me" (initial greeting, "Why are you getting so many bananas?") [I started rattling off the important minerals found in bananas]
-"I want you" (seductive quality to her "What have you been doing lately?")
-"I'm so excited/happy your mine!" (when she was doing that "ooo boy, ooo boy, ooo boy", "yippee","yay" exclamations.)
-"I love you" (departing message)

Yes, she was really skilled at reeling me in with those vocal meanings behind the otherwise innocuous questions and sentences. So, maybe it wasn't necessarily the pitch of her voice, but the skillfully used underlying meanings in the intonations of her speech in the context of the situation. Yes, that really seems to be the crux of "her voice" and why it seemed so central.

And, then further, her looks didn't disqualify her. She wasn't morbidly obese, had some symmetry.

----------------------------------

This judy girl at https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/7-most-important-things-men-150200580.html seems to be highly active in the comments section. She seems to be very "I hate males" and "I make the demands in the relationship" in her answers. Further, she admits that she's looking for a provider.

So, this girl is the self-appointed dictator in the relationship who hates men and simply wants to use a man for his resources.

This is the kind of girl you hear about that's kind of like the nightmare of guys. Taking dominance and using the man for his wealth/provision.

So, I so far have thought that relationships tend to evolve in that way, guy fails to establish dominance and lets her get away with simply using him. Perhaps that's what her previous relationship(s) has been like, and maybe that guy(s) kicked to her the curb, and so now she hates men as a general rule.

But, I'm thinking maybe this girl is a just a horrible mate to begin with. And there are females whom are just generally horrible mates (A dominant mate looking to use a guy for money). Just like there are guys who are simply horrible mates (a weak ineffectual man looking for love sans sex).

But maybe the inverse exists. A powerful/dominant man looking to use girls for sex. Seems like that's true. A submissive female looking for love. That also seems to be true. i guess there are definitely all combinations among motivations and their dominance/submission status.

Dominant men looking for sex / Dominant women looking for money
submissive men looking for love / submissive women looking for love

But, on the otherhand, maybe she's /really/ looking for that "strong man" who won't let her get away with it and refuses to submit to her, and it's going to take one hell of a strong man.

If I were to characterize the HEB chick encounter...

It would've been Dominant man looking for sex / Submissive women looking for love. I'm sure there was an element of "Looking for money"(girl) and "Looking for love"(guy), but wasn't the primary desire at the time, it might have eventually evolved to become that way.

--------------------

You know, it's kind of strange now that I'm thinking about it.

1) She was already strongly neurochemically addicted to me as the rejection suggested.(Limerence)
2) She became my girlfriend very shortly afterwards.
3) She implied "I love you" in her intonation when wishing me farewell.
4) She had "the glow" by the very end.

It almost seems like we had sex. I certainly didn't feel like I was having sex, but judging from the above effects on her, it almost seems like /she/ was. So, maybe she was having sex in her mind when I was looking at her like that. The look definitely seemed to convey "I'm frocking you right now" (Even though I'm not exactly sure what that look actually looks like and if it can be even conveyed,lol.), and she acted like she was getting frocked as weird at that seems, so yes... it's very plausible we already had sex in her mind.

----------------------

And, you know what, I just realized my own reaction to her departing message that had the underlying tonal meaning of "I Love you" was /identical/ to her reaction to my passionate love gaze. I don't know how to describe the reaction...

(partially) close you eyes, tilt the head slightly back, take an exaggerated short breath in.

i don't know if there is a name for that reaction, but it's definitely a characterizable reaction.

So, her voluptuous reaction was likely not sexual in origin, entirely sentimental.

Yes, so the thing she was looking for, what she thought she had found with me, was love.

And maybe some protection and provision, this I didn't ultimately find out about. Lost contact, never saw her again.

-----------------------

https://www.google.com/search?biw=1440&bih=808&tbm=isch&sa=1&q=men+want+sex+women+want&oq=men+want+sex+women+want&gs_l=psy-ab.3...9037.9836.0.10731.5.5.0.0.0.0.217.741.0j3j1.4.0....0...1.1.64.psy-ab..1.0.0....0.WWaGJ0cW_Ck

Looks like "Men want sex and women want love" is the most popular result, and "Men want sex and women want money"/"Men want sex and women want everything" is the second most popular. What is the driving motivation? For a number of girls, it seems to be money (Though food seems the most important 'essential' resource judging by its seduction effect based on the PUA threads I'm reading). But, that could be presumptuous to assume that's true of all women. I know the HEB chick wanted love, but I also think she wanted support additionally, had the "I want babies" body language suggesting that much. Seems like there's a number of young attractive gals who can spot you're doing well in the way you carry yourself, and target you accordingly. I walked by one such person in Microcenter once, was within 2 feet of her, oh she just looked so adorable [literally I was instinctively "oooh"ing how adorable she was as I passed by her, literally, lips were lipping out "oooh", lol.], and she was immediately drawn to me and gave chase, I don't really know ultimately why. Looking for support for her babies, support to buy this video security system she was eyeing but was mulling over how exactly was she going to afford it... Heck if I know. Considering her kneejerk reaction to the "success body language" I had at the time, I doubt love was at the top of the list. It's plausible she was instinctively drawn with no particular explicit motivation, but I just get this feeling she wanted my money.

 

[Dauntless]

And, I'm a software engineer by trade and my programs automate my business, so I literally have to put in like 30 minutes of labor every day.

And, so that's why I have so much freetime.

So you programmed a bot to write your posts. That makes sense, just as the posts themselves don't.

 

[swbluto]

And, I'm a software engineer by trade and my programs automate my business, so I literally have to put in like 30 minutes of labor every day.

And, so that's why I have so much freetime.

So you programmed a bot to write your posts. That makes sense, just as the posts themselves don't.

Now I have to question if I have hurt dauntless recently. Can't come up with a good answer, then I have to question what other motivations might he have? You could tell me, but... if it's just going to get messy, I'd rather let sleeping dogs lie.

Considering the situation I'm in right at the moment versus your situation, it's pretty hard to believe jealousy is the motivation. Some aspects of my situation might be enviable, but there's a whole lot that DEFINITELY IS NOT, lol.

Now, if you're referring to the laughable reasoning in some of the sections, like the slut vs. bombshell looking for sugar daddy, I agree with you. Quite presumptuous to assume the HEB chick was one or the other. But, there is a good question as to if she was looking for daddy. Or possibly daddy dom with her acting like a little girl.

I think "Looking for a husband" is roughly synonymous to "Looking for daddy", and I know the former is a fairly popular desire inferring from google results, so looking for daddy is not unlikely.

Dang, google imaging "Daddy Dom" makes it look like one big sexfest ; https://www.google.com/search?q=daddy+dom&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjbyKnnhbfWAhWKxYMKHVE2AA8Q_AUICigB&biw=1440&bih=808

I can't say I would've minded.

I'm afraid I had this affect on her. Just like she might've had on me.

To be sure, I'd say 99% of men are not that ballsy, and the likelihood she'll find someone like me on that particular day is pretty slim. But, maybe that's not her biggest concern, so maybe that's not what really matters to her. I mean, I'm sure it matters to her heart, but she's probably willing to compromise if she's simply looking for material support.

On the flipside, 99% of women don't have the kind of affect she had on me, so it's fittingly mirrored.

-----------------------

Okay, I need to find houseplans for this kind of house.



These were the newer houses common at Nuke School, and it had a nice coastal ambiance to the neighborhoods. I'd be interested into finding plans and getting a materials estimate for this structure.

-----------------


Nuke school:

I really liked my training and experience here at nuke school, made a lot of good friends and memories that I now cherish and fondly look back on, but the way I was treated by the upper chain of command, including this place, as a whole by my vindictive roommate in the context of the guilty until proven innocent Kangaroo Courts of Nuke School, was less than stellarly. But, hey everything is fine now, I fully own my house and successful business, something that wouldn't be possible had I still been in the navy (I would still be 4 more years until getting out at this point), so I'm somewhat grateful things turned out the way they did.

DTP:

4 months of fully paid vacation here. Made a really good friend during that time, really had some fun around town. Absolutely the best time I had at nuke school.

It's interesting I appeared at my happiest when I was on the way out. I think that's a pretty solid indicator I didn't really do well there psychologically (Arguably most didn't), so getting out for trivial reasons was probably for the best.

What the hell? Are 93% of males /that/ emasculated? Shiz, I would rather throw the girl down on the bed and get to business, lol. [I mean that figuratively. Really, just turn the passion up and don't hold back.]

Of course, it kind of helps that I have firsthand experience with this dynamic now -> you become horny, you signal the desire and apply the pressure, and see if she mirrors. she mirrors it, good, start to escalate.

-----------------

See that there's now a "Wayback burgers" joint in the defunct building on the Naval Base Charleston that apparently used to have a McDonald's,but they vacated due to lease agreement disagreements. Interestingly, it looks like a Mc'd's just got built /right outside/ the base this year, so they're obviously hoping they can tap some of that nukeschool money they've been missing, lol.

Was feeling tempted to get a planeticket to check it out, but turns out Wayback Burgers is expanding everywhere and there's places in Houston, that is cool.

And this is why it's better to be in Houston than Spokane. Spokane is the last city to attract new franchises or just franchises in general. Definitely no "Tesla Motors" in spokane, but there is one here. No IKEA in spokane,but there is one here. No fry's electronics in spokane,but there is one here. Definitely no microcenter.

----------------------

It's interesting reading my "Here's how to be sexually attractive".... act like the boss and impose your authority and make demands like a boss.

And then I see images like this:

I wonder if that's why that girl started talking like a little girl, she could definitely sense the dom in me and happily adapted herself accordingly.

I never really thought of myself as a dom, until she started talking like a little girl which I found immensely arousing and I was wondering "What the hell does this mean?". :lol: (Other than the obvious wannabe pedophile implication, lol)

I like this picture for some reason.

When I was staring her down as I did, I was easily imagining pointing my finger straight down to the ground and barking "Come here!", lol. I think she got the message which I believe she found immensely arousing. You don't sassmouth me like that, you bitch, now come here, you're getting some spankings. lol

With her exclamations of joy(ooo boy ooo boy! yippee! yay!), she seemed like she felt pretty lucky. I'm not exactly sure if that's because she thought she found a boyfriend or because she found a daddy dom, lol.

 

[Dauntless]

Now I have to question if I have hurt dauntless recently. Can't come up with a good answer, then I have to question what other motivations might he have? You could tell me, but... if it's just going to get messy, I'd rather let sleeping dogs lie.

Um, honest reaction to a lot of this doesn't count with you? I couldn't help but wonder if someone might decide to put that of all things in the 'Quotable Quotes,' what with my hitting the nail on the head so well and all. When something needs to be said, we all know I'm just the one to say it. And work a joke into it. Maybe even figure out a way to make it the theme to a new sitcom.

I could be jealous of just about anyone right now, I have a stable roof over my head for the time being and that's about it. The Department of Commerce sent me a survey a little like a piece of the census and the answers really hit home about my life being stuck in a swamp. Including asking if I took early retirement. Dang.

Now, if you're referring to the laughable reasoning in some of the sections, like the slut vs. bombshell looking for sugar daddy, I agree with you. . . On the flipside, 99% of women don't have the kind of affect she had on me, so it's fittingly mirrored.

So reprogram the bot to reason it out differently.

Too bad you can't reprogram the women. This 'Daddy Dom' thing is a fantasy that you pay a prostitute for, maybe even keep a fulltime mistress, etc. Women don't do that for real. They more like the idea of 'Bitch Wife Dom.' They hope to tell you to shut up only a few times before you learn to do it without being told, etc.

Ah, well,I'm told that one of these women who blew me off in college might not actually be married to the guy living off her in the house her parents bought her. How nice to be a rich snot, eh? Think of how hard it would be for her to be uppity in some apartment downtown. Especially if it was rent controlled. I guess the guy is a prop, can't have people seeing she can't get one, eh? I wonder if she ever thinks about the fact I already had a house back then? That if she'd played her cards right, she could have told her parents she didn't need them to buy her a house, or need a stand in. . . .

Ah well, there's no reprogramming her.

 

[swbluto]

Honest reaction are great. I usually don't realize how wishy-washy /some/ reasoning is until I read it over a second time later in the day and readily think of exceptions and see plotholes, lol. And for sure, I don't have the benefit of being aware of all my middle aged friends who've been through 20+ years of marriage and otherwise, to have learned insight into that area.
http://cuckold-chastity-belt-stories.com/dominant-wives/page_dominant_bitch_wife.html

Anyway, reading this story of a dom bitch wife, seems like the trend was the husband was an employee and her lover was a business owner. It's interesting to think of the social roles their work lives played into their relationships. Imagine if the husband was a business owner instead, maybe he would have a similar feeling of power and dominance? In that particular story, I could easily imagine myself taking control of that bitch, because someone of the things she said to him, I would be so readily telling her. Like telling her to shut her trap. And if this girl was as hot as she seems to be suggesting (The husband was smitten with her with the sex and subsequently proposed to her), there's no way in hell she'd be holding me back. If things irreversibly declined within the grace period (2 years) and nothing I'm doing is changing it, yeah, I'd be filing divorce papers immediately, getting used.

it's interesting reading about this 'girl gets really horny when guy gets angry at her', because that's my experience as well. Imagine if the girl did step out of the line to test your power and control of her... a dominant male would get angry and express it likewise and keep her in check, and I believe this is the likely root of the 'girls get really horny when guy gets angry at her'. There could be other reasons... maybe relating to expressing anger to others... maybe relating to having the confidence to voice your immediate reactions / NOT HOLDING BACK...

Not holding back your internal reactions seems to be a common theme in turning women on. Anger, lust, etc.

In terms of a bitchy girl, oh ho, that turns me on likely because she's horny or fertile. I don't know how it's an unsatisfying quality in a wife, unless it's not related to being horny and the guy isn't taking control of the girl and failing to command her to shut her trap.

Anyway, it's interesting reading this story,because there seems to be parallels with the HEB chick. Such as being a horny nymphomaniac slut, getting excited about getting f*d by a dominant male, getting a little bitchy at times when she's getting horny, giving the guy the best sex of his life. (Girls who just LOVE THE SEX seem to add that extra pleasure that the more reserved girls don't).

[I can't really confirm she's really /this/ slutty, but... there's some behavioral indications suggesting she might have a history. The "best sex of his life" and "Completely smitten" seemed to be there with the HEB chick... uh huh... yes. And that exaggerated overt flirtation with the next customer...I really can't tell now if that was because she's a slut or trying to make me jealous. I could rationalize it in either direction, lol. With the palpable bond we had, I'd assume she was trying to make me jealous... but I just don't know... There's just A LOT of compelling evidence she was a slut, but I lack proof, uggg. And it doesn't really seem like I should presume she was a slut because I made her horny, lol; Could be that I was being "super hot" at the time, lol.]

When I met my husband he already owned a nice house and earned a decent income - just the sort of man I was looking for who could give me a good standard of living and an easy life.

I've always been a horny bitch and a complete slut, particularly with big cocked black men, and had no intention of giving up that side of my life! So whilst my future husband was courting me I carried on with my nymphomaniac life behind his back, but I gave him the best sex he'd ever had and he was soon completely smitten.

When I hinted at marriage after 3 months he jumped at the chance, so in no time I was ensconced in his lovely home and spending his hard earned cash for fun!

Very soon after moving in with him I started to reduce the amount of sex we had whilst still having affairs behind his back. He was so frustrated and horny all the time but that just made me want to extend the intervals between the times that I let him frock me! The more I denied him sex the more he went out of his way to please me. I suppose he knew deep down that I was too good for him and that I'd leave him if he made too much fuss about his lack of sex.

[It's interesting she makes the comment about 'if he made a fuss, I'd just leave', whereas I'm like, "I'd make a fuss and just kick her ass to the curb". I think the difference is he's afraid of her leaving,thus /needing/ her, and I'm not afraid at all and thus not /needing/ her, so I can imagine the situation would be different with my person.]

--------------------

Anyway, it seems like this drinking cocoa throughout the day is pretty effective at keeping me feeling like I'm awake, whereas I'd get tired before throughout the day. So the connection with a significant mortality risk reduction seems palpable if one were to associate awake~=alive AND really tired~=dead.

-----------------------

Gosh, I love lemons. Can't stop eating them raw, lol. (I can't eat them back to back, but 2-3 times a day is possible)

---------------------

I looked at the property and realized if I took down the smaller trees in front, I could get 20-30 feet of good solar real estate. Good for planting vegetables/fruit or useful for solar panels. So, I think that's what I'm going to do. Seems like I could use the front 20 feet and the back 40 feet during the winter time for growing vegetables. During the summer, I could use the front 30 feet and the back 90 feet or so.

So... during the summer... I have 120*75 = 9000 sq. ft.
And the winter, 60*75 = 4500 sq. ft.

It's interesting see me developing this property, because my property looks like it's going to be one of the most interesting properties in the area, lol, no doubt a reflection on me personally, lol. I'm obviously not "the average person" in this particular area, lol.

---------------

I wonder why I feel so unworthy at the moment? I thought it was a passing feeling this afternoon that only affected certain activities, but I'm still feeling like it and I'm wondering why... hmmm.... predicted finances coming January looks like they'll be spectacular compared to the first year here (Often running close to 0 due to infrastructural investments and strict spending habits didn't come into effect until august 14 and I didn't have an 'affordable diet' until just a week or so ago...) so I'm looking forward to that. Maybe my blood sugar is running low...

----------------

And you know what... that facial exression she had just prior to her "cutting me off" as a complete stranger and her overt exaggerated flirtation with the next customer, I just realized that was the "Scheming facial expression", lol. It makes sense since I could see through her manipulation, yes, but I didn't really know why she did it at the time, but I think I now know - trying to please the person who's in front of you, the motive of the popularity-seeking two-faced person. Doesn't matter muchnow, she's gone. She obviously didn't actually "cut me off" internally, so I definitely think she was still strongly bonded which is what my gut-feeling was telling me, so it's curious as to what came of that in the days following.

Anyway, me courting the two-faced trying-to-please-everyone popularity seeker. Huh, I wonder how comfy I am with that idea.

It kind of makes me think I shouldn't trust them. But I could see through her ploy and still know what she was feeling, so it doesn't seem like it mattered in that particular situation. But, would there be other situations I might be concerned about? I don't really know. I would think if I fully owned my own business and whatnot, I would have power and wealth she couldn't take away, and what she does in other areas really shouldn't concern me. If she ever became too troublesome for what she's really worth, kick her out. However, that does present a possible imbroglio in the event of longterm marriage, if such a situation would arise after the grace period. So, I don't think it'd be necessarily wise marrying her unless there was a strong prenuptial.

And sure enough, I'm seeing articles like this.

https://www.thespruce.com/manipulation-in-marriage-2302245

Manipulation in Marriage
Manipulation is not a good communication strategy

METHODS
Withholding sex or affection
Withholding money or something of value
Making you feel shame or embarrassment
Crying
Guilt
Withdrawal or avoidance
Giving the "Silent treatment"
Pouting
Whining
Having a temper tantrum
Doling out threats and ultimatums
Lying or twisting the truth
Criticism and disapproval
Being vague
Blaming
Being coercive
Showing exaggerated disappointment
Withhold or hiding information
Twisting the words (or meaning of the words) you said


MOTIVES
To punish
To control and dominate
To change the spouse
To get attention
To receive pity
To wear the spouse down
To put your spouse on a guilt trip
To get your own way
To make sure your own needs are met
For other personal selfish motives

Sure enough, look at that, withholding sex and affection as a means to control and dominate. Didn't I just read that story at the top of this post?

So, she might've been a manipulative slut just like the girl at the top of this post. So maybe meeting her was a lesson in the type of person I should be careful of. Good for a roll in the hay, but beware marriage.

But, really though... she didn't really seem that manipulative during ordinary conversation...but getting manipulative after being romantically sought out... that does seem like a common trend. Not sure if that's too concerning in of itself, just as long as assets are protected.

Sure enough, I got angry at her precisely because I perceived that she was manipulating me when she started making those baby noises and then she became extremely limerant and was begging me to accept her. So, yes, she does have a pattern of manipulation in this particular area. But, that really does seem like some low-grade manipulation she was using (manipulation I could see through, anyways), so I don't really think I should've been too concerned about it. Not quite the red flag as withholding sex in the context of marriage would be.
---------------------

I was thinking about estimate costs.

so, sheathing and siding costs, by far the two largest costs, is proportional to the perimeter of the structure.

Since in a square structure, the perimeter is proportional to the length, the perimeter is thus proportional to the square root of the area.

So, if you were to go up in size from 100 sq. ft to 2000 sq. ft. for example, the sheathing and side paneling cost would cost as a factor of square root of 20, or 4.47 times as much instead of 20 times as much.

In real structures, since houses are not usually perfect the square, the actual ratio cost number would be somewhere between 4.47 to 20, with more square designs approaching 4.47 and more lengthy linear designs approaching 20.

So, essentially, a typical house would be a LOT LESS costly per square foot than something like a courtyard house, since sheathing and side paneling makes up the bulk of structure costs and a courtyard house is closer to a linear form than a square.

So, a courtyard house that was 2000 sq ft. would cost almost 20 times as much in sheathing and paneling compared to 100 sq. ft. whereas a square house would be 4.47 times as much, and a normal rectangular house would tend to be somewhere around 7 times as much, depending on the ratio of length:width.

So normal houses have a significant cost advantage per square foot as compared to courtyard houses. I'd estimate a normal house would cost roughly half as much as a courtyard house per sq. ft.

So, if the cost for 100 sq. ft. is $2000, a 2000 sq. ft. courtyard house is $40,000 and a normal 2000 sq. ft. house would be $20,000.

------------------

Ooooo yeah, looks like this week is turning into another jackpot, hell yeah.

-------------------

I started thinking about the HEB chick again. I was recalling her reaction to mytelling her I moved from washington, and she got visibly angry. At the time,i thought she was getting angry at her own town but as I'm now recalling the facial expression, it looks like she got angry because I was an out of towner who dared move to /her/ city. I thought about that a little more and I just kind of realized that she might've assumed I moved to her town and took one of /their/ jobs (At the time, it appears she assumed I worked as a timberman, lol.), and that's probably why she was getting angry. And why would she getting angry about that? I'm guessing their family might've been affected by a lack of work or some such, and so she regarded people like me (The out of towners) as "The enemy" taking jobs away from them. And, there's a good chance she and/or her family might've been literally financially desperate, they were poor and out of work. So, as to her acting desperate, something tells me she might've been pretty poor and was literally financially desperate.

And look at that, here I am the wealthy capitalist being so satisfied with these desperate women groveling at my feet and I didn't really know it, lol.

And that has set the bar as to what I expect of women, lol (An aggressive flirt). Maybe I could use a reset.

-------------------

Interesting. A brief uncomfortable period made up of exquisite moments. Kind of seems like it more often nowadays, yes. The prevailing emotion more commonly these days seems to be a subtle dissatisfaction arising from a lack of meaningful integration in a community. I guess people recognize me, i guess I have that going for me, lol.

------------------

And a 700 sq ft house would be 2000*1.2*(700/100)^(1/2) = $6300. [factor of 1.2x inserted since it likely wouldn't be perfectly square]

-------------------

I was looking into thoreau's quote "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation", and I was curious what exactly he meant by "quiet desperation". Despite a quora thread looking into the matter, still didn't feel like I had a satisfying answer.

But, anyways, one user wrote:

https://www.quora.com/What-does-Thoreaus-quote-mean-The-mass-of-men-lead-lives-of-quiet-desperation-and-go-to-the-grave-with-the-song-still-in-them

He affirms that from his “two years of experience that it would cost incredibly little trouble” to meet basic necessaries of life. For example, he built his home with $28 while his townsmen were spending around $800 to build a house, which according to him would take atleast 15 years to repay.

So walden had the miniature shotgun shack, while the townmen had the country villas.

It's curious to wonder what motivates this drive for the 'biggest house that reaches the limits of affordability'. I would suspect that it's used to attract women and is used as a status symbol as a display of income, wealth or some such.

Anyway, it seems like I'm finding better answers here: https://thestateofnow.wordpress.com/2013/02/12/the-mass-of-men-lead-lives-of-quiet-desparation-what-does-it-mean/

I think what he means is that most men never figure out what they really want to do, and so they never do it and are therefore miserable. Hence, wisdom is not to do desperate things: Do things that make you happy instead.

Now that sounds significantly more like what Thoreau would be suggesting, with his encouraging the finding happiness in the simple pleasures of life philosophy.

But, let's see here... did thoreau ever have a wife?

Doesn't seem like it.

Considering that frequent sex has a significant impact on the homocysteine, cortisol and BP levels of males, I would think that these "men" who are leading "lives of quiet desperation" who are attracting females, unlike Walden, might not actually be as desperate/unhappy as Walden suggests. However, I''m also aware that most men didn't procreate historically, so it's not entirely unlikely that this might be what he means by "quiet desperation", "desparation" in finding a female. That guy advertising on craigslist with his 5-bedroom house definitely came across like he was desperate and sure enough, he seems to be using that "Biggest house ever" technique to attempt mate attraction and it's curious if that'll actually work for him. I'm thinking he might need to actually go out there and find them off of craigslist and he might benefit from "improving his game", but it's curious to see what he might get away with the bargaining chips he seems to be using. I would personally prefer not putting my bargaining chips out there at the start, because I wouldn't want attract females for the less-than-ideal reasons and attract users. This isn't to say that a wise enough male won't be to discriminate the users from nonusers, I would think most could, but it does seem like a lot of males fail this task.

I don't get the sense most "user" females are as abusive as the girl at the top of the post, lol, so I really think finding a girl like that shouldn't be a top concern, i.e., don't let the story scare you.

-----------------------

Anyway, this HEB chick. Let's see it from her point of view, yes. She looked like she was so excited, happy and completely exhilarated some guy just took life by the horns and declared, "you're mine now!". She was probably completely thrilled as to the thought where this might've been going, those wild-eyes burning of desire, oh yes, she looked thrilled. Then I never saw her again, don't entirely know the reason why, and so I really no idea what happened to her. She might've found another good outcome on her part or she might've been went back home for whatever reason, and probably despaired that this rare opportunity slipped through her fingers and cried herself to sleep, thinking of the deeply unsatisfying lingering unfulfilled "what if?"s. So, I don't really get the sense this girl was a user in the way the top post story female was, she definitely looked like whatever happened at that moment, she knew was a rare bird moment that was immensely enjoying.

She made me so horny, and I know I made her horny, isn't that just so fitting? Sounds like a solid foundation for a committed relationship.

----------------------

So yesterday night, I thought lowly of myself for a few seconds and the left side of my face started losing sensation, a phenomenon that lasted for a few seconds. That was freaky, made me think I was having a stroke, and the cause behind it (cortisol spike) seems fitting.

Anyway, I noticed that many times when I eat, i get this sharpish fleeting pain in my neck just under the bottom right corner of my jaw, which is roughly where I'd imagine the bifurcation between the external and internal carotid arteries occurs. It seems like it's triggered by whatever is in the food, salt, sugar, bacteria, I don't really know, but something. Happens with bananas, grapes, fish, pretty much almost anything.

So, I suspect that there is carotid stenosis in the right carotid artery which would explain the transient left bells palsy yesterday night and the left transient hemiparesis that one night about a year ago, and the pain likely occurs when transient vasoconstriction occurs shortly after the onset of eating, producing a transient fleeting pain due to transient localized ischemia at the carotid artery bifurcation. So, I don't think i need an MRI at this point to diagnose it, though it could be useful for measuring the severity. And, if I were to surmise which of the two arteries is likely occluded at the bifurcation, I'd infer the external carotid artery though I can't really justify why at the moment, seems like I inferred that from previous research.

If I were to surmise a probable etiology

-High cortisol (stress/depression/loneliness/unemployment/fear/hostility/etc.)
-Low oxytocin (loneliness)
-A period of time when I was doing low carbs possibly contributed
-Physical inactivity

I don't think diet is a primary factor because usually diet seems to hit people in their 50s at a minimum, everything else being equal.

--------

What is that distinct feeling that girls seem to have on me at times shortly after pairing? That hunky-dory relaxed comfortable feeling, like there's that comfort knowing you got someone. I wish there was a name for it, it's a good feeling.

And... oh... talking about this pair-bonding sensation. I don't know how to describe it, it's one of those things if you've never experienced it, it's hard to describe. But, I think a sustained reciprocated gaze has a lot to do with its creation. I'm not talking about bonding between friends, but a very distinct sense of mutual belonging that produces mutual exhilaration and happiness, it itself seems to create a very intuned sense of empathy (that existed beforehand, but is especially reciprocal/mirrored afterward.) and emotional synchronization. Oh, it's definitely unique. I did actually have a best friend at DTP that was much like that, especially emotionally intuned and... had he not been a guy... I would've said I loved him, lol. The kind of folie-a-deux episodes at times that resulted from that was especially interesting.

--------------------
https://www.popsugar.com/fitness/Does-Diet-Affect-Body-Odor-44055700

There was one strange side effect of going vegan, though, that really took me by surprise. After being on a whole-foods, plant-based diet for several months, I realized that my body odor completely changed. It first occurred to me when I forgot to put on deodorant before an endurance running class, a place where I'm guaranteed to sweat my ass off. I left the class drenched as usual, but when I lifted my arms to take off my sports bra, I realized that there was no aroma whatsoever coming from my armpit.

To make sure it wasn't just a happy coincidence, I deliberately left my deodorant in the medicine cabinet over the next couple of days and did all my workouts sans armpit coverage. Much to my surprise, there wasn't a single day when I noticed a gross smell coming from my body.

interesting, could explain why I seem to be doing just plain and dandy without showering, lol. And just smelled my armpits, doesn't really smell as bad as one would normally imagine, a very faint odor.

This would explain the notable absence of "Eww, a smelly bum" reactions in my daily interactions. I literally don't smell, lol.

They discovered that women found men's scents to be much more sexually attractive and pleasant in general when they were eating meals without any meat. Clearly, body odor is affected by what you put into your body, especially when it comes to animal products.

Oh, is that what the HEB chick thought was so intoxicating and overpowering? lol. I really doubt that honestly, I clearly had pride and non-hostile arrogance. And the overpowering part was the unapologetic brashness.

-----------------------------

http://topinspirations.com/12-trees-middle-house-people-love-nature/

Interesting. I'm seeing an issue with putting a house in the forest, you run into trees as you expand, lol. Since I want to keep the large trees intact for the shade-providing benefits (To significantly reduce summer cooling costs and potentially NOT USE EXPENSIVE A/C), I'm thinking of how exactly I might integrate them and this looks pretty cool. I'm thinking i would want a glass (or similar) roof immediately around the chamber encasing the tree so that one could look up the tree from within the house.

Anyway, I think I'm going to build the bedroom, and then I'm just going to accumulate earnings/savings. Once I have enough to 'finish the project' including siding costs and whatnot, I'll do it in one fell stroke. I'm thinking I might go for a 'regular house' kind of design for the overall cost minimization and I guess I'll build the courtyard house in another (more ideal) location sometime in the future. I'm getting the strong sense I don't want to turn this particular property into a longterm property; I want the next property to be someplace that has restrictions, to help keep out the scoundrels.

 

[swbluto]

I thought about the etiology of this carotid stenosis, and I've been noticing the factors that seem to aggravate symptoms the most and what I would assume would be the most responsible for its cause, and it seems to be:

Fear and hostility.

It's interesting too, because the connection between loneliness and (fear & hostility) is well noted. When I had good friends back at Nuke School, there was that sort of tribal comfort that tended to keep fear in check and hostility suppressed. But, since leaving nuke school, I haven't had that kind of social environs since, and it seems the fear/hostility has been running high since and doesn't seem like it's been slowing down. So, would've been nice to been part of a small tribe that stuck together like was the case thousands of years ago.

A dog seems like it'd help reduce the progression longterm.

-------------------------

You know what, it seems like every girl on Match with a pleasing look (A <30BMI female that looks remotely attractive) has an income of $75k-100k in this particular area. That's not really hard to believe because for some reason, every girl out there in Houston seems to be effing fat, so these girls no doubt have the interview advantage for the higher paying positions in the area.

You might think I'm being hyperbolic, but no. Fat girls are definitely not the norm in Spokane. There's something special to Houston, my guess is high discretionary income -> going out to eat all the time + car culture due to long distances (people don't walk anywhere,everything is too far away) + hot temperatures outside 6 months of the year which dissuades exercise = fatties everywhere you see.

I might surmise there's a lot more attractive females in the higher wage areas of Houston; if they have the distinct interview advantage here, which they appear like they do, then no doubt they'd tend to concentrate in higher paying areas (Areas of Houston with a concentration of higher paying work).

-----------------------

And the previous section might just be an instance of hostility, lol.

I'm hungry right now, craving carbs, so might be low on the bloodsugar which is well known to cause irritability.
-----------------------

it was pretty interesting seeing this friendly happy go lucky girl turned into this wild-eyed desired girl. You wouldn't readily surmise a reaction like that from someone like her, but put her in the situation where it gets provoked, oh, there it is, lol. Anyway, it's a good look to have, looks like she's anticipating clothes getting ripped off.

--------------------------

http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2017/02/08/society-is-creating-new-crop-alpha-women-who-are-unable-to-love.html

Society is creating a new crop of alpha women who are unable to love

" What I am saying is that men tend to follow women’s lead. Your husband’s actions are more often than not reactions. He’s reacting to something you said or did, or to something you didn’t say or didn’t do. He’s reacting to your moods, your gestures, your inflections and your tone. " Thanks Ms. Venker--this is what my boyfriend told me and told the cops....that he was "reacting" to me and "playing off" my lead. The cops didn't buy it and threw him out. Domestic violence--not a pretty picture.

Reacting to their tone. Yes, I eventually noted that quality about her voice that seemed crucial to my attraction to her. Not sure if this implies she really was 'the dominant one' in that situation, lol. I think when I overpowered her anger which led to her astonishment (This was the part where I was thinking "Women, you need to know your place"), that's when the roles switched and she instantly fell into sycophantic submission and wanted to jump all over me.

-----------------------

And the prepubescent girls have been going up and down my road recently, honking at me occasionally as they went by. (I assume they heard my voice; I would rather not like to believe they saw me in the nude fondling my package, lol)

I really don't get what's with all the jailbait trying to tempt me, lol.

---------------------

https://bukowskiforum.com/threads/those-damn-eyes-frocked-me-forever.8135/

Eyes. Those damn eyes frocked me forever. We made love just looking at them"

Oh, so she did have sex. I was just reviewing the undulating upper body movements upon initiating the gaze, and it appears she was definitely imagining getting f*ed. I didn't know I would be able to convey that thought by merely looking at her a certain way (didn't know it was possible anyway, never did it before.), but I was certainly thinking something along those lines, so that's pretty appropriate. So that glow she had by the end; that was the "just had sex" glow, lol. And she became addicted to me like morphine precisely because we were having sex.... lol... I'm not sure if I entirely believe that, lol... probably just simple reciprocated eye gaze oxytocin production, "bonding".

But that would make it comprehensible why one of its many terms happens to be "Eye rape".

But one popular urbandictionary decribes it as an "unwanted eyefuck", but she looked she thoroughly wanted it based on where it led, so maybe it was an "eyefuck" simply because it wasn't ultimately unwanted. If she had distraughtly broken eye contact or showed obvious problems with it, I would've stopped immediately, but she looked like she was definitely embracing it.

But, on the otherhand, many urbandictionary entries mention "looking someone up and down" or something along those lines, and this page at https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/201407/is-your-gaze-loving-or-lustful suggests that gazing into the eyes, as opposed to the body, is more loving than lustful. (And, according to the same page, no difference in results between males and females)

Sure enough... there is definitely a lot of indicators suggesting love was going on. I never was gazing at her body and her 'spirit'(personality I guess) definitely aroused great interest on its own. Like her anger. But, oh yes, she made me really horny, lol.

-----------------------

"You only fall into love once"

https://www.google.com/search?q=you+only+fall+in+love+once&oq=you+only+fall+in+love+once&aqs=chrome..69i57j69i64l2.4882j0j9&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

I'm seeing a lot of pages along the lines of "True love only happens once" .

That's getting depressing, lol. I don't really believe that, but oh... it sure did like hell felt like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity at the time. And to think it's gone, lol... No, that's just too depressing, I reject that belief accordingly, lol.

See... I think about what was happening... I was winning and looking around after having settled on going after white girls. Sure enough, within the 5th white girl I talked to, there she was. So, I don't strictly believe that it was really once in a lifetime, I think it was just a good confluence of circumstance and chance. Right now I'm winning, but I'm not looking, so I don't expect the same kind of "chance encounter" as I did then. And, you know, the timing might've been important. Being July 1st, there might've been timing issues on her part, in regards to her residence and such with highschool having just gotten out so there might have been some other compelling factors behind her behavior (She was clearly looking as well; Not just "I'm available" but not doing much about it, but actually aggressively looking.).

So, really, I think I would have good luck when I feel ready in a place where other people are actively looking. Dating sites isn't too bad... tinder... where are girls looking... bars... barnes&noble...singles nights...parties... where-ever the actively looking are looking.

------------------

This even depresses me more. Apparently the third out of (supposedly) 3 loves in life...

And the third is the love we never see coming. The one that usually looks all wrong for us and that destroys any lingering ideals we clung to about what love is supposed to be. This is the love that comes so easy it doesn’t seem possible. It’s the kind where the connection can’t be explained and knocks us off our feet because we never planned for it.

This is the love where we come together with someone and it just fits—there aren’t any ideal expectations about how each person should be acting, nor is there pressure to become someone other than we are.

We are just simply accepted for who we are already—and it shakes to our core.

For sure, I never saw her coming. It did also come incredibly easy, like it was meant to be. The connection was surreal, a kind of connection I've only experienced maybe among 2 guy friends in my life. And, yes, she was acting like her authentic self and so was I, no inhibitions nor pretend.

-----------------------

I think I've come to accept I don't really know the intent behind her ending actions. I would need followup, the benefit of which i don't have, to figure that out.

1) She's a slut
2) Trying to make me jealous to secure my commitment (I suspect this)
3) Being abusive

The last one, yes, is a suspicion. It doesn't seem fitting in the overall context, but is definitely plausible if isolated, but I just don't have the benefit of knowing if she's abusive (i.e., "mean girl"). She never came across like a mean girl to my person upto that point (But she seemed to have characteristics of a popular girl), but I suppose that's how the two-faced work, they're mean once you're no longer in front of them. So, I just don't know. I almost suspect this might've been the cause of the suicidal ideation in the days immediately following, abuse by those "close"(bullying), and not so much the frustration being constrained by the thief.

I didn't take it that way at the time, but it felt like there was something insidious happening with her. (subtly psychologically harmful but I couldn't put my finger on it.)

In terms of motivation, I clearly didn't feel like I was being bullied, no, quite the opposite. So the frustration of the thief is likely responsible.

If she was being abusive, and assuming she got yanked, it's just as well. Even though... I really don't mean to carelessly wish her ill will like I would someone random, so I really don't mean that. [it's amusing to think that i inadvertently exacted revenge on one of these 'mean girls' by causing her termination, lol. it's like, payback bitches! Though i never had any bad dealings with popular girls back in highschool, i don't even know who they were at my highschool but I know I didn't hang in their circle. The very few girls i had bad dealings with were decidedly not popular, at least they didn't seem like it to me. Actually you know what... I actually think i'm starting to remember a few popular people in my AP classes and... they don't really seem to fit the "mean girl" stereotype, at least not the ones I'm remembering. And, i don't get the impression they were sluts in the traditional sense. why would i even assume this girl was popular? nonverbal suave, really effective flirting ability using her intonation and (facial) reactions, happy go lucky, nothing holding her back, kind of makes me think that but.... ehhhh... were popular girls at my highschool even like that? lol. I can't really characterize why it felt like I was talking to a girl in heat (Probably her seductive voice), but it definitely felt steamy.]

Anyway, i thought about that. Bullying in the workplace. Bullying tends to demotivate people ("Take the wind out of them"), so performance would tend to suffer. This in turn would lead to termination due to "workplace performance", when bullying was the root cause.

 

[swbluto]

When life gives you lemons, eat them. lol

-----------------

And, woah, that right lobe pain was high this morning, seemingly due to hypoglycemia (Seems like walking alot hits me the next morning) and the existing stenosis. I'm suspecting that historical hypoglycemia might have been a historical contributing factor, hypoglycemia itself seems to strongly contribute to fear/anxiety and hostility/irritability. I believe cortisol is released during hypoglycemia to boost blood sugar levels through lipolysis of lipids and whatnot (gluceogenisis), so the cortisol from hypoglycemia could understandably contribute to arthersclerosis (It seems to accelerate it thru unknown mechanisms, possibly thru immune system impairment and the interaction between bacteria & the immune system). It also likely contributes to vessel narrowing (lumen reduction), as smaller vessels is a wellknown consequence of anorexia, which intuitively would contribute to symptom risk/severity.

Ran out of lemons, so I added apple vinegar to my rice/lentils. vinegar and salt go well with rice, suspect it'll go well with lentils and rice.

And just tasted it, and seems kind of gross, lol. Oh well, lol.

---------------------

Took the "Are you popular quiz", it said yes, lol. I question the validity of that test because it seems to increase your popularity score if you're exceptional at a subject. Yeah, I don't know about you, but being good at math didn't seem to have much correlation with highschool popularity, lol. But, I was certainly well known though, and there were more than a few girls who were hitting on me. And sure enough, I've noticed I tend to a trendsetter online at times. So, I guess it's plausible I might have the potential. Guess maybe that's why it didn't seem like I was out of the girl's league when i made my move, though it's questionable if "league" is related more to confidence/boldness/brashness/not-holding-self-backness and territorial/social dominance in guys (Something modifiable) than non-related intrinsic personality factors.

------------

Anyway, I started thinking about the HEB chick, she probably was looking for a place to move in. Because I just realized she seemed to be as aggressive at this other girl walking down the road with her shoulder exposed in finding a boyfriend, and I assumed her boyfriend kicked her out because he got off of work due to Harvey. And, I don't think she was blind to the fact she was trying to snag grown ass men. So, her cutting off behavior was likely due to not affecting the next interviewee's interview. So, essentially, she probably was looking for someone to use for residence given her similar behavior to that other girl.

Looking for someone to use. Hmmm.

I'm assuming that, though. I don't really know the full story why she seemed to be so aggressive in flirting with everyone. Just doesn't seem like the kind of aggression you'd normally see in a girl even if they were a horny slut.

This 'looking to use a man for residence' doesn't seem entirely unexpected seeing as to that story earlier, and the fact there seems to be a number of men who use residence to market themselves (Seems like the more desperate men tend to rely on it.), so it seems common enough from a supply/demand viewpoint. This is probably more true in housing shortage areas like California. Since territorial dominance is an attractive trait in men, the idea of men possessing and defending 'territory' (Being "owner"(or pseudo owner) and protector) seems like a pretty natural drive.

And, I'm thinking of two other distinct stories where the guy was being used for residence. One was f'ing a jailbird behind his back (protector), and the other one seems like was taking full advantage and ignoring him during parties, but I do believe they had some kind of relationship.

Seems like "denying sex" is a common enough theme during these "using men for residence" stories. I don't know if that's really the trend in the real world, I get the impression these guys were not being forceful enough (being a little too beta in drawing the line and enforcing it.).

It kind of seems like that happened once, a girl plopped herself in my lap and wouldn't budge. I'm not really sure where it happened and I don't believe there were any sexual desires involved, but she definitely was eating food that much I remember.
--------------

Anyway, focusing on that wild eyed behavior. She was looking slightly down, wild eyed and kind of huffing and puffing, as if fantasizing about what could've been happening. For sure, it definitely felt like the situation where we were about to tear into each other, but the environment just wasn't suitable, lol, but she was definitely thinking it and so was I, lol. When I made my move, it definitely conveyed bold aggression, which astonished her and seems pretty fitting she'd mirror it eventually. If I met this girl at say... a party... it might've gone somewhere, lol. [Granted, it's questionable if the situation would've occurred to begin with]

--------------

Anyway, dropped by college station to get some burgers and groceries. Hey, I'm noticing a lot of slender 20-somethings here, not just a bunch of fatties, lol. Anyway, seeing the preponderance of younger 20-somethings here was definitely a refresher from the otherwise retiree crowd at the local Krogers. It's pretty interesting how generationally segregated the area around Houston seems to be. lots of younger people nearer to the city, older people in the rich areas of the city (memorial area / west houston), then lots of elderly in the rural areas, then lots of college students at college station. I seem to have unfortunately chose a property that has a lot of retirees in the area as opposed to younger folks, lol. Oh well, I've cast the dice and it'll probably take several years of earning to significantly change direction, make the best of it while I can (The immediate area actually has a number of younger folks). [If I start working somewhere in the city, I'll probably see plenty of different people all along the spectrum.)

Anyway, the HEB chick. I just don't understand, she so's different but just so awesome, and I really don't know why. I'd think her personality is something like that of a Chameleon.

http://www.puckermob.com/lifestyle/9-signs-youre-the-social-chameleon

Being a social chameleon is a way of life—you love to be around lots of people and adapt to many different personalities

Yes, that /almost/ sounds like a lot like her. Her personality definitely seems to readily adapt/mirror to whatever the situation happens to be ('wears many masks'), and she definitely seems to know how to "act cute". So she was a popular girl (two-faced "pleases who ever is in front of them" popularity-seeking adaptable-to-any-personality chameleon personality), and this page suggests she parties, which wouldn't surprise me. She might be the party slut for all I know.

--------------------------

I started thinking about meat consumption, like chicken. It invokes an insulin response, but assumably that's to help shutter the minerals/nutrients into the cell for use, so that can't necessarily be a bad thing. A lot of studies show no correlation between chicken consumption and CVD (I don't know about diabetes association), so if the consumption of chicken imposes no harm, and it reduces appetite for carbs which has harm in abundance, then I could see a case for chicken being good for overall dietary patterns. And by extension, many other non-mammal meat. [Mammal meat has the drawback of galactose-alpha1,3-galactose, a foreign body to primates.]

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3942738/

Meat consumption was defined as having red meat or poultry at least once weekly (fish was reportedly rarely consumed in this cohort).

Suggests chicken consumption is associated with increased diabetes risk, but no specific focus on chicken alone in any of the data. Much of the data shows little to no association with exclusively fish consumption.

Anyway, I can see why my neighbor likes College station,despite the distance, it's "easy to get to" (pretty much all non-stop highway) and it's pretty spiffy looking, everything looks glossy, well-maintained and generally looking nice. No doubt all that printed student loan money has that effect.

The highways around the poor town seem dangerous, seems like there was 4 alcohol fueled traffic fatalities in 2 separate accidents immediately around it this last week. That's a bit high for a town of like 30,000 people? I would surmise poverty promotes drunkeness. Drinking is a curse of the working classes.

---------------

Oh f'ing BS. It's staying hot for the next 10 days? I guess I'm not starting construction next week like planned. And it looks like it'll still be hot 2 weeks from now. I think I'm looking at starting construction 3 weeks from now, holy shimole, lol.

it's crazy how long it stays warm here. Back in Spokane, it's hitting the dry low 60s/high 50s as the HIGH come the beginning of october, while it's staying at a humid 86F here.

well, construction problems aside, the texas sun feels quite good on the skin this time of the year. seems like the more angled sun exposes more of the standing body to the rays, which definitely 'feels goodly warm' here, lol. Back in spokane, you can't get over the fact you're freezing your ass off outside, so you're covering up and the only sun exposure you're getting is on your face, lol.

I think I'm sticking to 8x12 initial construction. the shed is 7.5x9.5 which seems like plenty, so a true 8x12 should be more than enough.

I would prefer a 12x16 initially, but I always can add that later when I feel comfortable, and I would rather conserve cash for things that might need it most like a second vehicle upon accepting a job offer.

Anyway, saw the guy who bought the $1000 minivan from the mexican grocery with some kind of problem. Appears he fixed it because he's driving around in it absolutely no problems. Kind of like the story of my van, it simply had a dirty ECG valve, which needed cleaning and it was working like new.

--------------------

putting the angry girl episode in the framework of 'us vs them' (natives vs. out-of-towners stealing our jobs), it's interesting to think maybe my move was like me "taking one of the enemy's girls captive", lol, like how they do in wartime. That is an interesting thought actually... maybe my lust/aggressive-anger wasn't so much based on her "anger being hot", but taking one on 'the other side' captive, because that would more readily explain the aggression/lust in my move. And she fell in a trance because she simultaneously discovered my interest in her and aggressive warrior spirit at the same time, and she might've fell hard for both.

---------------------

walking around HEB in college station, I could see a few of those imploring eyes wanting some love, lol. A key sign they're available, lol.

--------------------

you know... one of the things I did immediately prior to leaving is that I got my face pretty close to her face, squinted my eyes, smiling, scrunched up my nose, and started wiggling(?) my face and the reason why is because I felt like it, not because I was intellectually thinking thru what it meant, lol. And I'm trying to figure out what that was/is exactly...

you know... she let me get quite close to her face at that point...and she liked the closeness (whereas she was a little standoffish when I was making my move)... kind of made me think she was prepared to make out, lol.

I think I did because it was affectionate, but I don't really understand how the wiggling would be affectionate, though the closeness is understandable. On the otherhand, maybe it was something of a tease, getting really close but not close enough for a kiss.

Then shortly after that is when was looking slightly down, wild eyed, and huffing and puffing as if she was fantasizing about ripping clothes off, lol.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=wiggling

When a guy and a girl like each other a lot and they go off and either make out, have sex, hand jobs, or do anything sexual.

Is this "wiggling" definition the same thing?

-------------------

OMG, found my old honda vehicle, the honda insight https://houston.craigslist.org/ctd/d/2006-honda-insight-mt-with-c/6301597935.html .

This vehicle would be excellent for this area because it'd get 60 mpg on the highways around here.

Not a priority now, but when the time comes, something like this would be an excellent deal.

Honda civics seem to get 40-44mpg highway, so not far behind. I think I would prefer manual because someone posted their auto transmission went out at 140K and I just assume that a well-treated manual transmission could last a lot longer and, for sure, I'm gentle on my transmissions.

-------------------

"People work hard to get into good neighborhoods" - Thinking about this. This neighborhood doesn't really seem to be very uniform. There's trailers here, nice houses there, and pretty much everything in between. This area isn't really populated enough to be considered a 'neighborhood' in my opinion, mostly forest everywhere you see. i get the impression some land here, make their fortunes, and build nice houses in place overtime, I'm sure some/many eventually leave (The younger crowd here especially),and then there's a few refuges for illegals. These illegal refuges seem to be the most problematic because they have more bad apples, because there's many more apples and and many of those apples es mucho desperado y violencio.

If I had good transportation to wherever I needed to be, I'm not really sure what compulsion I would have to move.

The hypothetical mate attraction benefits seems too abstract and questionable to be compelling on its own. While I don't have experience here, I get the impression that the neighborhood will not stop someone from coming along if it came to that point. But it's questionable if it'd affect 'getting to that point', seems that a number of older attractive females are affected by markers of status.

If I were to eventually move, I'd think it's because I wanted to be closer to desirable areas, like the kayak lake in the woodlands or areas with higher paying jobs if I were in that market mainly because of the commuting-time/commuting headache/gas benefits, and the key point is "closer", not necessarily "in a good neighborhood" (But, for sure, I DO NOT WANT to be in a black neighborhood. I've already seen what that looks like in the southern half of Altanta, Georgia, and keep me out!). And, many of those "good neighborhoods" don't have vacant lots for me to build upon, and I insist on building. Now, if I had children, and they were nearing highschool age, the school district would be a compelling motivation but until then, it would not be.

---------------------

Oh, so I thought about that more, the wiggling of the face and then I thought "Wait, would that be 'rubbing noses'"?

https://www.google.com/search?q=rubbing+noses+together+meaning&oq=rubbing+noses&aqs=chrome.2.69i57j0l5.6888j0j4&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

And, what do you know, there's a term for it. Eskimo kissing

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eskimo_kissing

And another term, nuzzle.

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/nuzzle

It seemed like a weird compulsion at the time, having never felt the compulsion before, and so I was thinking "I hope that didn't come across too weird" not having an explicit understanding of what exactly it was, lol.

Lots of 'firsts', "never done this or seen this before" in that encounter. And I just wanted to pull her hair so gently.

-------------------

Apparently found out where she lived, visited and she had two guy friends waiting in a room and she entered the room while I was leaving, recognized her and she recognized me and she winked out of one eye so that the guys couldn't see.

So she hangs out with guyfriends, huh. What waes that 'How to spot a ho?' webpage telling me, "If she has a lot of guy friends...", lol.

No doubt she has guy friends for a particular reason. It's curious if she's hanging out with mere hopefuls, yes, lol. Basking in the attention of admirers.

In my dream anyway. And it didn't really look like her specifically, hair looked too straight and she had a calm confident elegance about her that I can't say that I see the HEB chick having (She had confidence, but "calm elegance" didn't seem to be one of her characteristics), but I'm supposing it was her. Then again, could have been this college student I spotted opposite side of the gas island, but that seems unlikely, no established relations.

Weird little dream, didn't seem like I was really fully asleep, but I was definitely dreaming.

https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=149734163

And this thread confirms that 99% of attractive women with many guy friends are liars/sluts who love the attention. Which is what I've been suspecting of her before I even knew she had almost exclusively guyfriends, lol.

"Slut" and "loves the attention". Uhhhh huh... the former is suspected, the latter is definitely confirmed.

It's just strange because in my personal experience, the girls I've known were sluts were unattractive for one reason or another. 'Calm confident elegance' was by and large not one of their characteristics. The idea of an "Attractive slut", while not impossible, just doesn't seem to be the norm.

--------------

Just thinking about the specific actions in that encounter, it does suggest that 'men want sex, women want love'. Granted, she may have wanted to jump my bones because she wanted sex (Reports suggest there's a number of women who definitely want sex and in retrospect, she definitely came across like she was horny), but she seemed to very positively react to acts of affection.

 

[swbluto]

Wow, doing a lot better than I thought I did last week. Definitely need to start working, been pushing it off.

------------

Looks like bedroom construction starts in about 2 weeks, highs are gonna be 84F which is suitable for working outside in longsleeves to keep the mosquitos off me.

----------

i thought about the association between nutrient intake vs energy intake vs cortisol and vessel diameter.

In particular, anorexics and micro-vascular disease. Both groups associated with decreased lumen size (Vessel diameter) and cardiovascular mortality (Mainly heart failure).

what's the issue with anorexics? It seems like it could be either energy intake or nutrient intake.

i suspect since cultures who subsist off of vegetables appear to be doing great (like, asians, have better lifespans), I suspect that it's nutrient intake that's more important than energy intake. The reason why there's an association between low energy intake and mortality is likely because there's association between energy intake and nutrient intake (Since energy containing foods, like starchy carbs, fruit and grain, contain both).

Then I thought about the MVD disorder. Why is there significantly more females than males with mvd? One might suspect cortisol could be operative,but statistics highly suggest that males have more problems with cortisol than females, though I can't susbstantiate that at the moment. Just seems intuitive, since females appear to be better socially integrated -> higher oxytocin -> lower cortisol. If that's true, then cortisol doesn't seem to immediately explain a higher incidence of females with MVD. I would suspect rather there's a higher percentage of females with inadequate nutrient intake due to the higher societal pressure to diet, so there's likely a greater percentage of females with low nutrient intake vs males. if this is true, you'd expect more female anorexics than male anorexics.

http://www.scienceofeds.org/2012/07/03/eating-disorders-men-women-differ/

Anorexia nervosa – full syndrome: 0.16% of males vs. 0.66% of females (female:male ration is 4.2:1); partial syndrome: 0.76% of males vs. 1.15% of females (female:male ratio is 1.5:1)

http://www.heart.org/HEARTORG/Conditions/HeartAttack/DiagnosingaHeartAttack/Coronary-Microvascular-Disease-MVD_UCM_450320_Article.jsp#.WcqulLKGNQI

Women more frequently develop coronary microvascular disease and it occurs particularly in younger women; however, men and women who have coronary MVD often have diabetes, high blood pressureor a family history of cardiomyopathy.

This webpage suggests diabetes can cause MVD [which is caused by what? cortisol and a bad bacteria encouraging diet]. But, if it occurs particularly in younger women, who are not especially likely to have type 2 diabetes due to age, then anorexia can more fully explain that trend and anorexia

So small vessels appear explained by cortisol (caused by bad bacteria, low blood sugar and fear/anxiety/hostility/irritability/stress), bad bacteria promoting diet (Which itself invokes a heightened cortisol response during the post-meal immune reaction) and insufficient nutrient intake. Low energy intake might be associated, but seems unlikely to be a direct cause, but could be.

------------

Thinking about the legality of driving with washington plates on a texas vehicle. Seems like if cops ran the vin, and found I purchased it in Texas and presumed I put washington plates on it, seems like there could be very real consequences. If not downright illegal (possibly fraud or a misdemeanor of some type), than at the very least very likely getting the car impounded, seems like I've seen that happen often enough in the montgomery area.

So I'm thinking thru the legality risks of purchasing a second vehicle.

https://forum.officer.com/forum/public-forums/ask-a-cop/traffic-enforcement-questions/50269-how-serious-an-offense-for-fake-tags-plates

Suggests a traffic infraction (A fine imposed via ticket) and impounded vehicle (until registration is squared away) is likely.

Boy, I've seen tow trucks around montgomery looking they had itchy fingers for catching vehicles to impound via cops.

So one would be looking at the tow fees and the impound fees.

http://www.ttsa.org/forthepublic/towedvehiclesfaq.aspx

Suggests $170 plus $20 per day for each day in storage.

Each month I don't have insurance saves me about $200-300/month, so if I think I can get away with it for more than 2 months, it might be worthwhile.

If I were forced to pay for insurance, I'm pretty sure I'd pay for the first month or so and then I'd stick the insurance companies. F' em. I want nothing to do with the machinations of the big banks, even if foisted via government mandate.

--------------------

Thinking about 8x16.

The additional cost would be 4x8 for roof, 4x8 for left wall and 4x8 for right wall, and 4x8 for the floor. So, four 4x8 or about $50 more. Then I'd need two 16 ft runners instead of two 12 ft. for the sides of the floor and and the sides of the ceiling frame. Don't know if it should be a 2x6 with the blocks underneath the runners, doesn't seem like a 2x4 would bend with the support. then four more 8 ft studs. So about $90 more in total. Seems like it'd be worthwhile. More shelving and walking room with the bed at the end. More space for tables. Possibly could get an indoor shower stall, away from the mosquitos.

--------------------

Yeah, that sounds about right. Except the 30 minutes can be as little as 5 minutes, and the 4 minutes can be as little as 1 minute, lol.

And, I would think /naturally/, this would occur under the pressure of the guy feeling great affection for the girl and just start doing it and persisting with it under the force of his own passion, taking into account both the girl's interest and inferred availability(is she flirting? Looking at you with imploring eyes? etc.), just like I did.

A surprising number of girls seem to be single. I would've swore just a decade ago, all the interesting girls would be taken by someone, but I swear to god like almost every girl I've come across is available here. This wasn't the case back in Charleston, SC, but then again... I wasn't actually looking there, either.

'

This is true, I could identify her from the uncanny smiling behavior long before I met her - Granted, I didn't predict she was "my soulmate" or anything, but I knew I strongly identified with her by the way she was acting and NO, I did not think she looked hot. The thing is if she wasn't entertaining an audience, or some such, I wouldn't have been able to identify this behavior of hers so it's questionable if I would've been able to spot her in a crowd. I've been through rather large crowds and I haven't had quite the spidey sense feeling as I had with this particular girl and I suspect similars are in there somewhere.

Anyway, the suspicion she was looking for someone to use seems to agree with her "cutting off" behavior because she could probably intuit I wasn't taking her anywhere when I was leaving as I did... but... I just can't get over the fact she seemed to act/look like a 16 year old, lol, so that wouldn't make sense. I just can't make sense of her ending remark, which is funny because it feels like I've made 95% sense of the entire situation so far, and unfortunate because it potentially carries much weight. Using the term "complete stranger" just doesn't seem accidental unless one were /specifically/ emphasizing the fact, and the question is why. I get she was cutting me off... perhaps she was saving face so it wouldn't look suspicious to her manager. That would explain her reluctant restraint upto that point. But... she just did not look like she was showing restraint to previous customers, waving her boobs all in their face, lol. So why was she showing restraint in my case... because she was trying to restrain herself from ripping my clothes off? lol.

I definitely know for a little bit there, she and I both had that stifled urge to just suddenly rip our clothes off and frock like animals, you could see the frustrated desire in her face and she was definitely thinking it... this was shortly after the start of 'the honeymoon' period of the start of 'the relationship' btw, lol, if that makes sense.

---------------------

Thought about the idea of purchasing the property behind me. Would have a direct connection to the power lines then and would have that much more farm land available. It's a passing thought. Seems like it would be more cost-effective than routing power in directly.

it appears i would have that as possible option with 3 different properties behind me.

When my generator goes out probably in a month or two, I'll find a suitable replacement, but I'm hoping eventually through the job markets or whatever, I would have the cash to route in power /somehow/.

 

[swbluto]

You know, with how aggressively flirting this girl was and her seeming desperation, I wondered if she was looking for a place to stay. It's been a suspicion of mine ever since seeing that girl exposing her shoulder walkingdown the boulevard presumedly after her boyfriend kicked her out due to (maybe) loss of work, but it seems like a similar level of sexual aggression that you just don't normally see in females ever.

So, looking back on when this occured, July 1st... I wondered... when is rent due? I've never paid it in my life, so i would have no idea.

https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/free-books/renters-rights-book/chapter3-4.html

Rent Is Usually Due the First of the Month. Your lease or rental agreement should spell out the details on when rent is due and where and how to pay it. Most leases and rental agreements call for rent to be paid monthly, in advance, on the first day of the month.

Oh, look at that, precisely the same day I met her.

And, seeing these kind of advertisements...

Seems like there's a very plausible underground market here, her being an example of the supply (desperate tenant) and landords (Or those with a similar role, possessors of housing) the demand.

So, I think I might've figured it out. I thought she was so flirty and 'easy' because she was a slut,which she may or may not be, but it kind of looks like can't-pay-the-rent desperation could plausibly drive the same behavior and my best guess for that particular day with that particular girl. As to 'being soulmates'.... that is kind of questionable in light of that.

So she cut me off as to not affect the next person she was interviewing, because she was ultimately looking to use someone.

So that might just have explained the tone of desperation she initially greeted with.

But....she didn't seem to be putting constant pressure on the conversation with me like she appeared to be doing with the other guy (waving boobs in his face as he was leaving). She seemed to be drawing me in like a siren with her seductive voice and oh-so-arousing flirting. And i just can't get over the seeming fact she looked and acted like a 16 year old or not much older.

So, anyway, if this desperate-tenant hypothesis is true, looks like maybe I was right... a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, lol.

 

[Dauntless]

In Hollywood there has probably always been a high incidence of couch surfing, but I'd say it has to be very much on the rise. Now you have people with regular jobs on TV series who are STILL nonetheless homeless. People get a job on someone's low budget feature on the condition that in addition to getting paid they get to sleep on the couch for awhile, etc.

I don't know about anywhere else, I'd expect that places like San Francisco, New York, Boston, with all the high real estate prices and rents, would be crowded with the couch surfers who are employed making what would be a good income elsewhere.

So you're thinking this girl didn't have a car of her own to sleep in.

But dang, I was a HUD investigator in my spare time for awhile there. Never got anything fun sounding like that. It was always things like the live in manager would decide he didn't like kids and start telling people "We don't allow kids in this building," which is illegal but also not the owners fault but it's the owner in trouble. I testified in court on that one. Oh, and there's nothing unusual in SoCal in these hispanic aliens who are English as a Second Language to stop letting anyone but their fellow spanish speaking hispanic aliens into "Their" building and getting the owner in trouble.

The most interesting I ran into was one where the black "Undercover Operative" (Great Hollywood sound, eh?) walked up and came back so dang quick, we don't talk but I know what's going on, l know. So I walk up 10-15 minutes later and they roll out the red carpet and begin this elaborate presentation on their wonderful building, which for those with the money it WAS wonderful, right? Of course I'm thinking about how amazing that someone moved out in the 10-15 minutes between when Sol walked up and when I did. The management company wound up "Hiring" one or more of our people and putting them through an orientation that explained about sending away undesirables with an application and all this idea that they'd be able to move in when an opening occurred but of course they'd never hear from the company.

If there was just a way of doing a reality show like 'REAL Sexual Harassment of Playboy Playmates' where we have the cameras there recording these guys getting too aggressive, etc.

 

[swbluto]

So you're thinking this girl didn't have a car of her own to sleep in.

I highly suspect she did not own a car. She looked 16/17, and if she were much older, not that much older and if her parents didn't buy her a car because they were poor folk, then very likely she didn't own a car. Young folks owning cars seems to be a pretty rare thing across the USA these days, but I thought it was different in Houston, but maybe not that much different.

Past that... it was just the way she was acting... like she really needed someone/something.

Playboy playmates and sexual harrassment, lol. It seems simply weird seeing a girl 'sexually harass' a guy, lol. I don't know if that's what I'd say that's exactly what she was doing, but she wasn't hiding the fact she was looking for something/someone, just don't know exactly what that happened to be.

But if she were sexually harassing men to torment to 'abuse them' (Let's see... get them interested then KNOCK THEM THE HELL DOWN like a 'mean girl' which is what i've been suspecting of her ending remarks)... yeah, that almost seems like what might've been happening. Except she apparently didn't expect to find someone who'd 'fight back' like me, lol. Maybe that's why she was so astonished and so quickly fell under my spell, she found a fighter who wasn't going to take her shit. That does square away with protector theory, where girl will start arguments to test your backbone and ensure you haven't grown weak. Indeed, every time I was getting resistance or aggression from her, I was getting aggressive too.

Actually that seems pretty consistent. She was an attractive popular "mean girl" who was sexually harassing men to invoke their interest, only to find satisfaction in knocking them down, probably for the power trip. So she was a bully and that was her entire motive. It makes me wonder if she does this with everyguy who shows dominance and won't take her shit, relinquishes the goodies. (Essentially, a slut who f's all the dominant alpha males she comes across, in the context of highschool, maybe the jocks.)

I did notice all the other guys were standing back from her and quickly brushed her off, probably because they recognized her kind and intent.

I'll have to say, most grocery clerks aren't pretty mean girls abusing customers for their own satisfaction. And that face that I saw that looked a "troll face" (Head turned to the side to hide the wide grin)... yes... IT PROBABLY WAS. lol

Okay, that's probably why she stood out, the only clerk trolling the customers. And she seemed to be pretty happy with herself, so obviously that's an effective strategy for her own happiness.

Pretty popular girls = trolls? lol. I never really noticed the trend, honestly. But I guess that's why the movie's called mean girls, lol.

So this is the kind of girl you're supposed to "frock and chuck", huh. And maybe she was feeling frustrated by the fact that wasn't going to happen.

You know... she might've already had a boyfriend, seems like pretty girls who troll for fun usually have one. Maybe that'd explain her reluctant restraint (frustration is a better word), she wanted someone like me instead. And maybe that's why she cut me off at the very end, she was being abusive as she already had a boyfriend.

That's an oddly satisfying thought. Stealing attractive girlfriends.

I'm not going to say that with confidence, actually. The way she was acting so excited at the end along with her beginning desperation, I would assume she didn't have a boyfriend, lol. She might've just been a regular manipulative abusive and mean pretty girl, makes her feel good about herself looking at the interest she can attract and the power she wields over men. I would find it strange if I was the only guy who found her exceedingly attractive because while that would be convenient for me (no competition, yay!), doesn't seem realistic, lol.[then again, if I'm rather odd myself, then maybe not all that unrealistic]

------------------

i think my memory's getting vague at this point, lol. I think when she was looking slightly down and huffing and puffing as she was, I think she felt sad because I was leaving her and she didn't want me to. Or sad for some other reason, like she knew it wasn't going to work out for whatever reason.

i think I'm just projecting my current emotion onto her. There was obviously something she wanted that she thought wasn't going to happen, rseegardless if she was horny or sad. Maybe that was hot lusty sex, maybe it was my presence, maybe it was something else.

 

[DAND214]

BOY, wish you wre around 60 years ago. I learned more in a few hours of your BS than my whole life. You know women, you know cars, all about owning property, how a diet should be, what to and not to take, all about solar, and a million more than all of us put together.

So when will we hear about the house build and solar power? I know you will never post any pictures, since the world is after you. When will you find that GIRL of your dreams? As I said before, you should write a book on how to control women. The way you post, it is all about how to.

I thought the title was about forest land and solar power!

Your turn Dauntess.

Dan

 

[slacker]

Stop feeding the troll and he,she,it will starve and go away. why waste your time?.

 

[swbluto]

Wishful thinking slacker! I'm here regardless of lack of response, as I've stated, I'm treating it as my journal.

The beginning of the first stage of the house build looks like about 13 days from now, it'll be cool enough outside to wear long sleeves to keep the mosquitos from biting me.

With my projected finances coming January, seems like I'll have enough to implement solar after January. I'm guessing I might implement it sometime around March, when the sunny months are coming back into play (January is the cloudiest month).

As to girls, ummm.... I'll go with what emerson said. Resignation is confirmed desperation, lol. I just really feel like I have more important things to be focusing on the moment than girls. I think I need a cohabitable structure ("house") and significant enough income before practically pursuing that. The encounter July was enlightening, it highlighted what I didn't really have in place that I would likely need. Dauntless was harping on this yes, and I didn't really think it was important at the time, but with hindsight now, it appears like it's pretty important. So until I get things in place, not a priority.

It seems to me that not having a cohabitable structure (house, apartment, etc.) is pretty much functionally identical to living with your parents, and we all know how often the latter is used in cockblocking attempts, lol.

It is questionable if having a house would've mattered with that girl. I think she might have just wanted sex and she might've been under age. For a few moments there, it seemed like she was imagining our future together with that pensive look, but as soon as she called me a complete stranger in departing, it seemed like it was just a passing feeling for her, lol (Which seemed odd, but then the 'abusive mean girl' explanation would explain that. Then again, maybe she was looking for a place to stay /now/.). [In retrospect, perhaps the passionate love gaze has magical powers that compels the recipient to a sudden whirlwind of lust that must immediately be fulfilled, and this is what she felt compelled to do. But, the effect is temporary in nature. I've seen this talked about, living close to the area where chicks are getting picked up, so the heat of moment doesn't escape you and she backs out. It's just strange thinking that's what was going on, a sudden transient compulsion to go have sex and that's what her frustration was about, she knew it wasn't going to happen right away. I just didn't think it worked like that,but i guess it does for some girls, obediently acting on compulsion without really thinking it thru.]

I think she was exceptionally cute, just I didn't really consciously notice it.

First thing I noticed was "troll face/uncanny smiling behavior", the second thing I noticed was "really fake smile", so her being cute wasn't my first impression.

 

[Dauntless]

Stop feeding the troll and he,she,it will starve and go away. why waste your time?.

Noone is feeding YOU, oh current troll of this thread. I guess we'll see if you're right.

 

[slacker]

noone? a true literary genius. you and the op are made for each other. enjoy your rapture together. peace out.

 

[swbluto]

Let's see if I can come up with formula to predict the number of 4x8s.

#4x8s = (2*L*W+2*L*H+2*W*H)/32

Let's see if this works.

(2*16*8+2*16*8 + 2*8*8)/32 = 20 [Copy and pasted into google for fast calculation]

Looking back on this post at https://endless-sphere.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=82223&start=1725#p1317987 , this formula is confirmed.

So, a 12x16

#4x8s = (2*16*12+2*16*8+2*8*12)/32 = 26

a simplified version of the formula...

#4x8s = (L*W+L*H+W*H)/16

--------------------

I still really need to figure out how to waterproof the OSB satisfactorily for upto 2-3 years of use before siding gets put on during the final stage.

I was thinking as possibilities...

housewrap + black plastic sheeting
housewrap + tarp
suitable wood sealant like Thompson's

The first two would look potentially pretty ugly, so I'm thinking there's another low-cost temporary effective idea out there.

From threads like http://www.doityourself.com/forum/decks-patios-porches-walkways-driveways-stairs-steps-docks/508566-seal-osb-elements.html#b , http://www.woodworkingtalk.com/f8/seal-osb-elements-56390/ , https://www.ridgidforum.com/forum/mechanical-trades/construction-discussion-forum/23968-sealing-osb

I'm getting...

Oil-based primer with latex paint [Unknown longevity; sources suggest latex paint will last 5-7 years on a house.]
Copper wood preservative [Unknown longevity; used for boat construction according to one guy's highschool experience]
Titanium UDL 30 or roof felt underlayment [lasts 6 months]

Looks like a gallon of paint will work upto 400 sq. ft.

so the exterior area that needs to be painted will be 2*L*H+2*W*H... or 2(H*W+H*L)...

2*(8*8+8*16) = 384 sq ft.

So, I'd assume 2 gallons of primer and 2 gallons of paint assuming 1gallon = 1 coat per 400 sqft. and I'm doing 2 coats each.

Gallon of oil-based exterior primer is $20/each.
Gallon of exterior latex pain is $17 each.

So, looks like I'd need $74 in primer and paint costs.

This compares to the 'smart panel' additional cost of $13 more each over OSB, so for a total of 12 I'd need to upgrade (The side sheathing), that'd be $156 more.
--------------------

And, one thing i noticed during the days I would eat lentils and an ordinary amount of bananas, I would get that familiar persisting left jaw pain that I never get when subsisting off of bananas alone, so I've cut back on the lentils for the time being. Seems like larger quantity consumption of any kind of grain regularly produces that jaw pain. This is what the research was telling me, anyway, that there's a .67 correlation between "cereal grain" consumption and heart mortality so my own experience seems to corroborate that. Appears men was designed to subsist off fruits and vegetables.

--------------------

Oh,that smug smile I saw with the flush face after I was leaving. Is this what she was thinking? lol [Because, had the thief not been holding me back, there's a chance it would've become true so she probably wasn't thinking incorrectly, lol.]

So, this is a point for the "She wanted sex" category. She was definitely horny, now her being a slut is a good question.

That entire situation was interesting. Because, she definitely came across as the horny one at first, which I'm guessing made me horny for her in particular (thru her "really effective" flirting which made me bite my hand, lol.), then I made my move, and it made her strongly horny for me in particular, so it was going to work out. And, her being horny is what got the ball rolling. So, if this is true, then there's a good chance I'm not the first person this has happened to. I'm sure there's a number of guys who get horny for a horny chick, for obvious reasons. She was following along for a little bit like she knew what exactly was going down... lol... then she got frustrated because she knew she couldn't because she had to work... lol.

So my initial suspicion, "She wanted a guy who would go directly for the cookie", yeah... I'm pretty confident now that's exactly what she wanted. So my passionate love gaze was probably exactly what she was hoping for, even if she didn't realize it beforehand. (She may not have ever experienced the gaze, like myself never having experienced giving it or really even having foreknowledge of it.)

Makes me wonder if I'm more "gay" than I want to admit, lol.

Man, she was such an attractive girl for being a horny chick... I must got f'in lucky that particular day.

That girl, I think this is all I really wanted to do.

Exactly what I was imagining, forceful and not taking no for an answer and everything.

 

[Dauntless]

noone? a true literary genius. you and the op are made for each other. enjoy your rapture together. peace out.

There was no need to confirm your status, I guess that was your hunger speaking. But in the name of being more gracious than yourself, well, thank you.

 

[slacker]

dauntless,zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Your mindless drivel is nothing new.

 

[Dauntless]

You consider your stalking me to be original? Fascinating. Are you considering yourself well fed, at that?