I keep thinking through our "topology" in a "systems approach." What we currently have (component wise), is sure not optimum or well thought out.
The precharge/contactor "module" should provide bidirectional isolation and precharge. To do that easily, there needs to be no parasitic draw in the controller and subsequent hotel loads. In otherwords the controller and everything downstream needs to be "OFF" during the precharge.
We can accomplish this with a system level switch that has two NO conacts. The first one closes to precharge (like an ARM switch) and then you count to 5 and turn it to RUN. Now that would work, but it puts the operator in the loop to count right, not forget, and not short cycle things.
A better approach is a precharge/contactor (PC) "module" that takes the input from the "ignition switch", a simple NO (Normally Open) contact that you close to "turn things on" This switch should switch battery voltage to the precharge/contactor module. When the PC module has sensed that the caps are charged, it closes the contactor (whether solid state or contactor) and then sends a permissive signal to the controller to turn on about 500 mSec after the contactor close command. Like an opto isolated NPN transistor with both leads going back to the controller.
The circuitry should be "smart" and if a contactor is used it should contain an economizer to minimize coil current and hence current draw from the battery.
Till our discussions on this thread, I never thought about it including a dissipative function to drain the controller's caps, but that could "easily" :? (except for the heat) be added to the downstream side of the contactor.
Also, apologies to methods for posting this in his thread. Arlo got me thinking again with his post above, and thought I would share my thoughts. If methods thinks it inappropriate,

I'll move it to another thread. I always thought methods provides the glue to make the available pieces we have access to work better, I guess I keep thinking about the "ultimate system" that no one has yet built.
edit: PS Does anyone know the legal requirement for the nominal time to discharge the controller caps?