The reason many of these designs have had failures is they put the FETs outside the safe operating area. Below is a typical graph for my favorite IRFB4110 part:

For a slow turn-on, you might be closer to the "DC" line, where things blow up pretty easily. The solution is to try to keep things in the safe area. If you had a proper gate driver that could turn the FETs on really quickly, you might be able to just slam the thing on without blowing things up.

Above is a new design that tries to keep the FETs in the safe operating area and allows using a very small SPST switch to turn things on/off. You could also leave the switch permanently on if you typically unplug the battery every time. Essentially zero current drain when turned off.
When the switch is turned on, Q1 turns on fast and precharges the controller via R3. R3 needs to be pretty big, but only dissipates heat during a brief period.
Q2 and Q3 keep the main FET gates pulled down until the precharge gets to within about 5v of the pack voltage, then allows them to turn on. If the precharge resistor burns out or the controller is shorted, Q3 prevents the main FETs from turning on. If there is only about 5v across the FETs, they should be in the safe area even when turning on slow. Q2 and Q3 can be any small NPN transistor with adequate voltage rating.
Q4-Q6 can have more parallel parts added to for increased current capacity.
D1 ensures Q3 stays off when the output is on. C1 prevents the main FETs from turning on during initial startup until Q3 turns on. D1 can be something like a 1N4004.
Well, this design is NOT tested yet, so there could be issues, but I think this will work. I have another design that uses a UCC27524 gate driver chip, but then you need a voltage regulator and things start getting more complex/expensive.