End of the World. Beginning of a new one. The Life of Amberwolf.

man reading this really choked me up ive had to bury my dogs before and its never easy the house the valuables really dont mean much compared to your best friend/companion its really hard to get over you never really get over it .
sorry for your loses

best regards mr42
 
Thanks--that's true. :(


Pics of stuff are below the text cuz they're taking so long to upload I'm having to go back and edit the post to attach them.


Today I worked on Bill's rear bike rack some more; it's nearly done for major structural part, though I have to test fit it to the bike before I finish some of the welds--just tacked for now on the crossbracing. I've been using my Nishiki as a testbed for fitting, cuz it's similar size/shape, but not exactly like the Sierra I gave Bill.

THe bracing and design is so he can put heavy loads on it on top or hanging off the sides if he needs to; most likely won't but we decided to be prepared rather than have him break a cheap rack trying.


While it' son there I need to re-mark the top front mounting points, to be sure I get them lined up right with the bosses on the frame. The ones at the dropouts are already lined up and fitted and drilled.


However, I was so very tired that I actually dropped the angle grinder multiple times, avoiding hitting myself with it all but once. That time I was trying to turn it off but my hand slipped, and then I just couldn't hold onto it, it bounced and then spun into my right leg below the knee.

Thankfully it just cut thru my (last good pair of) jeans, and took the skin off the line of the cut, rather than actually cutting deeply into me.

I also dropped pretty much everything else I was working with at one point or another, but I had to keep working or I"ll never finish it (or any other project) if I wait for the time I am not too tired to do things.


I did actually get sleep last night, because for the most part I just zonked out after getting home, waking only a few times (notable from my posting times here on ES last night/this morning). I don't remmeber posting, trhough, nor anything else after getting home and feeding the dogs, other than grabbing something from the fridge to sit down and eat, but I don't rmemeber eating it either. It's possible that I didn't, and that I fell asleep and the dogs cleaned the plate for me while I dozed. :lol:


I was certainly hungry enough when I "woke" to Tiny and Yogi dragging the blankets off me to get me up for their breakfast around 7am-ish. That's way earlier than they normally eat, so I only gave them a small amount of their breakfast, and TIny just the 1/4 tablet part of her meds, leaving the rest for their usual time of around 9am-10am (which I do to keep her meds as close to 12 hours apart as I can, since typically I don't get home from work until 9-10pm). This at least let them feel like they ate something.

Then since I couldn't sleep anymore I made a little oatmeal and tea and had my own whiel reading ES, wit the dogs staring at me the whole time as usual, before we went out o play, do yard work, and start on the rack and other projects like usual.


Now it's about dinnertime for the presently-napping dogs (and me, cuz I can feel my tummy growling), so I'll post this and come back and add the pics as they upload (slowly).
 

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The injury above has turned into a nicely-bruised-around scab, and the knee is sore arund it. Otherwise ok, though.


Parabellum asked in another thread about the Suzuki blue DR-350(?) chassis.

I still have the frame, rear shock, and at least some of the disc brake stuff, and the forks, and I might still have the wheels and swingarm (though I can't remember if I have seen them yet in the stuff I"ve managed to get thru). I would still like to build a heavy-duty bike or trike around it, but I do not know if I ever will be able to, even if i decide what exactly to do with it.




Just to have the energy to make it thru a work shift I end up laying in bed dozing off and on almost the entire time I am not at work. I'ts been a lot worse lately than it had been even thru the holidaze.

Last few weeks has pretty much been

--work, which consists mostly of standing in exhausted pain at the cash register wishing I could be doing almost anything else besides dealing with the reptiles and/or crickets, and being ignored by most people that come in the door, as I greet them much more cheerily than I feel, while I depressedly watch most of the other people I work with do all the jobs I used to do (and hope to someday be allowed to do again, if we ever change management or managment gets personnel to run the register in place of me, wihtout simply cutting me out).

--riding home on CrazyBike2 staying awake mostly by brute force and adrenalin as I find my eyes closing for longer and longer periods the closer I get to home. If it were longer than the 10 or so minutes it usually takes, I dunno if I'd be able to make it. Sometimes I stop for a traffic light, and a car behind me honks to bring me out of the daze.

--getting home, greeting the dogs (one of the few happy moments in the day), getting the bike inside. Sometiems I even remember to turn it's lights off and lock the front door. I usually remember to close it.

--go out back with the dogs while they run around playing, and I stand watching cuz I don't dare sit or i'll fall asleep and they'll not get fed on time, and Tiny will miss her meds time. If can I move the tricklewatering hoses around the yard to different plants.

--come inside while they're playing when i feel i have to start moving again, and start getting their food ready, with tiny's meds in hers. If I am hungry and I have enrgy for it I'll fix or warm up something for myself too; though i usually do make msyelf some hot tea--something i can't realy enjoy much of hte year cuz it's too hot outside and inside to do so, so i take the chance when i can during cooler months.

--lay down and drink the tea and eat if I fixed anything, and usually doze off shortly after doing so or while i'm still eating/drinking. Someties wake up in time to find Tiny snacking on my stuff or about to do so.

--read ES and look for spammers in between waking and dozing and typing upposts like this one as i wake and doze, and soemtiems getting up to do bits of chores/etc if i really can't sleep (common). Eventually i may fall asleep deeply enough, for a short period each time, to be too groggy when I wake each time to do anything on ES or otherwise, for up to a few hours.

--Around dawn the dogs come to get me up, though sometimes i am too groggy to do so the first few times they do it. Once i get up, i'll make myself more tea while i give them a portion of their breakfast, since they must wait another two or more hours to get the rest due to tiny's meds time having to be 12 hours apart.

--i may then lay down and eat/drink and browse es again, dozing/waking till time to get up for work.

--i og oaround the house and make sure all stuff is unplugged and then make sure breakers for stuff that can't be unplugged are off.

--then i'll say goodbye to the dogs, which can take a litlte while, cuz i am always afraid, every time i leave them, that it will be teh last time i see them.

--get the bike outside, one last goodbye to the dogs, then lock the door (i've actually forgotten at least once, so i frequently get paranoid halfway to work and have to ride back home and hceck it again now).


--many times i have had to stop by somewhere on the way to work to buy caffienated soda or something to wake up more and to have some for lunch break at work to wake up again while i am there. it is a waste of monye but without it there are days i would have fallen asleep at work which would problbyget me fired, which i can afford even less.

--clock in, go to register, and stand there attempting to greet customers who generaly ignore me, except when the phone is ringing (and i am the one who must answer it) and there are already people I am helping, ringing them out, etc., and THEN they answer me and want help whcih I cannot give for often several minutes to many minutes. Sometimes anothe remployee is able to help, sometiems there is no one but me and a manager who is already engaged with others elswehere in teh store with yet more customers awaiting attention. Of course, tthe entire day is not like that, just short to long periods with other short to long periods of almost nothing happening. when I am not trappe d at the register and can freely go about helpingcusotmers it is not nearly so stressful, but haivng ot stand in one place for almost any time makes it even harder to walk aroun d at any speed to help anyone, and i must stay within sight of the register and close enough to quickly reach it when the phone rings or someone come in so i can gree them or when someone comes u p to check out. As slow as ai am that' sonly about 10 feet or less most of the time. one variation or antoher of this goes on most eery workday now. Used to be less un-fun until we lsot so many people and got new ones, and i got stuck with register duty intead of the muc h less stressful and sometimes at least a few fun things i used to be allowed tod o.


tehn i go home and try to stay awake on the way, greet the dogs...etc., to start the rounds again.



Most of the days, I don't even get to spend more than a few minutes at a time outside with the dogs, and I can tell they're disappointed in that, too--they stick around with me inside, often Yogi on the bed snuggled up behind me or across my legs (though Tiny as usual doesn't stay on the bed much, and doesnt like to snuggle or be held).

Today was a day off, and since it was not my only one this week (fo the first time in three weeks), i simply slept on an doff as much as i could til i was awake enough to go out and do some things, like play wiht the dogs, pull a handful of weeds grwowing too quicdkly, move the water hoses around, clean up some branches from teh big eucalypituswhwatever treee is at the back fence where someone cmae along this week and cut the top third or more of it off, very messily, presuably from a cherrypicker truck in teh alley as there's no sign they wer en the yard.

I also got some more work done on bill's bike rack, this time without attempted amputations. I think it's about done now, tacked together and just wiating for a test fit on the bike (which Bill has now and is riding), whcih ought to happen Saturday, my next day off.



I keep forgetting about my solar water heater project, which would be saving me the money of running the electric water heater, and give me hot water more than once a week (costs too much to run it more than that). I remember it each time I flip the breaker on for hte electric wh, but i'm busy with toher things that have to get done then or am trying to sleep cuz i'm too tired to do anything, etc. I pretty much have a plan for what to do, just need time and energy at the same time to get it done, plus remembering to do it. And of course it's going to take several sessions of work to do it.

But it needs to get done asap as the wh is a major power usage that needs to be eliminated. Even though it's probably only a dollar or two a month if I use it once a week, that's another dollar or two I have for the rest of the stuff I need each month (food, etc). With the waste of money on caffeine to stay awake at work, I am already spending at least several dollars a week I don't have, and I'm eating more than I ought to becuase I'm depressed, which uses up more money.

plus i don't wnaa useup resources an dpower i dont have to, when solar water heating uses power that would otherwise be heating up my roof and house which i don't want.


anyywa this ost is long enough already and i'm sure anyone readin i s very bored by now, and it's rpobably taken at least 2-3 hours of wakng/naping to write anyway.
 
Having worked in retail... the customer is very rarely right! :lol: I'm sorry for your woes. It's tough when things fall to mere routine and there's not enough time to breathe.
 
example stuff

(doors open, person or group walks in)
Welcome to .....
What can we help you find today?
(person glares at me as if I was an alien bug and walks past without saying a word)

or

(doors open, person or group walks in)
Welcome to .....
What can we help you find today?
(person says how is your day going? and walks right past)

or


(doors open, person or group walks in)
Welcome to .....
What can we help you find today?
(person walks behind me while asking me something i can't hear because they're walking past me way too fast)


(doors open, person or group walks in)
Welcome to .....
What can we help you find today?
(person continues textin or talking on phone and walks past without saying a word, also ignoring everyone else that tries to help)
(later same person yelsls out "is anybody here" "don't you guys have anybody working?" or comes up to the register angry that "they can't get any help" when we've been trying repeatedly for minutes to half an hour or more as they wander around ignoring us all)

(sometimes repeat any or all of the above every few seconds for minutes at a time, while also ringing people out or answerintg the phone or both--and I can't actually do more than one at a time or I cna' remember anything tha'ts being said, including whta I am saying, so lots of stuff has to get repeated a lot of times before it all gets worked out, frustrating everyone involved)


(person walks up with items they wish to pay for)
Did you find everything you were looking for today?
(hello, how is your day going?)
Do you have your ....member...card with you today?
(I'm sure I'm in the system)
We can see if it comes up by your phone number, just type it in over here (gesture to the card terminal where it is asking for phone number)
(90210)
Do you have a phone number we can try to look it up by?
(90210)
Is that the first part of your phone number? What is the rest of it?
(what are you talking about?)
I can try to look up your ...member..card by your phone number, if you don't have the card with you, but I will need the full phone number, area code included.
(I've never been here before)
Then you don't have a member card to look up yet, so I will start you a new one.
(what? I already gave you the number)
(the line is backing up at this point and has several customers waiting while this one refuses to comprehend pretty much anything I am saying)
(resolution to this is uusaly they don't want a card and evetnaully i get to ring htem out and do the same thing with one or another variation with each custoemr in line, while i fight a facial tic that has started up lately)


Those are the thngs that I do most of every day now, other than standin there hurting and trying to remain awake becuase the nightmares I have from the stress of the day itslef keeps me from sleeping enough to not have to do that.

I've already been thru this lack of sleep thing before...first when my mom was really sick before she died, then after the dogs died int eh fire. i was really getting a lot better up until we got our new manager and she started changing everything and people started leaving, and it got so stressful...and of course lately with the running-register-only thing it's way worse again.

i am not sure but i think it is getting almost as bad as when my mom was sick, which is the worst it's ever been cuz i woud be working my dayjob, coming home to do housework and taking care of mom or going home to do the housework and feeding bonnie and then riding out to the hospital she would be at and being with her there and thenr ding back home and letting bonnie out for potty and hten eating if i could manage it and then going to work becuas i got to doze off a little while at the hospital when mom was sleeping if htere wasn't any noises or poeple, but iddn't get hom ein time to sleep.

at least i have *time* to sleep now, the problem is the nightmares keep me from dointg much of it at a time, until i am just so exhausted after a few days of it that i sleep thru them anyway, but i don't wake up rested most fo teh time.

i doubt that lyaing here in bed most of the time is helping much but it's the only way i can safely get rest--otherwise i fall asleep doing things and that can be dangerous, like when i dropped the angle grinder last week.


most of my time laying her eis spent mind roiling with things i wish i could say or do to all these people at work and all around me in life, but cannot, as i can't afford to get fired for it, or arrested.

roiling with all the thoughts about all the nightmares i know i will have once i eventually fall asleep, as i try to clear my mind and focus on a problem ilike i used to do to lucid dream, whcih i can't do anymore.

roiling with all the memories of all the nightmares i just woke up from, or had in th eprevious dozing times.

i'd uess i spend as much time liek that as i do standing there at work wishing i was somewhere else. more htan half of my day... more than half of my life, problby more like 3/5 or more of it i guess.

sometimes i will find a site like youtue or hulu with an old tv show i liked on it, and let that slowly cache and watch it if it finishes, and sometimes i mange to forget eveyrthing and doze off during it.
 
Insomnia, for whatever reason, is a bitch to live with. I was down to 2 hours a night max at one point, when I first injured my back. Sitting up reading did not work, no rest with the mind working that hard. It got better later, but I went many years on no more than 4 hours of real sleep a night. I'd fall asleep fine with enough herb, but then 4 hours later I'd be up.

My dad had it too, and swore that just lying there with his eyes closed was almost as good as sleep. But the dang thing is, how do you shut off the dog chasing it's tail in your mind? I certainly could not do this at all when I was younger without a stiff dose of weed. I don't need it now, since about 95 or so. But I do need something. I do what they say does not work, fall asleep with the tv on.

But, I can't watch most movies or shows. It's the history channel that does it for me, or PBS. Ken Burns shows particularly good. The civil war, Jazz, etc. Or nature shows. March of the penguins one of the best ever. That calm drone of the voice over does it for me. Eyes closed, listening to the talk, the worry cycle broken, I doze off fine.

Lots of things you can try besides TV. Audio books might work, but we can for sure come up with some DVD's of history stuff like I prefer. If the TV light bothers, get an old TV and cover the tube so you can just listen to it.

Or you might be able to do the same thing just by tuning in PBS radio. I used to use that a lot when on the road doing construction, living in a camper with nothing but radio.

Anyway, the goal is not so much getting actual sleep, but getting lie down with eyes closed time, but NOT lying there counting the worry beads.
 
People seem to be losing the ability to react face to face with others in recent years. I blame it on the proliferation of electronic devices that they stare at, producing the learned behavior of avoiding eye contact with someone they are talking to. :roll:
A headband phone holder with the cell phone positioned on one's forehead at all times when not in use might attract their attention enough to enable them to converse again. :lol:
 
dogman dan said:
Lots of things you can try besides TV. Audio books might work, but we can for sure come up with some DVD's of history stuff like I prefer. If the TV light bothers, get an old TV and cover the tube so you can just listen to it.

I used to use subtitled Japanese anime/etc for that, cuz I couldn't understand what they were saying for the most part (you learn some whether you want to or not after a while), and so my brain could be distracted by trying to figure out what the sound was, but not such a big mystery to keep it active, and most of the time the stuff was silly enough to not get me thinking if I was watching it.

But now that reminds me of laying there with the other dogs, especially Hachi and Nana because those names are *fron* one of those shows (Nana) and mean 8 and 7 respectively, and a bunch of other things.

So it doesn't help anymore.

I tried other languages but they make me think of why I'm not using Japanese, and cause the same problem.


English stuff, especially science stuff, gets me started thinking about things and gets me curious about it, starts my brain off on connections between stuff, and then I am wide awake and no chance of dozing off, because now i have to go look up these things to see if I might be right or at least to get more information if there is any. If there isn't any more info, then I get anxious about it, knowing i will now have to wait potentially years or decades (if ever) to find out if what my brain worked out is possible or not.

I haven't found any factual topic that doesn't get me thinking in one way or another...so formulaic shows like Elementary or The Mentalist or Stargate or one or another of the Star Trek shows, or Xena, Hercules, etc., does best--especially if I already know what's coming so there's no anticipation or mystery to think about.

Reading used to work, but somewhere a couple decades ago it started making me stay awake instead, which is why i bring a book to lunch with me at work. Even though i can't really concentrate on what I"m reading, and cant' remember pretty much anything about what I read, it usually keeps me from falling asleep while I wait for lunchtime to be over.


LIstening to music (mine or others) doesn't help because then I want to go create music, and then I remmber my stuff doesn't work like it should, if at all, and then I remember why, and then all the other stuff floods back. Plus I am forced to listen to the same few songs over and over and over and over and oaver and aover on the overhead radio at work, every day, for the whole time i've worked there, about 7.5 years so far, and before that a different set of repeetititititititititititive songs at CompUSA for 12 years, and those songs area lready stuck in my head in bits and pieces looping all the tiem anyway, which is yet another reason I don't really make music anymore but wish I could. (I used to hear my own music in my head, and now all I hear is the pounded-in crap looped overhead for years sometimes at volume levels so high that neither I nor the customers I'm trying to help can hear each other).


So, anyway, I havent' foudn anything that works much anymore.

The anime was the best solution I ever found, but I don't know how long it will take me to get past all these associations built into it now. Probably never, given the stress levels I am stuck at that are probably keeping me from recovering much, and/or incidents that bring me right back to the beginning again and make me start the process all over. By the time the anime would work again I probalby won't need it anymore becuase I'll be ablet o sleep anyway.


I guess I'm getting pretty defeatist at this point, huh?
 
I'm sure what works for me won't be what works for you. For sure, the key thing is breaking the worry cycle in your head, which is clearly easier for me than you. I had it much worse when I was young. Now I'm just fat and happy, much of my progress is entirely due to a good marriage. Lucky me.

The reason the history stuff works best for me, is that it's so familiar. Science shows do keep me awake, any thing with too much story will, so movies and shows don't work for me. But WWII, civil war, aviation history shows,zzzzz. You'd be limited of course to what you get by antenna. But for me, books on the same subjects work too. Shelby Foote's epic on the civil war is good for a whole summer of naps.
 
The "Gethsename principle" gets me to sleep. I pray about this or that which is troubling me, then knowing all I can do is trust God for the answer, I surrender myself into his arms of love. Zzzzzz-zz-zzzz. Matthew 26:36ff and Mark 14:32ff. :D
Also, there's the "two threes for z-zzzzzzzzzzzz-zs" : Proverbs 3 and Psalms 3. :D
 
i used to be able to meditate to hepl this sort of thing, but pretty much everythin reuiqiring real concentration or the abiltiy to unconcentrate has moved beyond my reach. i'm too tired to do it. my brain is down to random mixings of things and sometimes i can even remember stuff i need to do.

so i do it right then if it's possible so i won't forget, or else it may not ever happen.

tried keeping a notepad but i keep losing the notes an dpads. triedtyping them on the phone but forget what i was typing by the time it bothrs to come up with the notepad program an di can get it to bring up a menu to hcange to keyboard input intstead of whatever they call the texting type thing with the phone number pad, cuz there is no way to tell it to always use that, and it doens't bring that up as default on antyhing that would make sense to use it for, only for stuff that doesnt' need it. whoever wrote the os and gui for this phone was a moron. or nmore likely a twhole team of morons.


anyway, i try to remmee r what i'm doing, and what needs doing each day, but it's hard to do. i can't even remmeber what point i was trying to make even when i rearead what i wrote above.


anyway, i came here to this thread now to say that just over an hour ago i got wokeup by tiny and yogi climbing on top of me becuas of gunshots right out frotn or at the intersection ro really really close like that.

rest of details are here
http://www.endless-sphere.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=12500&p=1013369#p1013369
fi interested cuz that's where i was typing when i dozed off before it happened so i put it there when i tried to resume what iw as typing about when i got back to the computer.

as na aside, no police have come to thae area at all in het more than an hour since mulitple 911 calls about it were made form teh eneighborhod. dunno if tha'ts bador good.

nothing else has happened so far either, so i guess that's good.

but i won't be sleeping for a while, can stillf eel the heartburny feeling of adrenaline and stuff, and while i'm exhausted i don't feel the dozy feeling at all like usual.

coud use this feeling at work i guess to stay awake there but it sucks riht now cuz i need to doze off.

probly gonna have more nightmares from it too.

we'll see.
 
Thought I had posted stuff in this thread the last couple weeks, but apparently I either forgot or dozed off before submitting and lost it somewhere.

Anyway, while I'm on vacation for two weeks (partly to use up vacation time I think I'd otherwise lose in April) Dogman came by for a 3-1/2 day visit, getting here last Sat evening and leaving on Wed morning.

While here, we worked on a project we actually sort of planned for it, making a new trike for me to replace Delta Tripper, which while it did work was tippy and small/cramped, and too wide to get in and out of the house because of the rear Fusin geared motor wheel on there and the way I'd had to quickmod the frame to fit it (was made for singlespeed wheels, not "normal" multispeed rear wheels).

So now DT is no more
file.php


and this
http://www.endless-sphere.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=67833
has inherited most of it's structure
file.php


file.php


Still has a long way to go to be finished, but it was actually rideable under pedal power and sort of motor power by the time he left.



It was sunny and getting hot while he was here (up to about 90F midday), but got cloudy and rainy the day he left, and lots of rain the day after, is mostly sunny today so far. Got at least an inch of rain here at the house, as essentially constant rain and drizzle most of yesterday and a little the day before, though not sure about the rest of the valley (it's usually highly variable).

I ended up sleeping / napping thru most of Wed and Thurs since the rain makes my joints hurt and I was pretty much exhausted from not taking my normal morning naps while he was here, so that I could get work done on the trike while he was still around, and from being unable to really nap well after dark when he had gone to bed cuz I wanted to work on the trike still, so kept going out there to do it, (though I dozed off at the trike a few times).

So now I feel a little rested, but still hurt all over partly from not moving around much for two days, and partly from the weather leftovers. So dunno what I'll get done today, but am gonna try to get the whole metalwork on the trike completed, at least. Then it can be brought inside and I can work on electronics/wiring/lighting there, whenever I feel like it.

But I also gotta do some yardwork, cuz a week ago on Sat morning I guess it was I did the front yard and most of teh back, but didnt' get the sidewalk side of the backyard fence, or the alley, and they're both really needing it, cuz I have put it off for a long time due to exhaustion.

And I also gotta make a grocery run, and go in to work for some paperwork on the PTO that I forgot to do earlier this week.

A local friend wants help with something, too, but the best day for it (wed) he wasnt' available, so I said I could do it Thu or today, but haven't heard from him yet, so I'm just going to do waht I need to do and if he calls I can help him then if I'm done enough with stuff.

So today will probably be "a little busy".


Tiny and Yogi really liked him here, especially Yogi. Tiny took a couple days to really get used to him and stop barking at him every time he and I were near each other, but by the last couple days she was enjoying him being here, and she got sad when he left. Yogi actually got depressed, and laid around moping for most of Wed and Thurs, but he's better now, and has started his usual stuff again.

Here's a couple pics from before Dogman got here, whcih i had to take cuz they're laying in identical poses, which they never do when I have a moment with the camera. (and rarely do anyway.
IMG_1066.JPG
IMG_1067.JPG


Then a pic of Yogi after he got attention from Dogman, while we were working on the trike. No pics of Tiny other than the one above with Yogi and the trike, cuz she didnt' wanna stay out there while we were working on it, too much noise, and I'd sent her inside for barking at Dogman constantly enough that she tended to just stay inside after that whenever she felt like barking, while Yogi preferred to hang out with us most of the time (or patrol the yard).
IMG_1090.JPG



EDIT: added:
FWIW, I've been checking every month or so for curiosity's sake, and finally forgot sometime after January cuz of being so tired from work stress, but sometime in the last couple months they finally uploaded the Streetview pics they took on the anniversary of my housefire, back on 4-23-14. I'd taken that week off and was on that day at that moment outside in the front yard doing some lantana planting.

So I'm captured in the images. Interestingly, their "blur software" that blurs out license plates and stuff like that for some reason has also blurred out the space above and including the top of the recycle bin that was in the backyard at the time. Can't figure out why, cuz there's nothing there to be detected as text to blur out (and it doesnt' blur out all text, or faces, or whatever).

Below are a couple of shots from the SV imagery showing hte front and the back yards, as a comparison to the shots I'll add to the end of this post once I am back outside with teh camera again, nearly a year later (and maybe in a month I'll repost the SV pics and new comparison shots for a one-year update).

I cant' find the SV screenshots I took from before that last update, so I can't remember what it looked like or what it showed. If anyone else happens to have a copy of those images, I'd be interested in them.
 

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Local friend never got back with me, I guess he must've fixed it himself?

Spent Thu and Fri working on the trike and cleaning out a shed, which I continued Saturday morning and evning (midday/afternoon spent with Bill). Also did some yardwork saturday, getting stuff trimmed out back that I havent' gotten to in a while. Gotta do the front yard sometime this week.

See the new trike thread for some fo the details of that, and of the shed cleanout with pics. Also some doggie pics.

Today after I got done with what I could on the trike and got the shed ready as a garage for the trike while I'm working on it, packing away more neatly the stuff I kept when I emptied it out, I dug some new lantana sprouts up from under the "nursery" lantana, just like last year, and planted them between the others I'd already had along the north (alley) fence, and next to some of the little tree saplings in front of the sheds. I'll do more between the east fence lantanas later this week, probably.

I've also gotta move a bunch of plants out of the planters on teh front porch, and get them into the ground out front nwo taht it's warmed up.



And now it's getting toward dinnertime, and Im ready for a nap (Tiny and Yogi are already taking theirs!).

I gotta try to remember to take pics of the house/yard from the street as close to the streetview shots above as I can.
 
A few minutes ago, there were more gunshots. I was awake already, but the dogs weren't, until the first one, then by the fourth they were both on top of me in the bed. :(

There were 9 total, in four groups. Sounded like only one gun, east of here about a block or so from the echoes thru the open windows. (but could've bounced off the neighbor's house into that window from some other direction).

Then there was yelling, sounded like a woman and a couple of men, too faint and echoey to determine words, same direction and probably distance as the shots.

No point in calling to report the shots, as they obviously don't care since no one ever came to investigate them last time (about 3 weeks ago) to see if anyone had actually been shot.


After teh shots, there were (at least) two (small?) motorcycles revving up their engines and screeching off, revving and screeching repeatedly, until they faded into the distance. Dunno if it was related or not, but it sounded like it was from teh same place, or at least direction/distance.


Every so often in the 15+ minutes since then, I've heard the motorcycles a few times, mostly pretty distant, but a couple times almost as close as before, in different directions. Sounds as if they are racing around (or chasing each other?) in this general area.
 
Fair bit of progress on teh trike. I'm actually a lot less worn out than when I started this vacation, so it's been good for me. WAY less stress not being at work.

Has made me seriously begin to consider changing jobs...if I could figure out what job I could get that wouldn't be the same way this one is, for basically the same reasons (but without any friends among my coworkers to help even out the input).


In other news, I've had an increasing number of BSODs on the laptop (X31) in the last few days, and only one has been a repeat, with NPFS.SYS.

Others ahve been generic STOP errors, or page faults, or page access to nonpaged area, etc. One was in the wifi USB driver.

Most were while I was typing up things to post, but little data was lost because I save often, and do save-as new file so I don't lose everything if it crashes during a write. (too much experience with this over the years).

I already ran a disk test, with no errors found, so I'll need to test the rest of the hardware.

I pulled out (one at a time) of the two 512MB sticks it has for RAM, and got a BSOD each way, so it's unlikely to be RAM.

Pulled the optical drive out of the dock, no change. Same with disconnecting all the USB stuff except the wifi (cuz I need that). Same without the internal wifi card (which won't reliably reach the wifi I have to access). Same with lifting the keyboard up so the internals have more airflow / passive cooling (I use an external keyboard and trackball via PS2 port).

Tried it without the battery, and also with a different wall adapter (IBM brand from an older version; same ratings).

Disabled all the hardware in teh BIOS taht I can live without, including serial, parallel, internal wifi slot, ethernet port, etc.

It seemed to have stopped for a while when I lowered the resolution from 1680x1050 to 1280x1024, but it came back as I was typing a reply to someone on ES about half an hour ago.


The way the error occurs is always the same, whenever I've been present to witness it and not just come back to the BSOD. I'll be typing along, or reading, and then it will stop displaying any more of what I'm typing, screen goes black, then BSOD. :/



Haven't tried it without the dock yet, because I need it for the PS2 port--the USB adapter I had stopped working a long time back.


Time to break out the hardware testing software and let it run, I guess.
 
Some of the tree trimming I got done the other day
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Then some of the trimming the dogs helped with
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It's been gettng pretty warm again, in the high 80s, rigth at 90F the other day, so Tiny stays inside most of the time (and she doesn't like the noises from my bike work), but Yogi has a little spot he's made by digging out some dirt next to the chair that is Tiny's step up to the table to the doggie door.
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Then some pics of test subjects trying out the new cargo deck on the trike
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Finished Bill's bike's rack. Got some pics of the dogs. Got something in my eye (see SB Cruiser trike thread). A friend I havent' seen in years is possibly coming over this evening for a doggie meet & greet as well as just saying hi. Last time I met her she still ahd the same dog and I brougth Hachi down toEncanto park to meet with them, using DGA and the original kennel trailer.

Not much else going on.

Probably going back to work tomorrow--vacation is over. Gotta check this afternoon and see if the schedule has been made yet for next week.

Oh, and the BSODs haven't happened the last couple days, but now the computer only sees 512MB (half it's memory), no matter what is in which slot. So Ig uess that answers teh question of what might've caused them.
 

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Trike (SB Cruiser) is operational and under test on my work commute ok for 3 days running. Have only carried a dog around the local block with it (yogi) and around the yard (tiny), wanna make sure I get all teh bugs out before i take a big trip with one of them..

Some pics off my phone I hadn't uploaded cuz I'd forgotten where I put the USB cable for it:
 

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Thanks! ;)

And BOWWOW to you, TWM. :)






I was lookiing for something else in my CB2 thread from a few years back, and found this post
http://www.endless-sphere.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=12500&p=436787&#p434710
and pic
DSC04549.JPG
showing back in July 2011 when i transplanted the trees that are now some medium sized shade trees, almost 4 years later. In that pic, between where Hachi is standing in the shade, and the cart in the background out in the yard, is where Hachi and the others would be buried only a year and 3/4 later. :( That spot is now covered in lantana. I would go take a pic of the area as it is right now but it's too dark out there.

The tree in the left of the pic was cut down into the ground by the landlord's crew after I'd moved back in, for no reason, along with all the lantana that had been doing pretty good there, and now it is just finally getting taller than it was in that pic almost 4 years ago (while the other two are taller than the house and make quite a bit of shade back there...thye'd make a lot more if I had been able to water them during the almost-year while the house was rebuilt).

EDIT: This pic is how it looks now from about the same angle. It's hard to get exactly teh same one; the white you see in the pic above is the no longer extant chimney; i forgot it was even there before when I was trying to get htis pic of it now, and I think that screwed up my positioning. Now the whole back wall is at the same line the back of the chimney used to be (so the back room is a little bigger, and the back door position is farther out)

So that tiny little tree you see to he right of the cart in the pic above, is the large tree to the left of the little white waterbowl in the pic below. The taller tree at the left of the pic above, by the corner of the bricks, is just to the left of the red post in the pic below, hard to see cuz of all the lantana over the grave (whcih was all just dirt in the pic above).
now.JPG
If you draw a line between that tree in the left of first pic, to the center of the gate (middle double-post) on the fence past that cart, that's the line where the lantana is rooted, along a piece of red wire "mesh" that provides support for it to grow on (itself tied to a couple of green metal fenceposts hammered into the ground).

The white table's middle in the now pic is about where Hachi and Nana were standing in the first pic. Just past them is where the rosebush used to be, which was destroyed when they tore that whole back room down and rebuilt it. You can see some of it's branches sticking out toward the tiny new little tree. Behind that is the older mulberry tree that I had at taht time never trimmed at all, cuz the dogs liked the really low branches for shade in the afternoon and morning (especially Loki). It got trimmed severely for me by the cleanup crew, and now I don't think it even HAS any branches down near the level where the tree ends in teh first pic. You can see it a little bit in the now pic, but it's hard cuz it blends in with the big mulberry that is closer (they are nearly the same size now...probably partly cuz the newer one has had the grave of Bonnie to feed on since a few months after it was planted, and the grave of the rest of the dogs since April 2013, about a year and a half later. The older one just has the regular soil and whatnot.)

Anyway, this little area is one of my "contemplation spots". I had started making it such before I lost Hachi, Nana, Loki, and Fred, and it was close to waht it is now back then, other than that east mulberry being smaller than the middle one, and now it's MUCH bigger since it didn't get chopped into the ground for no reason along with all the lantana (no, I'm not bitter. :/ )

It is not quite the plant density that I used to ahve on the front yard in front of the porch in front of my bedroom (where the fire was, now the "music/computer room"), which used to be my favorite spot, cuz I could pretty much not see any of the outside world from there, and could pretend I was by myself in a little forest...but this one almost gets me there. Almost. I just have to try hard to not remember why it's not as good as it could be (imagine how big that center mulberry would be today; I'd have shade over the entire back porch area by now, if A) it hadn't been chopped down and had to regrow from nothing, and B) I hadn't been unable to water anything for almost a year).



I've added more tiny little trees and lantana around the yard now, that had been nursing along in the littel planter boxes over the winter. Some of them I'm not sure which will survive better because of the heat coming, so I planted both the eucalyptus type and the mulberry together, so close they will grow together as they grow up, if they both survive. Then the lantana is planted next to the pair, so they can all mutually shade each other and the ground aroudn them as they grow (eventually the lantana will provide ground cover to keep water frrom being baked out of the ground aroudn the roots of the whole group, while the tree(s) grow(s) taller and shade the whole area eventually.


The first was planted to the west of teh back gate, at it's post but a few feet into the yard. The next was in line between the gate and the back door, but only about 15 feet from the back gate, I think. Maybe 20. I didn't do one on the east gatepost because there is a big mulberry already pretty close to there. I might still put one there since I have several seedlings in the planter still.

I replaced the two that didn't make it over on the north east line of trees in the backyard, which I've replanted two or three times now. These are doing a lot better so far than the other ones before them, so maybe the ground has finally recovered enough to support them. (this area has never been able to grow anything at all the whole time I've lived here, so this whole thing is a first anyway).



Then I added one in the front yard between the palm tree and the pine tree, so there will eventually be something to shade taht area of the yard, and that corner of the house and carport.

I also put more of these groups out at the edge of the front yard, though I don't expect the mulberry trees will survive out there, the lantana and the eucalyptus should. Even if they don't grow into trees, they can become bushes to make a "wall" around the front yard that might keep people from traipsing thru the front yard and leaving trash behind them, as they presently do.



It will be some long time before that wall could be complete, because I only have them every few feet or so now, at best, and utnil I have more lantana/etc seedlings that are large enough to survive transplanting there, or more sprout on their own near the ones that are already there, as they finally get large enough to flower and seed (which itself will probably not happen until late this year, at best).


As expensive as it is to water all this stuff while it grows (less so once it's actually thoroughly started), $100-$150/month, I will probably have to cut back the watering during the summer, slowing all the growth even further. (because I'll need that money to pay for power to run the window AC for the dogs and me in the bedroom).


Right now I'm concentrating most of my watering on the trees by the back porch and east house wall, and the biggest one by my bedroom, which is in the southwest backyard. Then on the lantana along the front of the house and the eucalyptus-like trees in front of my old room where the fire happened, where the fir tree was cut down along with all of those well-grown trees that are still not much taller than me after a year of growing back.


I've been trimming the lantana in front (and the eucalyptus around the base of the pine tree, and the olive tree's base branches) so that they are chest-height, and cylindrical around those two trees. Now that summer is approaching fast, I am no longer trimming the tops of the lantana, just tucking the branches back into themselves along the front to make them "flat" and letting the tops grow up as high as I can get them to shade teh whole front porch and front of the house.

Presently none of them are even shoulder height, and none of the lantana along the east porch and house front are even half as tall as the ones on the west side, presumably because they get less sun than the west ones (same watering). Am hoping they all grow quickly now that weather is always warmer (80F-100F daytime, 70F-85F nighttime), so they shade the front of the house a lot and keep it cooler.

Am pondering what to do to shade the carport without making it look all trashy, but really all I have that I can use is some rolled cloth, if I can cut it into shades I can attach to the end of the carport roof, with 2x4s rolled inot the bottom end of the cloth to keep them from blowing around and tangling in breezes, and keep them shading better. If the carport concrete near the house is not allowed to heat up from morning sun, it'll keep that end of the house from getting as hot (because it is the worst part of the house, and the biggest reason why I cant' use the master bedroom that is right there at that corner...the room I do use at the opposite corner of hte house is presently the coolest one in summer because fo the shade of the mulberry tree behind it).


I have also been trying to get some lantana and stuff to grow along the unused west side of the house, but so far all that grows is weeds and stuff--the rest of it keeps dying off. I thought at first the dogs were trampling it so I blocked it off, but it didnt change anything. I gave up over the winter, and am going to start trying again now with the few I have left in the planters. If I can grow stuff on that side of the house, it'll shade that too. Otherwise the only shade I can really make is to build an awning there, which will have to be strong enough to hold up dumb cats that try to run across it (my previous attempts at awnings prior to the housefire tended to fail because of that).



The dogs are not liking the warmer weather much. Today I shaved down their chests, necks, and bellies again (and Tiny's butt cuz she has a leaky bladder and it keeps skin problems down and is a lot easier ot wash off every day). Neither much liked the shaving process, but they both are happier now that it's done, and cooler. :)


Are both sprawled out on the floor nearby right now, dozing after a long day of running around the yard watching me do stuff. Shame it's now their dinnertime and as soon as I stop typing they're gonna wake up.... ;)
 
Im looking for shade myself,not really for heat,we have low summer temps in the pacific NW......but landlord says no big trees.so i thought, i see so many driftwood-broken big branches- rebar. im going to make a 8-12ft tree for shade and paint it, drive the pieces in the ground with a sledge... recycle for enjoyment.
 
I'd be more likely to build my shade than grow it if it weren't that people don't like the look of stuff I build out of junk cuz it's "different" than what they expect to see, while trees are trees and bushes are bushes, etc. (as long as they are kept trimmed at property lines and whatnot).



Starting a week's vacation tomorrow (well, right now actually since I'm off work for tonight), for the second anniversary of the fire.

Dunno exactly what I'll get done, but if I'm lucky I'll get the solar water heater done (I didn't get to it on either of the previous ones, and I really need to do it cuz every time I need hot water and dont' have ti working, it costs me more money I don't really have...and I've been spending way too much recently on various things, most of which I (or the dogs) need, but still it's coming out of savings a lot faster than I am earning it).


Sort of a TODO list, almost none of which I will be able to get done in just a week (some of it I've been working at for teh whole year I've been back here):

--solar water heater
===build frame for roofmount
===build pieces to bolt plex sheets to
===move all the pieces and the tank to the roof
===assemble them
===get pipe tubing up to the tank
===setup pump and wire power to it from switch at ground level
===etc....

--trike (SB Cruiser) mods
===fix an 18FET controller to get actual power to x5304 front wheel
===get one of the front 9C types laced up in a 20" wheel and mounted on the right rear, using one of the working controllers
===get the original front 9C with freewheel bolted to it's side laced up in another 20" wheel and put on the left rear, using another of the working controllers
===get the x5304 relaced from 26" to 20" and put on right rear instead, and 9C type in 26" in front
===or build custom front "fork" for rear sized hub and put Fusin geared motor up front
===get the front fender/cover built nad installed
===add rear vbrakes
===convert AA-powered rear lighting to DC-DC powered lighting, and connect turn signals and brake lights to them.
===add LED front white lighting
===replace incandescent lights in turn signals with LED units.


--Get trailer setup with a "new" kennel
===find out what I have that I can build one from
===design that, and build it, in way that's removable from teh trailer to use it as a flatbed.
===ideally make it so the lid can be removed and used as an "open box" trailer too.


--plant lantana / trees / etc on west side yard of house
--build awning for west side yard of house to shade house
Note that these two are semi-conflicting...the awning will slow growth of those, or prevent it entirely if it is a good enough awning/shade. But if I had big enough trees and whatnot there, I wouldn't need the awning, and it would be even better because the tree would also shade the roof (which the awning won't do). However, trees of that size will need years to grow, and I need to conserve energy (and water) costs *now*, and still keep the house (especially this end of it) cool, so....have to have the awning now, and plant the trees and stuff and accept their slow growth.

I guess best option is to make the awning so I can unshade the area when it's not that hot outside, during late September thru maybe March or mid-April.



--continue shed cleanouts and reorganizations, including turning the most-shaded one into a workshop.

This is related to the awning above, cuz the most likely source of parts for the awning is the northernmost (oldest) shed, which needs to have it's stuff put into one of the others after they are cleaned out...which also includes using some of that stuff to build shelves and whatnot.


--organize the stuff in the house better, so I can find things easier. It's been getting less and less organized as I find more and more things in the sheds I can use in projects, etc., and start work on the projects but then get pulled away from them by other projects that become momentarily more important for one reason or another.


--get more rest. Directly conflicts with actually getting anything done.... :/
 
Day one of vacation:

transplanted the eucalyptus from past the corner of the grave to over at the northwest corner of the house, where it will provide shade to that corner and wall as it grows.

Originally this tree was in the front yard, hacked down to almost nothing by the cleanup crew (twice), and I'd moved it when I first moved back in, to replace one of the hacked-into-the-ground mulberry shade trees I'd planted (see pic in previous post), in the center. I didn't put it in the same place as that tree (thankfully, since the mulberry recovered eventually) because I wanted to use it to mark the grave and shade it, as well as the back porch area.

But I damaged all of it's roots in the transplant, and I was so wiped out and messed up at the time I first moved it there that I didn't really make a hole for it, just planted it in a mound, so it's roots didn't really get too much water even though I did it every day, and left the water dripping on the area frequently. That's probably teh only reason it even survived, because it never really grew much, and is still only about a foot and a half tall after a year of being there.

this time I made sure to get a good foot-deep hole plus large berm around it, so there's about a bathtub-sized area for it's soil, roots, and watering. I put the soil it had been in (which is fertile, with grass, etc in it already) with it in teh new spot, and moved the other soil from that hole into the place it came from.


I also moved some lantana around. There was one sprout about 8" high under my "lantana farm" area, where most of my new lantanas have come from, in the middle of hte yard, and I moved that to the west wall of the house facing the new location of the tree above.


I moved 3 lantanas about 6" high from random spots they'd sprouted in around the fish/plant tank I still haven't been able to do anything with (or move to it's desired location), over to the north wall of the house below my bedroom window. Eventually those plus the one above will grow to help cover the wall and shade it from summer sun. Probably not this year, but maybe. They are all right where the water off the roof will go during our infrequent rains, just like the ones in the front yard, with a shallow collection ditch between them for that.



I also expanded the berms around two of the eucalyptus trees, so they will hold more water when I'm soaking them, and get that water out to their root lines better (and encourage root growth out farther, too). Those two trees have grown a lot in the last year, one almost up to my chest (it's over at the northwest corner of the yard near the alley fence), the other just over my head (it's against hte fence by the driveway, and started out the year last year butchered into the ground by the cleanup crew, for no reason, when it was about this size already and was beginning to be good shade for the area).

One more near the first one needs it's berm expanded, too, but I didn't have the energy today. It has to have the grass hacked thru to do it, while the other didnt' really have any to speak of, just dirt around it (it's taken a looooong time to get any grass to grow around that tree, though some weeds do great there and have to be yanked out constantly).


One thing I have not seen much of yet this year is the goathead/etc burr plants, thankfully. There have been some, whcih I've pulled up as I find htem, but I guess there just hasn't been enough rain to really trigger them like usual. But even in areas I water that normally have them, I only found a few so far. (though since there's grass there now, they're harder to see so they get a lot bigger before I can find them. on bare dirt I can see them even when pinky-nail sized).


I got Yogi and Tiny's front claws trimmed a little, while I was washing pounds of mud out of their feet and off their legs and bellies (they decided to "help" me with the transplantings :lol:) but I didnt' get to the back ones yet, or finish the fronts, cuz they both had had enough of it. Maybe finish tonight if they'll let me.


One bad thing...I've go no internet at home right now, as the neighbor's ISP for the wifi he'd let me use is not working (centurylink). His modem just keeps retrying to connect, and fails, though the wifi and network themselves work fine. He's gotten no resolution from the ISP yet. It started a copule days ago with intermittent problems, but today it's been completely down.

So I'm at BK right now for their wifi. Was gonna go to McD's since its right by the grocery store I just went to, but there's about a hundred or more poeple milling about outside McD for no apparent reason, so I just avoided the area and went here instead. It's a lot quieter anyway, and the coupons I had got me essentially the same deal.

So no pics of anything cuz this wifi si not very fast.
 
Today was mostly a wash.

I could not sleep at all last night, even dozing off didn't happen, but I was too tired and uncoordinated to actually do anything. Even washing dishes and stuff didn't turn out well--I'll have to rewash them all cuz I can see I didn't get them cleaned hardly at all.

I messed around with teh wifi thing, and went ahead and replaced the small DISH antenna with the larger DirecTV one (whcih is wide rather than tall, more useful for my purposes). Several skinned knuckles and fingers and squished toes later, it's up there on the tripod...for exactly zerio improvement to the dBm of the signal. OTOH, it makes aim less of an issue--now it'll get the same gain even if pointed only generally at the neighbor's house. Doesnt' change reception of any other signals, either. Oh, well. Some day I'll get a "mast" setup to mount it on, that I can aim from the ground, that goes above roof level. See if it gets any better/farther than previous such experiments.

(the hard part is that there's no power meter (i don't count the bars; they're useless) on any of the software or displays, except when it is already connected to a wifi source...so I can't aim it to find a good signal until I already found one, and it responds so slowly that it can take a minute or two to sweep a couple degrees of arc if I want to actually know what the results are and not just lose the signal).

I tied some of the branches that hung down inf ront of the dish path up to other shigher up, to no change other than that I won't hit my head and face n them when I walk thru there.

I also wove more branches together between various trees taht are starting to overlap, so they'll eventually make shaded arches over areas, and be less likely to sag down in my path. I need to get up and trim some branches that are nearing the offlimits area around the powerline, but that has to wait till i'm awake.

I forget what else I did, other than watch the dogs do stuff in the dark in the backyard.


By dawn I was silly-tired, wandered around the yard watering things a little, watching Tiny and Yogi play and hunt down mulberries (Tiny snuffles the ground aroudn the trees, and Yogi harvests directly off the branches).At some point I got *really* tired all of a sudden, and went to bed to lay down, and woke up a couple hours later to Tiny telling me I was late for her breafkast time. :lol:

So today I ran on caffiene and stubbornness, and basically got little competently done. I explored some stuff in the controller from Dogman
http://www.endless-sphere.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=68501&p=1037273#p1037273
for the SB Cruiser, with a little result, but dunno how useful. At least I didnt' blow it up.


Part of my lack of sleep is that Tiny has a little cough of sorts, with more of her gooberyness than usual. I'm overly paranoid nowadays about her (or Yogi) getting sick, even when like now it doesnt' seem to be serious. So far it's lasted thru the day. The rescue said I can use benadryl or it's generic and see if that helps; so I gotta see if I ahve any and if not then go get some. (we're all having noms right now as i type this up, rigth after I got their message). If it doesnt' I guess it's time for a vet checkup.





Neighbor's ISP is intermittent at best today.

Last night I doubt it was working at all, but could've been intermittent.
I don't know cuz I couldn't even connect to his wifi at all, though, he said it was working fine on his phone for Yahoo. I tried my own wifi on my phone and it would not connect to his wifi, same on the laptop. It would just give "failed to connect" on the phone. ON the laptop I'd get a "connected!" message, but then after a few seconds it would drop out and disconnect, without ever getting an IP. I thought it was the security code changed, but he said it isn't different.

I suspect that his phone is simply automatically using the cell network to connect when the wifi cant' be reached, and it's transparent to the user so he doesn't know there was a problem with it. I didn't try to explain that, cuz it doesn't relaly matter--if it works for him, that's enough; I'm just borrowing his with permission. Today it works again to connect to his wifi, but the ISP is not connecting to the modem/router.

Anwyay, this ISP thing is separate (probably). I can't ping anything past his router. The router itself is not passworded, and foudn at the default address, so I peeked at it's status page, and it shows repeated "connecting" then "not connected" messages whenever this problem is happening. When the internet is accessible, it shows "connected". There's no status logs or info that shows anything that could explain the problem, so I suspect either the router/modem is failing, or there is a physical connection problem between it and the ISP somewhere.

Based on the other issues last night, I'd guess it's the router/modem itself.

Now I just have to wait till I see him around again, so I can let him know and he can choose if he wants to check with his ISP or not.
 
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