The only way I can imagine a connector of that type "exploding" and damaging a charger, battery, etc., is if it were connected backwards, + to - and - to +, or the connector was wired backwards.
Other connectors with enough exposed metal that could be shorted by the other half of the connector (like RCA / phono, some barrel types, etc) could do it by directly shorting + to - on the exposed-pin half of the connector with the exposed metal of the ohter half, but the XT's dont have exposed metal on both halves to do this.
As for using a "car charger" on a battery, if it's not a car battery, you wouldn't want to use a car charger on it, regardless of connector type.
You need to use the correct type and voltage of charger for whatever battery it is.
Since you don't provide any details about the battery or charger, we can't help you find one that would work.
Note that if it is a lithium battery with a BMS, it's fairly likely that a backwards-connected charger exploding it's connector would have also damaged the BMS (at least the charging port, and possibly other parts).
