Dauntless
100 TW
swbluto said:
Sometimes we still don't.
Buying forest land, implementing solar
- Thread starter swbluto
- Start date
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Sometimes we still don't.
It's funny I'm telling myself "Okay, well, started thinking thru what the villa is going to look like. Seems like 14-16 foot width looks "good", and can make the front 20 or 24 feet or whatever. Then... 28 foot courtyard width "looked nice", and then 36 feet length for the 30 foot pool, calculated around 4000 sqft. 4000 sqft * $25/sqft = 100k. Seems like I could probably do it within a reasonable expanse of time assuming I avoid or mitigate certain financial risks"
and I'm referring to marriage there, and doesn't seem like anyone is trying to marry me off. Even if I were to push for it, it seems like I'd be pushing a Sisyphus boulder up Mt.Olympus, LOL.
So, realistically, I don't think I have to worry about that. The bigger financial concern might be profligate hoes, but I have to chase those in the first place, so again, not really a huge worry.
--------------------------------
Got septic eval and design. Aerobic required. Test was the footage of sand ontop of the clay, and 4 feet was the minimum. Mine tested at 2 and 3 feet at 2 different sites.
Their system that they "design" for, is 18,000 pounds apparently. Telling me, not DIY. They didn't offer other options.
The other providers only offer "all in one install packages". They don't offer design.
One needs to turn in a design from a licensed provider for the permit.
So essentially there is no legal DIY aerobic system out there in this area. So, at the mercy of the providers, and ticket prices are sky high. The lowest is $6700. That guy initially seemed "damn expensive", but ironically appears to be the most affordable option, lol.
Illicit is an option, but not a cheap option for those intending to sell, since permit is pseudo-required for sale, and there's a guaranteed HEFTY fine if you go illicit and later go legal.
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need to find my truss design numbers somewhere in this thread... thinking back in may time or something...
Found a mention of trusses at https://endless-sphere.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=26&t=82223&start=4100, but I see no numbers. Think I need to look at my trusses, believe I put numbers on them... I can also measure them...
---------------------
Found out that the bottom to the bottom of the triangle at the top of the central member (2x6) was 44 inches exactly.
So for a 24 length roof, it should be (24/20)*44= 52.8 inches high.
Let's make it 53.
I have all the important info I need to proceed with manufacture.
-----------------------
gosh... amanda is going rather hard on the ridicule...
I take it she likes me. :lol:
and I'm referring to marriage there, and doesn't seem like anyone is trying to marry me off. Even if I were to push for it, it seems like I'd be pushing a Sisyphus boulder up Mt.Olympus, LOL.
So, realistically, I don't think I have to worry about that. The bigger financial concern might be profligate hoes, but I have to chase those in the first place, so again, not really a huge worry.
--------------------------------
Got septic eval and design. Aerobic required. Test was the footage of sand ontop of the clay, and 4 feet was the minimum. Mine tested at 2 and 3 feet at 2 different sites.
Their system that they "design" for, is 18,000 pounds apparently. Telling me, not DIY. They didn't offer other options.
The other providers only offer "all in one install packages". They don't offer design.
One needs to turn in a design from a licensed provider for the permit.
So essentially there is no legal DIY aerobic system out there in this area. So, at the mercy of the providers, and ticket prices are sky high. The lowest is $6700. That guy initially seemed "damn expensive", but ironically appears to be the most affordable option, lol.
Illicit is an option, but not a cheap option for those intending to sell, since permit is pseudo-required for sale, and there's a guaranteed HEFTY fine if you go illicit and later go legal.
-------------------------------
need to find my truss design numbers somewhere in this thread... thinking back in may time or something...
Found a mention of trusses at https://endless-sphere.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=26&t=82223&start=4100, but I see no numbers. Think I need to look at my trusses, believe I put numbers on them... I can also measure them...
---------------------
Found out that the bottom to the bottom of the triangle at the top of the central member (2x6) was 44 inches exactly.
So for a 24 length roof, it should be (24/20)*44= 52.8 inches high.
Let's make it 53.
I have all the important info I need to proceed with manufacture.
-----------------------
gosh... amanda is going rather hard on the ridicule...
I take it she likes me. :lol:
Does this really sound me?
"I'm single because I'm perfect and everyone else has issues".
What...
It's true, I'm perfect as hell and everyone else has issues, but that's not why I'm single. HELLO, NO PLACE FOR YOU TO COHABITATE. lol....
But, actually... she does have issues. And it's not like I'm perfect or anything in that context, in fact.... we might just be on par in that context. Low status females has sex with everyone, low status males don't. Though, I'd rather prefer the term "I'm looking for a good-natured christian girl I see a future with.".
Her reply does suggest she doesn't disagree with the slut assessment. Uh... oh...
"Implied history" is a fine technique, now isn't it...
I should've suspected that much from her being on tinder and having those "provactive hoe pics", now shouldn't I have...
And this is the girl I imagined pressing down into the mattress, looking into her eyes, soon passionately kissing...
lol...
Something tells me I can get over it.
Funny... so the sluts are the ones who give you "F THAT NOOKIE, F THAT NOOKIE" feeling. How should this not be surprising... lol
Yeah, the heb chick had that affect too... lol
I wondered about this girl. Doing "cheating things" on me and her other boyfriends. I should've known that was something a slut would do...
----------------------------
What is this feeling. frissons, subtle exhiliration. Strange yet delighting. Persisting.
"I'm single because I'm perfect and everyone else has issues".
What...
It's true, I'm perfect as hell and everyone else has issues, but that's not why I'm single. HELLO, NO PLACE FOR YOU TO COHABITATE. lol....
But, actually... she does have issues. And it's not like I'm perfect or anything in that context, in fact.... we might just be on par in that context. Low status females has sex with everyone, low status males don't. Though, I'd rather prefer the term "I'm looking for a good-natured christian girl I see a future with.".
Her reply does suggest she doesn't disagree with the slut assessment. Uh... oh...
"Implied history" is a fine technique, now isn't it...
I should've suspected that much from her being on tinder and having those "provactive hoe pics", now shouldn't I have...
And this is the girl I imagined pressing down into the mattress, looking into her eyes, soon passionately kissing...
lol...
Something tells me I can get over it.
Funny... so the sluts are the ones who give you "F THAT NOOKIE, F THAT NOOKIE" feeling. How should this not be surprising... lol
Yeah, the heb chick had that affect too... lol
I wondered about this girl. Doing "cheating things" on me and her other boyfriends. I should've known that was something a slut would do...
----------------------------
What is this feeling. frissons, subtle exhiliration. Strange yet delighting. Persisting.
Dauntless
100 TW
swbluto said:
Now that you mention it, there are those times when we say "She'd have to be crazy to marry him. Stupid, stupid, STUPID!" But she still does. So I guess your chances are good.
This is where I'll be putting my market concerns since she's clearly following my facebook.
And effect was temporary, lasted a couple hours. Got my clarity back now 11:30 p.m.. It wasn't arousal, so curious what exactly it was.
So, the economy, I wonder if there's anything happening with it. My sales seem somewhat depressed, especially for this time of the month. I'm not really in any dire need of "HELP", but might be if I were feeding two. Might also be why she's hitting me up, feeling the pressure herself, wanting a buoy. Her current buoy is an AT&T worker, thought that was predictable, a utility company worker. The kind you might think a "career gf" would go towards during a recession.
It's plausible someone might marry me off if they felt their "career gf" marketability declining, and seeking security. I might seem like a pretty secure guy, with no rent or few other specific major ongoing costs I specifically minimize. The interest is viability as well as profit incentive. The less I spend, the more I make.
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"If she doesn't text back, move on." -highly rated comment on YT
What's the wisdom behind this? I didn't get offended when she didn't text back. I personally think "She don't know what to say", and nothing wrong with that.
A girl in the kitchen making sandwiches don't need to talk.
And effect was temporary, lasted a couple hours. Got my clarity back now 11:30 p.m.. It wasn't arousal, so curious what exactly it was.
So, the economy, I wonder if there's anything happening with it. My sales seem somewhat depressed, especially for this time of the month. I'm not really in any dire need of "HELP", but might be if I were feeding two. Might also be why she's hitting me up, feeling the pressure herself, wanting a buoy. Her current buoy is an AT&T worker, thought that was predictable, a utility company worker. The kind you might think a "career gf" would go towards during a recession.
It's plausible someone might marry me off if they felt their "career gf" marketability declining, and seeking security. I might seem like a pretty secure guy, with no rent or few other specific major ongoing costs I specifically minimize. The interest is viability as well as profit incentive. The less I spend, the more I make.
----------------
"If she doesn't text back, move on." -highly rated comment on YT
What's the wisdom behind this? I didn't get offended when she didn't text back. I personally think "She don't know what to say", and nothing wrong with that.
A girl in the kitchen making sandwiches don't need to talk.
Dauntless
100 TW
What effect was temporary? You're bringing Catatonic Schizophrenia to mind now.
So I was going to find a YouTube video to illustrate, actually I found a really good one with a psychologist and three patients. But there was another rather disturbing one. Because they're calling him stuporous but in fact he seemed more frightened. Talking about what his father doesn't like about him, (The way he sits, the way he stands) etc. I get the feeling this was just someone in an abusive environment basically beaten down into submission and the doctors treated that as Catatonia. This was old footage, the young man may have already lived out a miserable life where he's treated as being the bad one and his real condition is the inability to develop normalcy in the environment he was trapped in. But they used this as training film.
Ah well. Maybe I should get over it. Lighten the mood. Tell her boyfriend she won't see him until they get my internet working right. You need to learn how to pick up women, right?
[youtube]TKpXTy-sCxg[/youtube]
[youtube]psmThFiZWmg[/youtube]
So I was going to find a YouTube video to illustrate, actually I found a really good one with a psychologist and three patients. But there was another rather disturbing one. Because they're calling him stuporous but in fact he seemed more frightened. Talking about what his father doesn't like about him, (The way he sits, the way he stands) etc. I get the feeling this was just someone in an abusive environment basically beaten down into submission and the doctors treated that as Catatonia. This was old footage, the young man may have already lived out a miserable life where he's treated as being the bad one and his real condition is the inability to develop normalcy in the environment he was trapped in. But they used this as training film.
Ah well. Maybe I should get over it. Lighten the mood. Tell her boyfriend she won't see him until they get my internet working right. You need to learn how to pick up women, right?
[youtube]TKpXTy-sCxg[/youtube]
[youtube]psmThFiZWmg[/youtube]
Dauntless
100 TW
Yeah, I should say enough for one night and get to bed, but what if I'm really on to something?
Some really bizarre video I'm watching tonight. But at least I found a girlfriend for you. What would really be funny is if the guy complaining about her is her father. I love the YouTube file as 'psyQ' in it.
[youtube]zlmarLZpsyQ[/youtube]
Some really bizarre video I'm watching tonight. But at least I found a girlfriend for you. What would really be funny is if the guy complaining about her is her father. I love the YouTube file as 'psyQ' in it.
[youtube]zlmarLZpsyQ[/youtube]
It's funny I was watching this youtube video earlier yesterday, and not too long after the teasing, the subtle exhilirant coursed thru my veins. It actually didn't disappear, it recrudesced robbing me of my sleep. Hah! (And so far, not hungry either! lol. That's not surprising, I usually don't get hungry until around 10:50 a.m.)
Killed the vibe via devaluation. Don't commit to a hoe, will get hurt.
[youtube]9K7rmxjk5RQ[/youtube]
http://livemag.co.za/featured/i-want-to-hoe-a-bit-and-other-reasons-why-im-single/
Haha. I wondered if she was "anti love" or something, kind of seemed like it. Mention the word, get mocked and left. And, well, this site tells me why.
Despite the heb chick being a hoe, she didn't seem to mind falling in love. But I didn't use words to accomplish that, maybe that's the difference.
It's funny, wrote out this long explanation and then made it private.
Then made it public and wrote simply "...", and the crush sensations soon resumed coursing.
I see now. Her cryptic posts were simply indicative of her having a huge crush on me.
Killed the vibe via devaluation. Don't commit to a hoe, will get hurt.
[youtube]9K7rmxjk5RQ[/youtube]
http://livemag.co.za/featured/i-want-to-hoe-a-bit-and-other-reasons-why-im-single/
Haha. I wondered if she was "anti love" or something, kind of seemed like it. Mention the word, get mocked and left. And, well, this site tells me why.
Despite the heb chick being a hoe, she didn't seem to mind falling in love. But I didn't use words to accomplish that, maybe that's the difference.
It's funny, wrote out this long explanation and then made it private.
Then made it public and wrote simply "...", and the crush sensations soon resumed coursing.
I see now. Her cryptic posts were simply indicative of her having a huge crush on me.
Dauntless
100 TW
swbluto said:
Flashback. All depends on what you were using.
swbluto said:
Don't be suggesting, because the response is obvious: She's not anti love, she's anti YOU. Your effort to pretend otherwise doesn't really gloss over for you, does it?
That jet wasn't far away, eh? Years ago an airliner landing in Long Beach was hit by a small plane and wiped out part of Cerritos.
Think she's suggesting I should go hog wild with her. How exactly did she know I would be experiencing anxiety... yeah... because she knowingly caused it, little slut.
I take she knew exactly what I thought of her when I posted that, "Sluts seem to be great at creating arousal", and she went on and did it. Jeez... :lol:
Knowing that shes a slut somehow makes her that much less desirable.
What is a slut looking for exactly... she's looking for dick. Thus, why they specialize in creating arousal/tension, which she intentionally did.
------------------
Oh. Dude. I see this isn't uncommon. Yeah, the more confirmatively promiscuous a girl is, the less attractive she is, to the point considered "falling out of love".
Granted, even knowing this... think maybe I can ignore it and just go ahead with it, right. :lol: I wonder if it works like that... lol
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Yeah, sometimes I wonder if I elicit the "slut within". But then I think of their age, and the kind of pics they had like 2 years ago, and then think "nahhhh", LOL.
I take she knew exactly what I thought of her when I posted that, "Sluts seem to be great at creating arousal", and she went on and did it. Jeez... :lol:
Knowing that shes a slut somehow makes her that much less desirable.
What is a slut looking for exactly... she's looking for dick. Thus, why they specialize in creating arousal/tension, which she intentionally did.
------------------
Oh. Dude. I see this isn't uncommon. Yeah, the more confirmatively promiscuous a girl is, the less attractive she is, to the point considered "falling out of love".
Granted, even knowing this... think maybe I can ignore it and just go ahead with it, right. :lol: I wonder if it works like that... lol
--------------------
Yeah, sometimes I wonder if I elicit the "slut within". But then I think of their age, and the kind of pics they had like 2 years ago, and then think "nahhhh", LOL.
Interestingly, I apparently score highly in BPD, enough to "be likely". Looking at the character profiles at https://www.quora.com/Can-a-psychopath-have-BPD?fbclid=IwAR0ila6OYhzTKgHOo04wigUy820jjCQq2uuqOLqD9LXHhIx8ioODdkcnMN0 , I would seem to more strongly identify with BPD than psychopathy. But, it's hard to deny some of the psychopathy stereotypes seem to apply.
So, can this be resolved.
Jodi arias and Aileen Wuornos might be natural psychological kin, is that right. Well, let's look 'em up.
So murdered their boyfriend.
Okay, what about this other person.
Interesting, a whore who killed her clients. One might think of it as "killing her boyfriends", if you will.
So, these types like murdering their significant other, it'd seem. Does that even remotely seem like something I would do?
Jack the ripper, he was probably a sociopath, just like the "Greenway killer" who also killed prostitutes.
So, back to Arias, he was murdered in his house at age 31. Funny, that seems to be same age I might potentially be taking in this slut. Not sure what the implication might be... the tea leaves are more indicating I could be murdered or she...
It is true, she does seem to have a fancy for aggressively using weapons, now doesn't she. Could be a murderer risk, not unlike all her hoe pics showing a "slut risk".
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:lol: :lol:
I was fine with dating one, until I later found out.
I was thinking to myself, "Oh, that'd be too obvious, probably not true". But, oh damn, it was actually. LOL LOL
I'm finding it funny I had that misimpression for the five months I did, lol.
So, it's true, unlike high school... her "facebook friends" (mostly guys) won't call her a slut. But in highschool, not everyone is her friend... thus the value of a heterogenous social group... reputation and all.
-----------------------------
So if I could make $70/sqft., and could build 4000 sqft/year, that'd imply I could make $280,000/yr. Well, with full funding, wouldn't take long to hit a million, would it.
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Damn straight, dropped the L word, got mocked and left. SLUUUUT. lol
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It's interesting, thinking of the "murdering your lover" psycho bpd personality type.
Because, I think of that one girl, she was a dark witch of the occult. She'd talk to you, and it felt like she was murdering you because you expressed any kind of romantic interest in her.
Yeah, I wonder, would that be the type?
And would I be that type?
Oh shoot... I don't seriously think that... but it does make me want to think about it...
Because this girl tried arousing me, and she admitted that intention, and I responded I was going to "punish her". I didn't mean it seriously, but I did mention I was going to take her in, lock her away from society and make her obey every order as punishment.
And I just saw this notion expressed at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Jamelske .
Girl would walk into his bunker, and John would lock the door behind them.
Oh shoot, there was a guy who ACTUALLY did this. HAHA... maybe I shouldn't joke about it. lol
Well at least he wasn't a murderer, there is that. LOL
So, can this be resolved.
Jodi arias and Aileen Wuornos might be natural psychological kin, is that right. Well, let's look 'em up.
So murdered their boyfriend.
Okay, what about this other person.
Interesting, a whore who killed her clients. One might think of it as "killing her boyfriends", if you will.
So, these types like murdering their significant other, it'd seem. Does that even remotely seem like something I would do?
Jack the ripper, he was probably a sociopath, just like the "Greenway killer" who also killed prostitutes.
So, back to Arias, he was murdered in his house at age 31. Funny, that seems to be same age I might potentially be taking in this slut. Not sure what the implication might be... the tea leaves are more indicating I could be murdered or she...
It is true, she does seem to have a fancy for aggressively using weapons, now doesn't she. Could be a murderer risk, not unlike all her hoe pics showing a "slut risk".
-------------------------
:lol: :lol:
I was fine with dating one, until I later found out.
I was thinking to myself, "Oh, that'd be too obvious, probably not true". But, oh damn, it was actually. LOL LOL
I'm finding it funny I had that misimpression for the five months I did, lol.
So, it's true, unlike high school... her "facebook friends" (mostly guys) won't call her a slut. But in highschool, not everyone is her friend... thus the value of a heterogenous social group... reputation and all.
-----------------------------
So if I could make $70/sqft., and could build 4000 sqft/year, that'd imply I could make $280,000/yr. Well, with full funding, wouldn't take long to hit a million, would it.
-------------------------
Damn straight, dropped the L word, got mocked and left. SLUUUUT. lol
-------------------------
It's interesting, thinking of the "murdering your lover" psycho bpd personality type.
Because, I think of that one girl, she was a dark witch of the occult. She'd talk to you, and it felt like she was murdering you because you expressed any kind of romantic interest in her.
Yeah, I wonder, would that be the type?
And would I be that type?
Oh shoot... I don't seriously think that... but it does make me want to think about it...
Because this girl tried arousing me, and she admitted that intention, and I responded I was going to "punish her". I didn't mean it seriously, but I did mention I was going to take her in, lock her away from society and make her obey every order as punishment.
And I just saw this notion expressed at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Jamelske .
Girl would walk into his bunker, and John would lock the door behind them.
Oh shoot, there was a guy who ACTUALLY did this. HAHA... maybe I shouldn't joke about it. lol
Well at least he wasn't a murderer, there is that. LOL
Dauntless
100 TW
So you're thinking of bringing all this on yourself, eh?
Dauntless
100 TW
[youtube]6dv8zJiggBs[/youtube]
Oh well, I'm not a "true psychopath". Just a sort of mild one. Police sirens wailing behind me definitely make me on edge. They talk about the "pattern of bad behavior before age 15", and if I were candid, let's see... I did cut my cousin's bed spread maliciously, and she installed a lock on her room the next day (Funny enough, her name was amanda, LOL), and I boiled fire ants alive using sun with a magnifying glass. And, well, I implied the facts of life to a first grader, who apparently already knew them (Otherwise, he wouldn't have been able to infer it), and I got to write a 5 page essay on that bad deed.
So a pretty mild one. But, the video does detail a "blue collar" kind of miscreant, and not the white collar kind... It's easy to speculate the difference might be one of IQ... the ability to inhibit impulse and plan longterm...
How might a white collar psycho's behavior manifest before age 15?
And realized the reason why. Reading of the psy's need for control/power, I figured out that was the likely reason. By her manipulating me with predictable effect (W/O my approval), and I became aware she was doing this when she basically admitted to it when suggesting "Follow your wildest and most anxious dreams". I suspect it felt like I was being controlled (against my wishes) which is one of my pet peeve's, and so the dungeon story was a way of exerting control, by "making her obey every order". At that moment, I was thinking she was a slut, which I was immediately repulsed by, and here she is apparently effectively seducing me and implying I should just sleep with her.
There's been repeated instances of this, exerting power over me against my wishes thru "manipulation". The outcome is pretty much the same, I get angry and don't hold back. The first time was seeking money, the second time was seeking sex. She's damn good at manipulation in terms of "effect".
So a pretty mild one. But, the video does detail a "blue collar" kind of miscreant, and not the white collar kind... It's easy to speculate the difference might be one of IQ... the ability to inhibit impulse and plan longterm...
How might a white collar psycho's behavior manifest before age 15?
And realized the reason why. Reading of the psy's need for control/power, I figured out that was the likely reason. By her manipulating me with predictable effect (W/O my approval), and I became aware she was doing this when she basically admitted to it when suggesting "Follow your wildest and most anxious dreams". I suspect it felt like I was being controlled (against my wishes) which is one of my pet peeve's, and so the dungeon story was a way of exerting control, by "making her obey every order". At that moment, I was thinking she was a slut, which I was immediately repulsed by, and here she is apparently effectively seducing me and implying I should just sleep with her.
There's been repeated instances of this, exerting power over me against my wishes thru "manipulation". The outcome is pretty much the same, I get angry and don't hold back. The first time was seeking money, the second time was seeking sex. She's damn good at manipulation in terms of "effect".
I think it's funny my concern with this girl was, "you're just going to use me sexually and throw me away.". (aka, "one night stand")
LOL
I wonder how common that is a concern of guys...
It's a concern of mine, because I know I'd get attached.
[youtube]6fvYcRdhuBE[/youtube]
LOL
I wonder how common that is a concern of guys...
It's a concern of mine, because I know I'd get attached.
[youtube]6fvYcRdhuBE[/youtube]
That still freaks me out a little. A person who can knowingly cause that "exhilirant flowing thru my veins" feeling, and knows exactly what it's for (But I obviously didn't know).
What kind of person has that knowledge? I swear that isn't my sister OR mother, LOL.
She get training or something, lol. Did her mother teach her? lol.
She purportedly has a "witch past". So being talented seductresses might be their innate niche or something.
Yeah, anyways, woke this morning with my head feeling it was overheated and covered in sweat (Not sure if it actually had sweat). Discomforting. Resolved with 10 seconds of awaking.
Seems like it could be due to hypoglycemia. Practically no appetite yesterday. Had 2 bananas the entire day.
Of course I fear the worst at the time. LOL
What kind of person has that knowledge? I swear that isn't my sister OR mother, LOL.
She get training or something, lol. Did her mother teach her? lol.
She purportedly has a "witch past". So being talented seductresses might be their innate niche or something.
Yeah, anyways, woke this morning with my head feeling it was overheated and covered in sweat (Not sure if it actually had sweat). Discomforting. Resolved with 10 seconds of awaking.
Seems like it could be due to hypoglycemia. Practically no appetite yesterday. Had 2 bananas the entire day.
Of course I fear the worst at the time. LOL
http://psychopathsandlove.com/red-flags-of-a-psychopath/
Yep, I tend to have that effect. I don't know of a single relationship that I pursued where that didn't happen.
Yep, once again. Aggressive confidence wins them over.
I guess that's what they mean by "marital relationships".
I think this might be true...
I did mention that, yes. And, the heb chick, for damn sure felt like it.
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OH SHIT. She makes her own memes, too. Damn, other than the implied sluttiness, she's a damn catch isn't she.
----------------------
So, she wanted to cheat with me, and I told her I was going to punish her for that bad deed of cheating, by taking away her cellie and facebook and locking her in the dungeon as punishement.
It's funny how I don't even know what I'm saying until a couple days after I say it, LOL. Seems to happen a lot with this girl.
I though it was because she was a slut, and she was "manipulating me" with the intention of sleeping with her, when she caused that exhilirant feeling to flow thru my veins. But, I think it was because of the implied cheating, because... she was manipulating me to "break a rule" which I wasn't going to do, and that was to cheat with her, so I was to punish her.
Yep, I tend to have that effect. I don't know of a single relationship that I pursued where that didn't happen.
Yep, once again. Aggressive confidence wins them over.
I guess that's what they mean by "marital relationships".
I think this might be true...
I did mention that, yes. And, the heb chick, for damn sure felt like it.
---------------------
OH SHIT. She makes her own memes, too. Damn, other than the implied sluttiness, she's a damn catch isn't she.
----------------------
So, she wanted to cheat with me, and I told her I was going to punish her for that bad deed of cheating, by taking away her cellie and facebook and locking her in the dungeon as punishement.
It's funny how I don't even know what I'm saying until a couple days after I say it, LOL. Seems to happen a lot with this girl.
I though it was because she was a slut, and she was "manipulating me" with the intention of sleeping with her, when she caused that exhilirant feeling to flow thru my veins. But, I think it was because of the implied cheating, because... she was manipulating me to "break a rule" which I wasn't going to do, and that was to cheat with her, so I was to punish her.
Think this girl is mostly a horny girl, and she's skilled at creating lust in a man, because she's doing it to me, so it appears. The latest jibe, and my followup response, holy smoly... lust is noticeable...
Is this a classic sign of a slut, or does she simply have me targeted now for whatever reason... (Most probably both)
If she has me targeted, I guess I can consider that a "Good sign". Could be why I'm smiling so much recently, even when my conscious thoughts may be seriously doubting it.
And figured out I might just be a "wannabe psychopath", which is stereotypical of BPD. BPD is often trying to "be something else", which I've noticed often. ("I swear to god these words make me sound british", then other times, I'll be convinced they should sound like a stewardess, lol, or australian...)
There was a time I was convincing myself I was autistic, then now I'm convincing myself I'm psychopathic when the reality is... I'm just BPD "trying to be SOMETHING".
Don't like the implications of BPD, could be why I have so many premature vascular issues. BPD is the worst personality type to have for longevity.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17284132
BPD = Born to Prematurely Die
I can see Dauntless coining it, "Bad Person Disorder". What a sensitive guy.
In otherwords, rich BPD people going to die young, anyway.
And my teacher was trying to tell she thought the same things I did when she was my age, but I was seriously thiking "No, the tea leaves are quite strong on me on this one", LOL. There's something about my 140 IQ intuition that tells me things that other people may not see. The fact I had cardiovascular symptoms at age 25 was TELLING ME THAT MUCH. And now they're just getting more serious these days...
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-life-expectancy-of-someone-with-borderline-personality-disorder
Well, some sources seem to suggest 20 years less life expectancy. Average life expectancy of 57 years old. Of course, even that average has a distribution around it.
Is this a classic sign of a slut, or does she simply have me targeted now for whatever reason... (Most probably both)
If she has me targeted, I guess I can consider that a "Good sign". Could be why I'm smiling so much recently, even when my conscious thoughts may be seriously doubting it.
And figured out I might just be a "wannabe psychopath", which is stereotypical of BPD. BPD is often trying to "be something else", which I've noticed often. ("I swear to god these words make me sound british", then other times, I'll be convinced they should sound like a stewardess, lol, or australian...)
There was a time I was convincing myself I was autistic, then now I'm convincing myself I'm psychopathic when the reality is... I'm just BPD "trying to be SOMETHING".
Don't like the implications of BPD, could be why I have so many premature vascular issues. BPD is the worst personality type to have for longevity.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17284132
BPD = Born to Prematurely Die
I can see Dauntless coining it, "Bad Person Disorder". What a sensitive guy.
In otherwords, rich BPD people going to die young, anyway.
And my teacher was trying to tell she thought the same things I did when she was my age, but I was seriously thiking "No, the tea leaves are quite strong on me on this one", LOL. There's something about my 140 IQ intuition that tells me things that other people may not see. The fact I had cardiovascular symptoms at age 25 was TELLING ME THAT MUCH. And now they're just getting more serious these days...
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-life-expectancy-of-someone-with-borderline-personality-disorder
Well, some sources seem to suggest 20 years less life expectancy. Average life expectancy of 57 years old. Of course, even that average has a distribution around it.
Dauntless
100 TW
swbluto said:
And you say you feel like a bad person for putting words in my mouth?
Did you know that statistics on things like premature death are inaccurate because they never measure the people who didn't die properly? How many of the BPD are undiscovered? How many socalled BPD are not BPD? It's simply been so hip and trendy since 'Girl Interrupted.'
So you've given up on Autism, catchall dissonance or whatever your psychopath obsession was about, now you're moving on to BPD?
I can give you one that'll work perfectly, at least if you're honest with yourself. (I know, seems like a failure from the start.) Narcissism! That's right, you get to be in love with yourself. Read up on the lousy lover you get to be. The very basis of---Let's start calling it NRS---is SELF PITY! Isn't this fun already?
There's even TYPES of NRS that you get to move through, compare, try out this one, that one. . . .
It's not just the video itself, it's a lead in to another I could add later.
[youtube]BczJD2wC0Uw[/youtube]
LOL, the last girl called it too, very early actually. Seems like there's wide agreement there, LOL.
The self-pity bs. LOL
Funny, because my dear old lulubelle pug was a narcissist (She thought very highly of herself), and I don't think I'd use the word "self-pity" is any serious sense of the word. Think maybe it's a self-esteeming building fabrication used by the lowly to "look down" on those who are inherently superior, no doubt. Of course, maybe that's the NPB talking... or maybe I'm being playful... lol.
Lulubelle was playful as hell. Unlike the real loser pugs, who were apologizing for any perceived wrong doing, lulubelle NEVER apologized. She always "bit back", if you will. Which is another critique of mine, I've heard.
So all psychos are narcissist, but not all narcissists are psychos. Key difference is "guilt" or "shame".
Yeah, I don't think I have much guilt actually. BUT... on occasion... I can perceive hurt and apologize. Mostly to mollify. So, I guess that's not really a psycho trait, I guess.
I do take pride in my possessions and efforts. I guess that would be fitting for a narc. Pride. That includes girls, I realized I tend to be attracted to a girl BECAUSE of them being "an achievement". And if they a pretty girl, they GENERALLY be an achievement. Unless their glorified sluts... Then not really "an achievement".
SO... I guess, this might imply my preferred taking of trophy girls. And my mom was one, too. So, probably heritable. Amanda is most definitely a trophy, if I were being honest. But damn, she's got supreme manipulation powers unlike my mom. Her ability to induce an intended emotional state, which is not an "everyday emotional state" sometimes, is freaking .... awesome and simply... freaking me out. LOL The idea my mental/emotional state can so easily be "mind controlled" seems perturbing. I would generally think this is a "high value" trait, but... kind of freaks me out. Implying maybe she's in a higher social class or something.
-----------------
I think I'm learning. If a girl starts making a move on you, and she has emotionally "gripped you" somehow... you better follow thru... lol... if not, heart will take a beating.
------------------
Like getting caught without insurance. Didn't feel guilty about that, still don't (FUDGE THE INSURANCE COMPANIES), but I was able to feign it in convincing the judge about my "verdict", seems like he needed some convincing, LOL.
And that car crash that I caused in my teens. Didn't feel guilty about that, the true blame belonged on the circumstances, parked right on the side of a busy 45 mph street. But I did pretend remorse to the mother of the teens who was seeking an explanation.
And if I hurt someone intentionally, generally don't feel guilty about that.
But if I hurt someone I care about seemingly excessively, I will apologize and I should apologize to manda but kind of belated now, huh. I guess maybe that's the whole "Cheat on your wife, feel bad" kind of thing being explained... right... so not a psycho.
Just realized I've been trolling in my facebook posts... what she's mentioned as "clear red flags" MORE THAN LIKELY... lol.... so I mentioned I'd stop doing that.
Who's that girl, a sort of youtube star, who was like "She's a TROLLING, NO I'M NOT TROLLING, I'M PIXIE" . Can't seem to find the video anywhere and I don't know if that's actually her name.
The self-pity bs. LOL
Funny, because my dear old lulubelle pug was a narcissist (She thought very highly of herself), and I don't think I'd use the word "self-pity" is any serious sense of the word. Think maybe it's a self-esteeming building fabrication used by the lowly to "look down" on those who are inherently superior, no doubt. Of course, maybe that's the NPB talking... or maybe I'm being playful... lol.
Lulubelle was playful as hell. Unlike the real loser pugs, who were apologizing for any perceived wrong doing, lulubelle NEVER apologized. She always "bit back", if you will. Which is another critique of mine, I've heard.
So all psychos are narcissist, but not all narcissists are psychos. Key difference is "guilt" or "shame".
Yeah, I don't think I have much guilt actually. BUT... on occasion... I can perceive hurt and apologize. Mostly to mollify. So, I guess that's not really a psycho trait, I guess.
I do take pride in my possessions and efforts. I guess that would be fitting for a narc. Pride. That includes girls, I realized I tend to be attracted to a girl BECAUSE of them being "an achievement". And if they a pretty girl, they GENERALLY be an achievement. Unless their glorified sluts... Then not really "an achievement".
SO... I guess, this might imply my preferred taking of trophy girls. And my mom was one, too. So, probably heritable. Amanda is most definitely a trophy, if I were being honest. But damn, she's got supreme manipulation powers unlike my mom. Her ability to induce an intended emotional state, which is not an "everyday emotional state" sometimes, is freaking .... awesome and simply... freaking me out. LOL The idea my mental/emotional state can so easily be "mind controlled" seems perturbing. I would generally think this is a "high value" trait, but... kind of freaks me out. Implying maybe she's in a higher social class or something.
-----------------
I think I'm learning. If a girl starts making a move on you, and she has emotionally "gripped you" somehow... you better follow thru... lol... if not, heart will take a beating.
------------------
Like getting caught without insurance. Didn't feel guilty about that, still don't (FUDGE THE INSURANCE COMPANIES), but I was able to feign it in convincing the judge about my "verdict", seems like he needed some convincing, LOL.
And that car crash that I caused in my teens. Didn't feel guilty about that, the true blame belonged on the circumstances, parked right on the side of a busy 45 mph street. But I did pretend remorse to the mother of the teens who was seeking an explanation.
And if I hurt someone intentionally, generally don't feel guilty about that.
But if I hurt someone I care about seemingly excessively, I will apologize and I should apologize to manda but kind of belated now, huh. I guess maybe that's the whole "Cheat on your wife, feel bad" kind of thing being explained... right... so not a psycho.
Just realized I've been trolling in my facebook posts... what she's mentioned as "clear red flags" MORE THAN LIKELY... lol.... so I mentioned I'd stop doing that.
Who's that girl, a sort of youtube star, who was like "She's a TROLLING, NO I'M NOT TROLLING, I'M PIXIE" . Can't seem to find the video anywhere and I don't know if that's actually her name.
https://www.lifedeathprizes.com/spooky-stuff/was-christopher-case-cursed-64749?fbclid=IwAR3WsuMRJdq4DK8-x-smT8JmRd6CCcaCCf3FLKtCM8Qc8ep-4huac_c4-WY#qfosuhmyz3JomUuR.99
Interesting, you wonder how much the acute myocarditis was caused by "the terror" he experienced with the witch he encountered. His terror seemed perpetuated by the fear of death, it'd seem, which would be ironic if itself ultimately caused it. The same terror I experienced trying to converse with that one black arts witch on okcupid, lasted for about 2-3 days, except I had "no fear of death" going on at the time. Confronted her about it, and she fled.
So "fear of death" causes fatigue and heightens risk of cardiovascular episodes. Just wrote an entry on this, concluding "don't be afraid of death", and I suddenly noticed the fatigue vanished and I have energy now.
Those dogs were closing in when the fatigue was there, getting much closer than usual. Think maybe they're there to potentially accelerate the process of death, eh.
----------------
https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/hunter-shamed-posting-photos-trophy-kill-behavior-mentality-deplorable-213257059.html
Isn't it funny I fell for this "hot witch" known as amanda, when I'm diagnosibly mildly psychopathic. She might just be my type.
Isn't that interesting. Amanda cast the "lust spell", didn't she... and she then told me to pursue "your most anxious and wildest dreams"...
The heb chick did a lot better job with the lust, didn't she. Repeated varied enticements and encouragements following the aggressive ocular seduction. Granted, the sexual bond might've been key... seemed like it....
----------------------
Oh yes, that feeling of profundity, like you recognize yourself in them. That's precisely what I'm looking for when I'm looking around. Some girls can cause lust, but it's a rare person who can cause profundity.
-----------------------
Gosh, the dungeon allegory. I'm laughing about it so much now, that's a definite troll moment, wasn't it.
What's that famous saying, "Why do we troll the ones we love the most?".
Well, the trolling was brought on by anger by being manipulated into doing something I didn't want to do. So, it was a reaction to anger.
Yep, what I prefaced it with. I was in disbelief they were requesting to help cheat on their boyfriend. Granted, I don't know... maybe she anticipated coming back to the "love shack" to live or something...
-----------------------
Funny that she might be saying "clear red flags" to my saying "Take away their facebook and cellie", LOL. Because that's totally expected, right? Paying the girl's cellie bill and she's getting the inference I might not do that... LOL... boohoo...
-----------------------
debating if I should be prioritizing investment or taking in a girl. Water and septic cost $4000 collectively, that's mullah that could be used for investment.
Some signs showing a recession in buyer behavior; price leaders doing spectacular, conventional retail down. Might want to prioritize investment. But something tells me... I'd love this girl...
california real estate sales down 27% YOY, telling me that's likely where the buyer behavior change is coming from. The "real estate sector"
It's funny how I tear when reading that. "Love this girl" Not sure what it means, exactly. It seemed like it came on the heels of that extreme morning elation on 2 consecutive days, so exceedingly happy. The tears. Not unlike "The heb chick tears"
Maybe.
Possibly, what I told her.
-----------------
"So happy"
[youtube]Fd_O-WHnQVc[/youtube]
And what I told her on those incredibly happy yet soon exceedingly tearful mornings, on valentines day no less (Wasn't intended that way, had no idea it was valentines until later that night.)...
Interesting, you wonder how much the acute myocarditis was caused by "the terror" he experienced with the witch he encountered. His terror seemed perpetuated by the fear of death, it'd seem, which would be ironic if itself ultimately caused it. The same terror I experienced trying to converse with that one black arts witch on okcupid, lasted for about 2-3 days, except I had "no fear of death" going on at the time. Confronted her about it, and she fled.
So "fear of death" causes fatigue and heightens risk of cardiovascular episodes. Just wrote an entry on this, concluding "don't be afraid of death", and I suddenly noticed the fatigue vanished and I have energy now.
Those dogs were closing in when the fatigue was there, getting much closer than usual. Think maybe they're there to potentially accelerate the process of death, eh.
----------------
https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/hunter-shamed-posting-photos-trophy-kill-behavior-mentality-deplorable-213257059.html
Isn't it funny I fell for this "hot witch" known as amanda, when I'm diagnosibly mildly psychopathic. She might just be my type.
Isn't that interesting. Amanda cast the "lust spell", didn't she... and she then told me to pursue "your most anxious and wildest dreams"...
The heb chick did a lot better job with the lust, didn't she. Repeated varied enticements and encouragements following the aggressive ocular seduction. Granted, the sexual bond might've been key... seemed like it....
----------------------
Oh yes, that feeling of profundity, like you recognize yourself in them. That's precisely what I'm looking for when I'm looking around. Some girls can cause lust, but it's a rare person who can cause profundity.
-----------------------
Gosh, the dungeon allegory. I'm laughing about it so much now, that's a definite troll moment, wasn't it.
What's that famous saying, "Why do we troll the ones we love the most?".
Well, the trolling was brought on by anger by being manipulated into doing something I didn't want to do. So, it was a reaction to anger.
Yep, what I prefaced it with. I was in disbelief they were requesting to help cheat on their boyfriend. Granted, I don't know... maybe she anticipated coming back to the "love shack" to live or something...
-----------------------
Funny that she might be saying "clear red flags" to my saying "Take away their facebook and cellie", LOL. Because that's totally expected, right? Paying the girl's cellie bill and she's getting the inference I might not do that... LOL... boohoo...
-----------------------
debating if I should be prioritizing investment or taking in a girl. Water and septic cost $4000 collectively, that's mullah that could be used for investment.
Some signs showing a recession in buyer behavior; price leaders doing spectacular, conventional retail down. Might want to prioritize investment. But something tells me... I'd love this girl...
california real estate sales down 27% YOY, telling me that's likely where the buyer behavior change is coming from. The "real estate sector"
It's funny how I tear when reading that. "Love this girl" Not sure what it means, exactly. It seemed like it came on the heels of that extreme morning elation on 2 consecutive days, so exceedingly happy. The tears. Not unlike "The heb chick tears"
Maybe.
Possibly, what I told her.
-----------------
"So happy"
[youtube]Fd_O-WHnQVc[/youtube]
And what I told her on those incredibly happy yet soon exceedingly tearful mornings, on valentines day no less (Wasn't intended that way, had no idea it was valentines until later that night.)...
Dauntless
100 TW
Gotta wait 'til I get home to read that. I hope you have something interesting in that Orc Witch spell shpeel.
So that guy who met the witch and was terrorized by it. So, I think actually he suffered initially from "uncanny valley" fear, then it segued at some point into "murder/death" fear, then that when prolonged caused the acute myocarditis. So I think it was probably a case of acute prolonged mortality fear that caused it. He might've been susceptible to it, having an existing fearful personality, aggravated by a homicidally ideational terrifying witch. So the moral of the story is, "don't be afraid". Specifically, don't be afraid of death.
Now it's curious to think thru the mechanism by which acute prolonged fear of death could cause heart failure. What is fear, cortisol. A vasoconstrictor, stimulant and vascular plaque accretion accelerant. The connection to way-too-soon acute heart failure is unknown, but the connection is intuitive since all the previous properties directly affect the heart. The full mechanism might be complex and dynamic.
I started thinking more about how this process happens. Can it be reversed? How quickly does it reverse?
Then I realized the vascular plaque itself may be the "scorecard", and it's nearly always ready to continue building from where it has last left off. So, while the temporary symptoms might be immediately reversible upon removal of the persisting fear, it's ready to continue on from where it last left off the next time it arises.
Now it's interesting to speculate what other fears, other than fear of death, that would also accelerate the accretion. Income volatility causing doubling of CVD risk; suggesting "fear of running out of money" might play an important role. And BPD causing an 8X increase of risk; "fear of abandonment" and "persisting fear of rejection", in particular, playing a likely very strong role. And what kind might experience this "persisting fear of rejection", someone who normally experiences it, eh...
Someone who normally experiences "fear of rejection" (i.e., rejects), would also tend to have resource volatility and "fear of running out of money" (gig worker), and might also tend to experience fear of death for some reason... the mortal fear arising from not having the safety of "being of the pack". So not saying they're all synonymous, but it all appears linked.
-------------------
BPD
No strong sense of self.
High fear of abandoment, or rejection. Implying a reject.
Interesting, it'd make sense someone who does not have friends wouldn't have a strong sense of self, since identify is formed in relation to them. Then again, can't disprove the converse, and can't disprove there could be no association.
--------------------
I have "clear red flags", do I? LOL. I find that claim so amusing for some reason... lol... (Because I'm such a troll? LOLOL.)
------------------
EXACTLY. BDP = a spendthrift and a HOE HOE HOE, lol. Funny enough this seems to describe Amanda, lol. So far, amanda has huge "marital red flags" if you will... LTR red flags at that, huh... But, granted, haven't met in her real life to really know. My online perception might be tainted.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-flux/201407/10-relationship-red-flags
Yep, add thief to the list too. I see "hoe indicators", I think of spendthrifts and theft. Seen way too much consistency in "user reports" to think otherwise. Granted, I don't know if she's a thief, but... all significant assets are going to be in the other house, LOL, until it's proven I can trust them.
Between urban dictionary's High Maintenance def'n and this guy's experience, divorce risks look high, and especially after accounting for MAINLY infidelity and financial destabilizing affects. In this guy's experience, I'd think that "trying to get fired from someone's job" would be an additional route to destabilization beyond being just a spendthrift, huh.
Maybe someone like me, someone who can't be so readily "fired", would be the ideal match for such a person, LOL. Can't fire the CEO, LOL.
I wonder if this is a thing... CEO and sluts...
Google image search results suggest it's really called... "CEO and office hoes", LOL.
Have to admit, her looks might just fit the role. And, (implied) behavior too. I actually wondered why she wasn't one of those "hot office workers" making 100k+/year like I normally saw on match.com, like it was a local standard. You're hot in this town, appparently you're making 100k at age 27. Granted, didn't disprove they weren't all liars... which was a suspicion...
Now it's curious to think thru the mechanism by which acute prolonged fear of death could cause heart failure. What is fear, cortisol. A vasoconstrictor, stimulant and vascular plaque accretion accelerant. The connection to way-too-soon acute heart failure is unknown, but the connection is intuitive since all the previous properties directly affect the heart. The full mechanism might be complex and dynamic.
I started thinking more about how this process happens. Can it be reversed? How quickly does it reverse?
Then I realized the vascular plaque itself may be the "scorecard", and it's nearly always ready to continue building from where it has last left off. So, while the temporary symptoms might be immediately reversible upon removal of the persisting fear, it's ready to continue on from where it last left off the next time it arises.
Now it's interesting to speculate what other fears, other than fear of death, that would also accelerate the accretion. Income volatility causing doubling of CVD risk; suggesting "fear of running out of money" might play an important role. And BPD causing an 8X increase of risk; "fear of abandonment" and "persisting fear of rejection", in particular, playing a likely very strong role. And what kind might experience this "persisting fear of rejection", someone who normally experiences it, eh...
of a specific deadly disease, like heart attacks, is essentially the same as "fear of death". Moreover, it's a specific expression of that fear.
Someone who normally experiences "fear of rejection" (i.e., rejects), would also tend to have resource volatility and "fear of running out of money" (gig worker), and might also tend to experience fear of death for some reason... the mortal fear arising from not having the safety of "being of the pack". So not saying they're all synonymous, but it all appears linked.
-------------------
BPD
No strong sense of self.
High fear of abandoment, or rejection. Implying a reject.
Interesting, it'd make sense someone who does not have friends wouldn't have a strong sense of self, since identify is formed in relation to them. Then again, can't disprove the converse, and can't disprove there could be no association.
--------------------
I have "clear red flags", do I? LOL. I find that claim so amusing for some reason... lol... (Because I'm such a troll? LOLOL.)
------------------
EXACTLY. BDP = a spendthrift and a HOE HOE HOE, lol. Funny enough this seems to describe Amanda, lol. So far, amanda has huge "marital red flags" if you will... LTR red flags at that, huh... But, granted, haven't met in her real life to really know. My online perception might be tainted.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-flux/201407/10-relationship-red-flags
Yep, add thief to the list too. I see "hoe indicators", I think of spendthrifts and theft. Seen way too much consistency in "user reports" to think otherwise. Granted, I don't know if she's a thief, but... all significant assets are going to be in the other house, LOL, until it's proven I can trust them.
Between urban dictionary's High Maintenance def'n and this guy's experience, divorce risks look high, and especially after accounting for MAINLY infidelity and financial destabilizing affects. In this guy's experience, I'd think that "trying to get fired from someone's job" would be an additional route to destabilization beyond being just a spendthrift, huh.
Maybe someone like me, someone who can't be so readily "fired", would be the ideal match for such a person, LOL. Can't fire the CEO, LOL.
I wonder if this is a thing... CEO and sluts...
Google image search results suggest it's really called... "CEO and office hoes", LOL.
Have to admit, her looks might just fit the role. And, (implied) behavior too. I actually wondered why she wasn't one of those "hot office workers" making 100k+/year like I normally saw on match.com, like it was a local standard. You're hot in this town, appparently you're making 100k at age 27. Granted, didn't disprove they weren't all liars... which was a suspicion...
Had an explicit dream last night. Concluded the best way was make it quick and ferocious. Not sure I fully agree, but what the dream said.
At 10:30, had a nearly breath taking palpitation after angrily calling her proposed cheating "bullshit". Not sure what it's telling me... don't use bad words... or the proposed cheating was the exact opposite of bullshit... I'm willing to entertain "the fates" don't necessarily agree with "standard rules". And denial of fate might induce disaster. What was the story telling us that much, oedipus?
-------------------
$1/day, feb1 to feb14. 59 clicks. 15.79, 74.96
Tried $2day, from feb21 to feb28. 86 clicks. 15.71, 77.96
Trying $3/day starting now, mar1.
-------------------
I don't believe that for a second. While I do agree you should be well on your way, the right woman will definitely motivate you. Granted, because you're "fighting for them"(wife and kids) or more because she's a spendthrift and got bills... not sure.
------------------
I'm entertaining another rationale for the cheating she tried initiating.
She was trying to consummate our relationship, essentially, so I wouldn't be reneging or running off with another women.
And, if that was the reason and not purely "For the bedroom thrills because UR SOO HOTT!", that's a pretty good sign, I'd think.
And if that's the case, it'd be ironic to think this would indicate she'd be a prolific cheater under my watch. But... there's still that feeling, isn't there...
I wanted to hurry up the fudging of the heb chick, purely to consummate our relationship and "make her mine". So, if that's the pressure she's feeling... hmmm...
And if that's the reason, then I might understand why the heart wanted to commit seppuku. It was like, "You idiot, that was your chance to take your soul mate! Now die..."
------------------
She likens herself to Lady Gaga.
Interesting, because lady gaga was purportedly a loser back in highschool and college, and known as a slut during highschool. And she just went ahead and implied she was a slut by casting a "lust spell" after my suggesting sluts were good at it... lol (I said, "Sluts are good at creating arousal", concluding that from guys talking about them having "palpable chemistry", which seems like a widespread phenomenon. So the explanation for that must be... they good at creating arousal.)
So, I'd take that to suggest she has BDP. I've been warned... lol...
------------------
she's a trolling i'm not trolling youtube girl -game -gamer -minecraft -fortnite
Entry #8
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Boxxy
FOUND A LEAD!
[youtube]Yavx9yxTrsw[/youtube]
-------------------
retook the psychopathy test, scored a 12. Which is no psychopathic tendencies.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-it-like-to-be-a-high-functioning-psychopath
It was reading this I started to think maybe I'm not actually all that psychopathic. The "feel" in social interaction, for example, is something I definitely notice.
Let's retake that bpd test.
https://psychcentral.com/cgi-bin/borderline.cgi
20. The bottom range of "likely".
Doesn't appear BPD is highly heritable, meaning not genetic. Something that develops over ones lifespan. Might respond to changes in status.
At 10:30, had a nearly breath taking palpitation after angrily calling her proposed cheating "bullshit". Not sure what it's telling me... don't use bad words... or the proposed cheating was the exact opposite of bullshit... I'm willing to entertain "the fates" don't necessarily agree with "standard rules". And denial of fate might induce disaster. What was the story telling us that much, oedipus?
-------------------
$1/day, feb1 to feb14. 59 clicks. 15.79, 74.96
Tried $2day, from feb21 to feb28. 86 clicks. 15.71, 77.96
Trying $3/day starting now, mar1.
-------------------
I don't believe that for a second. While I do agree you should be well on your way, the right woman will definitely motivate you. Granted, because you're "fighting for them"(wife and kids) or more because she's a spendthrift and got bills... not sure.
------------------
I'm entertaining another rationale for the cheating she tried initiating.
She was trying to consummate our relationship, essentially, so I wouldn't be reneging or running off with another women.
And, if that was the reason and not purely "For the bedroom thrills because UR SOO HOTT!", that's a pretty good sign, I'd think.
And if that's the case, it'd be ironic to think this would indicate she'd be a prolific cheater under my watch. But... there's still that feeling, isn't there...
I wanted to hurry up the fudging of the heb chick, purely to consummate our relationship and "make her mine". So, if that's the pressure she's feeling... hmmm...
And if that's the reason, then I might understand why the heart wanted to commit seppuku. It was like, "You idiot, that was your chance to take your soul mate! Now die..."
------------------
She likens herself to Lady Gaga.
Interesting, because lady gaga was purportedly a loser back in highschool and college, and known as a slut during highschool. And she just went ahead and implied she was a slut by casting a "lust spell" after my suggesting sluts were good at it... lol (I said, "Sluts are good at creating arousal", concluding that from guys talking about them having "palpable chemistry", which seems like a widespread phenomenon. So the explanation for that must be... they good at creating arousal.)
So, I'd take that to suggest she has BDP. I've been warned... lol...
------------------
she's a trolling i'm not trolling youtube girl -game -gamer -minecraft -fortnite
Entry #8
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Boxxy
FOUND A LEAD!
[youtube]Yavx9yxTrsw[/youtube]
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retook the psychopathy test, scored a 12. Which is no psychopathic tendencies.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-it-like-to-be-a-high-functioning-psychopath
It was reading this I started to think maybe I'm not actually all that psychopathic. The "feel" in social interaction, for example, is something I definitely notice.
Let's retake that bpd test.
https://psychcentral.com/cgi-bin/borderline.cgi
20. The bottom range of "likely".
Doesn't appear BPD is highly heritable, meaning not genetic. Something that develops over ones lifespan. Might respond to changes in status.
DAND214
10 MW
YOU better get laid soon! With all those health concerns they might kill you before you have any of all those chicks , you keep dreaming about.swbluto said:Had an explicit dream last night. Concluded the best way was make it quick and ferocious. Not sure I fully agree, but what the dream said.
At 10:30, had a nearly breath taking palpitation after angrily calling her proposed cheating "bullshit". Not sure what it's telling me... don't use bad words... or the proposed cheating was the exact opposite of bullshit... I'm willing to entertain "the fates" don't necessarily agree with "standard rules". And denial of fate might induce disaster. What was the story telling us that much, oedipus?
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$1/day, feb1 to feb14. 59 clicks. 15.79, 74.96
Tried $2day, from feb21 to feb28. 86 clicks. 15.71, 77.96
Trying $3/day starting now, mar1.
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I don't believe that for a second. While I do agree you should be well on your way, the right woman will definitely motivate you. Granted, because you're "fighting for them"(wife and kids) or more because she's a spendthrift and got bills... not sure.
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I'm entertaining another rationale for the cheating she tried initiating.
She was trying to consummate our relationship, essentially, so I wouldn't be reneging or running off with another women.
And, if that was the reason and not purely "For the bedroom thrills because UR SOO HOTT!", that's a pretty good sign, I'd think.
And if that's the case, it'd be ironic to think this would indicate she'd be a prolific cheater under my watch. But... there's still that feeling, isn't there...
I wanted to hurry up the fudging of the heb chick, purely to consummate our relationship and "make her mine". So, if that's the pressure she's feeling... hmmm...
And if that's the reason, then I might understand why the heart wanted to commit seppuku. It was like, "You idiot, that was your chance to take your soul mate! Now die..."
Been a few days now and no progress on the villa. WTR are you doing? No construction on the septic or even finishing the shack. WTF will you do when the heat rolls in?
Dan
- Status
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