I realize most on this forum believe that all bike wheels should be laced with 14 g spokes
No, just the ones with rims designed for those (which is most of the bicycle rims).
If you use rims designed for the tension requirements of 12g spokes, you can use those safely.
If you use rims designed for 10g or even thicker spokes, you can use those safely.
No real way to know how many wheels using 12g spokes are on rims that are designed for them, vs ones that just happen to be strong enough to handle the tension under the usage scenarios they see, vs those that can handle it for a while, vs ones that simply can't do it even from the beginning.
Regarding failure statistics, remember that most people that have problems (of any kind, with anything) don't communicate that anywhere--they just replace the thing that fails. (A few will fix it or have it fixed, but most find that inconvenient or not cost effective, or don't even know that they *can* fix/have it fixed).
Only a small percentage of problems get discussed at all, and only a small percentage of that is done on the internet, and only some of that is on forums where posts about these issues will be retained over time (so they can be found in searches).