My understanding is that the mosfets in things like BMS are not damaged by inrush due to lack of precharge. I had recently wondered about the same thing. I assume because their entire purpose is high speed switching of large currents that there is effectively no spark jumping a gap.
Correct--the spark damage is almost always confined to the tips of the connectors as they first touch.
The "only" time FETs in BMS (or controller) would be damaged is:
--voltage spikes generated by current spikes, where voltage exceeds Vdsmax.
--current spikes thru DS that exceed Idsmax or that cause excessive heating within the die before the casing can disssipate that to whatever heatsinking has been provided.
Neither one of those is likely to happen from a battery-plugin/unplug event (which is all the antispark connectors would help with).
In a really high votlage system, the arcing could potentially create enough RF to damage FETs (or votlage regulators) that are directly on the battery bus, depending on the kind and amount of filtration on the bus. Not very common--it's more likely to happen from a poor battery, fuse, or phase connection that has frequent or even continuous arcing.
Properly-sized, non-counterfeit / non-garbage

capacitors aren't likely to be damaged from the inrush for the average ebike system. In a high voltage system (well above the typical 48-52v nominal types) the current is sustained longer and can be higher, and the heating from the current flow has more chance of damaging the caps--but even this is something that would have to be cycled every time you use it to be much of a worry.
(A really high voltage system (couple hundred volts+) has more chance of such damage, but those are even less likely to be problematic caps or improperly sized/rated (few cheap / etc controllers out there at these voltages)
As an example...I use a cheap battery disconnect switch to turn my 52v system on SB Cruiser on and off, cycled at least twice a day, nearly every day, with no precharge setup (no antispark).
Both the charger *and* the controllers*** and the Cycle Analyst and an old 15v wallwart used as a DC-DC are directly connected to that switch, so all are cycled with whatever current spike happens to each during power-on. I don't use a BMS. None of them has had FET or cap failures from the years of switching.
***Presently it's a pair of Phaserunners; previously have used various mismatched cheap controllers, some of which have had their issues but not from this.
