Buying forest land, implementing solar

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Reading about the nature of foot infections, at least diabetic people, makes it seem like a highway to death.

Non-healing ulcers lead to amputation in 84 percent of lower extremity amputations in diabetic patients. The mortality frequency of diabetic patients after major amputation ranges from 11 to 41 percent by year one, 20 to 50 percent by year three, and 39 to 68 percent by year five. Infections may spread rapidly and be limb- or life-threatening.

So if it doesn't heal, you most likely going to get amputated, and likely die within 5 years.

Appears there are antibiotic treatment and surgical procedures that don't require amputation. But surgery itself would seem to carry some high risks on its own, normally.
 
Just came back from the urgent care.

$100 for going, $35 for the tetanus shot they "highly recommended" (With an unknown vaccine history, they said "You're getting one"), and then $15 for the antibiotics. She said "tetni will kill you".

Since cleaning it off yesterday and letting it dry so the puncture wound would close, seems like the foot pain has markedly decreased as compared to yesterday. Hardly painful at all today, walking on it, unlike yesterday. Pain and sensitivity of the swelling to touch is markedly less today.

Should I take that as a sign of it receding and avoid these antibiotics whom "I will definitely notice"(Pharmacist's words)? Or should I go ahead and start the antibiotic schedule?

It's somewhat extensive, so not something I'd normally want to give an opportunity to "get worse". But, I don't like taking unnecessary drugs if I can avoid it.

And if it were to "get worse", you'd think I'd notice. I speculate it was getting worse primarily because the wound hadn't closed off, but dried it out and closed it off yesterday, and pain and tenderness gone down markedly.

Anyway, I'm helluva lot more wary of foot wounds now. They seem particularly prone to infection being inside the dirty sweaty shoe most of the time, especially with dirty socks, so I will be A LOT MORE CAUTIOUS next time.
Think the wound actually happened around Dec 16, so about 4 weeks ago. I only recently noticed it because I found walking on my foot unusually painful and my dirty sock kept sticking to my foot, so I changed out with new socks and then noticed it. Turns out, it was sticking to the wound, probably infecting it.

The pharmactist was like "Haven't I seen you in here before?", and that'd be a negative, and then he was like "So and so's son looks just like you and she favors him", I just chuckled. Yeah, I guess I'm a favorite at times, lol. MOST OF THE TIME, however... lol

Using any antibiotic when it is not needed can cause it to not work for future infections.

And that'd be the incentive to not take it.

And the side effects:

Vomiting, severe stomach pain, or diarrhea.

Yeah, this is what the pharmacist remarked on, diarrhea and upset stomach.

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Think I'll review it tomorrow morning, and make a decision then. Give it a good 2 days to evaluate symptoms to determine the likely disease course. In the meantime, treat with kit and gloves. Clean it up and use the gauze.
 
Antibiotics. I sure don't take those. But I have enough digestive 'Attention Getters.'

But I'm not a hypochondriac. After the tetanus shot the antibiotics are probably nothing.

As Dan kept telling you, showers are GOOD things. So is doing your laundry.
 
Gee, I was wondering why I seem to be so completely sapped of energy during the middle of the day. Barely had enough energy to move the logs as desired. The same logs I had no fudging problem moving yesterday.

Tiredness. You may feel tired or drowsy following your tetanus vaccination. This is a completely common side effect.

Even went to sleep, from 2 to 4:40 p.m.; just woke up. Right ulnar nerve seems bugged in elbow, feel numbness in right pinky. Think it's abating.

@Dauntless, yeah, laundering and showering would've likely prevented it from being unnoticed and "unaddressed" for so long. Though I'd think a bath might be likelier at noticing the infection at the bottom of the foot.

Something I hope to get in the new house. Have the bathroom assembly just sitting in boxes in this one, just waiting. Even have the laundry machine standing in the yard, tarped over and chained to the tree.

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Cleared out the remaining logs and trees, and devised an accuracy ensuring plan for planting the flags to mark the ends. Tomorrow comes flag planting and the actual digging. Think I'll go shallow on all the holes, except for ones surrounding the external doors, I'll go deep on those for the concrete to ensure a stable foundation for the external doors. This way, they shouldn't normally just get hard to close over time. Doing it this way, would be fast, easy and fairly cost effective and get the results I want.

The shallow holes seem to be working well for this house, except for the impact on the external doors. Even then, it seems like weighting down a part of the house affects the front door more than possible foundation issues.

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https://blog.bulletproof.com/carb-cycling-diet/

Carbs help your mucus membranes produce the mucus that lines your gut and nasal passages, and keeps your eyes hydrated. Some people notice that after long-term carb restriction to 50 grams per day or less, their eyes become irritated. This is a sign that other necessary mucus membranes aren’t working as well as they could be.

Burning fat for fuel doesn’t work for everyone. Some people lack the genes that help us process fat, so they will not use it as efficiently. In the majority of people, adapting to fat burning ramps up the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, which gives you more energy.[8] In some people, long-term carb restriction stresses the HPA axis, which makes you feel tired all the time.

Seems to clearly suggest "low carb" (50 grams or less per day) isn't optimal.

Just trying to figure out what I can do to address this tooth recession. Eating too many bananas seems to worsen it, so I'm thinking that logically too much sugar is problematic. But too much carbs? Do carbs matter (Blood sugar->tooth recession)? How low can I go... probably not less than 50g/day is advised.

Started eating potatos today and avoiding bananas. Figured out that timing 1 hour 5 minutes from the time the oven is turned on is ideal for cooking potatos in the 45-55 minute time frame they need. Tried 55 minutes wrapped in aluminum foil, a bit undone. Didn't have the appetite for it, either, it seemed, but ate it anyways because I seemed to be sapped. Think maybe I should be eating it earlier in the morning, that seems to be when the body is usually wanting of carbs.

While fasting in effect, my thinking seemed rather clear and mood fairly buoyant.

Haven't had palpitations since yesterday. Don't know if it's because the "heart break" is over, and the "stunned heart" returned back to normal, but it's suspect. The maliciously intended heart break on Jan 1 seemed to cause palpitations from Jan 5 to Jan 13. Could be calling the end of 'em a little too early, but it's definitely suspect. Don't normally have palpitations. Palpitations under stress or physical effort indicates a "weak heart", and a heart break's "stunned heart" essentially causes a weak heart, but temporary according to the research.

Of course, I also ended up effectively writing them off yesterday, too...

According to wiki, limerence causes palpitations. "Unrequited love"
 
Stock watchlist (email received 1:23 p.m., just checking prices at 6:39 pm; actually, let's just look back at the prices as they were at 1:30 p.m.)

MBOT - 16.82 (CRASHED BY 5 p.m., now at 9.8 )

KTOV - 2.64

VHC - 5.41

BSQR - 2.59

ADIL - 8.24

The goal is to collect many datapoints on these "hot stock tips" and see if a trading algorithm can be devised to predictably profit off of them. The way these points are discovered, what's gone up over the last day or week or so... seems like a rather unreliable way of scoring many winners, since I'd tend to think by the time I get the email, the stock has maximized its publicity, thus... it's price peak. Granted, depends on the market cap and volume of the stock, too, I'm sure these hot stock tips have little impact on the blue chips, but might tend to cause pump-and-dump patterns in the low cap stocks (penny stocks, etc.)

But I'm willing to put in the footwork to see if one can profit off of "the tips", somehow.
 
Day 2 after initial discovery and treatment, foot infection seems to be clearly receding. No soreness or tenderness when palpating. Antibiotics will not be used. The solution was cleaning the wound and drying it off so that it could close, and after it closed and keeping it dry for some time thereafter, it remained closed and the body's immune system effectively could do its job. And unlike a diabetic person, my immune system is not compromised, so this is to be expected.

Not what I was initially expecting, but that's because I didn't fully understand the nature of it. The cause and effect. And didn't know how effective my immune system was in the context of a big scary extensive infection. But, this adds a clear data point.

Based on the research, my thoughts on "big infection" is basically one way bacteria culls the least fit (immunologically fit) from the population. Immunologically fit seems to tie in with diabetes and vascular diseases, suggesting tie ins with binge eating(diabetes) and insufficient physical activity (diabetes,vascular). Probable tie ins with "being the unloved"(vascular).

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[youtube]kPUSA2UqLzc[/youtube]

I find it interesting that this song implies school shootings are primarily "class warfare" at the heart of it.

My thoughts are... hardly.

More than often in this particular age group, more often related to sexual frustation or its antecedents (Thwarted ambition, inadequate employment,etc.)
 
An infection does not have to be manifested on the surface. The antibiotics are more to prevent new problems that to fix the original. You can get an infection in your heart. Especially if there is already a problem making it vulnerable.

How would 'Thwarted ambition, inadequate employment. . . .' be so overwhelming in high school? Most kids aren't much ambition, those who are (Myself, etc.) simply get redirected because there is so much ambition. I should think it's more about a kid that doesn't know what else to do with himself. Some comparison to self cutting.

How about music more on topic with that? 'You're under 18 you won't be doing any time. . . .'

[youtube]c5JD91ntl4I[/youtube]
 
Highschool kids. Hmmm.

Well, seemed like most recent shooters /just/ graduated highschool, or are in college somewhere. But, that's true, the originals were definitely right in highschool, columbine.

Columbine's motivations are not very clear cut. I'd suspect narcissism, "evil personalities" and just plain aggressiveness along with the folie a deux affect (Getting into a mutually amplifying sense of madness with your friend and getting carried away so easily...) would explain that particular one. Then again, maybe class warfare is a good hypothesis, they were goths after all, not the preps.

I've experienced folie a deux with a friend before, it's fun.

Just googled "I should write her off" and google is telling me...

[youtube]ziaoLnh_1X8[/youtube]

After what she did, should I really be listening TO THESE PUNKS? lol.

"If you leave her now, he'll get her".

YEAH, THAT ALREADY HAPPENED. And so the point is... what exactly...

Should've written her off long ago... I guess... Plenty fish in the sea. As I've said, 1 in a 100. Or 500. 1 every 2 months.

"You won't find one better".

DAMN, DO NOT TELL ME THESE THINGS, lol.
 
Good find. Only about $22,000 starting to buy a home there (Including required renovation). Think I'll make one of those my vacation home, lol.

But, have to do my demographic due digilence there. Any locally despised racial minorities that predominate the area? Not being racist, just rather not live in an area where getting violently threatened is "an everyday thing".

Think it's funny my persuasion letter is my telling her "You don't deserve me, I'm too good for you, you just don't meet the standard, etc.", lol. Telling that to a pretty girl with lots of options, y'know. I just think it's funny to think it might work.

It's interesting, because it's not like I was following some kind of formula, it was just like expressing how I'm really feeling. And her bratty self really didn't really deserve me, her better.
 
haha, looks like Amanda correctly analogized me to the main character in Napolean Dynamite :lol:

saw a pic of her natural brown hair AND I KNEW IT! there's no way in hell that girl's a blonde.

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Dang, the IRS is making it hard to pay them. Can't seem to log in with the draconian verification steps they have in place. Ultimately sent it to my mail, but didn't offer a way to change the mailing address, so I don't know where they sent it.

Think I should put in a temp mail redirect anyway.

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And this is bullcrap, can't do my change of address online. Needs to verify with a credit card that matches the old address, and all those are defunct. Think maybe I'll do this step at the post office, something tells me they don't have LABYRINTHINE STEPS like that there, lol.

This would have prevented my parents from adding my redirect, though, so good idea.

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And I think about Amanda, in how the bond has been permanently VIOLENTLY AND TRAUMATICALLY broken, it'd seem. Seems like needless waste of something that could've been much greater.

I start to think about how if I were to have had start searching for a girl when I was "actually fully ready"(As I'm hazily intending now), more than likely, I would've never come across this girl in the first place. So, with that in mind, I think I should view this as a fairly beneficial cautionary tale.

Seems like I was making her feel down. Purportedly "talking a lot of shit" to other people in her games. I think maybe that'd be a good sign, I have influence. She did prefer me to begin with over this other guy, anyway. If she preferred him, she wouldn't have been latching on up until I withdrew, she would have initiated the breakup earlier.

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oh em gee, still affecting me. Told myself not to look at her feed again, and bah. Suffering the effects of it, despite my thinking I was now "indifferent". bahahaha, I was deluding myself. The original intention was so I wouldn't fall into a state of depression, and don't think that's a concern anymore, but now I'm realizing there's other issues at play, and this seems to be an uphill battle.

Think maybe if I find a new focus, should avert the issue.

That girl attacks below the belt, doesn't she...

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rediscovering-love/201612/do-you-hit-below-the-belt-when-you-fight

Do You Hit Below the Belt When You Fight?

When couples argue, they often challenge one another with punch and counter-punch attacks. As tempers rise and defenses emerge, partners rapidly stop
 
[youtube]5RYY0hwHIRw[/youtube]


WOWOWOWOWOW.... me and sia, WOW. "So many red flags", FUDGE. The song summarizes the Amanda possibility to a TEE, wow.

"So many red flags"
"Thought might be the one"
"it's hard to lose a chosen one"
"You did not break me", said in an unconvincingly saddened way, lol. (Just what I told Amanda, you didn't break my heart)

Figured out that amanda's posts have essentially been "red lights" and "green lights". Ever since the 1st (When she was taken), it's been non-stop red lights as I later find out, sometimes the next day.

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Amanda seems to be talented at... mind influencing... via insinuation. Maybe another word for it is mental manipulation. It was hard necessarily spotting this when it was generating lust (Or love), but it's pretty easy to spot the trend when it's causing anti-lust and other negative sentiments. She appears to have a talent with "mind control".

And this would be a sign of... a sociopath, no... yes...

I suspect this may have something to do with her apparent facebook popularity.

https://www.decision-making-confidence.com/mind-control.html

Who would use these techniques, destroying the lives of others for their own selfish benefits? Or manipulating others simply because they can or because they want the control? The answer is psychopaths, or sociopaths, and narcissists. Probably the vast majority of extreme manipulative men and women who use mind control fit the profile of a psychopath or a narcissist. And the reason they can do it is because they have no conscience!

Hah, well wouldn't this be funny. I happen to love her because she's like myself, a psychopath.

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narcissist-n-a-more-polite-term-for-a-self-serving-manipulative-11800224.png


Hahaha... this mirrors my recent sentiments of her.

I just called her a loser and we're now (almost) even.
 
Just planted the flags and squared the building while doing that (Using the middle intersecting string method, got my flags within an inch in terms of building width and length.) and, wow, this 24x28 house actually looks pretty large just looking at the flags. Neat. I know that my old house had a footprint of 1000 sqft. (2 floor, total 2000 sqft.), so I guess 700 sqft would also explicably look "similarly large".

Next step is digging.

Just got done digging most of the end holes, continuing with the row holes tomorrow. 4 foot spacing, per code.
 
Interesting this site is talking about a GIRL's attachment styles and this caught my eye.

The fearful attachment style is far more explicitly toxic. Why would you want someone to fall in love with you who wonders if you’re tricking them or trying to take advantage of them? The first three can all fall in love with you, while the fourth will always keep you at arm’s length.

https://theartofcharm.com/art-of-dating/the-science-behind-what-makes-a-woman-fall-in-love-with-you/

"You're tricking them or taking advantage of them".

HUH. Well, this would almost seem to be my style, I guess.

And seems to become most acute after becoming attached.

I don't actually let that affect my "pursuit" of them, not too much... well, maybe a little... depends if I see warning signs... like maniacal or power tripping facial expressions shortly after inviting me...

It's interesting how I was like during attachment or very shortly after, "That was a malicious smile, wasn't it"... but then I recently looked, and certainly didn't see one. Thinking maybe it was a misinterpretation during the state of being intentionally hurt. (There's no doubt that was intentional, girls don't mention who they're sleeping with unless there's a specific reason for it, and that reason was definitely what I soon experienced, getting traumatized and hurt.)

There's no doubt the first maniacal and power tripping facial expressions were there. She deleted the power tripping one before I made mention of it to her, so THERE'S THAT, lol.

The anxious girl isn’t opposed to intimacy but wants way ore of it than is appropriate for the relationship.

Intimacy = sex. What's wrong with wanting "way too much of that"? lol

The adventurous Aries falls for people who are exactly like them. Though the relationship appears quite nteresting in the beginning, it loses its momentum slowly and both the partners try to dominate another. This results in failure of the relationship.

Rather, the Aries should date someone who is their polar opposite in order to have a long and stable relationship.

SHIIIZ, I think it's exactly right!!!

Found it funny that past the relationship, it seems like Amanda and I are just dominating each other. I do it purely for practical reasons.

I'm questioning how effective calling her a loser was in that regard.

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I think it's funny I keep on playing these depressing "relationship trouble" / "ex" songs. I wonder if I've always been attracted to them, or just a recent interest. lol

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Stopped posting to facebook. Sent the last message and wrote her off, feeling pretty solid about that by now. Noticed I felt much better no longer 'being exposed'.

Looks like I'm not the only one.

https://www.theguardian.com/media/2016/sep/21/does-quitting-social-media-make-you-happier-yes-say-young-people-doing-it

Does quitting social media make you happier? Yes, say young people doing it

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https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/valley-girl-brain/201001/do-girls-really-love-assholes

Think it's interesting reading of "the badboy".

Treating them badly and "not being available" to them.

Funny, seems to be what exactly I turned into after amanda broke my heart. I don't want anything to do with her, and I'm treating her rather badly, lol. Name calling, more specifically.

I guess the secret is to think these beautiful girls are stuck up pieces of crap idiotically vain about their looks, and treat them accordingly. You don't want a piece crap around, and you call them as they are, as they behave. If they're treating you badly or acting vain or otherwise making you angry, don't hold back. For example if they're ignoring you and that's making you angry... get angry at them and call them out... (I'm not basing that on experience, but I do have experience with "Getting angry at them and calling them out", and yeah... that gets girls attached.)

I don't expect her and I to go anywhere (She's a rent hoe, she going to the person with a place, first), just remarking on the "interaction" so far.

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Was about to post to facebook, but then "just didn't feel like it".

So I'll post it here.

Feels good just focusing on the business and construction and ignoring facebook.

Today was cold and didn't feel like digging holes, so I called today off. Got the end holes done though, just need to get 42 row holes finished.

Pretty much, I dislike everything upto the foundation, but it's a necessary evil regardless. Everything past the foundation is pretty fun (Wood work).

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https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=132029

Basically he then yells at me , calls me a LOSER. Says he is too good for me and takes off.

Wow, it looks like I'm not the first one to have this pattern.

Except first came the yelling and saying I was too good for her, and then calling her a loser. Then, deleting myself from facebook, "taking off" if you will, lol.

So boyfriend has been $$$ suppoting me for about a month now.
When we met i was finacially awesome. Recently i lost my job. This has caused MANY fights. Now he is paying my rent , other bills blah blah....

She does appear to have an irregular job history.

I then start calling him about 100 times , crying "please come back , please come back"
He says NO , i am gonna teach you a lesson.

Well, don't think that's happened, but I have a feeling she has a history here, and she probably experiencing deja vu, lol.

When i am on my feet , i am fine
its just been these last 3 months...
unemployed..
i am devistated at the moment
he is such a alpha male

Ohhhh, I am. lol
 
Remember seeing this "green detox" guy's youtube ad warning about banana consumption, he said it's linked to blood sugar, insulin sensitivity, and weight gain.

When I was eating 12 bananas a day or thereabouts, I noticed that's when I was having cardiac symptoms at 4 a.m. in the morning, and my weight scale later told me I weighed 26 BMI. Cut back on the bananas, and the 4 a.m. cardiac wakeups have pretty much disappeared, and now trying to replace the bananas with starches to halt or reverse the gum recession, noticing symptoms seems particularly acute after high fruit sugar intake (eating too many bananas). Right middle bottom tooth's nerve had been sensitive, and since integrating the potatos, have not had a problem with the sensitivity and feels like there's partial reemergence of the gumline.

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ANYWAY, was looking at a cheaper state to build a mansion, and among the possibilities, South Carolina looked the most appealing. Charleston, SC is quite the charmer. .6% vs 2% real estate taxes in Texas, and real estate prices are comparable.

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Didn't think it had the intended affect. She looks rather titillated knowing that she's in my sights, lol. :lol:

I'm just kidding... I think...

I read if one gets called a loser with laughter following, that's a good sign. I was laughing plenty, lol.

0509578ff6df956789972c4b0573ad9538063a-wm.jpg


Wonder how literal that's meant...

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I think the word is "wild eyed". Yep, exactly the kind of look the heb chick had.

I keep thinking this girl is a hoe.

Let's see, the heb chick had this look after I gazed into her eyes and she learned about my having a house. And, I angrily called her a piece of shi...

And this girl, I called her a LOSER.

And, that one book had the phrase "Wild eyed with desire".

And found another place that uses this phrase.

She looked up at him wild-eyed with desire as he started to unfasten the buckle of his belt. His body was supple and muscular with not a spare inch of flesh.

I guess being wild eyed indicates lust, then. Funny, since I don't think I'm lusting for her nearly as much.

So I guess this girl loves the anger, belittlement and getting called names. Like a hoe.

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Yep, always knew it. I'm a real man.

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https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/jayme-closs-apos-relative-apos-195615911.html

Seeing this, I suspected this was another "20-something murderer", and sure enough, the perp is 21. Just right in that "likely age range" for males, under 25.

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Think I'm getting rather depressed thinking this girl is a hoe. Because, I don't realistically see much in the way of longevity, which is where my hopes and dreams were originally placed. This is in turn seems to be sapping my house building morale, with the question brewing, "What am I striving towards, exactly?".

Advice to self: Ignore her and forget about her.

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Mexican neighbor couldn't pay taxes and looks like he's been foreclosed and he's moving away. At least the animals aren't there anymore.

He and his vehicle is still there as of this morning.

Methinks... YES YES... las terroristas are moving away!

This neighborhood should be getting a lot calmer, now. Why I moved here in the first place, less mexican, should be less troublesome. And it has been generally that way, but there's been periodic flareups with them here.

I don't mind them too much, but at times I have wished this was a peaceful homogeneous neighborhood.

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Looks like it just took 5 or 6 small potatos to get the "day started". Wasn't because of morale, was because I didn't eat enough "just yet" to get the day properly started. So I think this would correspond to a 700 calorie breakfast?

A small baked potato (about 2 inches in diameter) has about 130 calories

Yep, looks like it takes about 5 small potatos. Plus some fat/protein.
 
Just a thought. I think of South Carolina as where Utopia would be set, just from the way Sir Thomas Moore's traveler was described as arriving. They were the garden spot of the early colonies. Utopia would be created before anyone in Europe or probably even the Indians actually knew the eastern seaboard and it's totally an accident Moore would depict Utopia as being THERE. But it works.

swbluto said:
"You're tricking them or taking advantage of them".

HUH. Well, this would almost seem to be my style, I guess.

And seems to become most acute after becoming attached.

That's the way so many people work, you're not the only one. And I have to recognize that in a world where so many seek so much more than they should be seeking, it seems natural to believe you have to trick someone before someone else does. Like, maybe my refusal to act that way left me behind.

swbluto said:
It's interesting how I was like during attachment or very shortly after, "That was a malicious smile, wasn't it"... but then I recently looked, and certainly didn't see one.

Yeah, I have this picture of two of my older sisters, a brother, another relative, when they were small. In the family we see the evil smile of the two sisters, the more friendly look of the relative, the strained fearfulness of the brother. But people who barely know them don't see it, except sort of unfriendliness in one sister, etc. Not the same as those who know them see it. Probably not so much a misinterpretation as seeing beyond the surface. There's also the picture of the brother with me about the same time and I'm me as always and he's desperate as always. People say they see the difference in us but not really that he seems so bad, if they didn't know him. If they did they say "Yeah. . . ."

swbluto said:
I'm questioning how effective calling her a loser was in that regard.

There was an intended effect? As for laughter when calling you a loser, ever heard the expression 'The greatest lie is the truth?' It has to do with telling the truth as though you don't mean it.

swbluto said:
Wonder how literal that's meant...Let's see, the heb chick had this look after I gazed into her eyes and she learned about my having a house. And, I angrily called her a piece of shi...

Normal for a girl to have a spotty employment history in her 20's if she's not planning a career. Sometimes even is she IS. No shock women are looking for someone to make their life easier. Hey, I got stories:

So two girls from my teen years. One grew up fairly close by, didn't know her THAT well. Once I escaped to the public high school she gave a brief flirtation then let me know she'd decided she wasn't interested. After graduation she married an older man, I assume there's the explanation. A few years later as she's getting divorced her friend asked why she married the guy. She said because she'd be able to move out of her parents house, he'd buy her a car. She had that car as she comes skulking around when I have a house already.

In that same time there was another girl who showed initial interest, maybe she'd learned the other guy had a trust fund when she turned her back on me, maybe not. But she made a beeline to him, he had a house before me as a teenager. By the time I'm graduating from college they were "Graduating" to a rented garage; this trust fund wasn't holding up. Neither was the marriage. But now I had a house and she took notice, neither of them could afford to move on their own. Oops, he found a school teacher, I think older than him, to move it with. No, she didn't get to move in with me.

People talked about my Father as a 'Builder.' Built his family, yeah, a 'House.' Built a club that survived his death. Just an expression.

And I have digging to do. I want to break up the roots on my sewer main that keep making me need the rotorouter, I ran a house to a spot it wouldn't feed any more and measured it. But I started to dig 3 feet deep before the week of nonstop rain started, now it's muddy.
 
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Funny, what I called Amanda. lol

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Yep, what I'm anticipating. Going to show upto my 25 year (Let's see... that's 18+25 = 43) ... with lots to show for it. Think maybe Amanda was a popular girl back in highschool, so quite fitting I'm calling her a loser.

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With a proper clean open house coming up, first things first. Time to get a piano! I'm relishing the opportunity to play Malaguena once more.

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She shattered what I can confidently identify as a sexual bond (She broke it by implying she was going to sleep with the guy pictured who was happily smiling, and her standing right next by). Since then, now 19 days later, it seems like I have no sexual attraction to her.

So, I'm not really sure what there is to pursue in this girl, now, HYPOTHETICALLY speaking.

Maybe there's something worthwhile I haven't thought of, but...

I'd think the sexual bond is rather fudging important. It'd seem hard to commit to someone where that particular bond had been mutilated and left to rot.

So I'm thinking it'd be a better idea to find someone else where it can develop unbroken and unshattered, just like it had been with my sister and my parents. They didn't have the bond fudging shattered by the significant other.

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So, got 6 out of 7 row holes done. Tomorrow comes the last of it, then getting materials.

Think I'll get the blocks from wally tomorrow evening. Better to do it in the dark because the picky cops can't see the broken mirror too readily. And better during "rush hour", hidden among all the cars.

Figure an average of 4.5 blocks per hole, and there are 42+14 = 56 holes, implies 56*4.5 = 252 blocks. At $2 each, that implies $500 for blocks. Another $100 for gravel and concrete. Seems viable and under projected cost (Think I projected $800).

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Did find it interesting, the periodic "infatuation flareup", an emotional sensation that lasted like 2 seconds, that I experienced with that gal post the breakup. I'm rather curious about that sensation.
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A key hormone released during sex is oxytocin, also known as the ‘cuddle hormone’. This lowers our defences and makes us trust people more, says Dr Arun Ghosh, a GP specialising in sexual health at the Spire Liverpool Hospital.

It’s also the key to bonding, as it increases levels of empathy.

So that's the neurochemical I was feeling! The great streams of empathy I felt as I felt so wrong in calling her a cunt, even though she had intentionally greatly hurt me. So, that was oxytocin, huh.

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As a result, kissing kick-starts multiple mechanisms in the brain, releasing chemicals that lower stress and boost mood, says Dr Ghosh.

‘You’ll have much better sex if you kiss before intercourse,’ says Dr Ghosh.

It increases levels of the pleasure hormones and will make you a lot more receptive to what happens later.

Oh, interesting, so that's why kissing is the gateway drug. That's why my thought, "I only just wanted to kiss her" was so naive, lol. Just like Mr.Brightside's song "But it was just a kiss!".

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With the TIA that admanda gave me that one day, I'm thinking I need to look into stroke risk reduction.

A significant decrease in ischemic stroke risk was observed for drinking at least one cup of tea weekly (P=0.015) when compared with infrequent or nondrinkers, the risk reduction being largest by drinking one to 2 cups of green or oolong tea daily. Significant inverse dose-response relationships were also found for years of drinking and the amount of dried tea leaves brewed. The adjusted ORs for the highest level of consumption in terms of frequency of intake, duration of drinking, and average tea leaves brewed were 0.61 (95% CI, 0.40 to 0.94), 0.40 (95% CI, 0.25 to 0.64), and 0.27 (95% CI, 0.16 to 0.46), respectively.

Okay, 2 cups of green tea a day. Not sure what "average tea leaves brewed" means... brewing leaves directly? Or bags?

https://www.ahajournals.org/doi/10.1161/STROKEAHA.113.003131

This review paper is a bit more modest. Odds ratios of .85 or thereabouts.
 
Okay, so a house in east houston got invaded (mexican, maybe black, neighborhoods over there), and the perps got shot, and 4 out of 6 died.

And, with the mexican neighbor's foreclosure happening, the 20-something guy living there has taken a liking to get right next to our property line where his fence is, and then empty his gun into the sky, while I'm quietly working outside (In other words, I'm not provoking anyone). At least I think I'm pretty quiet. Not really because I'm trying to be quiet, just run out of topics to talk about with the dog around midday, lol. (That'd be 100 feet away from where I am.)

So... thinking it might be wise to prepare somehow. I'm not feeling particularly bellicose myself, but I understand how the impoverished sure can. So far, I've been ignoring it, doesn't really seem like a legit threat like the old neighborhood with the meth-heads and drug lords was. But with a foreclosure happening and with unpredictable "poor violent mexicans", can't be so assured certain matters haven't been scheduled.

Reading that the eviction from foreclosure typically takes 14-30 days, fair to speculate the "closing date" was Jan 1. (Or possibly earlier)

Meaning, they should be gone by Feb 1.

Seems like typically the "Shooting gun into the air" behavior usually means... 1) anger or 2) trying to establish territorial lines.

Fair to speculate either could be the motive. "Better not step foot on this property after I leave", lol

Anger could come from resentment of seeing this young whippersnapper building his own place and doing peachy, while they aren't. Jealousy is a green eyed monster.

https://study.com/academy/lesson/green-eyed-monster-meaning-lesson-quiz.html

The green-eyed monster can lead even the most respected and beloved men to murder.

[The proper term for possessions or accomplishments is "envy"; jealousy = love.]

It's interesting to see that the person with the most expensive house is getting foreclosed, while everyone who built their own place (Including myself) is doing just fine. And, among those people, I happen to be the only person constructing proper wooden houses in this neighborhood.

Did I ever get jealous of anyone in the Amanda thingamajigger? Nope, not really. I rather became depressed, hurt and angry when she intentionally maximized the shock, trauma and pain.

Granted, maybe it was to teach me a lesson. If you're going to take a girl, you better not ... walk away. And if you do, you better not look back!! lol

The mexican family is there largely because they got in during the mortgage heydays where EVERYONE could have a house. Purchased in 2007. So them getting evicted is a strong sign that this land is being reclaimed by the wealthier segments of society, and its population is in effect 'gentrifying'.

I should get the siding on it before the bank sells it. And at the current pace, that seems likely. Plan to side it after the floor frame is constructed (In 5 days?)

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You are so right, love doesn't "find" people. Dating for me is a numbers game, if you're going out on 2-3 dates a week eventually you will like someone and someone will like you back.

My best piece of advise on dates is to be fun and authentic. Do not try to sell yourself. You should be on this date to see if this guy works for YOU. Not trying to see if he's interested in you. I've kind of read a couple of your relationship posts now and you seem like you're trying your darnedest to be what guys are looking for. Stop doing that, be whatever you want. People in general like people who like themselves and are comfortable with themselves. I'm not saying you're uncomfortable with yourself but you are a beautiful lady and your looks certainly aren't holding you back. Also it might help to read up on some psychology behind dating. I.e. The whole don't txt back right away rule is mentioned because people are generally attracted to someone who appears busy with a full life.

8 months ago
But what if we can't get dates? i hate when people give this advice... like the whole problem stems from OP not getting asked out on dates. I get that it is a numbers thing, but what if you aren't getting numbers? It makes you feel like you have no options

I like how he makes it sound so easy, "Just go out on 2-3 dates a week". How the fudge do you score a date to begin with?

Wait, I bet this "he" is a "she" and ALRIGHTY THEN, that makes sense, lol. Of course it's so easy for that person.

This whole idea of "dates" doesn't really make sense to me, it seems like my past experience is based basically on "taking a girl", there's no dates involved at all to establish the relationship. Granted, maybe that will be a future development when I actually have the requirements in order. (For a guy, having a [SUITABLE] place.)

Step 1) Find a girl you like who's looking for a place
Step 2) Mention having that place, see how she responds. If favorably, goody gum drops. She should be basically throwing herself at you at this point, so there's little room for confusion.
Step 3) Followup, regardless of what she says. If she hasn't blocked you yet, just keep following up every so often. Probably should meet this person eventually, lol... amanda segued into that step by inviting me to her workplace to meet.

Unlike others, I don't seem to "fudging hate" being single. But, I could understand it if there were financial anxieties attached to the notion like could likely be the case for a renter female. A girl might have trouble meeting the sec+first+last deposit, if she blows her money or doesn't make enough. And, I think this was the Amanda girl.

There are upsides in being attached to a girl you like, though. I won't say they are "overwhelming upsides", but pretty nice. It's like adding the frosting to a plain cupcake.

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Just got "finished" with the holes and realized I started off on the wrong hole with the east side, so all the holes are wrong. I need to create a new full set of holes, which I'm thinking will be finished by tomorrow. It was started on the wrong hole because the first hole was obscured by the dark deep red pine bark that had long been decomposing there, so it wasn't really visible. No obvious "Sand pit" (Probably should kept digging for it).

The only "correct row" is the very last row, and that's when I noticed the problem. Last row wasn't lined up with the previous row.
 
Went to home depot and getting a delivery of blocks and gravel. Figure the cost advantage of DIY was marginal, due to the weight limitations of my vehicle (1000 pounds at a time) and the required number of trips ($25 worth), and the additional cost of not being able of taking advantage of bulk pricing for that number of blocks ($45). So, essentially, I spent $10 to get delivery which seemed well worth it. A house of this size, I'm going to get plenty of working out opportunities just building it, best to conserve and wisely allocate energies.

Just too bad I didn't get this done during the last delivery before the new year. I'm aware of it now going forward.

Without suitable large storage options, pretty much everything but the trusses and drywall can be ordered and delivered ahead of time.

HD had the best prices on 12x12 blocks. Walmart didn't even have them in stock ("Getting them in next week" so he told me), and the local hardware store was 2.29 per block vs. 1.52 at home depot.

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Should have thought thru the floor frame when digging the holes. Not a problem having extra holes, just wasted effort.

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While standing in line at HEB, saw this somewhat attractive chubbier girl using her cellphone and appeared to be looking at Tinder. She did not appear associated with anyone at HEB, "alone". Saw plenty of pairings, figure it tends to happen right after christmas.

The equivalent to Amanda, an attractive rather proud blond, had following her an obvious athlete type with what I might consider a masculine face, steel cut jawline or some such. Interesting contrast to Amanda's bae.

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Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen

Noticed while petting the dog so excessively, the cloyishness was repelling, so then I started stomping his feet and his tail started wagging.

That's right, tream 'em mean, keep 'em keen.

I get the sense mean = play.

I think the concept tends to work with attractive females because it conveys her inferior status relative to the male. Superiors tend to abuse subordinates.
 
Had a dream, in this dream, some girl admitted "I want to find a guy with a lot of money and spend it all".

This was Amanda, eh? She had the "hoe indicators" and this be their reputation.

Interestingly, this did mirror my fear of her in particular, getting taken advantage of, maneater style. DID NOT have this fear of all girls, in particular, no fear from the construction store girl. That girl was like a "normal girl" in comparison.

Among "my dreams of past baes", the heb chick ones were the most innocent.

It's interesting to think how Amanda might've reacted to the news I spent my christmas earnings on a new house. She probably thinking "That's money I could've spent!!", lol, and it's quite fitting I called her what she was, LOSER.

Saw that someone built this barnlike structure (large shed, probably 300-400 sqft.) on the main highway, painted red, and appears they're now living in it.

INTERESTING. I seem to prefer a more conventional style, like a normal person.

Imagine that came as a kit, and built it. So probably a more appealing option to the "Not a builder" type. Some of those sheds seem to be pretty darn cost effective, saw a 2 story tuff-shed for an 18'x36' was around 20k, and figure add some partition walls, drywall, plumbing, electricals,insulation... basically everything it's missing... and you could have a house. Figure it'd be 30k to finish it off, which doesn't seem bad for a 1300 sqft. Only issue was the style, especially the windows.

The new build will be $25 per sqft, so $23.1/sqft seems to be below my build cost. A $2 savings suggests a $1000-2000 difference, might be negligible.

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Be interesting to think that D. B. Cooper was a psychopath. "Cool, calm, polite" and obviously calculating, and what his favorite tool to control his victims? Fear. "I have a bomb". He got away with 1.3 million too, what a daring scheming dog, lol.

https://www.azcentral.com/story/news/local/arizona-investigations/2018/08/09/db-cooper-tom-colbert-identifies-vietnam-vet-rackstraw-skyjacker-last-master-outlaw/925781002/

Interesting connection. The fact he was a former CIA operative and black-ops guy, and obviously a calculating psychopath, does lend credence to the idea he had "hidden messages" in his letters. Not convinced he's the guy, but the amount of overlap seems something greater than what chance alone could produce.

Taunting the media and FBI, if I were the notorious criminal type, that sounds like something I would do, lol.

I think that's pretty much what any person who "Got away with it" would do, I think...

The fact he insisted on a certain type of parachute, tells me he definitely had experience with parachuting. Given the amount of "civilian parachuters" vs the number of "military parachuters" back in 1971, I'm thinking there's a DAMN GOOD chance DB cooper was former military.

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I used fear once to win a debate. I made an analogy to a nuclear bomb, and suddenly the girls agreed with me, and the guys followed suit, LOL.

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Find it interesting that I don't seem to find carbs "very appealing" during days of hard work, but fat/protein typically is. Like today, had half a banana and now 2:05 p.m., and still haven't felt a desire for carbs. I ate 3 small potatos yesterday and that was about it. However, that cheese tasted delicious. And, having the cocoa at 8 a.m. and especially at 2:00 p.m. seemed to pick me up. Cocoa seems like a great adjunct to hard work. And, I seem to be working just fine.

Seems like carb appetite goes up on days with little "hard work", protein appetite is lowish.

But goes down with hard work, while fat/protein appetite is highish.

Thinking the difference between 6 small potatos (200g-300g carbs) and 3 small potatos (100g carbs).

Interesting to speculate that the combination of "hard work" and "low carbs" (100g) is really what's ideal for health. Not simply "carb restriction" by itself, but with "working hard" as well.
 
I prefer the D.B. Cooper theory about the guy that was arrested for the identical crime committed 19 weeks later and reportedly told other prisoners he lost the money in the air a previous time he'd gotten away with it. This before the remnants were found. In fact shortly after he was convicted he led an escape from prison and wound up dying in a shootout with the FBI. His initials were on the backpack that was left behind on the plane in the first hijacking.

Would you believe he was with the National Guard searching for the hijacker when he was arrested? Your boy just sounds like an attention seeker.
 
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