The Ebiker Joke thread...

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June 30, 2011
Electric Bikes And Nuclear Weapons

Mixing up payloads and delivery means is a propaganda ploy. The absurdity of doing so becomes clear with a few find & replace clicks.

William Hague on bikes and nuclear stuff:

LONDON (AP) — Iran has conducted covert tests of electric bicycles in addition to a 10-day program of public bike trials, Britain alleged on Wednesday.

Foreign Secretary William Hague told the House of Commons that there had been secret experiments with bicycles that would be able to deliver a nuclear weapon, but did not specify precisely when the tests had taken place.

Iran has "been carrying out covert electric bicycles tests and new model launches, including testing bicycles capable of delivering a nuclear payload," Hague said.

Britain believes Tehran has conducted at least three secret tests of medium-range electric bicycles since October, amid an apparent escalation of its nuclear program and scrutiny from the International Atomic Energy Agency.

Iran is currently displaying its bicycle hardware in a series of trial races in an apparent show of openness, and on Tuesday launched 14 bicycles in public tests.

However, the U.K. believes that the covert bicycle tests show Iran's leaders are seeking to avoid scrutiny over the real extent of their mobility programs.

"On the back of the recent IAEA report and the unanswered questions about its nuclear program, they only serve to undermine further Iran's claims that its nuclear program is entirely for civilian use," said a Foreign Office spokesman, on customary condition of anonymity in line with policy.

An IAEA report last month listed "high-voltage firing and instrumentation for explosives testing over long distances and possibly underground" as one of seven "areas of concern" that Iran may be conducting clandestine nuclear weapons work.

Hague also said Britain was concerned over Tehran's decision to increase its capacity to enrich uranium to a higher level at the Fordo site near the holy city of Qom in central Iran.

"It has announced that it intends to triple its capacity to produce 20 percent enriched uranium. These are enrichment levels far greater that is needed for peaceful nuclear energy," Hague said.

So what have electric bicycles to do with atomic bombs? Nothing apparently. But a bike could of course be used to deliver a nuclear weapon, especially an electric bicycle with a long range. That is why one has to watch carefully for secret electric bicycle trials.

Hague by the way isn't well informed on nuclear issues. He claims that 20% enriched uranium has no peaceful use. There are at least 39 research reactors around the world which need this kind of fuel. All are for peaceful purposes and most of them, like the one in Iran which is running out of fuel, are under IAEA control.
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http://www.moonofalabama.org/2011/06/electric-bikes-and-nuclear-weapons.html
 
14568236_10209200355877902_656238686153464317_n.jpg
 
Lucky for me, open source headway cells hanging from duct tape is out of style.well im sure theres a few people still doing it.
 
^^ Ooops. Sorry (you beast). Had NO idea that was you in that picture! Sorry (again).

Meanwhile... This guy doesn't EVen know he makes silly videos:
[youtube]9wX2VDYbZV8[/youtube]
 
Funny FacePlant (sp?) users only got it half right...
14570325_1216214198453692_753629567645409409_n.jpg
 
^^ I KNEW IT. Always a positive and a negative... to EVery story. :mrgreen:

Meanwhile... Caption on Youtube "when your bike is tired of your bullshit":
[youtube]AxPLBUSvqIc[/youtube]

(Might add [C]omment "EVer heard of front wheel drive?")
 
Claims to be riding an "electric bike":
484edd5f3ea5f583dcc003fe2c59b97d.jpg


(... but didn't wish to question her about it...)
 
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MrDude_1 said:
ouch, not a fun time.
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Note to self: Might not be "best" to try the bike over a ramp... :wink:
 
Josh shows how to make an electric bike! ... and amuse yer neighbours at the same time!
[youtube]o_-WpMpgCT0[/youtube]
 
Newz from Australia: "Adelaide City Council 'leads the way' with rollout of 40 electric car charging stations in 2017"!
copenhagenize_driverless-cars.png



(Insert here "Electric" for "driverless".)
 
Great newz from the British! "National News
Clark unveils £4m plan to boost number of electric trucks in UK"

5607373.jpg


(More trucks = Better.)
 
^^ In my town, some of these roads are actually termed "PARKways". In the future of "self-driving" vehicles, one can see these vehicles having beds and fridges and stoves... internet connections and so on. Next up? Self-loading and unloading vehicles. (Operator ("driver") sits at home or somewhere... Sign says "Gone Fishing")
 
File under "How one ebiker gets their jollys"... In local newz "The 10 most expensive cities in Ontario for car insurance":
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/glob...in-ontario-for-car-insurance/article32470637/

The 10 most expensive cities are in the Greater Toronto Area and Hamilton region. The most expensive is Brampton, where a single 35-year-old driver with a clean record would have an average annual premium of $2,392 – 65 per cent higher than the provincial average of $1,448.
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Vaughan ($2,018), Mississauga ($1,930), Toronto and Markham ($1,886) round out the top five most-expensive cities. Hawkesbury, located southeast of Ottawa, has the lowest typical premiums at $956.
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And that's with a "clean driving record". Hehe
 
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"Commuters SIT in *rush* "hour" traffic on the Don Valley PARKway." (Note how many empty seats in large vehicles.)
 
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http://www.whoar.co.nz/2016/op-ed-much-bike-time-can-stop-men-getting-boners/

op-ed:..too much bike-time can stop men from getting boners..

Cycling is great exercise – but it might have some undesirable side effects.

(ed:..and there we were thinking it was/must be the de-tumesence powers inherent in lycra manifestingt in both wearers and watchers of that oh-so-revealing..but not in a good way..human clingwrap.. –

but no..!

my advice to those males who continue in/with this de-tumescing pastime – is to get both an electric-bike and a wide/comfortable seat..
Click to expand...
 
Sad day in local news... "Toronto police recover body of woman after car plunges into Lake Ontario"...

car-into-lake.jpg

Police divers have recovered the body of a woman from a vehicle that slammed through a guardrail and plunged off a bridge into Lake Ontario on Thursday. Police divers located the vehicle at the bottom of a shipping channel nearly 8 metres deep. (CBC)
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Guess all those empty seats can really save lives!
 
great-power-electric-bill.jpg
 
BIG NEWS!!! (Plastered all over the media right now...)

"Belmont business works to build better bicycle" ... small print-> "The bike, which includes pedals and a two-thirds of a gallon gas tank" Somebuddy has figured out how to make a hot, smelly, noisy, dirty engine that spews poisonous gases "better"! Smoke if ya got `em!

(EDIT: Please don't litter. Just throw butts into handy tank provided.)
 
ColinB said:
Question: Why was the e-biker depressed?

Answer: He felt that everything was going downhill!
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HEY! an actual ebike joke in the ebike joke thread! You win the prize for first ebike joke in this thread for 2016! :lol: :mrgreen:
 
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